dankmemes | test drive meme #17

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open February 22nd, and apps are open March 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: SHOOTING HOOPS
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There you are, calmly exploring this super cool cave city, when all of a sudden you see something roll toward you. What could that possibly be? Why, it seems the Door has brought in some hoop snakes, which are definitely real.

Hoop snakes are poisonous and aggressive reptiles, able to pursue fleeing prey by grasping their tail in their jaws and rolling after them like a wheel. Wow, so efficient! Hard to get away from, though, and kind of... terrifying? If you want to get away, you better be a fast runner. Or maybe you should climb something. Good luck!]

S O R R O W

SCENARIO TWO: YOU GOT THE BLUES
[You woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed. Not the angry side - the sad side. Somehow, everything just seems to be going wrong, and you don't know why. You were out of milk for your cereal, the fruit you picked just yesterday is already going bad, and instead of getting frustrated all you want to do is feel sorry for yourself.

Even the good things aren't going too well. Maybe your friend just told you your hair looks nice today - doesn't that mean it looks bad the rest of the time? Probably. They've just been too nice to tell you. And your crush smiled at you - that probably means they know about your feelings and are getting ready to let you down easy. That's the only explanation.

No matter what happens, your mind is giving you the worst, most depressing interpretation. You can try to fight it and be aggressively upbeat - or maybe you just want to cry on somebody's shoulder. Yeah. That sounds good right about now.]

D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: PUCKER UP
[For once, Hadriel looks rather lovely, all covered in snow and seasonal! Sure, it's not quite the right season anymore, but who really knows what month it is? Not the residents, and certainly not the gods. But for whatever reason, Delight has decided there should be snow on the ground and ugly sweaters in the shops.

And, of course, mistletoe. On your wanderings around the city, you may find yourself under the mistletoe with a friend or a stranger or even an enemy. Regardless of who they are and how you really feel about them, the mistletoe will give you a gentle compulsion to plant a kiss right on those appealing lips of theirs. You can resist if you want - it won't force you - but don't you kind of want to go for it?

This is a mini version of our Kissmas event this month!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Zagreus shoots the newcomer an incredulous look, that only gets moreso when the slouchy bony reality sinks in. That's even less fair than nonsensical rolling snakes, why has a skeleton popped into existence seemingly from nowhere to ask him inane questions? As if he's not busy enough. Nevertheless, the apparition is jarring enough to break him out of his nervy bolting instinct. "Never better!" he answers, sounding very put-upon.

Now that the initial whatever has worn off, outrunning a scaly hoop seems like an unproductive way to spend time; Zagreus opts instead to scrabble to the top of a well-on-its-way-to-ruined wall, like someone who would be very skilled at climbing bookcases at a moment's notice.

"Now listen here," he addresses, curiously enough, the snake. "I've run from considerably larger and more imaginary reptiles than you, so I know what I'm about."

Yeah, he sounds like he's having a real good time. To his credit, his reaction lands more in the area of irritated rather than the out-and-out fear a guy like him tends to engender. So that's...new, at least. A novelty.

"I wouldn't call this one imaginary," Sans puts in, very helpfully, poised on the roof of some building or another as he watches the scene play out with subdued interest. "Though that might, uh - even the scales, if it was."

Sorry, did you not sign up for reptilian wordplay? Too bad. This is your lot now. This is your life.

"If it were," Zagreus corrects, "And it is. I should know." Why is--you know what, who cares. Skeleton's on the roof, why not. Where else would it be? Not inside a person, obviously. That would be crazy. "That was a terrible pun," though he sounds the least judgmental he's sounded so far. Or at least a more neutral kind of judgmental, like a judge on a cooking show. It's the judgment of a professional. In this case, a professional aggravator, which is, he assumes, the only reason someone would make a pun in this instance.

The snake, still resolute in its existence, did not, as he hoped, collide with the wall and then fall over into a hula-hoop loss of momentum. Instead it simply un-hoops, but does not immediately climb the wall. Maybe it can't. He can hope.

You ever heard of a skeleton inside a person? Absurd. Ridiculous. Absolutely uncalled for, sir. Keep your dirty jokes to yourself.

"Well, I try my best. Bein' a skelepun is a full-time job, y'know." Accompanied by the hitch of his shoulders in a guileless shrug, palms opened to the ceiling. The snake don't seem to find the joke amusing, and unfurls to circle its prey hopefully.

"What's this about imaginary reptiles, anyway?"

To his credit, Zagreus doesn't groan, but the distaste is evident on his face. This isn't how puns should be applied at all, this isn't a devastating surprise strike, this is just unfortunate. At least the snake doesn't seem inclined to come get him, though really, who could be afraid of a hoop snake anyway, certainly Zagreus wasn't. No one saw anyway but a skeleton with bad taste, so.

"I don't have the best history with them. Though I suppose the classification of reptile is arguable. I didn't check. Do you ever feel like life is cyclical? No, that's probably just the hoop snake talking." Sorry, did you want to talk too, Mr. Skeleton? Too bad. "That one's not even big enough to eat me. What a stupid animal. Why are you a skeleton at all?" Zagreus does an admirable job of chattering meaninglessly while casting about for a rock to throw. It's called multitasking, look it up.

Do you ever feel like life is cyclical? Uh, well, now that he's asking, he sure does have an answer for that, not that he's likely to dispense it anytime soon. Bit too on the nasal cavity, that question.

Definitely just the hoop snake talking.

"Guess I was just bone that way," Sans drawls, for his part, watching the entire scene play out with a vague, detached interest. The guy don't seem all that worried, so there's probably no real danger here, just now. Probably. "The name's Sans, by the by. Sans the skeleton."

test drive meme #17

/LOUD BARKING

/plane takeoff sounds

sandstorm by darude begins to play softly

in midi

what, no kazoo

kazoo AND in midi