dankmemes | test drive meme # 41

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!test drive

test drive meme # 41

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open February 22nd, and apps are open March 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: JUST A SNACK
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Or monsters, as the case may be. It seems like the Door has decided to grace Hadriel with a small invasion of Fallen Angels, from the mobile game Food Fantasy. You might run into a Hamstero or a Forker, a Fanged Snail or a Purple Dumpling. Actually they're mostly... kind of cute.

But still dangerous, so watch your back! These Fallen Angels can really hurt. They go down pretty easy, but there are a lot of them, and they're happy to hit you with claws and teeth and whatever other weapons they have. Sadly, they will not let you hug them.

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: SOULMATES
[You look down, and all of a sudden you see something new: a name on your wrist, inscribed as if it's always been there. Maybe you recognize the name, maybe you don't - maybe you're happy to see it, or not at all. But it's there, and you can't wash it off, and you kind of want to know what's up with it.

So why not go looking for whoever the name belongs to? There aren't too many folks in the city, they can't be that hard to find. And when you do find them, prepare for the best new friend/lover/family member you've ever met. You'll get along like a house on fire - until the name on your wrist fades away.

This is a mini version of our Soulmates event this month.]

H O P E

SCENARIO THREE: SCRATCH-OFF
[In your hand there's a ticket. Scratch off the boxes, see if you win - it's a pretty straightforward concept. But the prize is the one thing you want most in the world, and if you can just scratch off the right boxes, maybe you'll get it!

The other prizes are... less enticing. Do you really need a whole turkey, or a new dishwasher, or a lifetime supply of hair removal strips? Maybe you do. But it's that big prize, that golden ticket, that you're hoping for. So scratch away, or find a buddy to help you choose the boxes, or find someone else with a ticket to compare yours to.

Let's just hope you don't run into someone who actually has won the prize... because after all, what's stopping you from just taking it?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Peter makes a face that could probably be translated into "no man, that's pretty old", but he's not going to argue. There are better hills to die on than how old counts as being old.]

I didn't know the dude even existed until I met him, so... ehh? [He shrugs, like, what can you do right?] I think Mr. Stark-- Tony Stark knew him... kind of? But even then all he said was "hey here's this wizard", so like, I can't really say just how they were associated?

[ peter's seen that face before, but he ignores it. (teenagers.) the fact that the kid knows stark is — well, it's something, but if he doesn't know that strange knows the rest of them, then—

—peter's world is a different world, or something drastically changes between 2006 and 2018. peter supposes the difference doesn't really matter. ] Yeah, the Doc likes to do his own thing. [ peter thinks it's a magic thing, and god knows he likes to try and avoid the whole magic thing. and tony is — tony. peter shrugs: it's a broadly similar shrug to (baby)peter's. ] Sounds like we're from close approximations of the same Earth. [ he concedes. ] And you keep some really weird company for a sixteen year old.

I'm seventeen.

[Not important. Moving on. There are way more interesting things to discuss right now.]

Even we're not from like, the exact same Earth, it's kind of blowing my mind that you have any idea of what I'm talking about at all.

[He's not gonna elaborate on the rest of that. Not yet, at least.

He'd stopped bothering to keep his powers and junk a secret here a couple months ago, it kind of seemed pointless when damn near everyone has freaky powers and magic. That, and secrets were surprisingly difficult to keep here in general anyway. This new Peter, though, tiny Peter isn't really sure what to make of him yet. He's used to dealing with people who know nothing at all about his world, or even worlds similar to it, so this is kind of throwing him for a loop.]

[ there's a huff of a laugh: peter knows peter is seventeen (he can do maths, okay), and peter correcting him is refreshingly normal. it's what he would have done when he was peter's age. ] Yeah? [ he's seen his past, his future — or, a future, and this is a touch easier to dissect and deal with than clones, though there's still the question of how and why they're here (he's going to blame strange until he has proof it isn't to do with mysticism now), and more importantly, how to get home. the fact that there are alternate universes interacting in one place is totally new, and he's going to have to think about it a little more to reach a conclusion he's satisfied with.

because even if it's not the worst thing he's dealt with? it's still a lot. there's still a lot to unpack.

