dankmemes | test drive meme #28

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open January 25th, and apps are open February 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: GOT ANY BREATH MINTS?
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

It looks like this time the Door is going for a little variety. You get to enjoy a couple kinds of chaos serpents, from the video game Hexen.

Chaos serpents are bipedal reptilian creatures with three horns, in two different colors. They can bite, as with most monsters, but the real threat is their breath weapons. The green ones spit powerful fireballs, while the brown ones spit clouds of poisonous gas. If you're lucky, they'll fight each other instead of you - but who ever gets lucky here?]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: ONE MINUTE IN HEAVEN
[Remember that first rush of infatuation, when your heart beats fast and your cheeks get red and you feel like you could do anything - anything - to get your crush's attention? Maybe you don't. Maybe you're too level-headed for that. Well, not anymore.

Now, whenever you meet a new person, you feel one solid minute of the most intense crush you've ever had. Their hair! Those eyes! Those incredibly attractive arm muscles! That tinkling laugh! Maybe you're the type to get nervous, maybe you'll swallow seven packets of hot sauce to show how cool you are, maybe you'll just lay down your very best pickup lines. Maybe more than one of the above - there are so many ways to embarrass yourself in 60 seconds!

But then time's up, and your insta-crush is gone, and now you get to deal with the consequences. What did you say? What did you do? That laugh you thought was beautiful and tinkling turns out to be obnoxious and honking. Also, you're pretty sure you just hit on your neighbor. But hey... maybe they actually are pretty hot, and you just made the first move. It's possible!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: THE PITTER PATTER OF LITTLE FEET
[There you were, minding your own business, when you suddenly fell into a deep sleep. Not that you remember that - now all you remember is being a child, as your consciousness has taken the form of your younger self. Here's your opportunity to run around and get into all the trouble you could hope for!

Or maybe you didn't become a child - maybe someone else did. Did some random kid just run up to you, confused and a little scared, or possibly just obnoxious? It'd be nice of you to help them out. Unless you hate kids, and hey, who can blame you? They're loud and somehow their little hands always seem to be sticky. Still. Make sure they don't run straight into the monsters outside the city, all right?

This is a mini version of our Hope of a Child event this month.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Staring was better than killing him, he guessed. Fuck, why couldn't he just shut his own mouth? Why did he keep saying such stupid things? Shit, was this worse than normal, and that's saying something.

But he opened his mouth again, and doing that? Wasn't doing him any favors.]

Because the hotter you make me, the more irresistible you get?

[Ten seconds.]

[Ephemera stares at the man.]

The fuck is wrong with you?

[Annnnd ding ding ding, time's up. The dawning realization of who he was flirting with (flirting with? he had been full-blown hitting on him) came crashing down upon him like an out-of-control Pelican. His stomach bottomed out, some rollercoaster level drop, and he started to back up as he shivered. Oh, Sharkface, you might not be able to see his expression, but note that it was full of horror.]

What. The. Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck!

[There we go. That was the reaction that should have been taking hold of him this entire time. He scooted back, hopped to his feet, and made sure to put enough space between them. Yeah. Yeah, that was way better.]

Look, I swear, I don't know what the fuck happened, but that wasn't me.

[....what.]

Pretty sure that was all you, motherfucker.

[Ephemera is not even slightly amused.]

I'm running out of reasons not to give you back to Washington in pieces.

[Yeah, exactly, what? Because while Tucker was completely on board with hitting on everything that moved, breathed, and sometimes did neither, known enemies were where he drew the line.

Especially enemies who threatened...that.]

Hey, Wash isn't my babysitter. [Shut up, Tucker; everyone knew he was.] Look, let's just forget this whole thing ever happened, okay? Fair?

[Because that sounded way fair to him.]

[Ephemera growls a curse under his breath.]

Do not make me regret this.

Trust me, even if you do, I don't plan on sticking around long enough to find out.

[In this place. Around you. Both applied in this moment, this stay, and he was damn sure to keep it present. He started to back away, never letting Sharkface leave his sight as he moved, not stupid enough to show the man his back. Good so far; let's see if he could keep it going until he was in the clear.]

And, uh, don't tell Wash about this!

[Ephemera scowls.]

Nah. I tell him, at least I get the satisfaction of knowing he dressed you down for it. Idiot.

test drive meme #28

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