dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #7

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!test drive

Test Drive Meme #7

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open March 25th, and apps are open April 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HOW UNUSUAL
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something on the rooftops watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to separate you from your group and tear you into pieces. This time, the Door has brought in a few Rodents Of Unusual Size, from the film/book Princess Bride.

These large creatures are about the size of a large dog and can be stoked into a frenzy once they smell blood. They typically hide in the shadows and wait for an opportune moment to leap out of the dark and strike at you. Though they can sometimes look like overlarge puppets, take no doubt that these monsters are very much alive, and they love the taste of flesh.]

H O P E
SCENARIO TWO: MIRROR, MIRROR
[While exploring, you might be surprised to come across a pristine mirror in this underground city. It could be lying in your path, it could have been dropped into your bag by a mysterious someone, or it could find you some other way, but it will be there. This is no ordinary mirror, however- upon looking inside of it, the glass will show you a vision of a future that you hope for more than anything.

Regardless of what you want, the mirror shows visions that you believe are possible so that you can adequately hope for it- whether or not they actually are isn't really anyone's concern. Feel free to hide in a corner and stare for hours, throw it away, or try to peek at as many other mirrors as you want- we won't stop you!

This is a mini version of our Hopeful Future event this month!]

R A G E

SCENARIO THREE: PAY 2 WIN
[How cool are carnival booths? Super cool, right? And luckily, the grand prize in this one is something you've always wanted. It could be a briefcase of enough money to make all your troubles go away, that sacred amulet you've been questing after, or something a little less concrete- the approval of someone you want to like you, a curse upon someone you don't like, general freedom... the choices are endless.

And all you have to do to win it is play a game or two.

Something strange seems to be happening, though. Each time you finish a round of the game, the prize requirements just get a little higher, just stretch a little more out of reach. Play again, we're sure you'll get it this time! No? Well, you've definitely got it next time.

Get fed up and smash the booth for the prize? Well buddy, now you're disqualified, and tampering with the booth sets that thing you want most up in flames. Sorry, bud. Better luck next time! And look, there's another booth right behind you...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Taken from post-game. ]

Scenario One
[ The streets were a flood of disgusting disease-infested creatures. Back 'home', these suckers got pretty damn fat, but... never would Fiona have imagined them giving a skag a run for their money. She's not stealthy in her movements, her feet pounding the ground in a poor attempt to outrun the five she has chasing her. Her heavy steps were drowned out with the scurrying and squeaks behind her. She's past a few storefront shops, hooking a left down an opening of brick walls. ]

I'm seriously getting chased by rats.... s-seriously?! Is there anything else more impressive out there that can kill me instead?!

[ She's absolutely livid, gasping for breath as her sprint slows, considerably.

Man, how did she go from some weird outer space adventure to this? The mighty had fallen. In some damp, dreary cave - besides the weird housing, it reminded her of Hollow Point. It had the same look-over-your-shoulder feel. The shadows painted a worse picture than when she arrived with the beast that dragged her here. It was foreign, but Fiona knew how to keep her cool. Well, cool enough until her signature hat flew off as she begins to climb over a wall blocking her way. ]

Aw shit!

[ She's half straddled over the wall, now faced with a tough choice.

Hat or no hat.

Please someone help her before she does something stupid and waste the little ammo she has in her pistol? ]

Scenario Three
[ This... this is more her liking. The slot machines in the bars at Hollow Point were definitely a highlight of her nights out. Sure... she may have conned them a few times with false money, but she won fair and square by even showing her face around town. The carnival booths gain her attention - the various lights and sounds stimulating her senses like she's some child. It may have been all subconscious though, because Fiona was b-lining to a particular game with a panicked look on her face. One booth in particular had caught her attention - one piece of the Gortys core. There's no way it could really be it... right? Despite logic telling her not to trust anything here - Fiona gives in. God damn it, does she give in.

