dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #34

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: OOZES GEOMETRICALLY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

The only warning you may get is the squish slick sound of movement before a gelatinous cube is upon you. Leaving gross trails behind them and with their see-through bodies filled with the bones of those that they've dissolved in their jelly, these cubes have no real vulnerability other than their limited movement.

Gelatinous cubes are exactly what it says on the tin, giant translucent cubes of jelly whose main attack tactic seems to be cornering people in small hallways and just sort of absorbing them into its mass. They then digest all meat and flesh and leave only floating bones and various metals their victim may have been wearing stashed inside of their jiggling forms.

Maybe it's time to apologize for the last time you brought a jelly mold to a potluck.]

A L L

SCENARIO TWO: MY LOYAL SERVANTS
[Thanks for your service to the gods! In order to power each of them up, it's up to you to pick a deity you like most (or dislike least, as it were) and simply say their name in order to be influenced by them and encouraged to inspire their emotion in others!

What, you don't want to play? Too bad, accidental name calling works just as well, even if you didn't mean to incite them- you'll feel their presence pulling their chosen emotion out in you anyway. Hope you picked a good one!

This is a mini version of our In Need Of A Boat event this month.]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: I MISS GPS
[Sure, you might be a little confused at being here at first, but that generally goes away within a few days. This time... well, this time, that feeling of befuddlement isn't quite going away. Roads that you take seem to disappear behind you when you turn around, your right turns are left turns on the map you're following, and you're pretty sure that everyone except for you put their shirt on backwards this morning.

Is everyone high? What they're saying makes absolutely no sense to you. You can't find your way out of a paper bag, let alone back to where you've been staying lately. Is that a dog or is it an eldritch horror coming up to lick at your calves?

During this prompt, everything will feel off and it can be very difficult to get your bearings at all. That's Confusion for you!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Wait, wait, wait! Does this mean-?]

You'll be sailing with Law then?

[It's almost too good to be true! There's going to be a beautiful woman on board! If the gods aren't looking after him, then someone else certainly is! He's already ten times more pumped for this trip now.]

Never fear! I'll use only the freshest, most nutritional ingredients when preparing your meals! I'll make sure everything's to your taste!

[That's... not what she's asking, but hey. At least he's earnest.]

That's right. So you've met him already? Good, that simplifies things. I hope he's explained the situation to you.

[She has no title, no role. She invited herself onto the crew before there was a crew to be assembled. It's been a very convenient arrangement so far.

Caedra also doesn't need to eat, but you'd better believe she appreciates gourmet fare when she can get it, and grins at his assurances. Unimportant, not what she had asked, no, but - Sanji so far sounds like he's willing to end up her personal servant and she will never say no to that.]

I look forward to it. What sort of things do you often prepare?

[Sanji will literally fight for his right to be her number one servant. Beautiful women deserve to be pampered, and he is the man who will serve them hand and foot!

He jabs his thumb proudly at his chest.]

I can make anything you ask as long as I have the ingredients. Anything, I guarantee it! If I couldn't do that much, I couldn't call myself a chef.

Anything! Well. I'm sure we'll be limited out at sea to whatever we can bring, and fish. I don't even know if we'll find more land out there. But there's an orchard not too far from here that has a few things growing in it that may or may not be edible. I suppose you'll just have to experiment.

[Hmm, what else? Not because she wants to help him, no; simply because she's starting to really relish the idea of having a cook again. She hasn't had any of the lavish fare she had grown used to at Ironhold since arriving here, aside from that one night early on when the false gods threw them all some bizarre sort of party. What else...]

There's some alcohol at a little place called the 'Speakeasy' on... one of the islands. The south one, I think. It's made here and I believe the owner is coming with us. You ought to ask her if she'll let you bring a good selection on board. Her name is Rey. Ah, and - if any of the city residents look edible to you, just know that when killed, their bodies seem to disappear after a while when they're revived.

[All said as casually as discussing livestock, with vague disappointment. It's really a shame; meat that isn't fish or mysterious and canned is awfully hard to come by here.]

