dankmemes | test drive meme # 39

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open December 25th, and apps are open January 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HE MADE HIS LIST
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

You were hoping for something seasonally appropriate, right? Well, the Door doesn't know it's December, so this must be a coincidence - because this time, it's brought in the Krampus.

This creature is the opposite of Santa, and if you've been bad (and let's be real, who in Hadriel hasn't), it'll be all too happy to punish. Maybe you'll get lucky and it'll just scare the crap out of you and give you some coal... or maybe it'll decide your punishment needs to be much, much worse. Don't you wish you'd been good this year?]

R A G E

SCENARIO TWO: HADRIELITE VANDAL
[Last night everything was fine. You went to bed happy and content - well, as happy and content as you ever are. But this morning, as you stepped out of your house, something was wrong. Maybe you didn't notice it at first - maybe someone had to point it out to you. But there it was, in big bold letters: someone had painted an insult across the front of your house.

Maybe it's a rude name. Maybe an insulting comment. Maybe just a picture of a dick with an arrow pointing to it that says your name. Whatever it is, someone did it specifically to fuck with you. But who? And why? Maybe you already think you know who, and all you need to do is hunt them down. Or maybe it's time for an investigation. Or... maybe all you want to do is clean it off before someone sees.

Good luck. That paint is already dry.]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: ALL FLIPPY-FLOPPY
[You didn't realize there was anything wrong, not until you saw that person you've always thought was your best friend. They seem the same as ever, it's just - you really don't understand what you saw in them anymore. They're kind of whiny, they're way less cool than you remember, and that hair? Ew.

It's not just that. You ran into your worst enemy earlier, and maybe... you were wrong about them? It really seems like they have some good points, and that annoying expression they always make actually seems kind of cute now. Maybe it's time to kiss and make up, possibly literally!

This is a mini version of our Your Best Enemy event this month.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( Steak, being Steak, sees one very simple solution to the graffiti on his door: removing the whole door. He attempted cleaning, but whatever cleaning products still remain in this half-abandoned city don't do the job well enough.

Thus, the nuclear option.

He's walking down the stairs with the door in hand when he very nearly rams the edge of it into a standing Red Wine, and it's not entirely certain whether Steak intended to do that or not. All that is certain is the derisive huff as he looks at Red Wine's door. )

Nonsense.

( Demon is hardly the word to describe this Food Soul. )

Bastard would be more fitting.

[He didn't move even when he sensed the door heading right towards him. There are two reasons for that. The first is that he is quite sure that Steak won't actually hit him with it. The second is that if Steak does hit him with it, he did it on purpose and is spoiling for a fight, which is fine.]

And it would be equally unimaginative. [Red Wine replies haughtily, using the single inch he has in height over the other Soul to very effectively look down his nose at him before his attention slides to what he's carrying.]

That was your solution? You're more of an idiot than I thought.

( That inch is not very impressive, Red Wine. But Steak bristles anyway, already at the end of his tether thanks to this ridiculous graffiti and the awful cleaning products.

So, with all the maturity that is associated with two eternally aged beings, Steak swings the door slightly, swiping at Red Wine with the edge. )

It worked. What are you going to do?

Edited 2018-12-25 10:18 (UTC)

[The inch is enough, and more than enough if it bothers this moron. He hisses softly as he's swiped at with the door, grabbing the edge of it and forcing it down towards the ground.]

Don't make yourself look more a fool than you already do with these childish antics, Steak. [He snaps curtly. As if it isn't enough that he feels he must always be watching what the other Soul is doing to make sure he isn't running head first into some monster he can't defeat alone.]

And if you wanted to make use of my ideas perhaps you should have thought of that before you resorted to unnecessary destruction.

( He would do just fine without Red Wine, thanks very much. If they weren't both Knights of the Holy Sword (Knights, Red Wine, because that's what they are), if he hadn't made an oath to his Attendant, some days...

He could be having a bath at the inn right now. Mapping a route to the next town. Simple, very missed things. Instead, he's carrying a door on which is scrawled one of this asshole's favourite things to call him, and he really just wants to punch the smarm off Red Wine's face.

... Okay, so he usually wants to do that. But the urge is louder than usual, loud enough that Steak drops the door and hurls a fist right towards Red Wine's face.

He might just be proving that scrawled brute correct, but who gives a damn. )

[And Steak is not the only one who sometimes wishes he had never made that oath, but the oath had been made, and Red Wine was going to be bound to this idiot until one of them finally perished. Given their respective skills at keeping one another alive, that looked set to be a long, long time off.

He knows what's going to happen the moment the door begins to fall away from Steak's hand. This dance is one they both have memorised, and he ducks the swing like he anticipated the exact angle it would come from.]

So it's to be this, is it?! [Red Wine snarls, taking a step back and balling his fists at his sides.] Do you really think this is the time for your posturing?

( In a strange way, Steak missed this in the month he was here alone. They've been in this routine for so long that a month without fighting Red Wine felt foreign to him. He doesn't feel any surprise at Red Wine dodging, and quickly follows up the first punch with a second aimed right at Red Wine's side. The words don't really bother him. He's heard the worst of what the other Soul has to say and he's itching to get back into something familiar more than he is to prove anyone wrong.

Red Wine, or the graffiti. )

Scared you might lose? Again?

Scared? Of you? Don't flatter yourself.

[A graceful sidestep has the second attempt to hit him swinging wide. In the back of his mind he knows very well that Steak will regain better control over himself if he is actually allowed to hit him, but Red Wine has never been about making things easy for either of them if he can help it.

Not to Steak's face, anyway.

And yet, neither of them draw their swords. The thought doesn't even brush the edges of his mind. Steak wants to fight? Very well, then they'll fight. He balls his fingers into tight fists and darts forwards, almost blurring as he moves swiftly behind the other Soul and aims a kick to the small of his back.]

( A sword fight is certainly more their style, confrontation which serves as training and sparring, but there's a release to using fists — the flood of relief at being back to something so familiar washes over Steak, but he doesn't let that stop the ball as it begins rolling. This is as much a matter of pride as it is habit. After all the nonsense of this city and this mysterious graffiti artist, winning a fight against Red Wine is just what Steak needs to throw his world back into something approaching balance.

Though, Red Wine has always been the faster of the two of them, and even though Steak anticipates the move the second Red Wine blurs, his reflexes aren't agile enough to avoid the kick which hits him in the side as he's halfway through turning. He grimaces, scrambling some control back with an outreached hand to try and grab Red Wine by the ankle as he steps backwards and collides with a stair. There's not that much room on this staircase.

Oh well. It's good practice for some future disaster, Steak is sure. )

test drive meme # 39

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they're so stupid..........

so so dumb

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