(he'll get to it later.) ] What about Mr. Meat Arms? I really hope you don't call him that, by the way. Also: now we've got the magic portals and this maybe being Doctor Strange's fault out of the way: is there anything else I need to know? And we ought to think of a way to differentiate between the two of us, because us sharing a name [ "is really throwing off my internal monologue"; I need to stop talking to myself in my head— ] could get really confusing. [ beat. ] Are there any other Peters here?

[Good luck, buckeroo. Peter's been here five or six months and he still hasn't unpacked this can of worms. But that's probably because he's 17 and also still avoiding unpacking things from back home because y'know, healthy coping methods and all that.]

No, I don't call him that. He didn't even know what a cellphone was when I met him here so, I dunno. Time travel or something. That's another thing the Door does, it can snatch dudes up from the same world, but different times. So that's. A thing. Oh, speaking of cellphones, you should just magically have one on you somewhere because why not at this point, right? Someone's put together a guide for when new people show up which probably explains all this stuff way better than I could. That'll be on the phone.

[Now that the like, important stuff is out of the way, yeah. He's definitely not gonna just call this guy Big Peter and go by Little Peter because that's not cool. So let's just simplify things really good, right?]

We could just go by last names? I'm Peter Parker, you're Peter...?

[He waves a hand toward other peter, gesturing for him to chime in.]

Edited (the htmls 8() 2019-02-24 18:14 (UTC)

[ he nods and hunts through his pockets for this mysterious cell phone — aha! — and he's still listening even if it doesn't entirely look like he is whilst he's scrolling through the apps. okay, so it's not the phone he'd had on him when he'd been ...at home, but it's weirdly similar. oddly similar. what are the odds? not-earth and he's been given (question mark) an oddly earth-like phone. he opens his mouth to comment on the fact and maybe say something about phoning home when peter finishes speaking.

oh.

peter stares at him for one moment, then two, then closes his eyes and sighs. it's a deep sigh, a mixture of exasperation and tiredness.

—okay, cool. except really, totally not. ]

—I'm really glad we've had this conversation and established you're probably from an alternate version of my Earth, because I'm really not a fan of the direction it's about to take.

[So this just took a turn from a weird conversation straight into a weird but also kind of worrying. So uh, that's fun. Peter crosses his arms and isn't... really sure how to react to that beyond looking even more confused.]

Okay, that's... concerning? Not the weirdest thing anyone's ever said to me, believe it or not, but still definitely up there. Probably in my top five. So uh. Hit me with it, I guess?

[Oooh is he gonna regret saying that? He probably is. He regrets saying most of the stuff he says, why should this be any different?]

[ peter's face scrunches up into an expression that can only be described as GIGANTIC DOUBT and he holds his hands out towards peter, palms upwards. ] Say you're used to weird things happening on a regular basis, which— [ peter parker. ] —you say you are. Magic portals are pretty up there, right? So you can deal. You've got a pretty good tolerance for weird. [ a pause, and he drops his hands to his sides. ] But then you — not you, by the way — come across a guy and it turns out you share a name, and that's really weird, right?

[ glances up at the sky; doesn't pause. ] Or it would be, except you've encountered something a little like this before, but it was a whole thing with clones, and it was— [ it was just a whole thing. ] —not something you're entirely keen on repeating, but here we are, here you are and—. [ he points at himself. ] Parker. Peter Parker. Please don't freak out. [ does he mean himself or (baby)peter? who knows!

—it's both. the answer is both, but mostly (baby)peter because he's so young. ]

[He's about to say that this guy isn't the first other Peter he's ever met (that Footloose idiot comes to mind immediately) but then there's the rest of what this dude says and YYEEEAAAhhhhhh wow that's a thing.]

