dankmemes | test drive meme #13

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open September 24th, and apps are open October 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: DON'T LOOK AT ME
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to hop right on you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in several Boos, from the Mario video game series.

These monsters can be menacing, but are also incredibly shy. When looking directly at them, they will cover their faces and fade into the background- however, when turning away from them, they advance on you until they're in the perfect spot to take a nice big bite. The only way to defeat them is to escape this part of the level- that is, run madly away and try to keep up eye contact while you do so. They may look cartoonish, but those ghost teeth can be sharp!]

SCENARIO TWO: YOU'VE GOT RED ON YOU
[Hadriel is home to many things- temples, irate gods, angry citizens and... well, zombies, apparently. Beware as they start to walk/stagger/generally kind of shuffle around the streets of the city, since where there's one or two, there's usually a hundred more just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Zombies attack Hadriel by the dozen for this prompt, and nowhere in the city is technically safe from them! While they're not necessarily fast or intelligent, they have an advantage on you in that they have a lot more friends and they can't feel pain. So saddle up, bunker down, and try to survive the infestation!

This is a mini version of our Dead Men Walking event this month!]

R A G E

SCENARIO THREE: CAPTURE THE FLAG
[Hey, what's Hadriel without a few mind-numbingly stupid games to forget the fact that you're in a murdercave that routinely tries to scare the crap out of you while also maybe killing you every once in awhile? You're not quite sure who came up with this particular mind-numbingly stupid game, but you seem to be playing, so get your running shoes on and grab that inhaler!

This is a game of Capture the Flag, and thanks to Rage, you're really starting to feel that competitive spirit. You're going to win- you have to. So what if you incur a few fouls along the way?

There's a red team and a blue team for this prompt, with both teams trying to protect their corresponding flags. Try to strategize to take the other team's precious flag, chase someone from the opposing team down, or just go all out and full body tackle that poor guy who got a little too close to your territory- it's all on you!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

But don't take my word for it! I mean, what if y'just up and trusted me like it was nothin'? I could be givin' you two truths and a rye here!

[YOU'RE PLAYING IN HIS COURT NOW. GAME. SET. MATCH.]

[Somewhere in the middle of all this, she literally rolls away across the roof, laughing and turning into a sort of armadillo cat to better facilitate the rolling. She's absolutely cackling.]

Oh, Powers! I'm dying! It's too much!

[She ends up on her back and wheels six paws in the air.]

Ohhh, he thinks he can out-bread-pun a baker, does he? Hu hu hu! You had best baguette, Bluebird, because there's dough way you can beat me! Although it's nice to see you flax-ing some pun muscles, so to speak, but I'm not sure you can rise to the occasion! Or can you give me a good raisin why you think you'll win this com-bread-tition?

[Oh hell yes it is on.

He's havin' a right ball with it too, even if his reaction is considerably more subdued. He chuckles cheerfully as she goes and strings 'em all together.]

I don't want naan of your doubt here. I am a seasoned pun-master of heretofore unknown proportions, and I got a whole lotta material to reap from. Wheat should make a day of it, maybe get ourselves a stage and an audience, 'cause ya might just have to bánh mì from your place when we're done here.

Lemme tell ya, lady: you're toast.

Ohoho! A worthy adver-seed-ry! I almost pita you for the existential bread and pan you will soon feel! Even if you have a zest for puns, I've bean at this for over twenty years! I'll have you bageling for mercy before you sow it! You're really sandwiched between a rock and a hard-crust place now, mister skeleton!

I bread your pardon, but I think you might've fogaccia 'bout a few key points here, buddo.

[He slips a hand from his pocket long enough to jab a thumb in the direction of his chest with an air of false pride - gotta be strictly false pride, see, 'cause actual pride would require a modicum of self-esteem, which he's pretty sure he ain't got.]

Me? I'm an old hat. I ain't good at much, but puns, y'see, are my raisin d'être. You'd butter believe that outta the two of us, you doughnut stand a chance. And, c'mon, look at this. Now we're in a real jam, 'cause you 'n me, we're goin' against the grain here.

[Oh Powers, this is ridiculous and so fun.]

Your raisin d'être, oh yikes, that's a good one! I must say, you're certainly not waffle-ing about this! You're anything but crepey at puns, I'll give you that! But, you're right, maybe we're gluten away from ourselves! This is challah fun, and we should obviously do this allspice the time!

It's a date.

[Food-based puns just roll from the metaphorical tongue so easily, y'know?]

Piece of cake, I like to say. Maybe impietuous of me to presume you'd go along with it, so I won't sugarcoat it any. In spice of that, I'm thinkin' we oughta spread it around some.

I won't lime to you, I've had a grape time here, punning with you! You're white though, we should make a real pearty out of it, s-bread the loaf around! Scone be fun, I think! Except for the pun haters. They might bran us from the city entirely!

You're usin' some of the same jokes; I call foul.

[But it's clear from his tone that he's not the least bit malicious pointing it out.]

Or fowl, if you'll allow me one poultry little meat-based pun there. But, uh, yeah, I know a few guys who might have a bone or two to pick with us when we're done.

[She turns more human shaped, sprouting upward and coming to stop at about Sans's height again.]

Ohhh, okay, okay! You win this round, Bluebird. I'm all oat. But you've caught me on an off day, and all, so we shall have to have a rematch!

Pfft, I can imagine the look on some of my customers' faces! My sisterthing would have loved this, though. She's the type to be real quiet and then wow you with a real killer! My brother, ah--less so. Never was much a fan of puns. Preferred limericks.

Hey, you 'n me both. My brother, man, he would be screamin' at us both by now.

[All in good fun, of course. He knows the limit to that kinda thing, and knows when to not playfully push those buttons. Workin' off of each other, though, that's part of their combined charm.]

Hu hu, he seems the type! Wonder if he'd like limericks?

Y'know, I got no clue. Might as well ask him and see, right?

I shall have to ask him next time I see him!

[She'll have to come up with a good one.]

[He would pay good money to see that.]

Please do. If puns aren't his poison, [even if he knows for a fact that they are,] maybe other forms of wordplay will float his pontoon.

Float his pontoon, I like that! We shall have to see, hu hu hu!

Heh, yeah. Guess we will.

test drive meme #13

DONE

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wrapped yo?

ye :D