dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #8

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!test drive

Test Drive Meme #8

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open April 24th, and apps are open May 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: DEAD FLESH BUFFET
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to swarm around you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in a group of rotfiends, from the video game The Witcher.

These unpleasant-looking creatures are necrophages, meaning they feed on the flesh of the dead, and if that flesh is in short supply they are happy to add to it. Normally found in groups, they are fast and difficult to corner. What's more, when on the verge of death, they have an annoying tendency to explode into a flammable cloud of poisonous toxins. You left your torch at home, right?]

R A G E
SCENARIO TWO: MMM WHATCHA SAY
[There you were, just walking along the street, minding your own business like a good underground hell-city citizen, when all of a sudden you saw someone. It was like love at first sight - if by 'love' you mean 'deep burning hatred'. You've never wanted to kill someone so much, and why? Well, you're not really sure, but there's probably a reason! You'll just have to figure it out. Or not. Who needs a reason for murder, anyway?

Or maybe you're the one someone else has targeted. Maybe you know they're after you and you're desperately trying to watch your back. Why do they hate you? You don't even know them. Or maybe you do, maybe they're your best friend. Either way, this is a super awkward situation, and someone might end up dead. Hopefully not you!

This is a mini version of our Assassin event this month!]

H O P E

SCENARIO THREE: SCRATCH OFF
[This morning, you received a scratch ticket in the mail (who knew Hadriel even had mail?), addressed to you. The instructions are clear enough - scratch off three matching icons, and you win a prize! Sure, okay. But here's the grand prize: a one-way ticket home.

Unfortunately, try as you might, you aren't gonna win that one, but keep hoping! And hey, just think of all the other GREAT PRIZES you could win: an inflatable duck, a plastic ring to give your sweetheart, an empty can of Red Bull, a cell phone charm shaped like a strange green creature with a boner.

So what if you didn't win that ticket home? You got something almost as good: a shitty prize! Thanks, Hope!]

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[The sharp movements make him tense up again, ready to attack all the more, but, somehow, he manages to contain himself enough to reach into his back pocket, still not letting her go. He is an adult, he is a sheriff and he will do his damn job regardless of how much he thinks someone deserves to be killed.]

You're under arrest for petty theft.

[And his hand comes back with handcuffs at the ready.]

Are you serious? You have what - ugh.

[ Would she be killed? Maybe back on Pandora, but she sees how intensely he looks at her. As if he wants to kill her. She's not clued in on the entire details of what's going on, but she knows something is up - people were too tense, herself included. The lump in her throat is swallowed, spit gone and drying her mouth out. Nervousness? Sure, because she was going to do something incredibly stupid.

His claim for an arrest was met with a harsh slam of her hand. She tries to push him off of her, but a knee to his sternum would hopefully suffice in a further attempt to get away. If she was able to escape Bigby's grasp, she'd fucking book it (and scooping up the switchblade in the process) away from him. ]

[The slam makes him drop the cuffs, and he snarls.

Alright. Fine. Fuck it. We'll do this the hard way.

And then the knee catches him off guard and forces him to let go as he doubles over, winded. He might be big and bad but a rib shot is still a rib shot and he's not exactly young.

Still, he's let her go, and it takes him a good few seconds to recover. But when he straightens up, he's a lot furrier and a lot angrier, and he's off like a shot in the direction he saw her flee.]

[ Alright, unlike Rhys who is proficient at the zip and zag - Fiona is easy to follow. She books it straight and to the left around a building. Bigby was definitely able to see where she came from.

Her boots did their best to give her the speed she needed - a few more moments to really get a headstart, honestly. She nearly loses her hat a total of three times as she's carefully looking over her shoulder. ]

Steal a - hah - weapon. Best idea ever, Fi.

[ Ignore her as she tries to run for her god damn life, make a scene, and talk down to herself all in one go! ]

[Nope, no ignoring the subject of his very close attention. Bigby comes into the corner hard and ricochets off the opposite wall, but now that he has a straight his muscles bunch up and he's almost bent double again as he speeds up.

He's not gonna bother wasting breath on words, he's just gonna try grabbing onto Fiona's shoulder as soon as he's in range, and that might be faster than she expects.]

[ Oh hell yeah it's a lot quicker than she expects.

One moment she can't even see the guy and next thing she knows, she's eating dirt. She stumbles, completely planting face first in her own franatic run. This was embarrassing. It's funny how in one instant, she is flooded with missing Sasha and hell... even Rhys. The Rhys she knew, anyway...

