dankmemes | test drive meme #28

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open January 25th, and apps are open February 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: GOT ANY BREATH MINTS?
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

It looks like this time the Door is going for a little variety. You get to enjoy a couple kinds of chaos serpents, from the video game Hexen.

Chaos serpents are bipedal reptilian creatures with three horns, in two different colors. They can bite, as with most monsters, but the real threat is their breath weapons. The green ones spit powerful fireballs, while the brown ones spit clouds of poisonous gas. If you're lucky, they'll fight each other instead of you - but who ever gets lucky here?]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: ONE MINUTE IN HEAVEN
[Remember that first rush of infatuation, when your heart beats fast and your cheeks get red and you feel like you could do anything - anything - to get your crush's attention? Maybe you don't. Maybe you're too level-headed for that. Well, not anymore.

Now, whenever you meet a new person, you feel one solid minute of the most intense crush you've ever had. Their hair! Those eyes! Those incredibly attractive arm muscles! That tinkling laugh! Maybe you're the type to get nervous, maybe you'll swallow seven packets of hot sauce to show how cool you are, maybe you'll just lay down your very best pickup lines. Maybe more than one of the above - there are so many ways to embarrass yourself in 60 seconds!

But then time's up, and your insta-crush is gone, and now you get to deal with the consequences. What did you say? What did you do? That laugh you thought was beautiful and tinkling turns out to be obnoxious and honking. Also, you're pretty sure you just hit on your neighbor. But hey... maybe they actually are pretty hot, and you just made the first move. It's possible!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: THE PITTER PATTER OF LITTLE FEET
[There you were, minding your own business, when you suddenly fell into a deep sleep. Not that you remember that - now all you remember is being a child, as your consciousness has taken the form of your younger self. Here's your opportunity to run around and get into all the trouble you could hope for!

Or maybe you didn't become a child - maybe someone else did. Did some random kid just run up to you, confused and a little scared, or possibly just obnoxious? It'd be nice of you to help them out. Unless you hate kids, and hey, who can blame you? They're loud and somehow their little hands always seem to be sticky. Still. Make sure they don't run straight into the monsters outside the city, all right?

This is a mini version of our Hope of a Child event this month.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The good part about Taako keeping quiet about any real affections is that a minute is not even close to long enough to get him to say something about it, especially when he's fully aware of god bullshit and how easily it can sway this sort of dumbassery. However, out of everyone he's spoken to today, this? This was not the conversation he wanted to be having. Even a little.

Taako blinks once at Magnus, like he can't find a remark scathing enough to throw in the first five seconds.]

Mags, what the fuck.

[Nailed it.]

[ Thank the heavens above Taako is still...very much, 100% Taako. He was worried he'd end up talking to some kind of lovey-dovey Taakomination. It's then (Yes, just then.) he realizes how weird his initial question was, especially with it coming out of nowhere. Whoops. They're both just nailin it here. ]

No, Taako, it's not what it sounds like! [ Sooo he's not really sure what it sounds like, but it's definitely not that!? ] Hear me out, okay? [ He pauses. For dramatic effect?

Nah, he's just trying to phrase this the best way possible-- ] I think I've become irresistable!

[ That wasn't any better, jfc Mags. ]

[Don't worry Magnus, we're not getting into Taangus territory, Taako has a boyfriend he adores very much thanks. That said, he can't figure out if the appropriate reaction here is laughing, more laughing, or laughing so hard he just loses it on the floor. As it stands, he's picking at least one if the loud chuckles are anything to go by.]

Are you kidding? You? Come on Mags, you really think-- dude. No offence, but you're not that hot.

[Taako, that's still offensive.]

So what, you need some Taako advice for beatin' people off with a stick?

[ Any normal person would probably be offended, but Magnus doesn't really bat an eye at the insult. Looks aren't really something he's super concerned about. He's sure some people would find him, like, ruggedly handsome or whatever, because he is a beefy boy, but he's never really given it too much thought.

He's got bears to train with and people to protect, after all. Plus, he's known Taako long enough to understand there isn't usually ill-intent behind most of his comments. ]

Well, not exactly. [ He shrugs. ] I thought you might know what was going on...or could tell if someone, like, cast a spell on me?

[ He's in no way implying Taako's the one responsible, he just knows way more about magic and stuff than Magnus does. (Though if it turns out that Taako and/or Lup are pranking him...well, he wouldn't be surprised.) ]

[Okay, that's actually a more reasonable question than he was expecting. Unfortunately, not one he's gonna be able to do much about.]

Soo, would totally love to, but rule #1 of this place is no detect magic spells. It's like, uh, entirely lich bullshit magic and everything lights up like you've got your dick in a Candlenights bush.

[He hums a moment like he's trying to come up with an actual answer.]

I mean, I guess I could try to charm you. Cuz if it doesn't work, you, uh, you already got one. And if it does it'll break in an hour, so.

test drive meme #28

shows up like two weeks late with starbucks, love because i'm Awful

The best kind of awful tbh, I'm cacklin

ME TOO

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