But... I won't be there anymore. How would they not realize that I'm not there? They might not... care [he's going to try not to think too hard about that], but they will at least see that one moment I was there and then I was not.

[One of his brothers would likely assume he'd died, or run off to disappear like their father. The other would likely assume he'd abandoned him and switched sides again. Once a turncoat always a turncoat, right?

Neither thought was reassuring.]