The first ten games went by like the snap of a finger. The prize wasn't won and she's left with a sore arm from playing whack a mole... god damn it. She's tapped out and a bit desperate, looking around for anyone. With a roam of her hands down her jacket, she tries to calm herself, keeping it cool despite her gritting teeth showing another story. She's friggin' pissed! Not only does Fiona have zero time for this, but this could be the first chance she has of seeing a familiar face.

Well, cute ass robot face. ]

Hey, s'cuse me. Can I talk to you for a minute?

[ Fiona was ready to unleash her superpower: talking to people until they're 100% confused. ]

[ Hawke's just out here stabbing shit, because stabbing shit is what Hawke does best. It's easy to go out and pounce on giant rodents when you have no self-preservation instinct. He doesn't stab the R.O.U.S. chasing Fiona because it's chasing Fiona, but it's a bonus. Makes him look very heroic — or maybe just slightly crazy, since by the time all is said and done, he's gotten blood everywhere. He clearly doesn't know what a clean kill looks like, or maybe he just likes the drama of blood splatters.

Either way, there's a civilian casualty. It's Fiona's hat. He crouches down and picks it up, entirely ignoring her for a moment as he inspects it. Oh, yeah, that's going to be a bitch to wash out. Looking up at her: ]

—You know, I think it looks better this way. Very... rugged. Very bloody chic.

[ Hawke doesn't actually hand it back just yet. It is kind of a cool hat. ]

[ Why.

Why this.

The hat hurt no one. The light beige fabric was clean and well-kept unlike anything else in Pandora. That hat was absolutely treasured. The moment hung in slow motion, ticking by with what felt like eternity... She had began to shift down the wall when a figure approached so damn quickly. A second and the blood gushed from open wounds, pouring its red onto the hat without discrimination of its target. The crowd was mowed down and the con artist was just... staring there.

Jaw dropped.

Eyes wide.

Speechless.

His words were humoring if she wasn't in utter shock. ]

M-M..My hat.

[ She mutters, limply allowing her body to slide down the wall to the ground. He's holding onto the battle-worn hat, her eyes focused on it, not the 'hero'. ]

You couldn't have sliced in the opposite direction?!

[ Damn, girl, calm down, we'll find you something more fashionable. Maybe in the 'hood' department? ]

...Well. [ There's no decent reply to that. He definitely could have. ] Yes?

[ Hawke raises an eyebrow and gives her a look, like he can't comprehend why it matters. So there's viscera all over your clothing. You get used to it. Not having some sort of interior fluid and/or tissue on his exterior actually feels odd to Hawke after a few days of constant stabbing. ]

But look! [ That sure is Hawke jabbing Fiona's hat onto his head. For modeling purposes! ] It looks tough. Like you're bad, but just bad enough that someone can change you. You devilish ruffian, you.

[ Look, don't even get her started on this.

She's been through A Day and this was not exactly the icing on the cake. Fiona's not going to let her disbelief of the past few minutes detour her from manners. Oh ho ho, the con artist from Hollow Point was not completely without class.

Okay, well, her springing forth to snatch it from his head defensively was pretty damn rude. ]

Gimme that -! I wasn't aware that a hat told a lot about a person. Are you some kind of expert in extermination and fashion choices?

[ Can you sense the sarcasm? The poisonous, dripping sarcasm? She's holding it away from her body, looking at the thing as if it was dead. Killed. Destroyed. Fiona could get dirty, but didn't mean she liked to. ]

Ruffian or not - you have my thanks. [ Fiona doesn't trust too easily, she does keep her distance a few feet and lies: ] I'm unarmed and didn't have any way to really fight back. Nasty bastards...

[He's perfectly fine here. One might say that Rhys is hiding, but in actuality he's strategically coordinating the locations of where all the new monsters in the city aren't- which is a very important job, to be honest. After all, there are children in this city... he thinks there are, anyway, there's at least a couple of teenagers, and while most people would probably be perfectly fine throwing teenagers to the rats, someone as to be their champion.

That someone is Rhys.

And he's here, hunched behind the wall and praying that this remains a rat-free zone when he hears footsteps thudding toward him. Aw shit is right, and he clenches his teeth, wincing when he hears the unmistakable sound of footsteps scrabbling over the wall.