..Okay. I'm not freaking out. Noooot gonna freak out. I got this. [He's not visibly freaking out like, on the outside, anyway. Inside? Well, not a day goes by where he's not freaking out at least a little bit, so that's nothing new.] Think I'm gonna have to come up with a better way of telling us apart, since last names are out now, too. So, you're Kevin, now. Congratulations, Kevin.

[Jokes help him keep the freak outs at bay, it's like a defense mechanism. Give him a second to actually think this over. He takes a deep breath, stares skyward for a second, and then dives right into this wacky bullshit.]

Okay, so, alternate universes. Not weird, I've already kinda figured that was a thing just from like, being here. I can buy that, I'm down with AUs, this is fine. But, okay, how do we know we're not just two dudes that just happen to be named Peter Parker, but otherwise have absolutely nothing to do with each other?

Edited (NOW I'M DOING IT) 2019-02-24 21:13 (UTC)

Because with my luck, that's just not the case. [ a muttered remark, more to himself than to peter and punctuated by a huff that is also not directed at peter. it's followed up by a silence: if peter is anything like him, then he knows he's freaking out, he knows this is one of the last things he wants to deal with. ] —Yeah, okay, fine, it's coincidental that you also happen to know Tony Stark and Stephen Strange. We can go with that. [ a dismissive wave of his hand. ] But I'm not Kevin. I'm older and, Peter, we've established I'm from an earlier point in time. Peter Parker is my name.

[ wait, that was ... maybe a bit harsh. he winces. ]

—I'm sorry. [ it's genuine, and he hesitates before continuing. ] We could ... [ he suspects middle names are out. ] ...My wife calls me Pete. [ unless she's angry. ] You can be Peter, I can be Pete. Simple. [ question mark and a shrug. ]

That could still be one big, freaky coincidence! --wait his name is Stephen?

[Stephen the wizard. Not the most wizardy name ever, but sure, that's. Fine, he guesses. ]

I mean, it's fine, whatever. I was gonna argue that I was here first and that makes me the Alpha Peter, but I also don't really care that much so... sure. We'll go with your thing.

[what he wants to do is immediately dive into asking Pete a bunch of questions, because wow buddy is there a lot to unpack here, but the guy did just get here and is obviously having a super weird time of things himself. So instead of being nosy, Peter's just going to stand there and awkwardly stuff his hands into his pockets.

You don't care that much but you were going to argue that you were the Alpha Peter? You're not a wolf. Are you? Prime Peter would make more... [ sense. but anyway. pete eyes peter expectantly for several moments, waiting for something other than an awkward pocket shove.

it doesn't come. wow, this is definitely awkward. ] So—o, Peter. You tried phoning home on this thing? [ holds up the phone. ]

[Peter just watches Pete while he breaks down that bad joke, but his answer to the phone thing is immediate because he cannot stand this awkward silence thing. Even though it was kind of his fault in the first place. Shut up.]

Yeah, it doesn't work. Can't make calls outside of the city. It's almost like we're in a different universe or something.

[He catches himself being a little smartass, wincing slightly. Don't mind him, he's just having a teenager moment.]

That was. Mean. Sorry.

[ peter, you do not get to judge pete for his terrible jokes.

peter cringes a little at that — less for the meanness, because he has definitely heard meaner and that barely registers as anything other than mildly grumpy. Nn— ] —No, I'll give you that one. [ he's still got questions, a lot of them, all about where they are, but there's a large part of him that's wary of asking peter. a lot of it's his age — pete's sure he's capable, particularly if he's been here for months, but he's still young and that's a lot to place on one person.

(it does slot a few other things in place for him, if he's honest.)

his expression shifts into a look that says 'I regret opening my mouth and starting this conversation; let’s go back to just saying we’re two guys that share a name and happen to know some of the same people because I definitely didn’t end up on an obscure planet in between times and universes when I was just seventeen.'

or: it just showcases mild doubt. ngh— settles on: ] Does anyone know what [ whose ] universe we're in?

