dankmemes | TEST DRIVE MEME #5

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TEST DRIVE MEME #5

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open January 25th, and apps are open February 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HERE KITTY KITTY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something on the rooftops watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to separate you from your group and tear you into pieces. This time, the Door has brought in coeurls, from the video game Final Fantasy X for you meet.

These cat-like monsters can use elemental magic to attack, as well as their teeth and claws. When injured, they can cast a spell that will drain energy from their attacker and give it to them - and they are even able to temporarily petrify you. So if you decide to fight, let's hope you can finish them off quick!]

SCENARIO TWO: BURIED ALIVE
[What a wonderful day to find yourself - or a friend, or a stranger - buried six feet under. Covered in thick earth, the sturdy oak walls of the coffin trapping you in darkness, all alone. Not a soul to hear any cries of help.

Either you're in a coffin yourself, trapped, hoping for rescue, or you've got a GPS, a set of coordinates, and a shovel. Will you try to claw your way out of your possible grave, using only your bare hands and pure terror? Or will you be the one digging, hoping that down below is someone you love, waiting for you to unearth them?

Just don't take too long. Their air - your air - could run out at any moment.

This is a mini version of our Buried Alive event this month!]

R A G E

SCENARIO THREE: PET PEEVED
[Everything seems to be going just wrong enough to drive you right up the wall. Maybe your shoes keep coming untied, or you slammed your finger in the door while you were leaving the house. Maybe your friend keeps using the wrong form of 'your/you're' when they text you. Maybe that guy in the shop with you won't get off his damn phone.

Whatever it is, your day has been full of tiny annoyances, enough to leave you on edge and just about ready to explode. They're such little things, nothing that should inspire so much anger, but one after another - well, shouldn't anyone understand why you're mad?

And then someone else comes along, perfectly primed to push your buttons. Maybe they keep pronouncing your name wrong, or they won't stop staring at your scar, or they have hair just the right color to remind you of your last ex. You're already primed for a fight, and they seem just as pissed as you. What will you do?]

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[at least he calms down quickly, and casually lights a cigarette as they walk. He may not look like he's on alert, but Sanji has his senses trained on everything around them.]

Hell of a welcome party. Here, come to a new town, stay for the wild animals. Have you been here long or is this your introduction to crazy, too?

Ugh. Could you not? Keep that thing away from me, I do not want this jacket or my hair reeking of smoke.

[If so much as one granule of ash lands on her, holy shit.]

Some douchebag fucking brought me here or something, I don't know how. I was walking around in these underground tunnels with a bunch of losers, and suddenly I turn a corner and here I am. [She gestures to indicate the city.] I don't know what's worse. The wendigos on the mountain, or all these fucking cougars or whatever they are.

[The wendigos, probably, why lie.]

Edited (#ESL problems) 2016-01-27 23:53 (UTC)

Ah...oh. Sorry. [he'll keep it in his mouth and veer away a little. Wow, he just can't win, here.]

So we're in the same boat, so to speak. There's gotta be other people around, we should find...

[hang on, there's something approaching from the right. Sanji breaks off mid-sentence to turn and intercept it, slamming his foot almost straight upward into a coeurl trying the death-from-above leap onto them. Another kick shoots it off out of their path, and then he just lands, brushes down his dress shirt, and picks up where he left off.]

...find some shelter, and maybe good food. Or a kitchen, at least.

[Nobody really wins with Emily, Sanji. Rule #1: Emily is always right.

And oh my god, will you stop trying to give her a heart attack!?]

What the hell! What-- you shoot fire from your feet?

What? No! It's just a technique, I'm not magical or anything. [awkward laugh] Honest, it won't hurt you.

I mean, unless you want one of these lion-tiger-whatevers to claw you, but I said I wasn't going to let that happen, and I won't.

A technique? [She scoffs, but she's curious, so her voice softens just the tiniest bit.] Looks like magic to me. [And while normally she'd call you a moron for even mentioning magic as a possibility, she's not so sure anymore, what's real and what's not. Cannibals turn into monsters on the mountain, after all.]

No. I've been attacked enough for one lifetime. [The bite doesn't hurt anymore, but it's there, and it'll probably scar, a brand she'll carry for the rest of her life to remind her of the monsters on the mountain. All she wants ks go forget everything that's ever happened there, but no, she won't get to. Goddamnit.]

Yeah, a technique. [he could go into detail if she wants...] I'm just a normal human being, really. No special abilities here.

[except that he seems to be able to know exactly where the big cats are before either of them can even see them, and yeah there's the flame.]

