I have some Jane Austen novels that should work. They're classics and all you really need to know is that back when they were written, everyone was obsessed with manners. [and she's doing her best to not throw out a lot of 30th century jargon.

it is confusing. the name sounds vaguely like it belongs to a part of earth once known as Japan but if it's a capital of an entire country? she's at a loss. and everything's been united by Earthgov anyway. so she settles with] Is it nice there?

That's exactly it! The only difference is that Bgztlians evolved the ability to become intangible and pass between the dimensions. We can't be touched by anything when we do that.

[and how to answer that? she's not about to admit that she thinks she might be dead to a stranger, as nice as he's been]
Yes. Hopefully.