Ah-

[This is quite the wave of useful information! Leave it to a well-armed woman to know exactly what to say. If only he could write it all down.]

Orchard, Speakeasy, don't eat the innocent townsfolk. Got it! But you said "her"?

[He simply can't help the stupid smile that overtakes his lips. He's gonna have twice the eye candy! This is what he chooses to focus on, rather than dealing with that last, vaguely uncomfortable word: revived.]

I'll have to pay a visit right away!

[Rey is going to absolutely hate him and the thought of that warms Caedra's awful little heart.]

Yes, you should. Make sure to get her finest. I particularly enjoy red wines. Go on, then - and perhaps you can find an unused house to store the provisions in until the ship is ready.

[There's still the question of - where are those places? Caedra usually knows, could easily point him in the right way since she does actually want him to be useful, but the false gods must be up to something again because she knows plenty of information but not how to send him off to do these things. She gestures to the air as if to point him off to go somewhere but then sort of... falters. Shakes her head.]

Well. I'm sure you'll find it.

[He'll return her hate with unbridled love and lavish attention. Thus the cycle will continue, I'm sure.

Caedra gets similar treatment. Sanji staggers backward after her dismissal, throwing a hand to his chest.]

But to leave you so soon would be heresy! Heresy against my pure and pounding heart! I must at least accompany you to your destination! What kind of man would leave a fairy tale princess alone in this enchanted forest?

[Well, enchanted park at least. Because it's definitely not his own fault he doesn't know how he got here or where here is. It has to be the park's fault.]

[Caedra certainly doesn't need or want any sort of escort as she's more than capable of handling herself - but she's quite happy to keep someone around who seems willing to wait on her hand and foot. Still - fairy tale princess? Really?]

... Are you mocking me?

[He's genuinely surprised by this assertion, though only enough to immediately deny it. That hadn't been his intention!]

Not at all! [He spreads his arms wide as he reassures her.] This entire situation feels like it's right out of a fairy tale. In that case, isn't it fitting that the princess would arrive just in time to guide the hero to his mission? And as the hero, he'd have to return her favor somehow!

[Guess who never dismissed her sword? This girl.

But she is trying so hard not to use it right now. Doesn't need to attract that sort of attention right before they're likely to set out to sea in case some of these people try to make real on their threats to imprison her like they had Sato, whoever he was. This guy might be new, might not have friends, but word will spread anyway.

Ugh, she hates this place and these people so much. She stops, hesitates, about to remind him who holds the power here, but holds herself back. He wants to underestimate her? Fine. She'll play along; it wouldn't be the first time she had allowed someone to act as a protector she doesn't need. Playing the innocent, defenseless girl had earned her a pistol from Percy and lessons on how to use it, or it will when he's finished making it. Sometimes it pays off.

The moment of hesitation vanishes, and is replaced by a gentle smile as she sweeps a lock of hair aside, tucking it behind her own ear.]

Yes, of course. Your earnesty caught me off-guard. It seems there aren't many here who understand how to actually be a gentleman. You'll have to lead by example, I'm afraid.

[It's Sanji's principle to treat even the most hardened of warrior women like the women they are. He's underestimating her, certainly, but it's not her power or capability he's underestimating. It's her motives. The fact that she's sailing with Law, that she's given him valuable information that will help everyone on that ship in the long run, means that he hasn't bothered with haki despite never having met her. He's happy to trust Law's judgment... and his own raging libido.]

Ah, that's troubling to hear. [And yet, he chuckles darkly.] I'll have to give them a crash course then.

[He reaches out his hand for her to take but suddenly falters. With a shake of his head, he drops the hand into his pants pocket and bows instead.

Maybe this pitfall is because of her obvious distrust of his chivalry. He wants her to be comfortable, after all. But then again, his cheery smile had wavered for just a moment too.]

Lead the way, Miss Caedra! No matter which direction we take, we'll reach the coast eventually. I'll get you somewhere familiar, no matter how long it takes.

Test Drive Meme #34

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