Edited (to quote david bowie: ch-ch-ch-changes) 2019-02-25 16:24 (UTC)

[In all fairness it's not nearly as much as what mini-Peter places on himself, but he's also still in the process of learning just how much of what he can realistically handle. He could take it like a champ, or it could be a total disaster. Sooo yeah big Pete probably made the right call there.]

Oh, jeez. I have no idea how to even like, determine something like that. The gods might know?

[he pauses abruptly. thaaaaat probably sounded absolutely insane, didn't it.] That's. Also a thing. I mean, they're more like aliens, I think? They're the guys that "run" this place, [said complete with air quotes] but they're less like gods and more like freaky... like, emotion vampires. They literally feed off of our emotions, and it's really screwed up.

[ gods. his eyebrows dart upwards and he looks doubtful for just a second, and then he thinks of thor and loki and: fine, gods. aliens that call themselves god. that is actually completely fine. peter's answer tells him, too, that no-one that's on the planet slash in the city call this place home, so that's ... also a whole thing to keep in mind.

run the place, though. a flicker of distaste. he hates that phrase: nothing good ever comes out of a running a place, particularly a place with links to weird inter-dimensional portals that may or may not be magic. ] Sounds like you've been through a lot. [ eyeing. "are you okay?" is the unasked question there. ] You've been a great help, Peter, but you know what? I think I'll stop playing twenty questions with you and just read the guide. [ he doesn't quite mean that to sound as dismissive as it does and if he notices, it's not immediately evident.

(spoiler: he doesn't realise.) ]

Edited 2019-02-26 11:21 (UTC)

[Ha ha he hasn't been okay since he got here. Since before he got here. He doesn't have time to not be okay though, so he's been learning how to fake it pretty good. That's healthy.]

Never a dull moment. But yeah, that's fine. We should probably get out of here anyway, before that little meatball dude finishes amassing his little biscuit army.

[Dismissive or not, Peter knows that the guide can explain this stuff more cohesively than he probably can. And hey, remember that dumpling you kicked in the face, Pete? Yeah, he's made a bunch of wiggly little friends.]

[ oh, that thing. peter had almost forgotten about that. ] I thought he was a dumpling? Because I can definitely give up Chinese food but I don't know if I can give up Italian food. [ distractedly; he's still not convinced they're entirely a threat, even as a group. (what would an group of biscuits be called, anyway? they're made of dough— doughbie brothers?) but underestimating them alone would be one thing, underestimating them with peter in tow is entirely another thing.

and he has to decide if earlier was a 'hey, yeah, that was adrenaline and luck, haha, I'm just a science teacher' or if—

—who is he kidding, it's not a decision. he still doesn't know enough about peter to consider the alternative, so he attempts to shoo peter in the direction he thinks is 'out'. ] This way? [ only half a question, because he's going that way anyway. ]

[Oooooh he should probably not tell Pete that the food here is almost all garbage. Would it break his heart? It definitely broke little Peter's. Not a single deli in the whole city, man.]

It's a squishy thing with a sword and no limbs, I don't know what it's supposed to be.

[he bet it tastes good, though.

God he's been here too long. And He's just gonna let Pete herd him to the exit because at this point like sure. Why not, this is happening now.]

Yeah, yeah, it's this way. They won't follow us outside, so we won't need to worry about them chasing us down and stabbing us in the shins or whatever.

Okay, then you might want to pick up the pace a little bit, Peter. [ lightly jogging now, because the dumpling-led biscuit army is moving quicker than pete had expected. especially for sentient food. wait. ] If it's got no limbs, how can it use the sword? [ he's not going to rule out psychic abilities, but it's still a question; next question — one that he doesn't ask — is why won't they follow them outside? it's followed up by the worry of 'what is outside?', but that's never stopped him before and peter's clearly been there before, which leads to— ]

I've got to ask. [ interrupted by grabbing peter's wrist. ] Why did you come here? [ here-here. the 'they won't come outside' means he knew there would be monsters here (he thinks). ]

[He starts jogging when Pete does, not really overly concerned about the weird little critters but figuring they shouldn't risk getting their ankles gnawed on if they can avoid it. He's been bit by enough weird animals since he first got here. As for how they use the swords with no limbs, Peter can only shrug. Your guess is as good as mine is what he would say, but he's immediately distracted from that train of thought when Pete grabs his wrist. FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU nah it's fine he isn't pissed about it or anything, it's just unexpected. Also don't squish his web shooters bro, they're hidden under his sleeves but he never goes anywhere without them anymore.]