Of course.]

This is my hiding spot! [He yells it before he can properly see what it is, his tone rife with annoyance.] Get your own!

[...okay, so maybe he is hiding. But he can hardly be blamed for it, given the nightmarish monsters currently on the prowl. The teenagers are on their own with this one.]

[ Do ya thing, bro. No one will judge you for sitting this one out.

Well, Fiona will once she realizes he could have prevented this disaster. Unfortunately for Rhys, one foot hangs low as she straddles the wall, one foot crazing against the side of Rhys' head. That's what you get for talking shit, tbh. Fate kept it so Fiona's attention doesn't dare draw over the fence to see what a sweet reunion it would hide... but instead, more important matters.

She's keeping her eyes on one side of the wall, the scurring rabies carriers approaching quickly and nearly trampling over her hat. ]

Trust me, it's a shitty hiding spot! There's about five of these things on the opposite side and I think they can climb!

[ She's chewing her lip, momentarily debating. Even with them approaching so quickly...

>Hat
>Safety
>Hat
>Safety

God damn it.

She'll keep debating that but in the meantime, she's going to peek over to the side Rhys is lurking at and... holy shit, the expression she makes when she sees a familiar face. Why do they keep getting connected back together?! ]

Rhys?

[Okay, firstly: that boot on his head is unhygienic, and he's annoyed about it. Secondly (and, admittedly, maybe a little more importantly): Rhys recognizes that voice.

About the same time that Fiona calls his name, Rhys draws the connection, and he takes a step back to look up at her straddling the wall, blinking in surprise. Given that her foot was just mussing up his hair a moment ago, one would think that he'd be a little more annoyed, but right now he's- well, this is actually a kind of cool moment.

Or, it would be, if there weren't a pack of rats on her heels.

Important things first, though-]

Oh- hey. [He looks her up and down for a moment before his brows furrow a little in something that could probably be considered concern.] -where's your hat?

[ She'd have been more gentle if she had a little more time to settle on her mounted state. This wall was... pretty uncomfortable. Guys weren't the only ones with *that* problem, ugh. Keeping her balance, she's trying not to tumble on either side. Fall to Rhys and her hat is lost, fall to the hat and at least she'd die with what she loves. But, rats. ]

Where do you think?

[ She nudges her head back in the direction to indicate. One rat takes a giant leap and Fiona will crack a harsh kick of her boot to the side of its beady little head to keep it at bay. ]

Do you have a weapon or something? They're trying to climb and - well, yeah, hat is pretty important. We can do the reunion thing later!

Um- no? Why do you think I'm hiding?

[If you want to get technical about it, he does have Dumpy, allegedly somewhere in his hammerspace inventory, but Dumpy is sad and fragile and screams at things until they go away, which Rhys is willing to bet is not a trait that will really scare off the rats.

Still, Fiona is right. Reunions can probably wait until later, when there aren't rats trying to eat Fiona (and, by proxy, Rhys) and they're in a nice, enclosed space with very limited opportunities for being murdered.]

We can come back for your hat- right now would be a good time for running, come on!

[Rhys, who has never been emotionally attached to anything in his life as much as Fiona is attached to her hat, Does Not Get It. Sorry, Fi.]

[ Ugh, she should have known. He would have been flailing around with his little stun rod against these jerks. Fiona's still longingly staring over the wall to her hat. It was trampled every so often and it was like a rip in her heart. But... she's going to still try and convince him.

Like, really sell this idea.

Kinda like a vault key. ]

Look, you can hold onto my legs and I can just - I can reach it. And then we'll get the hell out of dodge!

Are you crazy?

[That is the absolute dumbest idea he has ever heard of.

But Fiona is kind of selling it.

Because like, he knows that she doesn't want to leave without her hat and she'll probably be really mopey if it was destroyed and theoretically, it's Fiona who is going down into the fray for it and not Rhys. Fiona could get jumped by the rats first, and if she does, then Rhys is welcome to drop her, leave her to it, and book it while the rats are eating her.

