dankmemes | test drive meme #13

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!test drive

test drive meme #13

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open September 24th, and apps are open October 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: DON'T LOOK AT ME
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to hop right on you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in several Boos, from the Mario video game series.

These monsters can be menacing, but are also incredibly shy. When looking directly at them, they will cover their faces and fade into the background- however, when turning away from them, they advance on you until they're in the perfect spot to take a nice big bite. The only way to defeat them is to escape this part of the level- that is, run madly away and try to keep up eye contact while you do so. They may look cartoonish, but those ghost teeth can be sharp!]

SCENARIO TWO: YOU'VE GOT RED ON YOU
[Hadriel is home to many things- temples, irate gods, angry citizens and... well, zombies, apparently. Beware as they start to walk/stagger/generally kind of shuffle around the streets of the city, since where there's one or two, there's usually a hundred more just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Zombies attack Hadriel by the dozen for this prompt, and nowhere in the city is technically safe from them! While they're not necessarily fast or intelligent, they have an advantage on you in that they have a lot more friends and they can't feel pain. So saddle up, bunker down, and try to survive the infestation!

This is a mini version of our Dead Men Walking event this month!]

R A G E

SCENARIO THREE: CAPTURE THE FLAG
[Hey, what's Hadriel without a few mind-numbingly stupid games to forget the fact that you're in a murdercave that routinely tries to scare the crap out of you while also maybe killing you every once in awhile? You're not quite sure who came up with this particular mind-numbingly stupid game, but you seem to be playing, so get your running shoes on and grab that inhaler!

This is a game of Capture the Flag, and thanks to Rage, you're really starting to feel that competitive spirit. You're going to win- you have to. So what if you incur a few fouls along the way?

There's a red team and a blue team for this prompt, with both teams trying to protect their corresponding flags. Try to strategize to take the other team's precious flag, chase someone from the opposing team down, or just go all out and full body tackle that poor guy who got a little too close to your territory- it's all on you!]

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Oh, you too? Same!

[The voice comes from a human-ish woman who emerges from behind some nearby trashcans. She grins, sprouting some insect wings of her own as she approaches, though hers are mismatched--one's a bit locust-like, the other is more like a dragonfly's, sticking directly out to the side. Look at this, it's a fly-spirit, maybe? Or something like it. All the usual animal spirits are well and good, but the insect ones are so much more interesting. All those weird buggy bodyparts.]

Or, well, not every day, but what else are you supposed to do with leftover apple seeds or peach pits? Can't very well serve them to most of the customers, no sirree-Bob. So, you're a fly of sorts, eh? Do you need some help? 'Fraid I don't know a Maahi--dear, I hope I'm saying that right--but I could eat a ghost or two if you'd like?

[Myia starts at the other voice, a little jumpy, and actually turns to see the strangely mismatched woman, which the Boos take as an opportunity to start approaching. She lets out a yeep of realization and quickly snaps her gaze back onto the Boos, looking at the new person out of the corner of her compound eye instead.

It's a bit hard. She's very nearsighted. She could wear glasses like so many other bugs-- and compromise her beauty?? Never.]

I'm a fruit fly, then what are you? A dragonhopper? Grassfly? Very weird, very weird. Don't know how you'd eat a ghost, I think they're, what's the word, like invisible but for touch, but you can try! You can definitely try! But I didn't tell you to do it if you die!

[If this weird mysterybug tries to eat a ghost and gets killed in the process, well, that just means Myia will definitely have food for a while. As long as she can stop the ghosts from eating the weird bug first.]

Ooh, a dragonhopper! I like it, that makes me sound adventurous, which I am! Oh, and don't worry, I've managed it earlier, mostly they just give you wicked gas. Mmmm, I think the word is "insubstantial," the word you were looking for?

[But anyway, there are ghosties to eat! It's not...exactly the easiest thing. It's kind of like trying to eat a soap bubble. It's certainly possible, but you have to aim right.]

[The trick is getting it to pop only once your mouth is closed. Or something like that. So in that case, the key is to just have a really big mouth.]

[Camille approaches the nearest Boo and sort of...splits open as she does, suddenly becoming all mouth, with rows and rows of teeth. The Boo has its eyes covered and can't even see its doom approaching.]

[She snaps closed around the Boo, teeth locking into place. Her whole body gives a sort of ripple, and then she turns humanoid again.]

[She flashes a grin and a thumbs-up at her new fly friend, then burps quietly.]

Ooh, erp. Yep, it sort of comes back to haunt you, don't it? Hu hu!

[Oh my god.

Oh my god??

The weird bug just changed and became something horrifying and Myia is... Okay, bugs change. Once upon a time, Myia was a little grub, mostly lumpy tube with nubby limbs and all mouth, wriggling with no wings and only the suggestion of limbs. One day, she hardened, and, over time, out wriggled a fly.

This isn't that.

This is something rapid, something unknowable, something dangerous. This bug (Is she a bug?) is a force to be reckoned with. She could easily eat anything, anyone she wanted. Including Myia.

Myia's laugh is nervous, quick and high-pitched and thin.]

Yes... A funny joke! Haunting like ghosts! I understand it!

[She spares a glance at potential exits -- she could fly up to the roof of that building there, the ghosteater could follow but Myia's quick, she knows how to run from danger.

