dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Entry tags:

!test drive

Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ fear ]

[Okay. So, this is clearly the most ridiculous, most vivid dream Elena's had in a while. She hadn't meant to fall asleep at all; after hanging up with Nate, she'd made up her mind to do a little digging on the computer, but it had been late, New Orleans time. She must have fallen asleep, which is why she fins herself god-knows-where staring at god-knows-what. Honestly, it looks like something out of a bad video game. Aaaaand it's getting a little too close.]

Hey! Back off!

[Bam. Pow. She punches the creature in its face, or what's her best guess is its face, and a jolt of fear hits her, because it felt very solid when she hit it. Not much like a dream at all.]

Oh shit.

[ ~~no shirt~~ no shoes no service ]

[So, this isn't a dream. So, she was somehow taken from her own house and brought wherever this is. Elena's read the message, she gets the idea (even if it doesn't make sense, she's willing to go with it for now rather than lie to herself that this is all fake.

But she's still pretty pissed that whatever power brought her here did so while she had bare feet. Once she's away from the monster and out of the arena, Elena goes right up to the first person she sees.]

Hey, any idea where a lady can get some shoes? My toes are freezing.

[Who the fuck--

Rita gives Elena an unfriendly smile.]

I don't work here. [Does she look like she does ffs.] Try one of the "shops" here and let me know if you find hair dye. Or go soak in the hot springs.

[Show a little skin and some poor shmuck is bound to do anything for you.]

Edited (a typo) 2017-07-21 18:05 (UTC)

[Yeaaaaah, she knows that kind of smile. The corners of the mouth go up, but it doesn't reach the eyes.]

I didn't think you did. But I was hoping for directions so I don't have to go without them longer than necessary.

[She'll step on something dangerous. Or gross.]

Hot springs can wait.

[ Sorry, Elena, it's not a dream. Drake's on his way to the colosseum to see if there are any stragglers that need help, and runs into her on her way out. Shoes? Sure, no problem. ]

Yeah, the shops are that way. You might not want to go in barefoot, though, a bunch of places have broken glass and shit. Kinda wrecked.

...what size are you?

I don't have much choice.

[Seeing as she left her shoes back home, and she's pretty sure there's no fast route back.]

Seven and a half, usually? Depends on the shoe style. I just want something on my feet, they can be Crocs for all I care.

Come on, I'll go in and find you something.

[ Its not far out of the way and shouldn't take him long. Drake turns to lead the woman to the shops, making sure the path ahead of them is clear for her to walk. If she couldn't tell before, he's got a rifle strapped to his back. ]

Were there many people left in there?

Thanks.

[Elena's not so unwary that she immediately trusts a seemingly-friendly stranger in a strange land, but commercial streets aren't exactly dark alleys, and she does need shoes. Also, if he wanted to hurt her, he could just pull out the rifle.]

Not that I saw. Do people usually show up in groups? How many?

It's nothing.

[ Drake thinks back to when he arrived, to the crowd in the colosseum, to how disorienting and frightening it was. The least he can do is help this woman find shoes, for chrissakes. ]

There were twenty of us when I showed up. I think that's about normal?

So kidnapping is a group activity around here? Assuming I'm right about this not being a dream or hallucination.

[Having one of those as a group would be pretty weird, too. Because everything about this is weird and nothing is normal.]

[He almost thinks he's imagining it, when he sees her in the Coliseum.

This place has been a fucking meat grinder since he arrived, the helpless and unwilling pushed into a funnel and subjected to monsters, hallucinations, ghosts. No sun in the sky but bio-luminescent light, no sky but a gnarled and craggy ceiling stretching over a mile high. Jules Verne would shit himself and book it for the nearest Icelandic volcano if he knew it really existed.

Point being, the sheer presence of an environment like this is more impossible than the impossibilities he's actively seen in his world, so a familiar figure in a soft, worn shirt and bare feet registers so distantly and belatedly that he almost gives himself whiplash with his double-take.

Can't mistake that right hook for anyone else.]

Elena!

[He hits the ground running, wishing he hadn't left his gun in the apartment, wishing he had more ammo to justify bringing the gun in the first place.]