Her clothing scuffed, her hat flying off in a dramatic slow-motion kinda way... Fiona is trying to roll to her side and scrambling backwards. ]

Keep the hell back! Crazy motherfu-

Hey! [One foot comes in fast, aimed at Fiona's ribs.] Watch your fucking language!

[Irony? What's that?]

[He reaches down to grab the back of her collar and yank her to her feet. To him in this form, she'll weigh practically nothing.]

I don't want to hurt you but today is apparently a very bad day to test that, so keep acting like a shit and you'll go the same way as one!

[ Ouch! That one hurt. She didn't feel anything crack, so there's that!

Her form instinctively rolled onto her side, tucking her knees in as she clenches against her torso. There's a wince of pain - no, a fucking holler. No doubt he got her back for the knee to the gut, at least.

The sudden yank has her knees buckle on the ground - her eyes completely scoffing at the sight. What the hell was he? ]

H-Hah... like I said, asshole, you don't know me. I-If you're feeling all righteous - there's like.. five guys I can point you in the direction of for d-deserving asskickings...

[ Wind knocked out of her and completely out of breath, he'll see her lift her arm up. She doesn't want to do it, but the glistening copper gun was visible hidden up her sleeve.

Can she pull the trigger in time? Does she want to? ~~Those bullets are limited...~~

If she does, a shock bullet was aimed right at his shoulder. Trigger pulled....? ]

[That's a completely unsubtle movement there, Fiona, but by the time he recognises it as the barrel of a gun he's cursing loudly and dropping her in favour of backing away: too little too late, but at least dropping her means the shot goes into his hip rather than his shoulder - or worse, his heart. The electric shock is a lot more of a surprise, and that is what floors him and leaves him panting on his back for a few moments.]

...son...haah...of a bitch... why...

[And as usual, he recovers fast - but he's still bleeding from the hip as he sits up. However, his stupid 'talking to himself out loud' habit yet remains.]

...why do I want to kill you so bad... haah...

[ Fiona's nervous. If Bigby ever shares a pitcher with her and hears about how Pandora was, maybe he'll forgive her. For now, she doesn't expect him too. She sees a monster in front of her - so of course she's going to protect herself.

Doesn't mean she has to kill him, though.

She's dropped and she scrambles back again, rolling the barrel of the pistol to a fire-infused bullet next. ]

Don't know - but I'd knock that shit off before... h-hah... before I waste another damn bullet!

[ Her hat was crooked, her eyebrows furrowed downward and she's definitely not going to miss next time. ]

What's wrong with you?

[His face screws up as he explored the bullet wound with his fingers. If he doesn't get it out soon he'll probably heal over it; he can feel it lodged against bone. Where was Swineheart when you need him?

When he sees her pointing the barrel at him again, he holds one hand in the air in submission. The other is busy trying to stem the blood loss.]

Believe me, if I knew I'd fucking tell you. Ever since I got here this place has been doing my head in.

Look - I'm sorry for shooting you but you can't just grab a girl! Have some damn manners.

[ She makes it sound easy. Way easy. The only reason she even knows the bullet is still lodged inside is the small crackle of blue electricity. It's a bitch - but even at his stamina he could function with it crackling. Fiona sighs, digging into her pocket and - aha! The switchblade. Up to her feet she goes, taking steps back and keeping the aim steady even with his submission.

She's learned better.

But, she will go ahead and toss the switchblade at his feet. ]

Dig it out - it won't stop for a few more minutes.

[ But, the mention of his head makes her quirk her sliced brow upwards a bit. ]

Never heard of this place making someone play sheriff and attack (mostly) innocent people. [ There's a bitterness in her voice, but she's inching away. Get out of there, she keeps thinking. But, why does she feel bad - damn it. ] Just keep calm and keep your distance and we're cool.

[ She'll forgive the inevitable bruising on her wrist, especially as she's tenderly clutching it with her free hand. ]

I'm not playing sheriff, I am one. Back in New York City.

[He picks up the knife. Shit...

All he can do is grit his teeth as he carefully jams it into the small hole, but even then a groan escapes that is more than a bit pained.]

...nggh... I promise, I don't normally-- fuck!!

[The static zaps him and makes his hand slip, leading another spurt of blood to drip between his finers. He scowls and his eyes flash gold for a moment when he reopens them, and he jams the knife in quickly, and gives it a rough flick - amd the bullet bounces onto the ground. He throws the knife down as well, using both hands to hold the wound shut. It'll stop of its own accord soon, but until then...]

...I don't normally attack random Mundies. This place... haah... it's fucking with me.

[ New York City sure sounds foreign - way different than Lynchwood or Hollow Point. She doesn't comment, chalking it up to the Door's ability to pull an assortment of poor unfortunate souls here.

