dankmemes | test drive meme # 35

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!test drive

test drive meme # 35

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open August 25th, and apps are open September 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: GET YOUR RED CAPE READY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

And they sure are big boys. Big and easily angered and ready to run right over you. This time, the Door has brought in Brontos, from the video game Dragon Age.

Brontos are large oxen-like beasts, though more sure-footed due to spending all their time in caves underground. There are domesticated brontos, bred to haul and be ridden and eaten... but these aren't those. These brontos are wild, one and all, and they are skittish and large and perfectly capable of running you over. Maybe just keep your distance.]

SCENARIO TWO: DESERTED
[You're alone. Completely alone, as far as you can tell. Nothing here works - oh, there's food in the stores, sure, but the water's not running, the electricity isn't working. There's not a soul on the streets, where you would normally expect to see at least a few people here and there.

So what will you do? Smash windows and grab food from the stores? (Well, the doors are all unlocked, but hey, who doesn't love smashing windows.) Shout in the streets in hopes someone will hear? Curl into a ball and cry? All valid choices. But then, what will you do when you do find someone, after thinking you were all alone? Someone you like, someone you hate, a complete stranger?

This is a mini version of our Deserted event this month.]

S O R R O W

SCENARIO THREE: ONE MORE CHANCE
[You can't stop thinking about the one who got away. They've been on your mind - well, it feels like forever, but maybe it's only been a few days. A few hours. But you can't stop thinking about them and regretting what could have been.

Maybe it's a failed romance. Maybe a broken friendship. Maybe a family member who walked away - or who you walked away from. Even a business partner who things ended poorly with. Whatever it was, you regret how things went down. If only you had another chance, a chance to fix things!

And then, there they are. The person you've been thinking of. What will you do? Beg forgiveness? Make amends? Run away? Make your decision and take action, because as soon as you do it you might realize it was never that person at all. You might have just poured out your heart and begged forgiveness from a complete stranger.]

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[ He has his back against the crate, shoving it with all his strength. But the moment he hears any sound that means he's not alone he springs back, grabbing for something from within the pile of food.

A sledgehammer. On the scale of things that are intimidating, a clearly malnourished man wielding a sledgehammer rates somewhere around the same level of terror as a kitten with a knife taped to it.]

What.. ? Who?

[ He blinks in surprise, not really understanding what he's looking at. There's the armor, the fact she's gigantic compared to him, and that she doesn't look human at all. He hesitates, normally he'd have turned and fled immediately when confronted with someone far stronger than him ~~everyone~~. But he's been alone now for days and it's doing terrible things to his already tenuous mental stability. She doesn't seem to be aggressive so he lowers the sledgehammer a bit, still on edge but trying to not panic. ]

Hi. I'm.. [ Okay, time to catch his breath a bit because he is tired as hell from shoving this thing around.] I'm Deputy Pratt.

[ The thing he brandishes looks more like a farming tool than a proper weapon. Kettara tips her head to one side, then the other, considering him. She's seen smaller things, Kettara supposes. The goblins, certainly. But there are goblin shaman, and that elevates them in her mind.

That, and goblins have proper ears. Humans have strange, round ones. It's very disconcerting. ]

Hello, Deputy Pratt.

[ Kettara blinks at him. ]

Are we going to fight? I don't think that would be fair.

[He bristles. Wanting to start a fight just to prove that he's not weak, that he can defeat anything. But he's not stupid enough to think he can take her. She'd probably end him in one punch. Instead he sets his weapon back down on the crate, hoping a show of non-violence won't encourage her to attack him.]

I'm not looking for a fight. Was looking for food. Everyone's gone, there's no electricity, the phones don't work.... eventually there'll be no more food and water. Gotta be prepared.

[Like the good apocalypse prepper he is, his entire house is filled with bottles of water and non-perishable food. But you can never be too careful or have enough. Hence this entire pallet of vegetable soup that's coming with him back home.]

[ That's better, Kettara thinks. If he were a warrior, it would be fine. They'd fight and whoever was better would win honorably. But he's not a warrior, not in the way she understands. It's the duty of a shaman to be fair in their dealings. To maintain balance.

She sniffs the air, watching him. ]

I can make water. It's not hard. What is a "phone"?

Make... water?

[He's both confused and horrified, half thinking she's talking about pissing in a bottle and drinking it.]

Oh. A ... communication device? Like a walkie-talkie?

[He's encountered people without cell phones before, but not people who'd never heard of them. He pulls it out to show her before remembering it doesn't work so it's just a black rectangular paperweight.]

Well, if it worked right now it would light up and I could call people. But the whole network is down. I've no idea where the satellites or powerplants are so I can't try and get things back up. Not even seen a powerline.

Call it, [ she clarifies. He seems confused. She cups her hands together and murmurs a request to the spirits of water. Listen to me, she whispers, and make him see. Make him trust.

Water pools in her cupped hands, then spills over down her arms. ]

Walkie...talkie...?

[ She squints, letting the water fall from her hands. It looks like a strange black stick. ]

Oh. You are an engineer. I understand.

[ Kettara nods sagely. She doesn't understand engineers or the things they build, but she knows they exist. If this man has such a thing, then clearly he is an engineer. ]

Jesus Christ!

[He jumps back, nearly falling over because that water sure just manifested into her hands like it was nothing. He's never actually witnessed a miracle before and he's somewhere between curious and terrified.]

How the fuck did you do that?!

[Inching a bit closer he eyes the water puddled around her feet. Sure looks real.]

I'm not... not an engineer. I'm a cop. Was a cop. Deputy. How did you make water out of nothing?

[So coherent.]

