dankmemes | test drive meme # 38

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test drive meme # 38

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC MOTHERFUCKER
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Of course, a War Unicorn may not seem too lethal, but anyone who's seen Cabin in the Woods knows that they pack a powerful, uh, stab (cw for gore). War Unicorns are mighty beasts, larger than most horses and made of raw muscle. They might seem cute and cuddly in concept, but they're trained to use their horns to blind their opponents before trampling over them with their ironclad hooves and their two thousand pound bulk.

Want to try to bring one down? It's harder than it looks, thanks to their natural magic resistance- many offensive abilities and spells simply don't work on them, and you might piss them off if you try, so be careful...]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: REMEMBER ME
[It may have just been a brush against the shoulder, a quick handshake, a simple hug- but at the first touch of skin on skin, suddenly you see the other person's memories. This can range anywhere from a recent moment to something traumatic from their past and can be done willingly, if you like.

Of course, once you realize what's going on, you might want to bundle up and avoid contact with everyone- though you might look a little strange, so don't be surprised if someone asks you what you're doing!

This is a mini version of our Memories Past event this month.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y

SCENARIO THREE: PASS THE TURKEY
[It's that special time of year again, where you get to hang out with people you only kinda sorta know and catch up with every other month or so and pretend that you're all really close for the sake of food.

Because of course, there's a splendid feast waiting for you- juicy turkey and warm stuffing and your very favorite potato dish! The only downside is that you have to spend your evening with these losers, but we're sure you'll find something to talk about!

Well- maybe not religion, relationships, or politics. How 'bout that weather we're having?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dante would raise his eyebrows at Sal if he wasn't so used to weird at this point. A random mask doesn't even faze him. And he looks over with a cocky sort of grin at Sal's comment, he's a bit arrogant but there's nothing malicious in his expression. He's just an excessive, bratty kid with a good heart, good food, and now fun company. Sal's not a pretty girl, but this could be way worse. At least the masked dude has a sense of humor.]

Rules are meant to be broken. [Dante shoves a mouthful of turkey into his mouth, chews, and swallows. Oh yeah, this is good. Not as good as his mom's cooking, but still really nice.] This is one hell of a prison, right? Captivity with Thanksgiving. They're really pulling out all the stops.

[He can definitely understand the sentiment behind that. Though Sal might consider rules being changed rather than broken, but he's not going to get into that right now, so he simply gives a thoughtful nod to his head at that statement.]

You see it as a prison?

[He's more curious sounding than anything. His head is inclined a little and there's a questioning glint in his eyes. But he does add on;] I guess I don't blame anyone for feeling that way.

At least they don't make us wear orange.

Prison sounds a hell of a lot better than kidnapping. [He's here against his will, he's not sure what else to call it. It's not like he jumped in and went "Hey, it's a good day to dive through a random portal into a strange world with monsters and turkey". He just came, waking up in a place that makes less sense than the infernal realms.

Now that he thinks about it, it's like a crazy trip down the rabbit hole. But he's not going to bother long with that train of thought.]

I'd like to see them try to make me wear a jumpsuit. [If his lack of shirt if any indication, Dante doesn't go with most people's idea of fashion. Or safe outerwear for warm weather.] Who's in charge here anyway?

[Sal's not exactly what one would consider a fashionable sort himself.]

Oh, shit. You're new. Sorry. Uh, there are these beings that call themselves gods? But I think there's just not a word for whatever they are that we can understand. That's what they say, anyway.

[Sal's not going to be so naive as to think that their word should be taken 100%. But, he sort of believes it. If they thought they were actual gods, well, they don't act like them? Whatever that means, honestly...]

Anyway, one of them brought us here, Fear I think. Not sure if "in charge" really fits. They keep us alive and we keep them energized. It's like, symbiotic, you know?

[He and Dante know what they like. Who cares what Milan and Paris think? They're mainstream and stupid anyway. Leather and semi-goth with masks is the way to go.]

Yeah? Too bad for them. I'm an atheist. [He's really unimpressed now, why is it always some asshole with a god complex? Why can't the bad guy just be an asshole because they're an asshole? Not because of some lofty arrogance?

It's annoying as all hell.] I guess this is what Fear considers buying me dinner first. You'd think they'd be a little more open about it, but hey, I'll take what I can get. [He's sure as hell not going to be an easy toy for them.]

[He does kinda laugh a little at that.]

I don't think Fear bothers trying to lure us in with a false sense of security, so the dinner is probably from one of the other gods, if it helps. Tranquility, maybe? I don't know, I only met Hope so far.

[He realizes this probably sounds really weird to a new person, so he'll just...stop right there.]

I'm Sal by the way, but my friends call me Sally Face. [Kind of his low key way of saying it's cool if he does too.] You literally just got here, huh? Welcome to Hadriel.

So they come out and play sometimes? How nice.

