dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(Lucretia raises an eyebrow, but flips to the back of the book to find one of those weird little blank pages they sometimes put in cook-books for notes or whatever and quickly jots down everything he tells her anyway. It's how she be. Her career in cake making is probably coming to an end after this ridiculous competition but hey, maybe somebody else will need the information some day, and then she can save them from a smug explanation.)

Stray crumbs... gotcha. Okay. (She snaps the book shut, and considers the cake.)

Is... is any of it salvageable? I don't think I have time to start again.

Edited (a word) 2017-07-26 03:43 (UTC)

[Aww, she's taking notes. Well, of course she is if he's being honest. One, his advice is infinitely valuable, and two, he's pretty sure if Lucretia isn't taking notes she's been replaced by a body double. Still, she asks his advice, and his grin goes wide as he considers her cake for a moment.]

Mmm, by you? I dunno. By me though, probably. And seein' as you're askin' so nice, I can probably help whip something up.

[He still looks so pleased with himself, scraping a little bit of frosting off the top to taste and poking at the texture.]

Well the good news is that it's kinda sealed itself now that it's cooling, but you're still gonna want to get, uh, most of this frosting off-- do you have time to make another layer? 'Cuz we could hide this real well by just putting it on the bottom or trimming the sides.

Oh, thank you so much. (She's too stressed to be explicitly sarcastic, and knows that even if she was he'd still pretend she had been sincere anyway, so. What's the point. At least he's agreed to actually help.)

I... uh, I think so. (She's back to flipping through her cookbook again, sneaking a hurried glance at her remaining ingredients.) Yes? Yes. I'm sure I can make something a little less half-baked this time.

(Puns! Even in this time of stress.) I'll start on that– you do... whatever it is that you need to do.

[Hey, she said thank you, and he’ll take it despite the sarcasm, grabbing an apron off the wall and tying it over his clothes in a flourish. Oh, he is ready.]

You worry about the batter and stuff, cuz even if it’s not the best it’s gonna be weird if I made one and it’s like, wildly different. I’ll do the frosting surgery and uh, waaaaay more buttercream. You want a specific flavor or whatever? Actually, hell, we could make this like, uh, really big.

[Oh no now he’s getting ideas, someone stop him before he launches into The Extra Planet where he asks for 4 more tiers and interior structure piping.]

Sorry– even if it's 'not the best'?

(She's bending her cookbook down the middle so it will stay open on the right page when she's propped it up on the counter-top.) It'll be fine. It wasn't– the batter is easy, it's just the oven or... or something.

(Clean bowls are, thankfully, not in short supply. She pulls out a fresh set of measuring cups while she's at it, and retrieves the sifter from the sink.) Taako, this isn't a project, okay? This is a small competition that I want to win. Focus.

And make it– um, strawberry-flavoured? I don't care.

[He rolls his eyes, because ugh, Lucretia, why you gotta be such a buzzkill for his creative energy here.]

Look, I'm just saying, get a few structural tunnels in here and we could up this thing to four tiers in a sec. But whatever, have it your way. Just make sure to use pans that are smaller than uh, this later, we're gonna want to cut it down some to fix the exterior crumble.

[He's already in full-on Movement Mode now, hair getting affixed out of the way while a Mage Hand appears in front of him, shuffling ingredients into place, sliding things around the counter and depositing a spoon directly into his actual waiting grip.]

Come on, gotta do something fun. You thought about doing specific decor on the outside? You're good with all that, uh, painting stuff.

Test Drive Meme #22

shoves them both back in

YOU CAN ONLY DEFEAT ONE

> taako

wow, VERY rude luce, VERY RUDE

i'd sell you to satan for one corn chip

he's already satan you can't sell him to himself