dankmemes | test drive meme # 35

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open August 25th, and apps are open September 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: GET YOUR RED CAPE READY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

And they sure are big boys. Big and easily angered and ready to run right over you. This time, the Door has brought in Brontos, from the video game Dragon Age.

Brontos are large oxen-like beasts, though more sure-footed due to spending all their time in caves underground. There are domesticated brontos, bred to haul and be ridden and eaten... but these aren't those. These brontos are wild, one and all, and they are skittish and large and perfectly capable of running you over. Maybe just keep your distance.]

SCENARIO TWO: DESERTED
[You're alone. Completely alone, as far as you can tell. Nothing here works - oh, there's food in the stores, sure, but the water's not running, the electricity isn't working. There's not a soul on the streets, where you would normally expect to see at least a few people here and there.

So what will you do? Smash windows and grab food from the stores? (Well, the doors are all unlocked, but hey, who doesn't love smashing windows.) Shout in the streets in hopes someone will hear? Curl into a ball and cry? All valid choices. But then, what will you do when you do find someone, after thinking you were all alone? Someone you like, someone you hate, a complete stranger?

This is a mini version of our Deserted event this month.]

S O R R O W

SCENARIO THREE: ONE MORE CHANCE
[You can't stop thinking about the one who got away. They've been on your mind - well, it feels like forever, but maybe it's only been a few days. A few hours. But you can't stop thinking about them and regretting what could have been.

Maybe it's a failed romance. Maybe a broken friendship. Maybe a family member who walked away - or who you walked away from. Even a business partner who things ended poorly with. Whatever it was, you regret how things went down. If only you had another chance, a chance to fix things!

And then, there they are. The person you've been thinking of. What will you do? Beg forgiveness? Make amends? Run away? Make your decision and take action, because as soon as you do it you might realize it was never that person at all. You might have just poured out your heart and begged forgiveness from a complete stranger.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's Anode, actually.

[ who's this jesus person? who cares. imminent threat to life, and anode's already had one very-near-death experience in recent memory, she doesn't want another, thanks. she presses against the wall, trying to get out of sight. ]

Hey, you wanna shove over a bit? I'm hoping that if that thing can't see me it'll just keep running and become somebody else's problem.

[ Baffled staring. Jesse shoves away from the wall, though, taking a quick step back to assert some space between himself and this Daft Punk looking weirdness. Man, what is all that shit? Armour? ...Does it matter? No. It doesn't matter. Know what matters way more than this bizarreness right here? The bizarreness out there. Jesse's baffled staring swings towards out there. ]

D... D-D'you even know where the hell we're...?! I-I mean, I— [ Baffled gaze snapping back onto... Anode? That what this thing said their name is? (For real, though? Anode?) ] I-I swear to God, yo, I was just— I was literally just at home, yo, and-and then—!

[ His mouth lapsing back into forming wordless shapes. He flings the hand that isn't clutching his flip phone out in gesture towards the arena to say what he can't find the words for, with an emphatically confounded thrust. ]

Yeah, yeah, and I was just on a planet run by a guy who goes around saving people from certain death and then putting them in comas for five hundred years. I get it, guy, you're a long way from home, and no, I don't have the slightest clue where we are now.

[ and for some reason, she's grinning just a little bit. but then she rolls her eyes and grabs the front of jesse's shirt in her hand and pulls him back towards the wall. she's about 9 feet tall and also a robot, so it doesn't take much effort. ]

C'mon, keep your head down! If that thing sees you it'll head straight toward us, and I've already been gored through the middle once this week.

[ Jesse's eyes widen at that huge hand coming at him. He struggles, but it's kind of hugely comical, because look how much of a skinny little bitch Jesse is compared to this SheBot here. It really doesn't take any effort at all to drag him against the wall. He realises, to his utter dread-filled dismay while mid-struggle, that this thing could crush him like a soda can if it wanted to. His hands fling up in surrender. ]

Wh-whoa, b-be cool, be cool! [ At least his stuttering has dropped several decibels, to a shrill whisper. ] Keeping my head down, I s-swear!

[ god, what is with this panicky, wriggling organic? generally anode feels positive to ambivalent about organics, but this guy...come on, guy. ]

You be cool. I'm not the one about to blow a circuit over a little danger.

[ clearly she is used to this kind of thing. she might even enjoy it a little. well, not the actually getting injured part.

the beast charges well past wall, and for a moment it looks like it'll keep going...and then it does an abrupt u-turn, staring down jesse and anode. it's clearly not done with them. she pokes him in the head, her voice also dropped to a whisper. ]

Hey. How much d'you weigh?

[ —Oh my god, that thing! It's— right there, right in front of them! Jesse's mouth drops open, a shriek almost escaping, though he manages by some instinctual sense of survival to stay silent. He flattens himself against the wall, though, a scramble of feet, eyes so wide they might bulge right out. Oh my god, why is this happening. Why is this happening.

And, yo, that poke to his head - Jesse nearly jumps six feet in the air. His eyes tear away from the beast to SheBot. ]

...Wh-What? [ That comes out a confounded, outraged whisper. Outraged because his brain hasn't caught up with the relevance of the question yet. How much does he weigh? He tries to think through his flooding terror short-circuiting his head. ] L-Less than you?!

[ oh my god, this guy is a wimp. not to be racist or anything, anode's got nothing against organics, but so many of them are just kind of huge weenies. this guy really takes the cake, though. anode rolls her eyes. ]

Yeah, that's real helpful. [ they don't have a lot of time. ] When I say now, grab onto me.

[ LISTEN. If Jesse knew what this bot giant was thinking, and if he wasn't in a life-or-death situation, he'd go full Jesse Pinkman Dramatics™ right about now. As it happens...

Well. Jesse is close to hyperventilatating. Peering up at the robot, a tiny thing shadowed by this towering hunk of metal, his mouth trembling into a terrified grimace. He nods, urgent and compliant and understanding. ]

O-Okay, man. Yeah. [ Whispered. Oh, but— His brow furrows, his eyes roaming quickly all over the expanse of metal. Where will he grab on?

The Bronto snorts at the same time, kicking up dust with a scrape of its hoof along the ground, and that's enough for Jesse: Mouth twisting open into a silent shriek, he lunges at the robot and flings his arms around the first thing he can latch onto - which is the robot's leg. Wrapping himself around it, koala-style. ]

Edited 2018-08-30 11:55 (UTC)

[ it's probably best that he doesn't know what she's thinking, or else he might have freaked out more. just as soon as jesse grabs hold of her, she leaps into the air, quickly transforming -- and then instead of a leg, jesse is now holding onto one of the tail wings on a biplane. he's a lot heavier in relation to her than she's used to carrying, and she struggles to gain altitude. ]

Jeez, pal, you weigh a ton --

[ but with another burst of her engines, she gains enough air to escape the bronto, jesse's feet barely clearing its head. ]

test drive meme # 35

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scrEAM i didn't realise she was that tall HAHA I LOVE IT

GOOD BC I LOVE THIS THREAD (she is usually...MUCH taller)

Jesse and Transformers is one of my fave things JSYK

GOOD BECAUSE THIS IS QUICKLY BECOMING ONE OF MY FAV THINGS

so mad i had to work, i just wanted ridic pinKMAN & ROBOT CRACK

ITS GOOD SHIT