dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Nah, he'll take his chances with the tall woman threatening to set him on fire, thanks. If that's even what she's doing. Maybe it's a colloquialism, like "you're toast?"

At least she's a shape he recognizes—two legs, two arms, frowning face. Pointy ears, which is... odd, but he'll come back to that when there isn't an eggplant emoji on legs chasing him.

Speaking of—

...mmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm...

Viktor freezes mid-apology, slowly turning his head to look over his shoulder with one wide eye. The creature leans around the corner, watching. It would almost be cute, with its beady black eyes and soft-looking Muppet mouth. Almost, except for its skin, sticky with mucous and scrawled with throbbing veins.]

Maybe roast that thing, instead?

Edited 2017-07-28 05:04 (UTC)

[Lup's eyes slowly rise from the top of Viktor's head to the face (????) of the creature peeking out around the corner at them. For an uncomfortably long moment, the elf and the monster meet eyes, both completely frozen in place.

A beat passes.

Then the monster leans forward and mmmMMMMMMMmmm's loudly in the pair's direction, opening it's disgusting beak of a mouth and drooling and Lup is one hundred percent done with this shit. If that thing drools on her, she's going to burn down this entire city.

Lup bares her teeth and snarls, hands clenching into fists at her side before she was roughly throwing Viktor off of her (and vaguely out of the path of the monster). There, much easier to do the whole magic thing when someone wasn't clinging to you.]

You are fucking out of luck, compadre.

[Immolation should do the trick, which Lup wastes no time in casting. Flames appear and surround the monster, not completely killing it off but at least leaving it shrieking in pain.]

[R U D E

Viktor catches himself against the bowed-out side of the building, hand slapping the stone. A shock of numb pins and needles shoots up his arm, and it hits him with stunning clarity that no, this is not a nightmare like he'd been hoping it would turn out to be.

Well, it is, but it's the waking sort.

He watches, wide-eyed and confused, as Lup appears to shout flames out of the ground. Which is something people, you know, don't do. The sound the monster makes is horrible, a muffled MMMMMMMMMMM of distress and pain. It rears up, revealing the toothy maw and twin... things... on its belly.

And then a phone bounces off of its head. This, evidently, is just TOO MUCH. It gives one last wounded (and offended) groan, and scuttles its crispy ass back around the corner.]

Oh! It worked.

[Did you just steal her kill, bro?

Lup was already raising a hand to cast another spell at the beast, something a little overly flashy to put an end to whatever the fuck this monster was. But then a phone goes flying through the air, the beast wails, and it immediately turns tail to run, leaving Lup's outstretched hand with nothing left to do but drop to her side. Viktor might be able to feel a little irritation in her gaze when it swivels back to him.]

Yeah, guess so. [grumble. give her that exp back.] Any other surprises following you?

Test Drive Meme #22

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