dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well. This, certainly, is not the same as always. Magnus makes an imposing figure, stuttering or no, but Kravitz is not one to bow easily to pressure or intimidation. He stands slowly, fingers spread over the desk in front of him, and does his best to put himself in charge of the situation.]

Hang on. Let's- Let's take a step back for a moment, here. Generally, people call ahead if they want a moment of my time. Or at the very least, they knock and introduce themselves.

[He sighs, sounding incredibly put upon.]

You want me to search for someone without a year they may have died in, let alone any certainty about their name or mere existence?

[Magnus rolls his eyes.]

I mean, if you say it like that you make it sound like I'm being unreasonable. I don't know what a phone is. Listen. This is very important. I can't get this fucking... nonexistent lady out of my mind! If she's even a lady!! And now she's dead!

[He throws his hands up into the air, like, fuck, what is he supposed to do? Be helpful?? He can't even help himself!]

That kid Ango noticed it too, something's going on, like, I think I forgot something really fucking important. So just. Find out what I need to know! Okay???

[Magnus just looks at Kravitz, absolute helplessness on his face. He doesn't know what else to do, but he's got to do something about this. He's on the verge of remembering someone important, and if anyone can help him, it's this guy.]

[That kid Ango?? A nonexistent lady?? And Magnus, eyes wide, looking so, completely helpless. Agh. Kravitz is just- he's so- he throws his hands up in frustration, an unintentional mirror of Magnus. Look at these shouty men.]

Okay! Alright, fine! Please sit down, for gods sake.

[Gods. Saying the word feels like his body has taken a dizzying step sideways without his permission, and Kravitz holds his head as he sits once more at his (extremely) comfy chair.]

I'll look it up, if you just- just stop talking.

[He takes a deep, centering breath, and swings round to the rather neglected front office computer. It's just a matter of opening the database, and entering some parameters and-

And...

Kravitz narrows his eyes and sits very still.]

[Magnus' helplessness transforms instantly into surprised relief, and he hurriedly takes a seat in front of Kravitz's desk. Obediently, because he's half-convinced if he doesn't follow the instruction Kravitz will change his mind, he remains silent, but even still can't help but bounce a leg in restless anticipation, watching the man work.

And... he just kind of. Sits there. He doesn't speak, he's just... staring at the computer screen. Magnus stops breathing, waiting for Kravitz to say something, and when nothing comes he can't help his long-awaited outburst.]

W-Well?? Did you find her? Mrs. Burnsides?? Or... Anderson-Burnsides or whatever? Please say something, I'm freaking out.

[Magnus' words don't seem to properly register, even if the sound of them rouses Kravitz from his daze. His eyes flick over to Magnus briefly and then back again, and he laughs hoarsely; a sound entirely devoid of amusement.]

This doesn't make sense, I- there's nothing.

[Hearing himself affirm it out loud stirs Kravitz into action. He leans away from the computer, shaking his head, and pulls out a file drawer from behind the desk. Frustration, bewilderment, and panic are all evident in the expression on his face as he digs through it, fingers moving with practiced ease.]

Absolutely nothing. I don't- no, wait, [He drops the files, just drops them, and sits up properly to spin the computer around so that Magnus can look at it.] Am I going insane? This is indecipherable, correct?

[It's immediately apparent what he means. There are words, certainly. But none of them make any sort of sense. It looks like the computer should work, but at the same time, focusing too hard on making anything happen just makes his head buzz.]

[Magnus just stares silently at the computer, face frozen in shock.

After a period of stunned silence, he turns back to Kravitz and says, pointing to the screen,]

No, uh, see, this is just one of those coding languages. B minus minus or whatever. You're obviously in debug mode.

[Obviously. Magnus takes the mouse from Kravitz and starts poking around the computer's interface.]

Let me just... Uh... Fuck, what am I doing, I don't know how to work a computer. I feel like I've never seen one in my life.

[He just decides to grab the monitor and give it a good shake.]

[I feel like I've never seen one in my life. The words ring scarily true to Kravitz, and he feels like he's going to be sick.

His instinct is to grab at Magnus' arm, and open his mouth to berate him, but... instead he pulls back. Stops himself before he says anything. What does it matter? The thing may as well be a brick to him. Did he really use this thing all the time?

Now that he has to think about it, Kravitz isn't even sure what the computer is for. He slumps down in his chair.]

I do not understand this at all.

Test Drive Meme #22

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOI

(flaming elmo but its magnus emote)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject