dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Entry tags:

!test drive

Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Taako!

[ If he were in the right frame of mind, Angus would have noticed that this flashy-looking elf has slightly different body language than the one he knows; she holds herself a bit differently, and is... well, a she. Instead, he's so relieved to see a familiar face that he just lights up behind those dorky glasses, and starts running for Lup. ]

I'm so glad to see you, sir! Well, not glad to see you here since it seems pretty awful, but glad to see you in general! I was hoping to get further away from it before using any bigger spells, I thought that distance might be better for something... long... range...

[ As he gets closer, Angus slows to a stop and frowns, one hand reaching across his chest to hold his bracer, where the creature's teeth had scraped against the metal and torn up his shirtsleeve. Up close, it's easy to see that there's been a mistake. ]

... Oh. Um. I'm sorry, ma'am, I... Oh boy, this is awkward.

[It's kind of cute. Lup's not sure if she's ever seen anyone light up that way at the sight of her brother before. Usually Taako entering a room was proceeded with protesting groans or people just getting up and leaving. So, it's very sweet to see anyone so gosh dang excited to see him. Unexpected, sure, but still sweet.

As Angus crosses the short distance between them, Lup just waves away his apology, like it's a bad smell she wants nowhere near her.]

No sweat, kid. It's an easy mistake to make. But, for future reference--[She points up at herself and grins.] I'm the hotter twin. Natch.

I don't think I'm in any position to judge, Ma'am, and I can't really call you that as a name, because that would be super weird.

[ Lup gets a long, analytical stare, like he's studying her from the ground up. It's the same kind of look that Angus uses on potential suspects, or just on people that he hasn't figured out yet. The family resemblance is obvious, and they even have some of the same physical mannerisms, and he knows Taako isn't exactly forthcoming about his past, but... ]

... He's never mentioned a sister, before.

Lup, then. Just call me Lup.

[It's almost funny how sharply those words sting. Taako hasn't told her everything yet--though Lup's patience may be running a little thin after this particular encounter--but she knows enough about how his memories of her had been wiped for nearly ten years. So, yeah, naturally he hadn't been chatting about her to little kids he'd run into along the way. But it still hurts to be forgotten.

Lup, however, just shrugs. Casual and aloof and seemingly out of fucks to give. She's fine. Everything's fine.]

That's 'cause he likes to keep me a surprise. You know, for maximum pranking. Nothing really beats pulling a whole twin out of nowhere to your friends.

[ Later on, once he writes down her name and makes the connection between it and the L-U-P scorched into the wall of the Bureau's cafeteria, Angus's mind will be completely blown. For now, though, he's too rattled by the whole suddenly-in-a-cave-with-freaky-melondogs thing to remember the mystery in progress back on the moonbase. ]

That's some impressive dedication to a very elaborate goof, Ma'am.

[ He doesn't sound convinced, but he has a feeling that he may have hit a nerve, and all good detectives know when to err on the side of tact. ]

Are freaky watermelon dogs with human hands a regular occurrence around here?

You do know my brother, right? [However she may be feeling, Lup's head tips to the side and she grins down at Angus. The curve of her mouth is all predatory and sharp, but her eyes light up in genuine amusement. Getting to drag her brother always makes her feel at least a little better.] Everything for the goof.

[Their lives kind of feel like giant goofs at this point, honestly.]

Probably. [Lup shrugs. It wouldn't be the weirdest thing she'd heard come from Hadriel, though it would win for weirdest looking by far. Before she can really think further on that though, the weird dog/fruit hybird comes scrambling back, this time with two much bigger watermelon dogs skittering along it. Lup's brows rise curiously, shooting Angus a quick look.]

I, for one, did not see that coming.

I do know him, but...

[ Ango's eyes narrow. He's seen that sharp grin on Taako's face before, that same satisfaction in dunking on someone for the sheer fun of it. Hell, he's been on the receiving end of that grin more than once. Taako and his sister obviously have more than their physical features in common, but how could he not have mentioned her, even in passing? Maybe they don't get along?

Lup is a mystery to be solved, and Angus is the best in the world when it comes to solving mysteries. He'll have to be careful with this one in particular (satisfying his own curiousity is one thing, but stepping into the middle of deep-seated family drama is another), and OH CRAP MORE WATERMELON DOGS. ]

I-I guess that answers my question, Ma'am!