Fiona remains a bit unfazed at the sight in front of her. She's seen tougher on Pandora - it's just a bullet wound, after all. ]

Mundies? That better not be an insult.

[ She waves the gun a bit, insisting that she has a bit of power. Okay, 'all the power'. Give the girl a gun and she thinks she can stand up to some big bad wolf. Either way, she's not going to offer help - letting him tend to the wound himself. ]

You'll live. They're not hollow points. [ Matter of factly. ] Did you just get here?

Not good at making friends...

[The amazing thing about accelerated healing was that somehow it always managed to bring pain receptors back good as new. That, and the knowledge that a bullet was a bullet and that shit always hurt like fuck.

But he can feel the blood stemming, so he raises one hand and waves dismissively, ignoring the blood running down his wrist.]

It just means 'mundane'. So, human. Not a Fable. [That was an important distinction.]

[It hurts but he tries to straighten up anyway, trying to keep the big bad tough as nails wolf look up. The only tell that it still burns is a wince and his fingers tightening on the wound.

Time for a cigarette.]

At least it wasn't a shotgun... Yeah, I only got here today. Wherever the fuck 'here' is.

[ They weren't built like this on Pandora, that's for sure. She's seen aliens... and plenty of people non-native to her planet. Why should this wolfish guy be any different? She keeps a stray comment or two to herself, especially about the bleeding. He is so aware of it, she's sure. ]

Right. Gonna just save the question about what Fables even are for a later date. Maybe one when you're not plagued to kill me.

[ Her words drip in sarcasm at this point, a little more calmer than she could be. She's ticked off - yeah, every throb of her sides reminds her of why she should keep on guard. Shutting her mouth wasn't easy, it was a defense mechanism in case she needs to talk her way out of something. Rambles weren't as bad as Rhys, but they were up there. ]

Shit, how the hell did I become the welcome committee? [ She reflects to herself, sighing heavily. ] Hadriel. One big clusterfuck, if you ask me. Something about Gods and - look Gren explained that better than I ever will.

[ !!!! ]

[Despite the snark - or perhaps because of it - he's usually a better listener than talker. He's happy to let Fiona prattle on as he wipes his hand clean, or at least dry, and he's almost got the cigarette free of its pack and to his lips when the name drop registers in his head, and he almost drops it when he looks sharply at Fiona.]

Gren? You mean Grendel? [He holds one hand up, about Gren's height give or take the greasy hair.] Red-ish jacket, missing an arm? Drunk maybe a hundred percent of the time?

[ She's an expert at prattling - shit at small talk but... there wasn't really much she could do at this point. She's barely his "senior" in knowledge of this place. It feels dumb giving him advice and even lecturing. ]

Uh? Not sure - [ Okay, so he's trying to pantomime. But, the missing arm does pique her interest. ] I was going to guess ninety-eight, but I could see hundred.

Guy just called himself Gren and reluctantly helped me find food. Sounds like your guy.

[The raised hand drops onto Bigby's face, a pure and simple facepalm, almost poking himself in the eye with the cigarette.]

Oh, great. [Of all the Fables to be stuck here with...] That's just wonderful.

[The smoke ends up between his middle two fingers so he can pinch the bridge of his nose. And by way of explanation, he waves his hand vaguely as he gingerly lifts the other from his wound. A very concerningly large patch of his shirt is dyed blood brown, but that's not anything new.]

We're from the same world. He's another Fable, and... I'm just gonna say he's not exactly fond of me right now.

I'm sensing some messed up history.

[ As if she can completely predict it - the grimace on his face and absolutely unenthusiastic drag of his voice tells it all. She can read people, okay. Came with the job. Fiona is now a reasonable distance so she will slowly... lower her gun only slightly. ]

Ah. Bingo. Well, if this - [ She shifts her body a bit, emphasizing the way her free hand holds at her ribs. It's lucky she wasn't spitting blood or still on the ground crying. ] - is any indication of how you treat people back home, I wouldn't be too find either.

It's not how I want to treat people, but it happens a lot. I'm the Big Bad Wolf, and part of that package is a fucking wonderful reputation for wanton murder.

[He just shrugs, free hand digging for his lighter.] So my job is dealing with people who're scared of me or hate me, and try to resolve their issues by breaking my ribs.

[And sometimes his arms. Occasionally his nose. To be honest it doesn't resolve anyone's issues. Just makes new ones.]

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Test Drive Meme #8

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I'm sorry Bigby is 2OP I don't wanna kill Fiona ;×;

oh my god, she is so dead

Bigby is magnetically attracted to bullets i s2g

at least it's not a silver bullet

Small mercies

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