dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #34

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: OOZES GEOMETRICALLY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

The only warning you may get is the squish slick sound of movement before a gelatinous cube is upon you. Leaving gross trails behind them and with their see-through bodies filled with the bones of those that they've dissolved in their jelly, these cubes have no real vulnerability other than their limited movement.

Gelatinous cubes are exactly what it says on the tin, giant translucent cubes of jelly whose main attack tactic seems to be cornering people in small hallways and just sort of absorbing them into its mass. They then digest all meat and flesh and leave only floating bones and various metals their victim may have been wearing stashed inside of their jiggling forms.

Maybe it's time to apologize for the last time you brought a jelly mold to a potluck.]

A L L

SCENARIO TWO: MY LOYAL SERVANTS
[Thanks for your service to the gods! In order to power each of them up, it's up to you to pick a deity you like most (or dislike least, as it were) and simply say their name in order to be influenced by them and encouraged to inspire their emotion in others!

What, you don't want to play? Too bad, accidental name calling works just as well, even if you didn't mean to incite them- you'll feel their presence pulling their chosen emotion out in you anyway. Hope you picked a good one!

This is a mini version of our In Need Of A Boat event this month.]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: I MISS GPS
[Sure, you might be a little confused at being here at first, but that generally goes away within a few days. This time... well, this time, that feeling of befuddlement isn't quite going away. Roads that you take seem to disappear behind you when you turn around, your right turns are left turns on the map you're following, and you're pretty sure that everyone except for you put their shirt on backwards this morning.

Is everyone high? What they're saying makes absolutely no sense to you. You can't find your way out of a paper bag, let alone back to where you've been staying lately. Is that a dog or is it an eldritch horror coming up to lick at your calves?

During this prompt, everything will feel off and it can be very difficult to get your bearings at all. That's Confusion for you!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. [does he ever. Persistence personified. Well, good. As long as that's all sorted out, he'll ask later when he's feeling more nosy.]

Underneath the place we just left is a "door" of unknown substance. It's not working right - at least, not from our perspective. It serves our hosts' needs just fine but it's incredibly inconvenient for the rest of us. It's out of anyone's control at the moment.

We all came through that Door. If you're lucky, it'll send you back just as unexpectedly. If you're not, you'd be me.

A door.

[He repeats the word flatly, just to acknowledge it as he processes what this all could mean. There's no awe or even spite in the statement. It's not hard to believe after all the shit he's been through in Big Mom's territory. At least this door probably won't talk back to him.

He takes a long drag and then sighs, resigned.]

Well, then. Here's my second question. If we're not on the Grand Line, then why are you still here?

[And not flying back to Wano at top speed?]

Do you really think I'm here because I want to be? [deadpan. C'mon Black Leg keep up here] I said it wasn't working correctly. I've been trapped here nearly a year, against my will.

[isn't that just the most wonderful news?]

[There is one, small flaw in Law's explanation. Sanji points ahead of them, at the ocean surrounding this small island.

USE YOUR WORDS, LAW. EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE NOT ON A SHIP. LEAVING. WHAT IS SANJI NOT SEEING HERE?]

[OH THAT WELL

that actually elicits a small snort]

Working on it. There's all of two passable shipwrights around and neither of them understand what the hell a cabin is or why you would put it on a ship.

[That still isn't enough of an explanation, Sanji thinks, but he's used to working with less. It's enough of a start that he can let it pass. If there's a shortage of shipwrights here, then there's probably a shortage of plenty other things as well.

After a moment, his arm drops helplessly back to his side.]

You say you've been here a year, but it hasn't been that long since we left for Zou. It sounds like you're fighting against more than just a few lousy shipwrights.

[He goes quiet, blowing smoke from flared nostrils. There's plenty more he could ask, and he's tempted. But... There's really only one more thing he needs to know. Better to get straight to the point.]

Okay. Last question.

What do I have to do to get both of us out of here as soon as possible?

Ah. Yeah, there's a few long stories involved, there. [which he'll tell, eventually. Probably over a drink.

