dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #34

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: OOZES GEOMETRICALLY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

The only warning you may get is the squish slick sound of movement before a gelatinous cube is upon you. Leaving gross trails behind them and with their see-through bodies filled with the bones of those that they've dissolved in their jelly, these cubes have no real vulnerability other than their limited movement.

Gelatinous cubes are exactly what it says on the tin, giant translucent cubes of jelly whose main attack tactic seems to be cornering people in small hallways and just sort of absorbing them into its mass. They then digest all meat and flesh and leave only floating bones and various metals their victim may have been wearing stashed inside of their jiggling forms.

Maybe it's time to apologize for the last time you brought a jelly mold to a potluck.]

A L L

SCENARIO TWO: MY LOYAL SERVANTS
[Thanks for your service to the gods! In order to power each of them up, it's up to you to pick a deity you like most (or dislike least, as it were) and simply say their name in order to be influenced by them and encouraged to inspire their emotion in others!

What, you don't want to play? Too bad, accidental name calling works just as well, even if you didn't mean to incite them- you'll feel their presence pulling their chosen emotion out in you anyway. Hope you picked a good one!

This is a mini version of our In Need Of A Boat event this month.]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: I MISS GPS
[Sure, you might be a little confused at being here at first, but that generally goes away within a few days. This time... well, this time, that feeling of befuddlement isn't quite going away. Roads that you take seem to disappear behind you when you turn around, your right turns are left turns on the map you're following, and you're pretty sure that everyone except for you put their shirt on backwards this morning.

Is everyone high? What they're saying makes absolutely no sense to you. You can't find your way out of a paper bag, let alone back to where you've been staying lately. Is that a dog or is it an eldritch horror coming up to lick at your calves?

During this prompt, everything will feel off and it can be very difficult to get your bearings at all. That's Confusion for you!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[A hasty shove against the earth saves his precious arm, but he's not done yet. From above, Sanji slams a fiery heel down, aiming for Zoro's shoulder.]

DAMMIT, YOU DIDN'T HIT ME EITHER!

[So don't act all high and mighty just because you haven't drawn that third sword.]

At least when I'm lost, I know I can just go in the opposite direction as you!

Eeeehhh?

[ Zoro crosses his swords to block the kick -]

Give that opposite direction a shot then and fuck off, ero-cook!

[- and slashes them back apart across the sole to throw Sanji backwards. His guard is ready immediately, right hip angled slightly forward so if he does need to draw Wado, depending on exactly how much of a black mood Sanji's in, he's got a few extra inches of space closed, less distance for his hand to travel, shaving off precious microseconds from the potential draw. ]

[Zoro knows very well Sanji can't do that now! Then he'd just be doing what Zoro told him to do, and that is not allowed. Ever. It has to be his own idea.

Gritting his teeth, Sanji rides the momentum of Zoro's double slash and is sent soaring upward. He turns upside down during the ascent before, following a deep breath, he kicks the air hard and fast enough to send him rocketing downward at double the speed.]

You first, ya shitty swordsman!

[That still-sparking dress shoe is now on a crash course for Zoro's broad forehead. If his eyebrows are dartboards, then Zoro's forehead is a wide open pasture!

So there.]

[ Yeah, there it is. ]

[ Zoro whips his left hand across himself, Kitetsu folding underneath the trio of saya as he hooks his thumb around Wado and pulls her out without slowing; she clacks into his mouth in perfect time for him to twist his body, tilt his head, spin his fingers the other way around Kitetsu's hilt, and cross all three swords at a single point above his right shoulder where his head had been brief moments ago. Sanji's shoe collides hard enough to send him skidding several yards backwards, his own boots puffing up trailing clouds of dust and dirt. ]

[ As soon as the momentum slows, though, he turns his heel and kicks off, several running strides building speed for him to rocket forward, twisting hips and shoulders into a spin, whirling all three blades around himself as he closes in on the cook. ]

I'm not the one who's lost, swirly-brow!

You wouldn't even notice if you were!

[That's the tragedy of the marimo disease. Perhaps Sanji's tragedy, however, is that he can't just ignore it.

He kicks off a microsecond after Zoro. This is it. Zoro's brought out sword number three, so this is going to be the final strike. While Zoro spins, Sanji cartwheels, mounting his own momentum. As soon as they're within reach, he plants his palm to the earth and twirls in the opposite direction as Zoro. One leg twists to intercept Zoro's right hand, the second leg to intercept Zoro's left before he shoves off the ground again, fully intending to push both of Zoro's hands up into his jaw and thus immobilize all three of Zoro's blades.

It's an all or nothing move. If Zoro manages to swing Wado anyway, Sanji won't be able to stop himself in time to dodge. That doesn't matter now though. Sanji's in an all or nothing mood.]

[ If Zoro were anyone else, that move would see him with the backs of both his swords slamming into his windpipe and choking him half to death. But he's not anyone else. He's Roronoa Zoro, and this is Black-Leg Sanji. ]

[ So when they hit, it's with a sound like a train derailing. ]

[ He could see Sanji's trajectory as it happened, just managing to twist his wrists so that the soles of Sanji's shoes collide with his blades instead of crushing the bones in his hands. That gives him no room to swing Wado, though, so the tilt of his head instead braces her behind Kitetsu and Shusui on purpose, an extra brace to keep Sanji from kicking his arms back, keep from leaving his chest open. ]

[ When the split second of blades vibrating against flaming soles ends, it's with equal momentum directly against equal momentum, and with swords and shoes both too strong to shatter the only direction is to bounce, leaving Zoro flying back -

- and tumbling backwards ass over tea kettle. ]

[ So much for the waves of supernatural confusion not getting to him; in trying to land he may have lost directional sense of which way was up. ]

[ He rolls about a dozen times before finally finding his footing, ending with a skid backward and his blades back on guard and literally all of him dusted with dirt and gravel and blades of grass. He literally gapes for a full second. ]

[ And then starts laughing like he's just been privy to the funniest joke in the world. ]

Hah!, holy shit!

[ He pulls Wado out of his mouth, grinning, smacking at an edge of his coat to puff off a few clouds of dust and making absolutely no difference at all. That was sure different. ]

Fucking hell! You better not be laughing at me over there!

[That stomping sound is definitely two extinguished dress shoes stalking their way over like their owner is King Kong.]

I can't handle more than one shitty bouncing rubber on this crew!

[ Honestly that just makes Zoro laugh all the louder. ]

[ Sanji's shoes are out so he just sheathes his swords instinctively, a non-thought, the blow-up part of the fight over for now. (Always for now.) ]

Yeah yeah don't get your brow twisted the other way. [ He lifts his hand to scrabble through his hair, poofing up a cloud of dust around his entire head. ] Nice to see you too and everything.

[ The delivery is shitty and sarcastic as hell but maybe he means it on some level. Maybe. ]

Test Drive Meme #34

oooh, nice! it sure helped me out.

i'm glad! o/ i am not really doing games anymore but i'm on plurk if you wanna chat!

i'm shogunsensual on plurk! add if you dare.

♡

no subject

1/3?

2/3

no subject

no subject

no subject