Not that he wants that to happen. But Rhys comes to the important realization that this plan puts Fiona in a lot more danger than it puts him. Which means that 1) she trusts him, 2) she'll owe him, and 3) she'll be happier to get it back.

So he relents, stepping a little closer and reaching for her legs.]

Okay, okay, fine. Be quick though, okay?

Crazy times, Rhys. There are giant rats on the street in this weird.. not-Pandora world. Really gonna question what's crazy?

[ Okay, keep selling it, girl.

She's going to take the time to get comfortable - swinging her legs over so both boots were visible to Rhys. They hover over, within his grasp while her midsection sinks into the unforgiving concrete. Her torso hangs over the opposite end, daring the rats to work for their food if they so desperately needed. Their bulbous heads looked ill-matched for the scrawny body with bones pressing into skin. It was disgusting and this way, Fiona got a front row seat. ]

Okay, get my legs and I'll try and - uh.. sandwich myself, I guess?

[ There is a wood plank she could use to drag it closer... maybe...

Realistically, there was probably a low chance she can even get this hat, let's be real. ]

I think suicide is crazy, no matter what world you're in- or the size of its rats.

[Rhys shoots back, because someone has to be the rational person in this working relationship, and if it's not going to be Fiona, then Rhys will pick up that mantle and definitely not immediately fuck it up.

But he does what she asks anyway, because, again, Fiona would definitely die first in this scenario. Rhys grabs at her ankles then, straightening up a little so he can get a better grip, his robotic arm wrapping firmly around one of her calves. Holding onto stuff is something that he's definitely good at- innuendo not intended, but he's got a strong grip.]

Just- hurry up, alright?

[Hopefully Fiona won't get her face chewed off. That would kind of sour this reunion.]

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[This carnival thing is a nice change of pace in theory, but does it really count as entertainment if everything about it is only serving to piss her off? She'd take routine cave monster hunting over this much losing any day. Be careful what you wish for, and all that.

In Lilith's case, she's been slamming a giant mallet down on a switch trying to ring a test-your-strength bell... for the last hour. The prize? Some unidentifiable Eridian artifact-- maybe a piece of another Vault key, if she wants to trust anything about Hadriel (she doesn't, but it's too tempting to turn down). But with every swing, the hammer just gets heavier and heavier. She's straining with the effort of lifting the damn thing, Siren markings flaring orange, when a stranger's voice catches her attention.

...And makes her drop the hammer, noisily, down on the switch.] Dammit! Still only halfway!

[Ugh. Maybe this one'll distract her from this failure.]

Whatever. Not like I've got anything better to do than waste my time on this friggin' game. 'Sup?

[ Something precious to her was within reach and yes, desperate times call for desperate measures. Fiona called out to Lilith - the woman relatively familiar but she can't quite place it (hello wanted posters), casing a bad sore bicep from her poor mallet efforts herself. ]

Wasting your time? There's some really badass items up for grabs, isn't it worth a little work?

[ Good lead in... Fiona forces a smirk on her face, trying to play it off calmly. ]

Although... doesn't look like you're having much success getting your prize either.

[ Fiona tries to make herself sound relatable. Which, she is! She's so damn frustrated over these cheap carnival games, but something keeps driving her to try. Really try to win that. Money was just... well, a big issue.

The con drags on, but she isn't going to put her call to action out there so soon. ]

[For an axe-wielding Psycho, this whole thing is like a dream come true. Some good old violence to quell the voices and coat him in gore, and no one has to suffer for it but the rats that already had it coming.

More are coming, but hold on here. Just hold on. That's a...hat. Just lying there.

What are you doing now? groans the voice in his head, but he ignores it and instead picks up the little object on the ground and, after a brief moment's inspection, waves it triumphantly at its owner like a banner.]

You dropped your little hood ornament!

[ Fiona wasn't in the best place to use her limited ammo. A melee weapon would work, if she had access, but her improvisation skills meant nothing when there were people taking them out for her. The chase left her breathing a bit labored, her worry over the hat trumping everything.

