dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #33

Entry tags:

!test drive

Test Drive Meme #33

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open June 24th, and apps are open July 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: WEARS HIGH HEELS WHEN SHE EXERCISES
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

And this one is, well, particularly creepy. Especially if you dislike body horror, or spiders, or being eaten. This time, the Door has brought in Virginias, from the video game The Forest.

Virginias are rather disturbing-looking monsters, looking a bit like multiple bodies all squished together. They move quickly, they can charge and leap at you, and those creepy arms and legs hurt like hell. They also make skittering noises, if you want to be even more creeped out. So have fun with that!]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: YES, LIKE THAT
[Today, it's you time. You woke up this morning and you knew it was the perfect day to practice a little self-care. To put yourself first. To treat yourself. And that's what you're going to do!

Whether that means drinking too much, skipping out on unwanted obligations, telling people what you really think of them, or eating that last donut - you're looking after you now, and it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks! All that matters is that you're happy. So party on, and let's hope your fun doesn't get in the way of anyone else's life.

This is a mini version of our Love Yourself event this month.]

R A G E

SCENARIO THREE: JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS
[This morning you didn't wake up wanting to treat yourself. Oh, no. You woke up wanting to show your anger - to the world, to yourself, to anyone watching. You want to break shit, start fights, get into pointless internet arguments. They're wrong, after all.

So why not? Find a stray piece of wood and start smashing windows. Tell someone you don't like the way they're looking at you. Post something incendiary on ~~Twitter~~ Hadriel's network. And wait for the responding anger. That's what you want, right? Someone to face off against?

Let's just hope you don't go too far.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh yeah. I'm from 2018 and they're still making it. There's been a couple movies, too.

[Oh dang. Does he brag about fighting aliens like a badass, or does he play it safe and just act like some normal kid? Uuuugh better just play it safe until he knows more about. Like. Everything.

Time to spin a super convincing lie!]

Nah it was
on Youtube

[Nailed it.]

Holy shit, has anything ended since 2003?
I mean, other than me.

[...yeahhhhh, she’s suspicious. she remembers what he said about the heavy lifting. that’s not normal. but it’s cool, she’s not going to call him out on it or anything. that would be rude. she’s trying to avoid that lately]

Oh. You can find anything on YouTube.
So, have any questions about this place, or did the newbie guide sort you out?

Lots of stuff, probably. I'd have to Google it.

[There's kind of a long pause between replies since there's really no delicate way to ask the weird shit that he wants to ask]

So when you said that this place brings the dead back, you meant like
from experience?

[Meanwhile Peter's sitting over here thinking that she totally bought his Youtube bullshit. SCORE. ]

I think I'm as sorted out as I'm gonna get for now.
I mean I do have like a million questions
And I'll probably have a million more by the end of the day
But I'm good for now.

I don't think Google works here.

[she saw that coming. and how about another dose of weird?]

Not exactly.
I died in my world back in 2003.
That's when shit got weird.
Long story short, I became a Grim Reaper and had to take the souls of people who were gonna die and send them on to the afterlife.
I'm technically undead.
But not in a creepy zombie way.
It just means I heal real fast, I don't technically have to eat or drink or breathe, I can't get drunk, I'm never gonna be any older than eighteen, and while I'm here, I'm immortal.

[she so did not buy it. not in the least. NOPE]

Okay.
If you change your mind, you can always ask later.

Aw what? How does life without Google even WORK??

[He probably had more complaining to do about the google thing but now he has a whole new bunch of stuff to freak out over. Man today is just. Interesting? That's a good word for it.]

I
What?
Oh my god really?
You're not messing with me right like this is real?
Like literally the grim reaper?
I've been texting Literal Death this whole time
Cool
Super cool.
You're sure you're not messing with me?

Badly.
No way to look up "how to cook roast monster" on the internet.
And Amazon doesn't deliver to this planet, either, so forget about buying a nice, distracting book.
I do have a book, if you wanna borrow it?

[which is a sign of how much she likes him already. she doesn't make that offer to just anyone. she is very protective of her book. possibly the one and only readable book on the planet, if you don't count Dr. Brennan's trashy romance thriller]

Yes, really.
Totally not messing with you. This is real.
Literally a Grim Reaper.
One of many.
You have been. Freaky, huh?
I'm positive I'm not messing with you.
Reapers are my world's unique feature.

