dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #18

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open March 25th, and apps are open April 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE 'P' IS SILENT
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

The only warning you get is the flapping of wings above you- leathery and noisy, not unlike a herd of bats, before you are descended upon by a creature with a long, sharp beak, beady eyes, and an appetite for blood. Unfortunately, you've come across a pterobuzzard from Stephen King's The Mist.

Despite the difficult to pronounce name, a pterobuzzards' job here is actually quite simple: to eat. With their large bodies, sharp claws, and savage beak, they can rip chunks of flesh from your body and feast on various entrails after you bleed to death. So that's... fun. Maybe you should run inside, where you could totally be safe, until you realize that one of them has the strength to shatter through a window.

Underground bunker, maybe?]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: VERY VERY EXTRAORDINARY
[Something is different about today. From the time you wake up, to the moment you look in the mirror, to the minute you greet your usually-annoying neighbor who you sort of hate. That difference is... love? Surely not- your cold, dead heart has been... well, cold and dead for an eternity!

And yet, you find yourself forgiving your own past mistakes, overcoming the obstacles that stand in the way between you and your acceptance of yourself and just... letting it be. You're a pretty cool person, you know, and you should appreciate yourself a little more! During this event, you're damn well going to, with some self love and acceptance.

Everyone else is on your Nice list as well, though- maybe you have a friend that you've been crushing on? That's dialed up to eleven, now. Or hey, that stranger has some cute shoes and you love them so much it hurts. All's fair in love and... love.

This is a mini-version of the beginning of our upcoming All you need is love event!]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y

SCENARIO THREE: CLASS IS IN SESSION
[Breathe in, breathe out.

It's a pretty simple concept, but now that you're supposed to be focusing on your breathing, it seems like the most complicated thing in the world. How does breathing help with concentration? Are you breathing the right way? What are you supposed to be thinking about? Do these yoga pants make your butt look cute?

There's too many things to think about and clearing your mind is hard, but the good news is that you're not the only one in Tranquility's yoga class who's having troubles. There's familiar squirming and fidgeting from the people around you who are probably lack just as much chill as you and are having difficulty finding their center.

Whatever that means.

Maybe the person next to you looks just as lost as you are, or maybe their side crane pose is really on point and you want to ask for tips. Either way, whispering is allowed as you contort yourself into human pretzels, so chatter away!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe you should go on a diet so you might run faster.

[Not the wisest words for what must be a newbie. Nate wasn't alone in the building he choose, but Jacob hadn't come here with any business of fighting off abominations, and rather than any alarm, he's annoyed at the interruption of his scavenging. Oh well.

They both could do worse. Jacob, at least, can reluctantly stand out of the rubble pull out his really cool gun.] Convince me you're worthy a round of these in that thing.

[Nate whips out his Beretta before maybe even turns into a fully-fledged sentence, too hair-trigger not to consider any new sound as a potential threat. When he realizes it's just another person digging around in the refuse he lowers his gun, keeping it in hand. The guy looks like a mid-19th century painting ran headlong into a steam engine.

Nate glances to the new firearm, unimpressed.]

...no offense, but I've dealt with weird monster crap before and bullets don't usually do the trick.

[As if to corroborate this statement, the animal wedged in the window screeches.]

See? He agrees with me!

[To be fair, he has literally run into a steam engine. Jacob is not the best partner for this situation, and if that weren't already becoming apparent--] Maybe not yours.

[He's already offended. His gun is great, watch as he aims it its big ugly head.] Watch and learn.

[The bullet he ~~wastes~~ fires collides with the beak of the beast... and bounces off, pattering to the floor in a mess. Jacob swallows, as the only thing he succeeded in making it screech louder.]

How do you feel about knives?

[Flatly:]

Wow. Is it supposed to ricochet like that?

[Color him extra sassy today.

Nate would consider himself a pseudo-professional expert in the fringe science-y origins of old legends, if being an "expert" involved observing the uselessness of most weaponry and utilizing the advantages of turning tail. He's trying to break the habit of running away from his problems, but old dogs die hard. Or something like that.]

I'm gonna be honest and tell you that my plan was to walk very quickly in that- [Nate points to the hallway behind Jules Verne's wet dream with his gun, before holstering it.] -direction.

[Jules Verne's wet dream turns as if he's completely forgotten there might be a way out, but no, of course he didn't, that'd be stupid. Because he's old timey and that means he has to be smart. Yeah.]

Turns out honest is the best policy this time around. Who knew?

[Nate's plan is a better plan, and he's shamefully holstering his gun with him before he starts walking very quickly for the hall. There's only a matter of time before that thing figures out it's not making any process in snapping its beak in their general direction.]

This isn't baby's first monster hunt? I could have sworn you just arrived.

I did just get here.

[Consider Nate's honesty a precious gift in these dark times, because he so rarely extends it to people. Rolling with the metaphorical punches is the best he can do with the circumstances, even if he's screaming on the inside.]

But I've seen stuff like this before, sort of. [He ticks off the list as they stride briskly away from the creature.] Nazi zombies, uh, yeti...things, armed soldiers whose heads are on fire-

[The last one doesn't really count, seeing as he was hallucinating at the time, but Renaissance Faire over here doesn't need to know that.]

Guess this is par for my course.

[Jacob... can't pretend he knows half the words that just came out of Nathan's mouth. He didn't mean to look as perplexed as he did, but you have to give the man a break. The closest he's come to even one of those things was a granddaughter being in WW1. He's nowhere near the ballpark.

The closest thing he can grasp is Nate's hallucinations, and at least he's charming enough that Jacob won't question it. Heads on fire? He'll take it.] And here I was, almost starting to believe the worst monster life has to offer is man... Though that's partially because I've tried to forget arriving with three-headed snakes.

[He allows a pause, and he tries to let that first half go. He really does. But he can't not ask, and while he nearly opts for the most awkward explanation—] What is a zombie? [He thankfully goes for the one before it.]

[Put that down as a "win" for first impressions - charming has rarely been at the forefront of people's minds when they meet him.

Nate wouldn't argue with his point, however. People are infinitely worse than monsters, because in his limited experience monsters are at least moderately predictable and people, less so. Katherine Marlowe and Zoran Lazarevic were evidence of that.

Of course, nothing compared to clowns.]

Um. They're like a- I'm not so genre-savvy on the details, but they're people who died and came back and by then they've sort of lost what made them human, so they try to eat you.

Test Drive Meme #18

you're lucky i haven't finished the game so rafe can be a dick

you misspelled *eat a dick :)

only when your brother's around ;)

file that under Shit I'll Pretend I Didn't Hear

there's no denying the truth nate

what is truth to a guy who literally reinvented his identity when he was 12

tbh fair enough

no subject