dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Son, where I come from these sorts of things? [He gestures at the monster] They only exist in children's video games or movies.

[He straightens, looking amused]

So I don't know if 'sheltered' is the right word, or if 'at a geographical disadvantage due to living in a world without magical beasts' might be more accurate.

[Harlan makes a face. Don't you "son" him, old man. He's scoffing at the garbage about "children's" shit, too.

...Eh. Then again, these monsters are pretty silly compared to the harpies and dragons that he's used to. But still!!]

Why'd they scare you if they're just kid stuff?

[Jack arches a dark brow quizzically]

I've found that stupid questions don't get a man very far in life.

[He then nods in the direction of the monster]

When its on a tv screen its no concern of mine. But that thing there is not currently inside of a television, is it? And as such it is now my concern.

[wOW Harlan likes this dude way less. This is the thanks he gets for saving his life???]

Whatever. Sounds like an excuse to me. Where I come from, we have way bigger problems then these jackasses. You're the one that can't defend yourself.

Now you are conflating two different issues.

[He straightens, unperturbed by whether or not Harlan likes him]

You are working from some notion that a person from a world without beasts like these should somehow be preemptively equipped to fight them despite, again, the fact that such things do not exist in their reality. And if you follow that logic to its end you'll find that that is not really a workable notion.

[He cants his head to the side]

So it is all well and good that in your world you have been prepared for such encounters but that fact has no bearing on my own reality and does not presume that I have some obligation to know how to fight something I never would have encountered outside of these peculiar circumstances.

[Harlan's eyes glaze over as this dude gives him an earful. He figured this was about to get boring at the word "notion" and wow, he was not wrong.]

Doesn't change the fact that you're defenseless and I'm not. [He conjures a little flame in his palm and runs it through his fingers. Yeah okay, it's a harmless cantrip, but clearly Jack's not gonna know that. May as well punctuate his point with some flair.]

So, from where I'm standing, that means you should be nicer to me. I could just let it eat you. [He snuffs out the flame and jerks a thumb toward the monster.]

[Ah. Now the kid is playing hardball. Jack narrows an eye at the flame before frowning and giving another shrug]

Be my guest.

[...Hm. Unexpected. Harlan frowns.]

Seriously? You're content to tell an ally to fuck off, just like that? [He snorts.] Hope you brought a gun or something, pal.

No

[Jack smiles]

You seemed more honorable than the kind of snake who'd kill an old man just for being ornery. And if I had been wrong about that, it wouldn't have mattered would it? Because I would most certainly be dead already.

[Fuck. Okay, well played.]

I wouldn't be killing you. Just not wasting my time protecting someone that isn't appreciative.

[He sighs then, raising a hand in appeasement]

You are right. I have been unfair to you and I apologize for my ingratitude. Thank you for saving my life.

[Harlan raises an eyebrow and plants a hand on his hip. Cool, but sounds fake.]

No problem. Like I said, these guys are small fries. You should try to find a weapon or something.

Well do you know where I can get my hands on a gun?

[Oh. Uh. No idea, actually. It's not like Harlan has any use for one, ergo this knowledge is pointless. Better play it off like that's a dumb idea.]

You really think they'd have guns here? Easily accessible guns?

Test Drive Meme #22

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