Not much going on by way of book stores or libraries either, I take it?
Thanks, though.
I might take you up on that once I'm a little more settled in.

[He will protect that book with his life okay]

I mean it does sound freaky, yes.
But we got like aliens and people with funky super powers back home, and I guess that's pretty freaky too.
There's like a wizard guy,
And another dude who turns green and huge.
So I guess the Grim Reaper thing isn't all that nuts when I think about it

Don't I wish.
We had a library, but the books were filled with gibberish.
And then the Null burned it down anyway.

[he better, that book has serious sentimental value for George]

Sounds like your world is quite a party.
Someone like me could just slip between the shadows.
Eternal youth, immortality, it could be a sweet gig.
And trust me, it's not that nuts.
What it is, is a 24/7 job with no pay and no benefits.

WTF why would someone burn down a library?

[He will do his very best]

Come to think of it you probably would fit right in.
Do you get "what's the afterlife like" questions a lot?

Because the Null are fucking jackasses.

[she'll appreciate his efforts]

Really?
Cool.
I'm kind of in the market for a new world.
And, all the time.
The truth is, I have no idea.
Reapers aren't allowed to go to the afterlife.
Not until they've taken their quota of souls.

Sure sounds like it.

Consider yourself invited, if we ever figure out how to leave.
How do you know which ones to take?
Do you just know when someone's about to die?

And I'll bet they're gonna be back, so.
Hope you know how to defend yourself.
Because they're like a cross between the Borg and Daleks and they have about as much mercy.

Awesome.
I'm so there, assuming I get to leave.
I had a boss.
He got the list of everyone who was gonna die that way.
Not all deaths, only murders, accidents, and suicides.
All the ones guaranteed to ask you to take it back.
Our boss would give us the first initial, last name, time, and place on a Post-It.
Which I always thought was kind of rude.
I mean, seriously, a Post-It?
So I don't know, I have to find them.

I think I can manage.
They sound like kind of a huge deal, though.

And that sounds like a pretty inefficient way to do business.
Have you ever like
Gotten the wrong person?

They were.
They attacked several months ago.
The fighting lasted two weeks.
And we know they're still out there, looking for us.

It was totally inefficient.
Most of the time, I got the right guy out of dumb luck.
It would be so easy for things to get fucked up.

Holy crap, two weeks?
Does anyone here even have like training for that sort of thing?

That super doesn't sound promising
Do you still have to do that stuff here?

Two whole weeks.
We've got a lot of people who can fight, but there were still a lot of deaths.
Fortunately, death's a temporary thing here.

Nah.
I'm on permanent vacation.
If you count working at the Lab and getting medical training "vacation."

Right, right.
With the whole coming back from the dead thing, I kind of figured that part.
Doesn't make it all sound any less horrible, though.

Doesn't sound like much of a vacation, but it doesn't sound too bad to me.

Yeah, it sucked.
I was in the Clinic the whole time, though.
Learned how to do stitches, set bone.
Good times.
/sarcasm

It's cool.
I've been here a year.
Learned a lot.

Good stuff to know how to do, though.
Especially if it's as bad as you say it is.
How many doctors or whatever does this place even have?

Most of the time, we don't have to worry.
The most dangerous thing here is each other.
And real doctors?
Two.
The rest of us are just interns.

Do some people here cause trouble?
Two doctors is better than none
That's still not a lot though.
At least people are willing to learn the stuff.

We have a demon?
She murdered someone here and summoned a helluvalot more demons a couple of months ago.
So if you see a lady with black eyes headed your way, it might be a good idea to head the other way.
Two is way better than none.
And we've got plenty of volunteers.

Demons now too, huh.
See I like to think I'm an optimist,
But none of this sounds particularly uhhh
Good?
Gotta say, my hopes aren't super high right now.

Yup, demons too.
There's a lot of not-good about this place.
But it doesn't completely suck.
Most of the people aren't bad.

So far I've only talked to cool people.
That part seems to check out.

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(cw: suicide mention)

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