Test Drive Meme #18

[hadrielmods]

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open March 25th, and apps are open April 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:

1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE 'P' IS SILENT
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

The only warning you get is the flapping of wings above you- leathery and noisy, not unlike a herd of bats, before you are descended upon by a creature with a long, sharp beak, beady eyes, and an appetite for blood. Unfortunately, you've come across a pterobuzzard from Stephen King's The Mist.

Despite the difficult to pronounce name, a pterobuzzards' job here is actually quite simple: to eat. With their large bodies, sharp claws, and savage beak, they can rip chunks of flesh from your body and feast on various entrails after you bleed to death. So that's... fun. Maybe you should run inside, where you could totally be safe, until you realize that one of them has the strength to shatter through a window.

Underground bunker, maybe?]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: VERY VERY EXTRAORDINARY
[Something is different about today. From the time you wake up, to the moment you look in the mirror, to the minute you greet your usually-annoying neighbor who you sort of hate. That difference is... love? Surely not- your cold, dead heart has been... well, cold and dead for an eternity!

And yet, you find yourself forgiving your own past mistakes, overcoming the obstacles that stand in the way between you and your acceptance of yourself and just... letting it be. You're a pretty cool person, you know, and you should appreciate yourself a little more! During this event, you're damn well going to, with some self love and acceptance.

Everyone else is on your Nice list as well, though- maybe you have a friend that you've been crushing on? That's dialed up to eleven, now. Or hey, that stranger has some cute shoes and you love them so much it hurts. All's fair in love and... love.

This is a mini-version of the beginning of our upcoming All you need is love event!]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y

SCENARIO THREE: CLASS IS IN SESSION
[Breathe in, breathe out.

It's a pretty simple concept, but now that you're supposed to be focusing on your breathing, it seems like the most complicated thing in the world. How does breathing help with concentration? Are you breathing the right way? What are you supposed to be thinking about? Do these yoga pants make your butt look cute?

There's too many things to think about and clearing your mind is hard, but the good news is that you're not the only one in Tranquility's yoga class who's having troubles. There's familiar squirming and fidgeting from the people around you who are probably lack just as much chill as you and are having difficulty finding their center.

Whatever that means.

Maybe the person next to you looks just as lost as you are, or maybe their side crane pose is really on point and you want to ask for tips. Either way, whispering is allowed as you contort yourself into human pretzels, so chatter away!]

Comments

[daemonized]

[Ignis is right about that, at least. Ardyn is wearing his usual smug expression, and that should be easily heard in the lilt of his tone, in the amusement he’s garnering from the entirety of this situation. He knows, after all, that despite whatever godly influence must be taking place, the man must have anger simmering under the surface.

He takes a slight, sadistic sort of pleasure in imagining the conflict that stirs within Ignis at this very moment. Even as he follows behind him with steady footsteps, his manner as frustratingly easy as you please.]

A habit of underestimating? I should be offended that you believe that. I give credit where credit is due, and my expectations scale accordingly.

[In the building they go, which does indeed look promising as far as ingredients are concerned.]

You’ll need help gathering ingredients, I assume, and I’m not picky when it comes to a well-prepared meal. Surprise me, and I’ll gladly assist in getting what you need.

[Isn’t he a helpful sort of fellow! (There’s so much faux courtesy that it might as well be sickening.)]

[cookingmama]

[It is sickening. Ardyn is extremely lucky he isn't the kind of monster that would purposely upset his stomach in retaliation. Purposely. It still might happen.]

In that case... If you would be so kind. [Is there any satisfaction in getting the Chancellor to fetch his food for him? Well, at least while good spirits are being shoved down his throat. Ignis spares him a smile, of all things.

He's going to hate himself later.] Canned or otherwise packed luncheon meat, a bag of rice, eggs, cooking oil, and... seaweed, however unlikely it might be here. I hope that isn't too much effort for a man of your status.

[In the meantime, he's going to search for the pans. He hopes to the Six Ardyn doesn't comment on the fact he literally ran into them.]

[daemonized]

[And Ignis is lucky that a stomach ache would rank so low on his list of Shit He’s Been Through that it would be laughably negligible at best. Still, how dare he even entertain the notion? Rude.

The list is committed to memory, and if he’s skeptical of exactly what these are supposed to be ingredients for, Ardyn keeps it to himself. He’s already turning to go and gather everything when he hears the clatter of pans somewhere behind him, near Ignis.

You think he won’t comment? How very wrong.]

And I hope finding the pots and pans without undue difficulty isn’t too much for a man of your skill?

[cookingmama]

Perhaps I should just leave you to find cold Cup Noodles.

[Because he's like, 99% sure this place doesn't have microwaves. Granted, cup noodles were probably going to wind up more appetizing than mystery meat sushi... But that's besides the point. And hey, he'll throw in some toasty rice balls because he's feeling especially kind today.

For the most part, it is without undue difficulty. Ignis stacks pans over each other so he carries them in one arm successfully, if a bit awkward. The last thing he requires is a stove to cook it all on, and while he's capable of finding it himself... he trusts Ardyn about as far as he can throw him, finding everything for the meal. Maybe even less so than he does Gladio.]

