[Years. Sleepless nights. A hole that she had refused to acknowledge for years but rather had filled with pain that had driven her like a hellhound after a soul that needed to be reaped. For the longest time there had been no thought of after, because she hadn't thought that there would be any after.
Who the hell would have thought that a ragtag bunch of idiots would change that. Of course Carolina can see now why Wash had defended them. They didn't have the best training or the best ethics, and half the time it was bullshit that they did, but somehow, beyond all expectations, they defied reality.
There's new scars, inside and out, most not seen to the naked eye, but she's not entirely unrecognizable. There is still that determination in those green eyes, and while there are lines there, smiles and laughs can come easier to her at times. Like now, the image that he paints, mouth filled with food, as if it might just poof. It could, she acknowledges with a slight upward twist of one side of her mouth, although it is unlikely.
As much as she has changed, grown older, a little wiser, he's just as her memory serves. She sees him still, in her memories, in her nightmares. Sees them all. The feelings that the temple had driven up when she had walked in to it are always there just below the surface. It's that feeling of failure, of amends and atonement, of bearing that cross until it finally does break her one of these days.
Ghosts of past she knows of, wonders how long he will remain. Caboose had come and gone. Texas. Alpha. Even York, for a very short time. Her gaze has turned away from his watching eyes, drifting out over the array of food, although that alertness that makes her a good soldier never does depart. It's almost offhand, although it's clear that it's not, but rather an attempt to put her thoughts in to some semblance of order.]
Not an every day thing. Likely lucky. Might have to make my morning work out longer.
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Who the hell would have thought that a ragtag bunch of idiots would change that. Of course Carolina can see now why Wash had defended them. They didn't have the best training or the best ethics, and half the time it was bullshit that they did, but somehow, beyond all expectations, they defied reality.
There's new scars, inside and out, most not seen to the naked eye, but she's not entirely unrecognizable. There is still that determination in those green eyes, and while there are lines there, smiles and laughs can come easier to her at times. Like now, the image that he paints, mouth filled with food, as if it might just poof. It could, she acknowledges with a slight upward twist of one side of her mouth, although it is unlikely.
As much as she has changed, grown older, a little wiser, he's just as her memory serves. She sees him still, in her memories, in her nightmares. Sees them all. The feelings that the temple had driven up when she had walked in to it are always there just below the surface. It's that feeling of failure, of amends and atonement, of bearing that cross until it finally does break her one of these days.
Ghosts of past she knows of, wonders how long he will remain. Caboose had come and gone. Texas. Alpha. Even York, for a very short time. Her gaze has turned away from his watching eyes, drifting out over the array of food, although that alertness that makes her a good soldier never does depart. It's almost offhand, although it's clear that it's not, but rather an attempt to put her thoughts in to some semblance of order.]
Not an every day thing. Likely lucky. Might have to make my morning work out longer.