Doesn't look like we're going to be able to get to safety without having those bastards breathing down our necks, though. I can't even tell if any of these buildings are safe, or if they're just going to come crashing down on our heads.

I don't see how shooting fire from your foot qualifies you to be "just a normal human being." I'm a normal human being.

[Okay, that's a bit of a lie. She's way above average in looks and smarts, but that's not the point. Those things still fall within the realm of "normal human being."]

There's gotta be somewhere we can go. I can't spend the rest of my life running away from monsters.

[One night is more than enough, thanks.]

How about that one over there? [She points to one building to their right. It looks weird, but not sturdily built.]

[He laughs it off, not wanting to scare her too much more. Honest, it's just friction! Exceptionally weird physics!]

Which one? Hm. Sure, I suppose we gotta start somewhere. [Sanji picks up the pace a bit, and glances over his shoulder to her with a bit of a grin as he goes] Are you hungry? Maybe we can raid it for food. I'll cook you up the most amazing meal you've ever had!

[Yeah okay. Just friction. She still thinks you're super weird, but you're protecting her, so she'll keep you around for now.

Is she hungry... When was the last time she ate? Probably before leaving for Mount Washington. That was ... God, hours ago. She's been too busy running for her life to feel hungry, but now that she mentions it, now that she thinks about it-- yeah. She kind of is.]

You can cook? [She looks skeptical, but she's not sneering. You've made some progress, Sanji!] What, do you light the stove with your foot?

Haha! No... [total shit-eating grin. He's so damn proud of himself and it shows.] I'm a cook by trade. Ship's cook for my crew. Trust me, you won't have anything to complain about...

[Though, as he pushes on the door and finds it unlocked, he's starting to have his doubts they'll find any food in this house. At least, nothing that isn't spoiled or gross. It's his first peek at this world and wow, even coming from the weird-ass places on Grand Line, this thing is weird. All these funky shapes and colors, how does one even find the fridge?

Sanji picks around, opening anything that looks like it has a door on it to see what's a cabinet, what's a pantry, and what might be an appliance.]

...the hell is this place? Shit, I didn't even think whether it's got gas or power...

A ship. [said very deadpan. Whatever. A cook is a cook, which means she won't have to do it herself.

This house isn't exactly creepy for being dark and abandoned, but it does make Emily a bit uneasy. Every thing looks so... weird.] This is worse than the old hotel.

[Still, she ventures in after Sanji, secure in the thought that if anything were going to kill them, it would've lept out and gone for him already. In the kitchen, she pulls open a cupboard and peers inside.]

Empty. Fucking fabulous.

[She looks over at Sanji when he speaks up, then rolls her eyes.] There's got to be circuit breakers somewhere. People lived here, right? They had appliances. They had to power them somehow. [Having said so, she starts towards the hall, eyeing the walls for what could be breaker box.]

You'd think so, but considering how weird they look on the outside, there's no telling what kind of power they use.

[there isn't even a hum from appliances, so if there's a fridge, it must be a super-quiet one. Sanji pulls on another handle and the door of the pantry falls right off.]

...oops.

It's not like it was solar power. [There's a light source here, but it's still very obviously some sort of enormous cave. Was this some kind of mining settlement? She can't think of any other reason anyone would willingly set up their life underground.

Before she heads into the hallway, she hears the clatter of Sanji breaking the pantey door.] Nice one, doofus.

[The fact that she has chosen 'doofus' and not anything else means you have gained a little ground, and also that she doesn't want to push you away yet. There's no bond between you, after all, nothing to keep Sanji from just walking away and leaving Emily on her own.]

I think I see something. [A small recess in the wall. She goes to it, peering into it.] It's a button. You should take a look and see if you can figure out what it's for. [Because if it's for maiming intruders, flaming foot guy actually stands a chance against it.]

Yeah, I gathered that much. [his haki only stretches so far, but he could tell that there wasn't just a normal frosty sky overhead. There was a roof up there somewhere.

He follows her voice out to the spot and leans in (a little too close, ahem) to see it for himself]

Ohhh you want me to do it, eh? Just in case it makes the house explode or something? Well, far be it from me to turn down a lady's request.

[Sanji hesitates, though, because he doesn't really want to be blown up either. But studying the button doesn't bring him any answers or even theories, so there's only one thing to do.

Push the button. Anything? Anything at all? Is this thing on?]

Seriously? Haven't you ever heard of personal space? [She shoves him into the hall, though it's largely a failed shove, since he'a already walking away anyway.

When he presses the button, she waits. Nothing. Okay, so it's nothing immediately fatal. Then she turns and looks back at the kitchen, which looks ... like nothing has happened.]

Something could be on. [And she goes to check right away, flipping a light switch.

