dankmemes | test drive meme #19

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!test drive

test drive meme #19

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open April 24th, and apps are open May 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: WHAT A FUNGI
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There you are, walking along, minding your own business, when you come upon a strange... something buried in the ground. No sooner have you noticed it then it pops out, ready to attack. This time, the Door has brought in some Mushbooms, from the Secret of Mana video game.

Mushbooms are large mushroom-shaped creatures that seem to be quite upset that you've infringed upon their territory - though who knew it was their territory to begin with? They attack unpredictably, dancing around before lashing out, and if you're not careful they might just hit you with sleeping powder. But who doesn't need a little nap sometimes?]

S O R R O W

SCENARIO TWO: SHALL WE DANCE?
[You received your invitation - now it's time to attend. Yes, it's the night of Sorrow's masquerade, and surely you're coming prepared. You've found an outfit in the shops, and maybe even a matching mask. You've learned the steps to a dance or two, or maybe you're counting on your partner teaching you.

What will you do, now that you're at the masquerade? Will you enjoy the delicate refreshments on the tables to the side, stuffing your face to avoid making eye contact? Will you make like a wallflower and watch people dance, hoping to be asked yourself? Or maybe you're the brave type, and you'll walk right up to a lovely person and ask them out on the floor. Whatever you do, the night is young - there'll be time for plenty more.

This is a mini version of the last day of our Seven Days of Hadriel event this month!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: NEW PHONE WHO DIS
[So you called your friend - you're sure you did. You opened up your phone, hit their name in your contacts list, and started chatting. Maybe you have something important to say, maybe you just wanted to shoot the shit. Only - somehow, it's not your friend. It might be a different friend, a perfect stranger, or even someone you hate. Let's hope they speak up before you say something too embarrassing, right?

Or you might be the one getting the call. You answered the phone, and someone started talking as if they knew you - as if you're a close personal friend of theirs. But who the hell is this, anyway? What are you going to do, speak up or let them keep rambling on about their latest fight with their best friend? You might even recognize their voice - wait, did they just call you sweetie? Oh shit, they definitely think they called their boyfriend. Wow, this is awkward.

The longer you wait to speak up the weirder it'll be. Unless, of course, you have no sense of shame at all and are happy to let them make a fool of themselves.]

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You bet I am!

[To the left! Take it back now y'all! One hop this time!

Okay, now it's the Electric Slide.]

What, aren't you gonna dance? It's a dance party, Taako!

[Never mind that it's a masquerade, and in a masquerade you dance with a partner. Nope. Magnus goes it alone. But if Taako wants to dance with him, he'd have no objections.

In fact, he starts to dance around Taako, lifting an eyebrow as if to say, What, too embarrassed?]

[He rolls his eyes, but it doesn't have the normal force behind it that it would if he was really going to slam him.]

I dunno man, you seem to be doing enough dancing for like, everybody here. Besides, I bet this place can't handle my sweet moves.

[Does Taako know how to dance? He'll certainly have you convinced he does!]

Isn't this kinda stuff about partners and whatever anyway?

So what? There's no law that you can only dance with romantic partners. Come on, what's one dance between good buds?

[You know what, say what you will about Magnus' other dance moves, but he really can execute a perfect nae nae. His stanky leg leaves a lot to be desired, though.]

Besides! No one knows it's us! It's just I'Morko and the Mongoose, cuttin' a rug, showin' up everybody in the grand ball!

[He lets out an ugly snort, but the smile is genuine.]

Yeah, yeah, keep it in big guy. Step back and watch the magic.

[Will he ever use prestidigitation for anything other than sparks and bullshit? Probably not. He's not a bad solo dancer but they definitely look like absolute dorks.]

Everybody here is gonna be mega-jealous they didn't get out here first, cuz now it's ruined. We stole the dancefloor. Done.

[Magnus could probably manage some kind of facsimile of a waltz, or at least just a hold-n-sway, but he's really more interested in doing the Soulja Boy near Taako and calling it done. Magnus is a lot of things, but he is not a flirt.]

Everyone knows the coolest people at the dance are the first ones out on the floor. We basically just invented dance for these people. The town priest was like, "Thou shalt not get down," but we did it anyway. We got down so good that everyone, uh, threw the priest in the well? I forget how Footloose ended, you usually remember the... Kevin Bacon dancing part.

Anyway, that priest wasn't invited.

[Listen, the Soulja Boy is better with people and if you think Taako can't jump in heels you'd be dead wrong.]

Not even close to invited, my man, we are crushin' it. Everybody has to follow this now, and you know what? They can't, because we've just, we've just lit the dance floor on fuckin' fire. Ruined it for everybody. They're gonna have to grovel at our feet now because we just hit dancing godhood.

[Okay, yeah, this is way better than the hold-n-sway. Magnus is pretty sure everyone looks embarrassed to be near them, and he'd probably be correct, but he is entirely convinced it's because they are so cool right now that everyone else feels like a downright fool.

Remember Ciara's 1-2-Step? Magnus can't do that any more than he can do any other dance move.]

And now the priest worships us! Tomorrow on The Guardian, front page news, "Town Priest Steps Down In Shame: How two rowdy boys reinvented the groove."

[Taako realizes that, if it was anyone except for him, this would look incredibly stupid, but because it's him, it's fucking flawless. He's killin' it. Everyone in his presence is also therefore killin' it. No one in existence has ever seen something so. fuckin'. flawless.]

Exactly. Like, we're gaining a new congregation of people who just keep, uhm, seein' us go and can't get enough. We just sacked the whole pantheon open. It rules. They're gonna be talkin' about this, uh, forever, my guy.

[Magnus can't help it -- he laughs at that. Between how ridiculous they look, and how much they're playing up their talent, he has to take a minute.]

Taako, I-- [Okay, okay, stop giggling.] I'm just really glad you're here too. It would've really fucking sucked to wake up naked in a cave without either of you guys. Even if I did basically just start someone else's party for them.

[He smiles, and it's real. It's sappy, but Magnus is right- he wouldn't want to be here alone, and having effectively your best friend by your side isn't a terrible place to be.

God, he's glad Magnus can't hear this dialogue. Way too soul-bearing.]

Yeah, yeah, you can't get along without me, I get it. You'd have been pretty shit out of luck showing up here naked without ol' Taako- and hey, who wouldn't? Just my luck I gotta follow you wherever you charge, but uh, I guess I don't mind it so much.

Besides, we were invited, so it's our party now, sucka.

[Those are the rules that he just made up. Right now.]

[Magnus nudges Taako's shoulder with his own, playfully, grinning at him.]

I mean, I'd probably be fine. No one really needs a wizard, they just make our team look cooler when we steal the party. All that precigid... precidigida... precidigitable-ation for effect. Holy shit, that word is hard to say.

[He rolls his eyes hard enough that he's certain Magnus can see it through the mask, but he's still smiling, so there's only so much he can get away with here.]

Prestidigitation, baby. And I'm the best there is at making anything look good.

[He strikes the perfect pose just for effect. It's glamorous as hell.]

You do the swingin', I'll do the showin', it'll all work out.

[He laughs again.]

Yeah, see, that's why I leave the magic to you and Merle. I don't need any fancy words to hit something. And Merle's not here, so you gotta do twice as much showin' off as you usually do to make up for it, alright?

[Taako quirks an eyebrow. Now he's just doing it to be, like, entirely overdramatic.]

Oh jeez I dunno how I'm gonna manage that, how, uh, how could the best and most attractive wizard in this whole cave possibly do twice as much? That's so much on my plate, Magnus. So much responsibility.

[Magnus folds his arms, hiding his smile.]

Yeah, I dunno, sounds like you have your work cut out for you. And I know how you hate hard work.

Ugh, so much.