It was rescued, however, leaving her more concerned in giving it back. She's... not going to quite jump off her wall. Instead, she opts to keep mounted onto it, hoping to get the hat and disappear in the opposite direction.

His garb is familiar - totally familiar. ]

Hood ornament...? You mean hat? [ She sounds unimpressed. ] Yeah! Lost it when I was climbing up. Thanks, toss it up here.

But we haven't even begun the barbecue!

[That is to say, there are more rats coming and Krieg is going to have a heck of a time dispatching them all. It hasn't really occurred to him that some people might be more inclined to run away from the threat rather than charge into it blindly.

Just give it back, moron.

If his face were exposed, Krieg would have grinned widely.]

There's going to be such a FEAST!

[ Why.

Why this.

After adjusting (fairly well) to this situation she finds herself in, there's another wrench in the plan. Of course there will be a wrench in the plan! She's about to shoot the guy between the eyes before she lowers her hand, rethinking everything. Still.. still sitting on the brick wall, Fiona forces a smile. Biiiig grin. ]

Uh, can't we have a barbeque where I'm wearing a festive hat? Right? [ Talk your way out of it, Fiona. Just do it. Guy is nuttier than a toolbox. ] You're not- ... you're not gonna deny me the appropriate wear for the feat, right?

[In Krieg's warped, messed-up brain, that sounds like a perfectly serviceable suggestion. He nods quietly to himself the more he thinks on it.

Exactly, the voice of rationality chimes in helpfully. So just give it back. Just give it on...]

CAAAAAATCH! [Krieg bellows, as he winds back and just goes and fucking hurls the hat like it's a discus, sending it spinning wildly in her direction at a completely unreasonable velocity.]

[ It is a perfect suggestion because it's the one that results with 1: no bleeding or broken limbs and 2: no awkward begging. Fiona's pretty fond of that hat, dude. She will beg if needed.

But, for now, the fucking discus throw would earn him no medals and may God have mercy on his soul. It sails up and Fiona swears it's slow motion - because damn it, she's reaching. Stretching. Praying that she'll catch it. Her fingertips touch the fabric as the hat's trajectory is within grasp. But, nope. It sails over her and she's falling back with it in a sad, very sad attempt to catch it.

Fiona topples over the opposite side of the brick wall with a loud, unbefitting yelp and thud.

Did she get her hat?! ]

[You'd think we'd be better at aiming, mutters the head-voice, sounding halfway between amused and annoyed.

Krieg's single eye widens in either deranged laughter or surprise. Some lingering instinct urges him forward and he lunges at the wall, scaling it with a small amount of difficulty thanks to the cumbersome heft of his buzz-axe. He makes it to the top in time to lean over and inspect the fruits of his labor.]

Look out below!

[Yes, Krieg. How very helpful for you to say that.]

[ Please imagine this as she falls.

Because wow, that was much more dramatic than she anticipated. A 6-8 foot drop on a wall really couldn't have hurt that badly, right? Tell that to the dip in her back and top of her ass. Please don't be broken. Fiona lays there a moment just to steady herself, shaking the cobwebs out.

Up she sits, looking over to the hat that rests at her feet. Reunited and it feels so good. Dusting it off as she examines it - looks good, so she'll put that right back on. Right around the time he gives her the warning! Great. ]

...Thanks. [ What the hell - he seems harmless, but she wants to keep her guard up. ] Aren't there more rats on your side of the wall that need.. uh.. feastin'?

[She's not cut out for this like we are.

Krieg twitches, his head jerking to one side oddly. If both his eyes were visible, he might be going cross-eyed under the strain of information the different parts of his brain are trying to filter to him.]

Nnnghhhh. [A drawn-out, pained sound leaks out from behind his mask. It sounds like it takes a bit more effort to get his next words out.]

We spent so much time preparing the party, we forgot for who it was for.

[With that...less than coherent statement, he slides back down to his side of the wall.]