It only takes a fraction of a second to look, and the remaining Boo only moves a few inches closer by the time her eyes are back in that direction. Myia gives a shaky thumbs up in return.]

Good job! Didn't think you could do it, but you did! Proved me wrong!

[Camille looks back at her and ah, yes, there's that usual look of wariness and/or actual panic. Ah, well. Thing is, there's no real way to make people not scared of you when you can literally be anything. Especially when you high-key actually want people to be a little afraid of you. You could turn into something soft and small and adorable, but it's not like people forget that you can also be huge and covered in teeth.]

[But whatever. She's mostly just here to meet the cool fly person and maybe steal some of her shapes. Helping her just happens to coincide with that.]

Hu hu hu, I am occasionally known for my humor, it's true.

[She notices the second Boo moving and just. Snaps it up really quickly. Then turns her whole self into a cricket the size of a small dog.]

There we go! This street is ghost-free. It is fun to prove people wrong, isn't it, though? You know, I think there are shelters of a sort, maybe that way?

[She points one segmented leg down the road in the opposite direction.]

I could walk you! Snap up any more ghosts? For all that they're rather tasteless. Ah, but don't worry, fly isn't on the menu right now! For I am a cricket! And crickets eat...I don't know, leaves?

[She watches with wide eyes as the second Boo is gobbled up -- and that's not going to get any easier to watch, is it, something just being eaten in one gulp like that, something insubstantial and in-- intangible, that's a word.

For all that Myia's world is ruthless, at least it doesn't have things like this shapechanger.

Crickets eating leaves? They eat anything, same as anyone else. Myia knew some harvesters that were crickets. One ate only the finest of spider eggs. Had them stolen from mothers. Real dick, that guy. And as much as Myia was eager to count herself among the harvesters, there were lines she couldn't cross.

Sapre made things easier. Sapre was her friend, before she wasn't. She was nice and understanding. "Myia, darling, you don't have to be like anyone but yourself. That's the beauty of being a harvester, isn't it?"

Myia never really got used to it.]

Don't say strange things! Crickets eat anything. Anyone eats anything. Unless they're rich and squeamish and only eat the synthetics.

[She nods to herself, eyes closed, then remembers the offer to walk her to a shelter and, god, is she being led to her death? She's not, right? She's not! But is she? She opens one compound eye and squints it suspiciously at the cricket. Dragonhopper. Whatever.]

Anyone can say they won't eat a fly, including a flytrap! [Well, she knows a flytrap that's mostly a dweeb, but that doesn't stop her from being suspicious of and thus butting heads with him.] I don't have to believe a thing you say! But... [She glances around nervously.] If I walk towards shelter, and you follow along, well, there's nothing anyone can say about that!

[Because as scary as the cricket is, she's proving to be a better ally than an enemy. ...Sorta similar to the flytrap, really.]

[Welp, she clearly chose the wrong shape. But then again, if she'd wanted to go completely non-threatening she could have just turned into a large, mobile cotton ball or something, but that's no fun. Exoskeletons are super weird and awesome, plus she likes how high crickets can jump.]

Well, that's very true! Smart of you to be cautious, especially in such a strange town. Though I resent the implication that I am rich and/or that I would eat anything synthetic! No way! Nothing synthetic in my baking, I'll tell you that right now! All natural ingredients.

[Including all natural dead flies, sometimes, but anyway.]

But, very well! I will follow you. I'll even be polite and keep my distance! Also, do you really know a talking flytrap? Because that's downright neat. I haven't met very many talking plants, except for dryads and certain fairies.

[Myia's never had a synthetic food at all, so she can't say anything as to the taste of it. In fact, if you put a plate of synthetic food in front of her, she'd eat it just for the luxury factor. But Sapre was her only wealthy friend, and she certainly never ate synthetic food.]

Always good to be cautious! Danger everywhere! Danger in your silly baking!

[With that, Myia spins on her segmented heel and starts off toward the buildings in the distance. Every once in a while, she glances back at the weird cricket, either to check if she's still following or to make sure she's not being snuck up on. Who can say either way? Certainly not even Myia herself.]

Carmine is a flytrap! They really are covered in mouths! He even has some on his stomach! I've seen him eat with them! So gross! So ugly! He's the one that led me through the forest to his old village. Weird guy, weird guy. Don't know why he sticks around still! Don't know what dryads are, and fairies are fakey fake! So you are a liar after all. A storyteller!

Oh, you're not wrong at all! Especially concerning my baking! I mean, one creature's poison is another creature's delicious treat, you know? Can't go serving chocolate to dogs, and I can't go serving rocks to humans. I have some customers who happily eat pesticides, and you can imagine what a nightmare that would be if some of my insect customers got at those!

[Reasons why she is extremely careful in her kitchen. Cross contamination is serious business!]

Well, how interesting! Lots of mouths, eh? I can get behind that! More mouths, more eating. You could taste one thing with one mouth and something else with another one! I've tried that before, it's very fun, really adds a certain dimension to flavor profiles.

[She hops a little closer, making a few cricket chirps.]

Now now! I do lie now and then, but I'm not lying now, to be sure! Fairies are certainly real where I'm from, though hu hu hu, the look on their faces if someone tried to tell them they weren't! That would shut their hoity-toity faces right up!

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test drive meme #13

i

this is a match made in hell

i'm so happy also CW BODY HORROR?

i love camille

i love myia oh my god this precious fly

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