I'm on patrol. Whenever new people show up, I come out here to help them out. Normally we have way bigger monsters, though.

[It's not even weird what are you talking about.]

[ huh. he notices the bulk under peter's sleeve: there's a very real chance it could be a watch or the kid could just like jewellery, or it answers the question he hasn't and isn't planning on asking. regardless, pete doesn't indicate that he's noticed anything, instead he manoeuvres peter in front of him. sharp glance, flatly: ] Size doesn't matter. [ and that's followed by a tangible pause and an ngh, because he did just say that to a teenager? well done, pete. ] ...With monsters. [ did that help? he feels like that didn't help. ] Don't underestimate them. [ is all he's trying to say and look, he's not even going to question why a seventeen year-old is helping patrol.

(even if the thought does occur to him, and even if he's only loosely, vaguely aware of how hypocritical that would make him.) ] Where do we go after this? [ partly why he's pushed you in front, peter; the only part of the reason is because he would prefer for your shins to be less stabbed than his. ]

( ooc: okay so i'm going to be really honest here and admit that actually i haven't ... actually ... seen homecoming so like, if peter's web shooters are ... more discreet than in the comics/what google is telling me, SORRY MY BAD I WILL EDIT because i clearly do not do enough of that already. )

(ooc: It's totally fine!! His web shooters definitely have enough bulk to be noticeable. btw i am super thrilled to have another peter to bounce off of thank you for this gift of spiders)

[Peter's just not going to touch that size doesn't matter thing because really it's too easy to take that somewhere inappropriate. Give him a real challenge, man.

He just goes along with it when Pete moves him to the front of this little procession, but he's still kind of stiff and awkward about it. Okay, cool, this is happening now? Cool cool cool.]

Uh, okay. Well... jeez. When I first got here the first thing I did was track down one of the shops and steal some pants, so I might not be the best person to ask? I'd say maybe finding a place to stay would be a good first step.

[Oh wait that sounds really sketchy doesn't it]

When-- when I say steal some pants, I mean we don't have like, a monetary system here? The stuff in the shops is all free.

[ yes, please lead the way, peter.

and no, actually, he's wondering less about the stealing some pants and more the stealing some pants; there's a puzzled frown directed at the back of peter's head, but if he's honest, he's spent enough time in classrooms (despite what julie might think) that he's not sure he wants to know the answer to the question of why he needed to find pants in the first place.

thinks: yeah, note to self: don't take life advice from a seventeen year-old. says: ] —That's great, because I definitely left my wallet full of cash in my other pants.

[ self-deprecating sarcasm or truth? who knows! except of course it's self-deprecating sarcasm because spider-man and a nine-to-five don't exactly go hand-in-hand.

—oh, but okay, that comment about finding somewhere to stay is a sudden reminder that this isn't just another spider-man adventure and that he's not going to end up home three hours late with a 'whoops, sorry mj, there was a thing, did you catch it on the news?'. he doesn't really have a comeback to that; instead, his attention just flickers to the wedding ring on his finger. yes, he might end up right back when he started, but there's always a chance he won't.

(don't think about that.) ] And the rent? [ distractedly, as if he's only semi-interested in the answer. ]

Edited 2019-02-27 23:22 (UTC)

[Maybe some day Peter will tell Pete all about the complete disaster that was his first day in town, but for now he's just going to look over his shoulder at him and shrug in the least helpful way possible.]

No money, no rent. Everybody wins. That's probably the only good thing about this place, to be honest. Everything's free, but the food sucks, the clinic isn't all that impressive, the lab's kinda "meh". No subway, though, that's another plus.

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