I can't imagine the last time someone's been courteous enough to prepare you a meal. [He's feeling Love, and Love is still harsh. Ardyn's a dick.] Or what the Empire's meals taste like.

[daemonized]

[Ardyn huffs out an amused-sounding laugh at that. His voice fluctuates in volume due to distance (in which Ardyn moves across the building here and there, gathering up the odd ingredient or two), but he has no doubt that the words carry and that Ignis can hear him regardless.]

The last time someone's been so polite as to prepare me a meal? [A personal meal, like this one? Prepared with care and consideration? Perhaps he does remember it, or perhaps Ardyn chooses not to.

Still, it was a very, very long time ago.]

I can't remember. It has been an age, I can assure you of that.

[Footsteps, the sound of Ardyn drawing closer now.]

Though don't mistake that admission to mean anything more than what it is. A man grows busy -- a Chancellor, even more so.

[cookingmama]

Oh, yes. I'm very well learned of how many duties you abandoned just to give us... [Even under a higher influence, Ignis has to take a deep breath to sound several degrees less sarcastic than originally intended.] ... the pleasure of your company. It's a shame I didn't prepare a meal before it was revealed to us.

[He doesn't really recall Ardyn eating or sleeping during that trip, come to think of it... But he holds his tongue on that, instead opting to move to the back of the building to distribute the pans and ingredients, alongside a stove that overlooked tables and chairs. It must have been an old restaurant with conviently preserved storage, but enough dust to make the man cough when he wipes the counter.]

You must be terribly bored in a cave, Chancellor. Tell me, have you been keeping yourself entertained like I remember?

[daemonized]

[Ardyn's gathered up the ingredients to the best of his ability, though he's still skeptical as to what exactly Ignis plans on preparing. But, no matter -- one by one, he sets each down on a nearby counter, not terribly far from where Ignis is prepping the pans.]

Are you really concerned about how I keep myself busy here in this cave, Ignis? [Most would take this as another way of saying "none of your business", but the lilt to Ardyn's tone merely conveys underlying mirth.]

If you must know, I've stayed amused in the short time that I've been here. I've kept acquaintance with those friends of yours. Not to mention Noct [what flippant use of a familiar nickname] and dear old King Regis.

[cookingmama]

[Concerned is an understatement for what Ignis must be feeling. He purses his lips, drumming his fingers on the stove as he waited for the next wave of unfortunate patience and understanding.

Seriously, fuck Love. In the time he should be seething, he's calmly cracking an egg over a pan and setting work to arrange the other mysterious ingredients.]

You have had the pleasure of harassing both his Highnesses. You must be overjoyed.

[daemonized]

[Ardyn partly wonders how far he can prod at Ignis' newfound patience. This terrible, laughable influence he's undoubtedly under, courtesy of a goddess. Was there a breaking point? He seriously considers saying something purely for the purpose of instigating anger from the man -- but then the (ex) Chancellor decides against it, a brief moment of silence passing between them in which Ardyn thinks that this is far more enjoyable to watch for now.]

You must think me a very sadistic sort of man. [Um, that's because you are, Ardyn.] For what reason would I find pleasure in "harassing" the royal family?

[That's the million dollar question, isn't it.]

[cookingmama]

[If Ignis could face him to give him a proper look, he would. While only one of them is truly aware of what he's capable of, they both know how terrible Ardyn is. Ignis has to bite his tongue to keep himself from just admitting it.]

The same reasons I cannot ask Lady Lunafreya. [At least he has enough control not to smile after that. There are some things not even Gods can force you to forgive.] I hardly think you would stop there.

[daemonized]

Ah, the dear Oracle. [Ardyn actually has the gall to make a sound of amusement at that. Yes, he supposes that would count towards the "sadistic" category, after all is said and done. Though to be fair, that was an act out of necessity first and foremost. Calculated. Premeditated.

Cruel, honestly.]

I assure you that she wasn't targeted just because I was feeling whimsical. Take solace in the fact that her death served its purpose.

[cookingmama]

[It's a shame Ignis hadn't brought a flask of poison with him, he would think. Though he has the dreadful feeling it wouldn't actually do anything to the man, it would be satisfying to make his meal bitter right about now. Integrity of the food be damned.]

I take solace in the fact what goes around comes around, Chancellor. Lady Lunafreya's purpose might just be to propell you to your end.

[That's not a nice thing to say at all, and he's probably suffering some sort of guilt for it when he's supposed to be forgiving. Whatever. He's focused on carefully arranging these rice balls.]

A shame, really. The things they've said of you provided no small amusement. [Weirdo, creep, you know. He didn't condone them, but he didn't disagree either.]

[daemonized]

[Ardyn's grin becomes a twisted thing at that, and perhaps it's best that Ignis can't see it. To his end. What irony it was, coming a point in the future that none of them had yet to experience. To be brought here after his death was definitely a point of contention with Ardyn, and it's with a fair amount of restraint that he keeps himself from laughing, cold and hollow.

Instead, he drums his fingers on the flat surface of the counter. Quiet, for a moment, before speaking again.]

Oh, and what sort of things were said? It's rude to speak of others behind their backs, you know.

[Of course he responds to the latter half of Ignis' comment, neglecting the bit about karma.]