Interesting, though. Left for Zou. Have they gotten there yet?]

The best thing you could do... [wandering a step or two toward the sea, then turning around, quite possibly being deliberately overdramatic] ...is join my crew. We're preparing to set sail to find something that may control the Door. You'd make an excellent addition.

[look, he's not dumb. He knows how good a cook Sanji is and they'll need that, especially if he refuses supplies from the gods and goes it on his own. On top of that, he needs that Black Leg style aboard.

Now, to just keep him from twirling off after Caedra...]

[Oh, he arrived at Zou, alright. He saved a bunch of minks, was carted off in a tank man, crashed Big Mom's tea party, and is (was?) finally on his way to Wano. Sanji's got some long stories of his own. They're definitely going to require alcoholic coaxing.

It's those very same stories that keep him from overreacting like he would have if his own crew had been around. His teeth clench. He releases the tension with a puff of smoke.]

Oi, oi. You know I already have a crew. That's the only banner I'll accept for the rest of my shitty life. [It's about then that he removes the cigarette from his lips and points it (equally dramatically) at Law.] As long as that's clear, your ship just nabbed the best damn cook on the ocean.

[Oh, sweet, innocent Law. You can try to keep him from doting on that Amazonian angel. It ain't ever gonna work.]

[haha his life his choices...

Law smirks back, nodding firmly]

I'm not stealing you from Straw Hat. This crew lasts only as long as we're in this world and on the sea, and doesn't affect our alliance back home. [and for a moment he allows himself the briefest flash of something. Nostalgia? Longing? Definitely longing.] I could kill for a taste of real tuna, you know.

[What follows is Sanji's first real smile since he got here. He snorts as one hand finds its way into his pants pocket.]

Well. Ain't we all lucky you won't have to.

[ugh you bastard he doesn't like you at all no never not him]

I'll save the killing for more important reasons, I suppose.

[he wanders back closer, now that he's gotten the important shit out of the way and can be less captainly around an ally. Crewmate.]

You and I are the only ones from our world, here. There are others, some of them are particularly annoying and some not as much. The city is spread across four islands at the moment, but if I remember correctly, you have an ability to cross such obstacles easily.

[he would offer to teleport but eh, Sky Walk is good enough, right?]

[Aaaaw, Law. You're so funny when you try to pretend you're not included. But also, if you must kill something, make sure it's something edible.]

Yeah, I could tell.

[He'd know. If Nami, Robin, Luffy, or the others were here, he'd have felt them immediately. Sanji sighs, resigned.]

I can hop a few islands, sure. No different than a light jog. But I won't feel motivated at all if I have to drag some grumpy swordsman around while I do it.

[all the smirking]

Don't bother, I can manage to get myself from place to place just fine. You don't need me to be tour guide, do you? I really should be getting back to the clinic, in case anyone is too stupid to escape those cubes.

[Yeah, Sanji nods to himself. This is just the right amount of distance. He's glad Law's here, and he's ready to jump on the guy's ship at a moment's notice. But first... First, he needs to accomplish something on his own. He needs to shatter those dream-like expectations he'd only just allowed himself to have again; he needs to remember how to be alone.

If he doesn't, he might break down.]

A pirate checking in on a clinic, huh? [He snorts.] It doesn't suit you.

[And yet it does.]

Guess I'll be off exploring then.

[any niceness evoked by Law being in a clinic doing anything helpful is entirely mitigated by his terrible bedside manner. No worries.]

You should. Get a feel for everything.

[and he'll be over here privately laughing at any reactions to what passes for food - or a kitchen - in the weird alien houses and shops. At least the fish are still fish for the most part.]

[He's sailed through cotton candy snow, Law. He'll adapt, even if there will be lots of angry yelling along the way.

Enjoy it while it lasts.]

I'll find you when I'm done. Then we can really chat.

[With a casual wave, Sanji turns to walk away. He'll use haki to find the most populated areas. Those will be as good a starting point as any.]

Test Drive Meme #34

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