dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #8

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open April 24th, and apps are open May 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: DEAD FLESH BUFFET
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to swarm around you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in a group of rotfiends, from the video game The Witcher.

These unpleasant-looking creatures are necrophages, meaning they feed on the flesh of the dead, and if that flesh is in short supply they are happy to add to it. Normally found in groups, they are fast and difficult to corner. What's more, when on the verge of death, they have an annoying tendency to explode into a flammable cloud of poisonous toxins. You left your torch at home, right?]

R A G E
SCENARIO TWO: MMM WHATCHA SAY
[There you were, just walking along the street, minding your own business like a good underground hell-city citizen, when all of a sudden you saw someone. It was like love at first sight - if by 'love' you mean 'deep burning hatred'. You've never wanted to kill someone so much, and why? Well, you're not really sure, but there's probably a reason! You'll just have to figure it out. Or not. Who needs a reason for murder, anyway?

Or maybe you're the one someone else has targeted. Maybe you know they're after you and you're desperately trying to watch your back. Why do they hate you? You don't even know them. Or maybe you do, maybe they're your best friend. Either way, this is a super awkward situation, and someone might end up dead. Hopefully not you!

This is a mini version of our Assassin event this month!]

H O P E

SCENARIO THREE: SCRATCH OFF
[This morning, you received a scratch ticket in the mail (who knew Hadriel even had mail?), addressed to you. The instructions are clear enough - scratch off three matching icons, and you win a prize! Sure, okay. But here's the grand prize: a one-way ticket home.

Unfortunately, try as you might, you aren't gonna win that one, but keep hoping! And hey, just think of all the other GREAT PRIZES you could win: an inflatable duck, a plastic ring to give your sweetheart, an empty can of Red Bull, a cell phone charm shaped like a strange green creature with a boner.

So what if you didn't win that ticket home? You got something almost as good: a shitty prize! Thanks, Hope!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Noticing doesn't mean that you'll do shit about it.

[Technically, they'd known that Lily was missing starting from when he'd filed the report. Knowing means nothing when nobody acts on what they know.]

[And he's pretty damn sure that the Business Office wouldn't give two fucks if he disappeared one day. That'd be one less headache for them, wouldn't it? One less asshole yelling for them to do something about something.]

I've been here almost six fuckin' months, Wolf, I can fuckin' count. What, do I have to show up in the fuckin' river glamoured up like Snow fuckin' White before shit'll get done?

[He's not going to argue semantics about the Business Office with fucking Grendel. He's right, again - with Crane being useless and Snow being harangued, it had been impossible to keep an eye on everyone that didn't force themselves into top priority, usually by backdoor means - but Bigby is running low on patience and cigarette at this point.]

You'd look a shit-ton better than you do right now.

Take a long walk off a short go fuck yourself, Bigby.

[Because desperate people ending up dead in the river is something to joke about. Classy, Bigby, always stay classy.]

[Gren takes a few steps closer to him, fist clenched. He wants to take another swing but knows it's a stupid thing to do.]

Maybe it's fuckin' funny to you, but it sure as fuck ain't funny to me. Or to Lily, or Holly, or all the other Fables who fall through the cracks because you assholes don't fuckin' care enough to do your jobs.

[A growl ripples through Bigby and there's a long moment of hesitation as it takes more willpower than he'd care to admit to not give Grendel a broken rib.

That comment had been a very low blow and he does regret it, but that's definitely not the emotion in the front of his mind as he takes a deliberate step away from Gren.]

How many times do we have to tell you that it was fucking Crane who was preventing us from doing anything about it? You think we want to just sit back and let pieces of shit like Bluebeard get first place in line?

It was the same shit with Cole, too, and it's gonna be the same shit with Snow White in charge, because nothing ever fuckin' changes. How long are you gonna hide behind old fuckin' excuses?

[Gren would almost rather take the fight right now; it would be simpler, because he can vomit all the words he wants at Bigby, but he knows it's never going to matter. Bigby already seems to think that he knows all there is to know about Gren, so why would he ever listen?]

[But at least there's one thing that they can agree on: Bluebeard is a fucking sleaze.]

~~[Fine, we’ll get NEW excuses.]~~

[Bigby is getting very tired of this argument. With all his detective skills he can't work out what the fuck Gren wants from him, but by the smell of adrenaline in the air, right now it's probably a punching bag.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. He wants to actually sound sincere for this.]

The system we have... doesn't help the people who need it. You're right. And I'm sorry that it took Faith, and especially Lily, dying for us to do anything about it.

[He does care about the Fables he has to take care of, he really does. But being actively hated and feared for very good reasons makes it very hard for him to do anything about it.]

We're going to make the system better. We have to. Nobody wants this to happen again.

[Gren wants to tell him that sorry doesn't matter, that Bigby can be as sorry as he fucking wants, but Lily's dead either way and Holly didn't even get to give her sister a decent burial. Sorry won't bring her back up from the Witching Well.]

[But sometimes he gets really tired of being angry all the time, even if he's got a million things to be rightfully angry about. He unclenches his fist at his side and brings it up to his ruined shoulder instead, rubbing at the messed-up leftovers of his arm. His anger collapses like a fire that's eaten the kindling out from underneath itself.]

[Bigby doesn't sound insincere, and he knows that Snow wanted to help-- she tried, and she showed up to Lily's funeral and said some nice things, and that's a lot more than she had to do. She wanted to make things better and things really needed to get better.]

You know how fuckin' bad I want to believe that?

[He's just too old to put his faith in people anymore. He's seen it too many times, seen people start out with good intentions and end up changing nothing or just making everything worse.]

[Bigby's not entirely sure how he still has faith in people, to be honest. Could be that he spent so much time eating them as opposed to interacting with them that he hasn't lost that sense of belief or earnestness, or - whatever it was that meant not giving up on them. Which was almost impressive, since he and Grendel are probably around the same age. Whatever worth "age" has for a functionally immortal character.

But he gives Gren a sympathetic look - only a brief one, before looking away to busy himself with a cigarette pack. He might not know Gren beyond a somewhat shallow level, but he knows Gren wouldn't want his pity.]

...maybe when we get back I can get your advice on things. A different side of the story.

[It's not much. But maybe it'll help.]

[Gren laughs, a short and ugly sound.]

Don't bullshit me, Wolf.

[Things he's also too old for: being fed shit and told it's sugar. He knows that Wolf won't ask him for his advice on anything, and even if he did, there's no way that anyone in the business office would take it seriously. Maybe if it was Holly, she's better at that kind of thing and Snow at least seems to already sort of like her, but not him.]

It don't fuckin' matter til somebody gets out of here, anyway. And if I knew how to fuckin' do that, I wouldn't be here right now.

Test Drive Meme #8

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