[He puts a hand to his forehead in a fake swoon and leans against Magnus' bicep. C'mon. Dip him. You know you wanna.]

Oh wait, no, I know exactly what I'm gonna do, because I'm amazing. It's called blow everybody's fuckin' MINDS, that's how!

[Can't get him down that easily. In fact, hell, he'll burn a spell slot on this, firing off three magic missles towards the ceiling which explode in a shower of sparks halfway up as he laughs. It's scaring at least half the crowd and he does not even give half a fuck.]

TAAKO!

[Nevermind that they were definitely not even couples dancing, Magnus can read his friend and he knows he wants that good creamy dip. So dip him, he shall.

It obviously doesn't last that long before Taako decides he really wants to show off. Magnus watches the sparks fly and just instantly belly-laughs, still in the middle of an awkward dance move and getting caught off guard enough that he falls right on his tushie laughing.

Between laughter, he imitates a crowd cheering for Taako.]

Woo! Yeah! Taako!

[Bless. Magnus knows what he wants and is in on giving it to him. There's something about working together with someone for a year that puts you in tandem with one another, and Taako has to beat those feelings down a little in his own head before he starts getting ultra mushy.]

There we go! Crowd's goin' wild!

[He strikes a pose. He's still wearing the fucking mongoose mask. This is stupid.]

See, Mag, you know. You know exactly what's up. How to set up a scene.

Heh, I think I just know you.

[Magnus is plenty familiar with the kind of stuff that makes Taako happy by now. A silly dance and some showing off at a masquerade is kind of up his alley, even if he needs help realizing it.

Too bad about Merle. Magnus' expression softens a bit as he's hit with a sudden quasi-guilt for having fun without both of his friends.]

[Taako can almost feel himself blush before he shoves it down. That's... mushy, at best.]

Jeez, Magnus, you wanna heap a bunch more emotional mush on top of that or are you just gonna drown me in it?

[Let's play ttttttthat one off.]

I'll accept more compliments about how cool I am any day, though. Just saying. And I mean, we've, uh, we've been through a lot, and... heh. Probably would've taken a lot more hits if you weren't there.

I've got plenty more mush where that came from!

[He suddenly jumps Taako and starts ruffling his mongoose mask's head, trying to muss up Taako's hair underneath.]

Acceeeeeept myyyyy muuuuuuuuuuush!!!!

[Taako, despite himself, lets out the most undignified squawk as Magnus comes down hard, pushing his head up ineffectively as he gets ambushed.]

Oh my god, don't put your full weight on me, I'll die, you weigh like six thousand pounds, you're gonna crush my bones--

[He's laughing through his words, so Magnus can probably tell he's not at all serious, even if he's looking less dignified and more into 'tangle of limbs' scenario.]

It's the way you would've wanted to go. Crushed by love.

[But he does finally release Taako, with one last noogie of the mongoose mask.]

Trust me Magnus, if my death was 'crushed by boys', I can think of a couple I'd rather be under.

[He adjusts his mask like he's standing all dignified, as if his hair isn't a mess and they haven't already made utter fools of themselves.]

Whatever. You're ridiculous.

Ouch, geez. Is it the sideburns?

[He brushes at where they would be, through his mask, with his fingers.]

I always thought my sideburns were, like, just part of my unique blend of roguish and handsome.

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pocketspa - 2017-05-29 22:55 (UTC) - Expand

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test drive meme #19

akjnrkfd you cant escape nude magnus

i'm saving it for the intro log. the nudening

omg im sorry i didnt realize or i wouldve tagged you with smth else ksjdfnmk

NO I DON'T MIND DOING IT TWICE IT'S FUNNY AS HELL AND STILL WILL BE

OK GOOD!!! KDJNFG

never gonna get enough of magnus' bare ass

magnus: he strips for the good of the people

a true legend, a continued naked inspiration

i live, i die, hes born again

wang flyin in the wind. a disaster among men

hey at least he makes an entrance

i mean yeah that's fuckin unforgettable

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