dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh–

(Lucretia is still staring at the monster when he speaks. The sudden voice at her elbow makes her startle, hand jerking: she draws a wonky line right through her sketch. Thankfully the voice is instantly recognisable, as she'd been about to ready a spell.)

Merle, (she says, relieved, and looks down at him, raising her arms.) I think I've mentioned that...

(Her voice trails away, nose scrunching in confusion. It's definitely Merle, but he looks noticeably different: older, eyepatched. One arm is entirely wooden?? It's disarming enough to take her mind off the monsters altogether.)

Yeah, I mean, you probably did. Some people can just think of everything.

[ He's pulling a sort of half-tiptoe move to secure a better look at those drawings. ]

Those look good, kid! I like that line. Artistic liberties and shit. [ merle it's literally your fault. ] We can get into that when we're out of the zoo that Pan forgot, though. Assuming we live.

(She's still looking at him oddly even as he barrels through her awkwardness without acknowledging it, but eventually she relaxes. Honestly, it's probably got something to do with the strange monsters and the absence of the others. A... strange dream, perhaps.)

Sure, (she says absentmindedly, and glances down at the jagged line through her sketch. She adds two round dots near the top to make it look like an unimpressed :/ face, which is fitting, because it's how she feels about this whole situation.)

I think it's safe to assume that we live, though. I've been standing here for five minutes now and they've not much more than looked at me. Though I can't say I'm particularly fond of that either, so I'm fine to mosey.

That's what I like to hear! Get outta this mess and into the bigger mess.

[ Look. He would frame that drawing and put it on his wall, without hesitation. Merle sets off, mostly just glad that Lucretia's not all super-engrossed and refusing to budge this time. ]

So, where'd you blow in from? Gotta be past the mushroom planet. If you haven't even hit mushroom planet, we're pretty much boned.

That seems recalcitrant, (Lucretia calls, but hurriedly falls into step beside him all the same, casting a nervous little look over her shoulder at the monsters. Thankfully, they don't appear to be following.)

Sorry– what? (None of this makes any sense! Her brain feels like it's working overtime to try and understand.)

I'm, um. I mean, we just left Tesseralia.

Tesseralia... tesse, tessa...

[ Merle doesn't know what recalcitrant is, so he ignores it for the time being. It takes him a second to get with it on the world's name. It's been a while but he knows that was a big one, but why was that again?

Oh wait holy crap, right. That is. Pretty damn far back there, isn't it? Not that that's a bad thing, and at least she didn't come in right from animal planet. ]

Oh! Right, Tesseralia! I was trying to remember leaving that one, that's where I got messed up. [ First time he met John. He missed the finer points of taking off. ] Nice place! Great food. Probably not the best parley anyone's ever seen though, huh?

You know... (Lucretia finds herself saying, as she watches him struggle with his memory. At least this, of all things, is familiar– but he beats her to the punch before she has to fully explain herself.

Thankfully, this gives her time to think very hard about what he's saying. So he is from the future then, and– possibly from a time out of the cycles. His physical appearance is different, after all. This is a very startling thought, and she actually stops in place to stare at him.)

Um, yes. How many parley have you... have you done?

Weeeeeell.

[ Should he actually try to be delicate about this? Should he try lying? The cat's out of the bag on a few things already, but maybe there's a damage control option until they can get the whole gang together. Work everything out. ]

I'll shoot straight, Lucretia, no Zone of Truth necessary-- I'm pretty far ahead of ya on that count. Me and John go way back now. He turned out to be an asshole so I stopped hanging out with him, uh. Fifty-something parleys in? I mean, I'm... gosh, I don't even know exactly how far out. Time's a little screwy with that, that door thing back there. Not that there's anything wrong with being behind!

[ Except for everything, objectively, but he isn't dwelling on it. ]

Test Drive Meme #22

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