dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Who said anything about you letting me kick your ass? It's gonna happen, K. You may as well just accept it.

[He drops like half the bag into a mixing bowl (yes, the one that's already dirty, listen there's no time for dishes!!) and heads to the fridge for eggs and all that other cake stuff.]

[Is he serious?

Whatever. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Kyna takes the salt from her station and dumps as much into his bowl as possible without being too obvious.]

[YOU DICK. Unfortunately for Harlan, he doesn't see that. He spends a moment rummaging, and then returns to his station with a whole thing of eggs, a cup of milk, and like four sticks of butter. He dumps it all into the bowl and starts mixing.]

What, you're giving up?

[Kyna's goal has shifted from "win" to "make Harlan lose", so she just raises her eyebrows and shakes her head.]

Get to it, Buddy Valastro.

Am I supposed to know who that is?

The fucking Cake Boss? Are you serious?

[He throws up his hands.] Do I look like a guy that knows what a cake boss is?

[Whatever!! He's dumping his mixture into a pan and firing up the oven again. He's gonna win.]

[Kyna will just wait quietly, arms still crossed, for him to finish. He's totally going down with her.]

[He rolls his eyes at her. Fine. He slams the thing into the oven and returns to his counter perch, noting the time on his watch.]

So, what are you going to do when you win? Rub it in everyone's face?

Obviously. What else would winning be good for?

Teaching you not to be a dick. Is that asking too much?

Why would winning teach me anything? I already know I'm the best. Learning shit is for losers.

[She scoffs.]

Yeah, right. You wish you were the best. What are you even the best at?

Between the two of us? Shit, almost everything.

[He glances at his watch. Ugh, still another few minutes before this thing is done. Cake-baking is so tedious.]

Bullshit. I want a list.

[No you don't, Kyna.]

[Harlan tsks and folds his arms. He's not being dramatic, you are.]

No, you don't. Every time you ask for a list, you get pissed off at me for giving you a list. I'm not falling into that shit again.

I get pissed because you make shit up. Give it to me.

What? No, I don't. When have I ever made shit up?

Just now when you said you're better than me at everything.

That wasn't making shit up. It was an exaggeration for emphasis. Besides, name one thing you're better at than me. Objectively.

[She shrugs, then crosses her arms.]

Magic.

[Of course she would go there. In the interest of playing nice, he won't retaliate with a "lmao nah tho."

That said, her statement still doesn't meet the criteria. Try again, K.]

I said objectively.

Okay, objectively. Picking out cat names.

[That's also not objectively, but judging by the way she's smiling, she's fucking with him.]

[OKAY BUT CAT NAMES ARE NO LAUGHING MATTER.]

John Frusciante was named after the greatest guitarist of all time. Your cat was named after a fucking cheese. And not even a good cheese.

(no subject)

evocation - 2017-07-24 06:33 (UTC) - Expand

ghostlocked - 2017-07-24 06:59 (UTC) - Expand