Score!] Now we're getting somewhere.

Nice! [huzzah, and he didn't blow up!] But if the power's been off, then if they have a fridge, everything in it is probably bad. Not that I couldn't cook something out of just rice and canned goods, but fresh food is so much better.

[Sanji goes back to the pantry he busted open and starts pulling boxes and cans off the shelf. Nothing seems to be properly labeled. Ugh, is he going to have to taste-test everything to see if it's gone off? Not his favorite job in the world.]

I wouldn't trust meat from this place anyway. There's no grass here. Where would they even get any, those cougar things?

[Emily crosses to what she thinks could be a fridge and pulls it open. Nothing.] What the hell happened here? [And how the fuck is she supposed to ... get home, or whatever? Not back to the lodge, but home, with her comfy bed and walk-in closet and her boyfriend and her car and the life she's got waiting for her, goddamnit.

She shuts the refrigerator and starts pulling open drawers until she finds a can opener, which she holds out to Sanji.]

Too gamey, I'll bet. [sigh] Not that beggars can be choosers. If this place has gone to shit and all we can do is survive, it'll have to be cougar-meat or nothing.

[Oh, hey, can opener. Sweet.] Ah, thank you, Miss Emily! Let's pry open a lid and see what this is.

[a quick flick of his wrist and the can is open. It just looks like glop, nothing identifiable, so Sanji sniffs it and then dips the tip of his pinky finger into it taste it. Hmm.]

Seems like...soup. Maybe mushroom. Ugh, real salty, though.

[Ew. Emily wrinkles her nose at the sight of Sanji trying out the stuff in the can. It must be so bad for you, but he's right, beggars can't be choosers.]

Well, heat it up.

[She goes to what looks like the sink, only it doesn't have any knobs or buttons. Must be touch-activated or motion-sensing. She waves a hand over the spout, but nothing happens, so she taps what she thinks should be the cold water side.]

Fuck yeah. Now we've just got to boil it. [And she starts looking for a pot to do that in while Sanji finds and fiddles with the stove.]

[Poor girl probably doesn't know good food, but Sanji is determined not to let her down.]

This is going to be absolutely awful. I'll be a failure as a cook if I can't spruce it up a little. Argh, isn't there anything in here that'll pass for spices?

[He sets the can aside until she can find a pot, and first wastes a bit of time hunting through the pantry for anything that looks or smells like a spice. Flour? Sugar, even? He taste-tests a few more things, makes some spectacular faces at how nasty some of them are, and finally comes out with an armful of small jars.]

Evaporated milk, some kind of pepper, and I think this one's pickled fish. I can work with this.

[now to push buttons on some of the bits with flat top surfaces and hope he doesn't singe his curly eyebrows off]

[Excuse you, weird eyebrows guy, rich girl knows great food.

She finds a small cache of pots while he's rooting through the pantry, sets one next to the thing he's poking around at, and starts to fill another with water. She doubts there's a water processing plant here, so best to boil out all the shit out of it.]

Whatever, as long as we don't starve.

[Starving is bad. Starving ... leads to terrible things. She shudders a little. She does not miss the lodge right now.]

[he will take great delight in impressing her palate later, then, when real food can be had.

Sanji abruptly stops poking and just holds his hand over the surface to see if it's heating, but his voice goes strangely solemn as he responds.]

You won't starve. I promise. I would rather die than let anyone starve.

[he takes a deep drag off the cigarette, straightens up, and moves the pots over to where he's sure he felt something heating up. Soup goes in one, and he gestures to the pot of water to silently compliment her smarts. Yes, boil the water, it's safer that way.]

I can't promise it'll be my best, but it'll fill us up for a full day of exploring.

[O...kay. Clearly there's more behind that. But whatever. As long as they're not at risk of starving, she doesn't care.

She arches an eyebrow at him when he gives her a figurative thumbs up regarding the water. What, did you underestimate her survival skills? God. Just because she's so put together doesn't mean she doesn't know you have to boil water to purify it.]

Whatever, as long as it's edible.

[She pushes a few buttons on the stove thing and sets the pot of water on the burner (or, the thing that resembles a burner) that has begun to heat up.]

Don't worry about that part. [he gives her a brilliant grin] Sit, sit! I've got this, take a break. Thanks for your help, Miss Emily.

[no matter how terrible this canned soup is, he's at it like it's the biggest gourmet meal he's ever put together, humming as he stirs and adds the extra bits to enhance the flavor. At least he's already poked through the cabinets enough that he's seen where the utensils are kept, so when it's ready, he'll have it served up perfectly without wasting a drop.]

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unfollowing - 2016-02-01 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

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