[Dante nods, he's heard way weirder names and nicknames, and even if he likes playing solitary lone wolf he's a social butterfly so being told low key or otherwise that he's allowed to use a nickname is kind of cool somehow. He usually doesn't get people who want to spend extended amounts of time with him, but he's always excited about it when someone who isn't annoying does. And to have someone he just met be warm to him without being gross about it, or act like they're about to kill him is a plus too.] Yeah, the name's Dante. You can say I'm the newest attraction to Hadriel. Too bad no one did any advertising, they could have made a killing in ticket sales.

["Come out and play". This guy is pretty intense, huh? Sal is kind of busy laughing a little to think on that further, though. So far he thinks Dante is pretty funny, and unsurprisingly — because it's Sal, he likes him already.]

What would your advertisement say? You gotta have a pitch, right?

[Dante goes hard, always. If the situation calls for it or not. This is the guy that punched his jukebox to get it playing again when it was broken. The dude who decided to fight a hoard of demons while still embedded with the scythes they tried to kill him with. The young man who ran down the side of a building to get eaten by a monster.

Intense isn't the half of it.]

Damn right. One night only, Dante the slick demon hunter preforming live in Hadriel. Come one, come all, and get ready to get slayed. [Dante grins, there's a fun feeling somehow despite the situation at hand.] Bring earplugs, it's gonna get loud.

[Well, now that "little" bit of laughter is growing stronger. Sal well and truly appreciates a fun attitude, especially since sometimes he feels as if maybe he's failing to keep things light himself. A weird feeling of wanting to be happy, trying to be happy, and somehow failing at it. Sometimes it was good to have someone else be the one to lift the mood. Though, Dante doesn't seem to "life" the mood so much as he grabs it and tosses it into the atmosphere. Cool. It's familiar in an extremely exaggerated way.]

Dude, that's catchy as hell. I'd buy that ticket.

[Something caught his attention big time, though, despite all the fanfare going on.]

So, demon hunter, huh?

[Was that part of a joke, or was it real? Not knowing anything about this guy it was kind of hard for him to tell! Of course, with his physics defying talents he has there it's probably the latter.]

[Almost everything Dante does is exaggerated. It's like being over the top and ridiculous is embedded into his DNA. Maybe it's the demon blood within him, or maybe it's just something that comes from having a wild personality and rough go at things in his younger years.

No matter what the reason for his style, he's always ready to party. Even here at Hadriel.]

See? A man with good taste. [They're both kids, but Sal has somehow gotten Dante to warm up a little already. So he gets to be a 'man', and not a 'kid' in the description. Even though they're both young, and Dante only marginally older than Sal. It's the principle of the matter, though. And man means status.

Maybe. It's hard to tell with Dante.]

Jackpot. When hell breaks loose, someone's gotta mop up the mess. [Or more cause a mess. Dante will save the day, but someone else will need to be brought in for damage control.]

[Wow, literally no one has referred to him as a man before. Well, maybe his dad when he's being all...dad-like. He's a tiny kid even to teens his own age, so it's not like he blames them. It also doesn't really bother him, just a thing he notes.

But ah, that wasn't just something he said then, it seems like.]

Wow, and I thought ghost hunting was dangerous. [Well, Sal's brand of ghost hunting, which just leads to murder scenes and cult conspiracies apparently. And hostile red eyed demons. He's glad he hasn't seen more than one of those. He also doesn't count all that stuff yous see on T.V that's completely fake!!] Demon hunting is on a whole other level though. I guess it's easy for someone who casually defies physics though, haha.

[Sal isn't acting like a kid. Or speaking like one. So Dante's giving him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, not everyone can be comic book ripped. Dante would probably be a skinny little thing himself if he didn't have dear old dad's demon heritage to help him out on the genetics front.] Wouldn't know. Where I'm from, you don't see ghosts around. Twisted souls? Maybe. Humans can become demons that way. [And he hates it, he hates that corruption is such a part of humanity. That they don't even need help to be led down the path to hell.]

But actual ghosts? Ha, those are for Halloween specials. [He leans back a little more, before shoveling in some mashed potatoes. He doesn't particularly have nice manners, but he manages not to be gross somehow.] You into the supernatural?

["Twisted souls" makes him wince, but it barely shows through the holes of his mask. He's quick to wipe the look off his face, at any rate.]

It kind of sounds like the opposite where I'm from. I've only ever seen one demon but the ghosts are everywhere. [But to answer his question.] That kind of stuff really changes everything. But I guess I mostly want to know more about the other side to like, help them better, you know? They're pretty vague about what goes on there, though.

[It doesn't sound good at all, is what he thinks, but he refrains from saying as much.]

[It's quick, but Dante for all of his aloof acting is very perceptive and he notices something. It's hard to guess what the face was, with the mask covering most of his features, but it got a reaction from Sal. And he takes note of that.]

Yeah? That's cool. [He's about to say something else, but his mental train has left the station only to violently crash and derail.] Wait, you talk to dead people? That's hardcore.

