dankmemes | test drive meme #23

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open August 25th, and apps are open September 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: SLIPPERY NAKED PEOPLE
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

No big deal, but there's a freaky wall-climbing zombie thing stalking you. Maybe you should get inside? Or run. Or just accept death. This time, the Door has brought in some Descendants, from the Uncharted video game.

Descendents are emaciated, man-eating monsters that used to be normal people until affected by a virus - you know how that goes! Terribly, always. They are fast and agile and quite strong, and they will stalk you and crawl up walls and maybe break your neck if they can. Badass.]

S O R R O W / H O P E

SCENARIO TWO: THE FUTURE ISN'T BRIGHT
[You found a mirror. It's your mirror, created just for you, and when you look into it - well. You might not want to look more than once, because it shows an image of the worst possible future you could imagine for yourself. Maybe you're dead. Maybe someone you love it. Maybe you've lost everything. Basically, it sucks.

What are you gonna do? Throw it away? Smash it? Keep looking over and over because you love pain? Or maybe someone else threw theirs away, and you're the one that found it. You really, really want to look. Invasive, maybe, but your curiosity is killing you. Just a peek...

This is a mini version of our Bad End event this month.]

L O V E

SCENARIO THREE: VISIT ME AND EXPLAIN YOUR PASSIONS
[You know that totally inconsequential hobby? The one that you love? Or maybe your favorite TV show or comic book? Wouldn't it be great if you had someone to talk to about it? Someone who would listen patiently while you explain the family tree from that obscure fantasy novel you reread every year?

Well, wait no longer! Your time is now! The moment you make eye contact with someone, you'll know they want to listen to you explain your obsession. They've just been waiting and hoping you'll come along and educate them! So go to town, buddy, tell them all about your waifu.

Or maybe a stranger just walked up to you and started talking about their favorite knitting pattern. That's... cool. Are you gonna interrupt them? Walk away? Get into an argument about how your favorite knitting pattern is so much better? Now's the time to show your passion, or possibly your complete disinterest! Go for it!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Woo-hoo!

[Don't you worry, Harlan, Hayden is on the job. But he's also like completely rolling around all over the floor from the sound of things from the kitchen, so while you're making mac and cheese you might want to double check on them every now and then to just make sure he doesn't knock anything over.

There is a yell at one point, presumably John Frusciante sinking her nails into Hayden's strange, constantly-moving tail, but it doesn't seem to bother him enough that he stays still. At one point he's just perched on top of that creepy ass chair, looking weirdly appropriate what with being a demon, but, you know.]

I am keeping her busy Mister Harlan, sir!

[Lucky for all involved, Harlan has no particular attachment to like anything in his apartment. All of the furniture except the stupid sheep chair was just here when he claimed it, and the sheep chair was never long for this world, anyway. If John Frusciante wants something, it's usually shredded in like less than 24 hours. He's surprised the chair has lasted this long, honestly.

But Harlan will check in on them anyway as he's waiting for the water to boil, especially because there was some yelling a moment ago and he has no doubt that John Frusciante could kill the shit out of Hayden if she felt like it, despite being a tiny.]

Hah, thanks. You okay? She bite you?

I am bite free because I am good at my duty!

[Hayden bounces up and down, running around in gentle but definitely dizzying circles as Sciante chases after him. He seems to realize what he said belatedly and abruptly breaks out into immature giggles.]

[Harlan laughs. God, this fucking kid.]

Even the best catsitters walk away with bites sometimes. Especially with her. She's a bitch.

[He heads back into the kitchen to do food things, but John Frusciante will continue to keep Hayden plenty busy. She is particularly invested in catching his!! tail!!!!! please give it to her??? she has bites to do.]

You are good at this shit, though. [He's yelling from the kitchen.] You're gonna have to come over and wear her out like, daily.

I thought she was a cat and not a dog though!!!!

[That should be a question but the way he shouts it stops making it sound like a question. Maybe she is a dog after all!]

I will try not to break things!

[Another scream. She got that sweet sweet tail. But he also wants to let her have it because she is very cute and nice and a good not-cat. So Hayden shudders and collapses abruptly onto his side and lets her bite at his tail and tries not to cry so much about it.]

[...???

Harlan pokes his head out of the kitchen again to squint at Hayden.]

She's a cat. Do they not have cats where you're from?

[Oh wait the child is getting mauled. Oops. He heads over to pluck Sciante off of Hayden, since she's totally gnawing at his tail in like full force because she's terrible.]

Sorry. [He's just got his hands around her middle as she flails her limbs wildly, too small to do anything about his lifting.] You okay?

[Hayden nod as he sits back up again and shoves the end of his tail unceremoniously into his mouth. It's okay though, because he's not biting it he's just drooling on it. Like, you know, licking his wound sort of but in a more embarrassing sort of way.]

I am gonna be okay! But I think my tail wants to die now.

[When he has decided he's coated himself in enough slobber he lets his tail go back to its business of existing erratically on its own and paws idly at the ground. For the first time he seems to really look around the room.]

Is this your forever home?

Oh. [Harlan makes a face as this kid sucks on his tail. Ew? But he doesn't seem to be bleeding or anything, so...

He pulls John Frusciante to his chest and she climbs up to wobble precariously on his shoulder.]

I live here for now, if that's what you mean. I'm from New York, and I'd like to get back there eventually, but apparently there's no telling when that'll happen.

Hmmm! Hmmm...! Hmmmm!!!

[These words probably mean absolutely nothing to him, right? And yet, Hayden is considering them. Considering them very importantly. And then he smiles!]

I know! New York is the place that has a very big apple! And I want to eat it!

Hah, sure, close enough. It's just called the Big Apple, though.

[He's not sure why??]

Interesting that you've heard of it, though. Maybe we are from kind of the same place.

That's misleading if there are no apples!

[Hayden sounds very cross. Or, well, what is possibly very cross for him, but he doesn't actually sound very cross at all. He tilts his head from side to side as he clambers back up to his feet again. He doesn't seem to be able to sit very still very very long at all.]

Sure! Everybody goes to the same places when they die...more or less.

[Harlan snorts.] You're right. It is.

[You and him both, dude. He pries John Frusciante off of his shoulder and drops her into Hayden's arms before heading back into the kitchen for macaroni times. He'll still talk to you though, Hayden, just... loudly, from the other room.]

What do you mean?

test drive meme #23

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