Edited 2017-07-21 20:23 (UTC)

[It would never have occurred to her to look for Nate, even later on, once she was away from the freaky monster punch-fight. The arrival of assistance would be (is) welcome, but even coming from some distance away, she knows that voice as well as her own, and it distracts her completely.

Her head whips around, eyes wide.

Nate?!

[He shouldn't be here. He's in—well, he's supposed to be in Malaysia. But he definitely wasn't home with her, so what are the odds that they'd both be here now?

For a split second, she reconsiders the possibility that this is a dream, but then there's quick movement in her peripheral vision and she's only got enough time to dodge the creature, twisting her ankle a little with the awkward lunge. Not her finest moment in a fight.]

[She shouldn't be here. She's supposed to be at home, in New Orleans, writing about Bangkok and eating leftovers from that Ghanaian place on Royal Street. Safe.
Not stuck in cave purgatory like the rest of them.

His heart takes a goddamn leap into his throat because the last time he saw Elena she was giving him that small, tight smile and loosening her grip in his hand and slipping away. Falling. It doesn't matter that it was Hadriel screwing with him, that she wasn't real. It felt real.

The way she twists to avoid contact with that thing and promptly grimaces seems pretty real too, and Nate swallows his relief to push himself faster. The creature with leathery wings is already honing in on her.]

Duck!

[In a move that would probably look badass if he wasn't functioning in such a blind panic, Nate takes a flying leap off a big chunk of nearby rubble and slams into the monster with his entire weight, tackling it to the ground. As it rolls over him one of its limbs digs into his sternum and knocks the wind out of him before it slides into a rock two yards away, motionless.]

Ow, Jesus.

[It doesn't matter that he shouldn't be here, that none of this makes sense—Elena knows that tone, she trusts him, so she ducks. Luckily, she doesn't twist another other ankle this time.

The duck is even more awkward than the dodge, but that's okay, because her husband is somehow flying through the air to take the monster down. What the hell. It does look a little badass, but she's more concerned with how winded he looks, a sitting duck if that thing wasn't knocked out. She winds up, ready to give it a good kick—

Okay, no. That's stupid. She's not wearing any shoes. Elena picks up a rock and smashes that against the monster's head just to be really sure it won't get back up, then dashes to Nate's side, trying to help him sit up.]

Are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up? [Zero, actually.] Nate, how the hell are you here?

I'm good-

[He grits, a hand resting over his solar plexus. Nate feels an arm slide around his shoulders, pulling him up, and he follows the direction as best he can until he's hunched over bent knees with bare feet at his side. She must have been on the sofa, or cooking. He can almost smell the scented laundry detergent they use on her shirt.

The pain subsides about as quickly as it usually does and it only takes him another couple of moments before he can breathe deep again, casting a wary glance at the disjointed animal with a rock lodged in its skull. At least it won't be bothering them any time soon.

Almost tentatively his gaze wanders back to Elena, jumping from the weave of her jeans to the concern etched into her slight frown. Nate gives her a crooked smile, suppressing the increasingly violent need to clutch her to his chest.]

Hey, honey.

[For a moment, she just gapes at him. Somehow, they've both been brought to god knows where, a place with monsters, and he can't tell her if he's seeing double or how they can both be here or anything. "Hey, honey." That's it. The big jerk.

She can't help but give him a crooked smile back.]

Hey, cowboy.

[She breathes out a little laugh and reaches out to touch his face with her other hand because she's suddenly so relieved that he's here. That she isn't in this utterly unfamiliar place alone.]

[It feels like someone's shoved their hand through his rib cage and squeezed his lungs. Like a sickeningly tight wire inside him has snapped and everything just wants to sag into the arm around him, like that first deep drink of water after a day in the desert.

Nate huffs a laugh in return and tries not to look so obvious about how much he really needs that hand on his cheek.]

'Bout time you showed up.

[Shifting in place, he begins the process of getting to his feet and wishing Hadriel had health insurance. Already he can hear more of those things screeching, not too far away. A man tries to have A Moment with his wife and this is what he gets.]

I'll, uh. Give you the nickel tour once we get out of here.

[It's not just seeing him here when she'd thought she was alone. Elena's missed him enough these past couple of weeks that Nate showing up out of the blue would be a wonderful thing under any circumstances, especially when he's looking at her like that.

But it's not the time. The not-so-distant screeching doesn't freak her out, but it does mean it's time to get up and go. Somewhere. Good thing the twisted ankle was just a painful tweak and not a serious sprain.]

Wait, what?

[She gives him a look once they're on their feet. He's talking like he knows this place, but that can't be right.]

How can you give me a tour? Did you look at a map and instantly memorize it or something?

[She doesn't know how long he's been here.

Someone else explained the mechanics to him a little while ago, how time passes differently, how when he returns to his world he'll arrive at the exact moment he left. For him, it's been months. How is he supposed to catch her up?]

Uhhhhh that's a little more complicated.

[In fairness, memorizing the map was exactly what he did when he showed up, even if he's now the one updating the damn thing.]

How're your feet? Want me to carry you?

[She opens her mouth to tell him that it can't be that complicated, and maybe it isn't—but another monster screech, a little closer this time, reminds her that it definitely is about to be bitey if they don't move.]

Not really.

[She'd much rather be on her own two feet, not dependent on someone else to get around, no matter how much she trusts Nate to have her back. But this already isn't the safest place for pedestrians, and he seems familiar with it somehow.]

Unless the way out takes us through gravel or broken glass or something. Then yes, definitely.

[The ground outside the Coliseum isn't exactly post-apocalyptic, but neither is it really that clean. Arbitrary debris is kind of the decor of choice around these parts. They've got enough time for her own decision-making before anything else comes clawing its way around a corner.

Nate extend his arms.]

Piggyback, or fancy-style?

[He may be prolonging the inevitable explanations a bit just to get his thoughts together.]

[She's really going to need some shoes ASAP if being carried is the best option. One more reason to be glad he's here, though it doesn't even make the top ten.]

Tough decision. If you gave me a piggyback ride, I could still be the navigator and use your ears to steer.

[It'd be a better vantage point, too. But Elena steps into his arms instead. It's not just the appeal of a fancy lift; she just really wants to hug him before they go anywhere.]

Ha ha, cute.

[He's .2 seconds away from turning around and bending at the knees so Elena can mount her noble steed when she steps into his orbit instead and he feels his arms close around her before he can think about it. She's small - how could he forget she only really comes up to his shoulder? - and warm, smells like the heat of Louisiana humidity, and Nate squeezes her tightly in the vain hope that she won't feel him shaking.

He hadn't lost her, but it felt pretty damn close.]

I missed you.

[Nate manages to say it without falling apart, even knowing she won't understand it until he puts things in context.]

You can't have missed me that much. You just got off the phone with me an hour ago.

[And he'd lied to her during that call. And she'd known it. Elena pushes that thought away, refuses to let it gain traction because they've got much bigger concerns right now.

Besides, it's not true anyway. Even if they'd just talked, he hadn't been with her. She buries her face in the crook of his neck and is faintly surprised that he's trembling.]

I missed you too.

[Frantically, he tries to think back to the Post-It notes trapped in the pages of his sketchbook. Card numbers, minutes used. International travel is always easier with a burner phone but he's fond of his own and can't remember when he last called her. Italy? Well after midnight, so it was around dinner time in the States. Service is lousy, he'd lied.

Nate squeezes her a little tighter.]

C'mon.

[He loosens his grasp and stoops then, enough to scoop her up, and it doesn't escape him that she's the second person he's carried away from this shitshow in as many months. The act would probably be a lot more romantic if he wasn't desperately trying to keep it together.]

Let's get outta here.

All right, all right.

[She doesn't know where they're going, but it has to be better thana n coliseum with a bunch of monsters. Elena lets him scoop her up, draping one arm loosely around his neck, and hides a smile despite herself. It's like she's a bride being carried over a threshold, not that he ever did that when they really were newlyweds.

With the job of choosing their path left to Nate, she's free to scan the landscape, but a few seconds later her gaze lands back on his face.]

You didn't answer my question.

Elena Fisher | Uncharted

no shoes no service no fucks given, i am sorry for rita in advance

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a different drake than the one she's used to

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BATTLE COUPLE

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