[Sal snorts lightly. This guy is apparently a demon hunter and he just called talking to dead people hardcore. He supposes it's a testament to how different a person's perspective can be. Especially in a place like this, where some people acknowledge the craziest things as normal, and the most normal things as crazy.

Perspective. Yup.]

Dead people are kind of hardcore. I'm not sure what I expected them to be like before I even knew you could talk to them but nothing could ever really prepare me.

Like, did you know goats could become ghosts? Because I didn't until I saw one.

[Hey, for Dante it is hardcore stuff. Most humans don't even come across the supernatural in their day to day lives. And to find one that manages to handle it, that finds it interesting, and even seems to be unafraid? That's beyond hardcore. And Sal has definitely impressed Dante.]

Wait, seriously? Damn. What does a ghost goat even do?

[He knows that there are goat type demons, but Dante is a city kid. He's never seen a goat in person, so he doesn't know much about them.]

It bleats.

[Sal is also a city kid, so seeing a goat for the first time in person as a ghost sure was something else.]

Well, it took me a while but then I realized it was bleating in code? Helped me out of a jam. I wonder if that means goats are smarter than we give them credit for or being a ghost somehow enlightened it.

[He can sit here and ponder all day so he'll stop right there.]

Figures. I don't know what I was expecting.

[He listens though, and his eyes widen just a little at the idea that this is even possible. Yeah, that's pretty wild.] Damn. Maybe it was demon goat? They're pretty smart for hellspawn. But then again, if it was, it wouldn't be helping you. [Dante has no idea what to think.] Got any other weird ghost stories to share with the class? [He's more than willing to offer up some demons for show and tell.]

I sort of got the impression it was sacrificed, so maybe not a demon. Not that I know how that stuff works exactly.

[Can goats turn into demons? Who even knows? It certainly wouldn't be the most surprising thing he's seen, that's for sure.]

You know, that might have been the weirdest so far. It's hard to beat a ghost goat. Most of them are just sad, really. [And in the spirit of keeping this conversation from going down a somber road he'll avoid digging deeper in the department. At least for now.] What about you? You're a demon hunter, right? What are demons like?

Fun stuff. [His tone implies that it's anything but, though. With Dante, at least you don't have to wonder if he's being sarcastic or not.] You know, it'd be a hell of a lot better for everyone if humans kept out of the occult. Just sayin'.

[Dante blinks, and shakes his head. This is a big question, and hard to answer.] Well, there's a lot to it. There's demons, devils, demonic animals and spirits, demonically touched and altered people and even items too. And there's the whole theory of the Infernal planes and it's counterparts. Which is all boring. [He huffs.] You get some weirdos that are human sized, spider demons that explode with spider demon babies when they die, that's gross as all hell, demons that look like whale-snakes that are big enough to fit cities into, and the worst? Demons that look like people, and act like 'em too. But wait, there's more.

[Dante stops to take another bite or two. That was a mouthful.] Too much more.

On that we can agree.

[Humans should definitely keep out of the goddamn occult. Then maybe his apartment building wouldn't be plagued by this sense of impending doom constantly.

At any rate, Sal listens, sometimes sipping on the straw of his drink shoved under his mask for his own convenience as he does so. It's easy to tell he's held at rapt attention despite the covered face, marveling at the idea that something called "the infernal planes" could be considered boring. Then again, it's new to Sal so of course it doesn't seem it to him. But that just makes this conversation all the more interesting to him. The "demons that look and act like people" line sends a bit of a chill down his spine, so he avoids that bit.]

Whale-snakes big enough to fit cities into, huh? You actually, like, hunted something like that?

Yeah. Too bad we can't make everyone else get on the program.

[He can't keep all humans safe. They throw themselves into trouble, and drag innocent lives down to hell with them. And he hates that.]

Well, if I'm gonna be honest? It ate me, and the hunting took place inside and I killed it to get out. But that's how it is. The thing was huge.

[Sal's brows lift slowly, his eyes widening with them. His muffled voice raises a bit in awe.]

Dude...you killed it from the inside? That's pretty metal. [That sounds about as metal as you get, honestly.] So, you just do stuff like that all the time? Hunting demons and stuff 24/7?

[Okay Dante actually really likes him and he doesn't know what to do with a young person to hang with that isn't forced adult mode. This is fun and not violent and what the hell does he do now?]

Yeah, that's right. I had to find it's heart, and kill it that way. And then when it fell outta the sky I cut my way out through it's eyeball. [He grins, this is way too much fun to talk about.] Too bad it's blood stank up everything. I think my coat still smells like it. [He nods though, shoving food into his mouth means he has to wait for a second to answer.] Hmm, mmf. [Chew, chew. Swallow and back to his consistent chatting.] That's what I do. I mean, if I don't, who's gonna? Devil hunters aren't exactly easy to find.

test drive meme # 38

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