[ This human is very skittish. Like a bird, Kettara thinks. Only he hasn't attacked or fled like a bird would.

Strange. She doesn't understand humans at all. ]

Deputy. That's a rank, isn't it? But you're not a soldier.

[ She'd be able to tell, wouldn't she? The humans maintain armies just like the Horde does, and this man, this Deputy Pratt doesn't wear the colors of any group she recognizes. And he doesn't move like the warriors she knows.

This place is very strange, and wrong in ways that sets her teeth on edge. The spirits answer readily enough when she calls, but there are no animals, no insects. Only dust and nothing. ]

It doesn't come from nothing. There's water in the air. I just asked the spirits to change shape. Only mages can make things out of nothing.

I'm not a solider in his army. Not yet. I haven't passed the trials.

[ He's still looking at the water, then her hands, back at the ground. HOW? ]

You're condensing it somehow? Out of the humidity?

[Not only is he not an engineer, he's not much for science so that's about the extent of his knowledge of how weather works. Spirits? Mages? He knows someone who claims they're an alchemist, but he sort of assumed he meant more in the new age patchouli way instead of the turn lead into gold way. This is a whole new level.]

I don't understand.

Oh, I understand. Will you be a soldier soon? [ Like the trials she would have underwent to become a woman, if things had been different. In that world, Kettara thinks she would have been a warrior like her mother. Sometimes she envies that world and all the things that might have been.

In this one, she has a duty. She will never forsake it.

Kettara frowns at him.]

No. I asked it to change shape. I'm a shaman of the Earthen Ring. But you might not be able to do that. I've never heard of a human working with the elements.

As soon as I'm strong enough.

[So never.]

Change shape. You.. asked it? It's water, it doesn't talk.

It doesn't talk does it?

[ Kettara wrinkles her nose. He doesn't seem very strong. But there are different ways of calculating strength, she knows, metrics beyond her understanding. The humans won the first war, after all. They were small and funny smelling and so very skinny and they won. ] Who determines that?

[ It's asked with genuine curiosity. He's here, so she might as well learn about humans and their weird customs. ]

Don't you feel the elements around you? They have personalities, quirks. They want things.

[ Kettara watches him curiously. ]

Of course they talk. Maybe humans aren't good at listening.

We don't even listen to each other, let alone water.

[ He hesitates before continuing, feeling foolish for asking, but he's curious.]

What does it say?

Oh.

[ Privately, Kettara thinks that explains a lot about humans. At the question, she looks away. ]

I - I don't know. It's....quiet. Like it's trying to speak, but I can't quite hear it.

Probably because of this place.

[ Yeah that's it. And not because it's water and it can't talk. But he's not going to antagonize the much bigger Kettara who looks like she could end him without much trying. ]

Nothing works the way it's supposed to here.

There's something wrong here. Just - everywhere.

[ She doesn't have names for the wrongness, either, which worries her. If it's something completely unknown, she could be blindsided. But at least she's not completely alone? Kettara supposes that's all right. Deputy Pratt is a human and has their weird round ears, but he's not as bad as some of the others.

Kettara wrinkles her nose, then nods at the mess of supplies he's gathered. She might as well be helpful. ]

I can carry that for you.

Oh. Uh...

[His hesitation is palpable. For starters it would be admitting weakness to not be able to do it himself. And then there's the fact that she might just take all his stuff. She was obviously stronger than him, what would he do, bite her ankles?]

You don't have to. I got myself into this mess by taking too much.

Do you.. want any? It's mostly soup.

[ Kettara tips her head to the side, watching Pratt. He's nervous again. ]

All right. I can make more water. For the soup. Or if you need any.

[ That way it's more like a trade. ]

Ah.

[He hadn't considered that. And while she seems convinced that she manifested water from what was already there, he's still under the impression this is some sort of magic demon water that might kill him instantly.

Still... a source of fresh water is always a good thing should all the municipalities go down.]

Thanks. A trade then.

[He manages a small smile, digging through some of the bags.]

I've got rice and vegetable, cream of mushroom, corn chowder and lentil. What do you like?

[ There is a disappointing lack of meat in those options. Kettara shrugs. ] The mushroom one, I guess. Is there anything to hunt around here?

[ She really, really wants some protein. Real protein, the kind that bleeds. ]

[Lucky for her she found one of the only vegetarians on the island.]

There's bugs. Really big bugs, but I'm not sure if you'd want to eat them. And.. fish.

This place doesn't have a lot of wildlife or wilderness for hunting. Not like where I come from, it's a hunting paradise back in Montana.

[ Blasphemy. ]

Oh. I can make a spear, for fishing.

[ It's not as fun as running your prey down, but Kettara is pragmatic when she needs to be. If she needs to eat, then she'll eat. ]

What is Montana like?

[Hey he'd been a big hunter and all about venison until he was fed dog food and his dead friends for months. ]

Spear-fishing? Huh, never tried that before.

Lots of trees, lots of deer. Everything is very green, there's a bunch of little lakes with rivers connecting them full of big fat happy fish. At night you can see every star in the heavens. Big Sky Country.

[Boy he sounds wistful. He misses it so much.]

[ She'd understand if she knew but since she doesn't....blasphemy. ]

It's not hard. And it helps, if a crocolisk is trying to eat you.

[ Durotar is not an easy place to live. Kettara smiles a little as Pratt describes Montana. ]

Big Sky Country. I like that. You can see a long way at night, in Durotar. But it's not green at all. Barely anything grows there.

No crocodiles in Montana.

[Yep. That's definitely what she said. Crocodiles.]

Is it a desert? There's a weird sort of beauty to deserts at sunset.

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