[ He edges closer to Lup, pulls a dinky little magic wand out from under his sweatervest - it's hanging from a lanyard, because of course it is - and aims it at the approaching monstrosities. One Lightning Bolt later, and the smallest watermelon dog is limping off to one side, while the two larger ones are just kinda scorched. ]

[Angus is too smart for his own good, especially for his age. Thankfully, there was a perfectly good distraction skittering in to divert the boy's attention towards instead of the mystery tangled up around his friends. Lup might be skilled at dodging truthful answers when necessary, but she was just not prepared for any other emotionally-charged questions today.

Lup turns to greet the monsters with a grin, watching as Angus drags out a freaking lanyard-attached wand. She laughs, loud but not unkindly, face lighting up when he aims a perfect Lightning Bolt at the watermelon dogs, zapping them.]

Nice, kid! Send that puppy back to the pound!

[With the two larger beasts moving their way, a little singed and a lot angrier, Lup wastes no time in casting Scorching Ray. She hurls all three rays of fire at both of the bigger dogs, one of the two taking just enough damage to let loose an awful yelp before running off. Two down, one to go!]

[ There's another difference between the twins, Taako probably would have rolled his eyes and had some kind of snarky commentary about tiny nerds. Angus makes a mental note of this in Lup's case file, furrows his brow, and casts a Magic Missile at the remaining critter, which takes the hits to the shoulder and goes skidding back a few feet from the impact. ]

These... these aren't actually dogs, are they? This isn't what dogs look like, down here? We're not gonna get in trouble with the fantasy SPCA? I know this is in self defence, but I'd still feel pretty bad about hurting a dog!

Edited (TOO MANY MA'AMS) 2017-08-04 04:14 (UTC)

[Once the whole mystery was finally put to rest, Lup would love to see just exactly what the boy put in her case file. It was bound to be an amusing read if nothing else. And maybe a little enlightening too.

Angus' question is so genuine that Lup feels a little bit thrown by the honest worry behind it, her Fireball whizzing past the last target by a mere handful of inches. The creature stamps it's human hands and skitters closer, but not fast enough for Lup to really worry. She cocks her head down at Angus, unable to help her twisting smile.]

Nah. You have nothing to worry about. I'm pretty sure that dogs aren't a fruit, so we should be golden. You wanna finish it off, kiddo? [She usually hates to share the glory, but the kid looks like he could use the confidence boost in his spell-casting abilities. (He clearly didn't need one regarding his detective skills.)]

[ Man, Lup is going to get an entire drawer of Angus' filing cabinet dedicated to her case at this rate. There will be annotated jot notes and mind maps and everything, he's very thorough when it comes to figuring out mysteries, and Lup is a big one!

He swallows and aims his wand again, eyes narrowed behind those big nerdy glasses. ]

O-ok, Ma'am!

[ He isn't sure how many spell slots he has left, so he sticks with Magic Missile for now, just to be safe. Three blasts shoot out the tip of the wand and thud into the creature, who reassesses the situation, decides to make a good life choice, and runs off into the dark, yelping pitifully.]

[You know, Ango, if anyone else were to stumble upon that kind of excessive notation, they'd probably assume the kid was a serial killer instead of the world's greatest detective. Just saying.

Lup steps aside to let Angus have the finishing move on the final of the watermelon beasts, grinning as the boy brandishes his wand and casts magic missile. The creature is off with a start, scampering away to join the rest of it's fruit-dog hybrid family, leaving Lup to whoop out happily as it skitters out of view. The elf reaches down to affectionately ruffle Angus' hair, shooting him a wide, gleeful grin.] I knew you could handle it. No sweat.

[ Chalk that up as another difference between Taako and Lup, Taako isn't usually so open with the physical affection, let alone the praise! Angus stares up at Lup like she's suddenly sprouted a second head for a second - it's odd to get a hair-ruffle from someone who looks so much like Taako, but isn't - before he cracks an uncertain little grin. ]

Thank you! Um... is that the last of them? Should we get out of here? I don't suppose there's an easy staircase to the surface or anything nearby?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Test Drive Meme #22

no subject

no subject

I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS

HOW COULD YOU

LOOK, HE'S NOT WRONG

sweet baby boy is never wrong

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject