dankmemes | test drive meme #14

Entry tags:

!test drive

test drive meme #14

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st. Please remember that starting in December, there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to destroy you for your vegetarian ways. This time, the Door has brought in a large group of Killer Tomatoes, from the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie.

While it is not immediately clear how these odd creatures can kill you, rest assured that you should be quaking in your boots. They can bite with their weird little tomato mouths, they can roll after you surprisingly fast, and they can even explode! Truly terrifying. But if you manage to defeat some of these agents of terror and chaos, you could make some mean salsa.]

D R A G O N A G E

SCENARIO TWO: VACATION IN THEDAS
[While you're exploring the city, perhaps you'll run into another creature that's slipped through a rift and is exploring along with you - or perhaps hunting would be a better term. Yes, Hadriel is teeming with demons straight from Thedas.

Perhaps you'll run into a desire demon, who will offer you your deepest wish - in exchange for your body and soul, of course. Perhaps you'll find a pride demon, who will play upon your strengths and weaknesses until you give in to them. Or maybe it'll be a despair demon, there to crush all your hopes and dreams.

Or maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll just find a nug.

This is a mini version of our Fadeout event this month!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: SWEDISH MANUFACTURING
[You're in luck! You know that thing you've always wanted? Doesn't matter what it is - a cool weapon, a nice dress, a well-made bedstand, a rare magical invention. Whatever it is, you just managed to find it! Whoa!

Or, well, you managed to find a box with a picture of the item on it. When you open the box, you find all the necessary components for making that item, along with illustrated instructions for putting it together. There's no written instructions, just pictures, but you're smart, you can figure it out! And it'll look just like the photo on the box. You're sure of it.

Better get building! Okay, the instructions don't entirely make sense - did you screw that part in upside down? Wait, are these pages out of order? Maybe you can ask that person nearby for help, or maybe you'll just sink into the depths of confusion and despair. But keep trying! Just think of what you'll get if you succeed!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Matt would expect this kind of thing from himself, but some other blind dude? Weird. Very weird. ]

You seriously just picked up a box and decided to go for it? [ How... ~~Man Without Fear of you~~ fearless. Sure, Matt'll help you out. Duh. This is exactly the kind of mundane shit he'd do with Foggy to prove dumb points. ]

Sure, I can help out. If you don't mind the blind leading the blind.

[ [rimshot] oh those blind jokes ]

[ matt manages to set aside whatever pride he has about this other random dude long enough to laugh at his joke. good one, random stranger ]

What else do you expect me to do? You can only go stand around in caves as monster-bait* for so long before that gets boring.

[*mercilessly killing monsters for fun and violence]

Honestly, you've got to find something to entertain yourself and I'm guessing this will keep me occupied for several hours. And with your help...[he considers this for a moment and grins] probably still several hours.

[ Aw yeah, blind jokes, the Matt Murdock constant. ]

I hear you there.*

[ *I, too, engage in dangerous activities that involve punching evildoers and monsters in the face with my fists. Matt snorts. That's not a great vote of confidence there, buddy... but then again, Ikea. ]

We'll just see about that. [ Challenge? Accepted. ] How long can it take?

[punching evildoers good joke

matt shrugs at his question though]

Like I said, several hours. Try and keep up.

[ Rude af dude but at least Matt's a glutton for punishment and must now build this quicker in order to spite you. Because that's how these things work. ]

So where do we start?

Okay, well, there's apparently two long skinny pieces and we're going to need that.

[i guess they are
really
doing this
okay guys]

[ Matt feels around for two long skinny pieces-- waitaminute ]

How, uh, how are you reading the instructions, exactly?

[ I mean he 'saw' Murdock reading it but he didn't think those things came in Braille?? ]

[there's something there. something about the question that isn't quite right, like matt isn't startled by the right points. maybe it's nothing, but matt is pretty great at reading people. but rather than remark on it, he'll just answer his question. sometimes being forthright was way more effective than evading. sometimes saying something like it's normal when it clearly wasn't is a weirdly incredible tactic]

With my fingers - how else would I read anything?

[ You can definitely catch him, Murderdock, Matt would never assume there was anything up with this guy, except.....

Except how the fuck is he reading Ikea instructions, Foggy tried to get Matt to help him with a table one time and it was a disaster. ]

These aren't printed in braille, are they?

[this is so much easier with sighted people, he realizes belatedly. they always get instantly guilty and stop asking questions. this dude, on the other hand...

well, what the hell, they'd already been kidnapped to some cave what was the point of pretense anymore]

No. You know that when you lose sense you get stronger in all the other ones? [he laughs] Yeah that's totally not true but I do have super powers so I guess it worked out.

[ Matt fucking shocks, what the fuck Matthew Michael Murdock, that's not something you fucking say to a stranger what the fuck!!!! ]

How? What?!

[ Matt's obviously way more upset about this than he should be I WONDER... IF IT HITS CLOSE TO HOME OR SOMETHING... ]

It's a pretty sweet skill set, if I do say so myself.

[and i mean, he is, so.]

Like, imagine with me for a moment, okay? Say you're standing around with a complete stranger who is lying to you. Their heartbeat would skip and sing and tell you exactly where the lie was. [he grins, dangerous and honestly kind of creepy] No one would ever be able to catch you off guard. You'd always have the upper-hand.

[ Matt frowns, severely hating this guy already. He doesn't have to see to know he's grinning like a total asshole. ]

Wouldn't telling people about your whole "powers thing" take away whatever advantage they give you.

No?

[no???????????????????????????]

[ WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS, FUCK!!!

hah jk Matt is still totally stoic, he is a pillar of stoicism even if, apparently, this guy can tell he's fucking pissed. ]

Who are you?

[i mean he can tell matt is fucking pissed bu who isn't when they deal with him? he honestly probably lives off that shit now.

anyway, he doesn't miss a beat he's not going to be phased by your anger dude]

Matthew Murdock, attorney at law. [ :))))) ] I'd give you a business card, but, well.

Edited 2016-11-23 17:19 (UTC)

[ ......................................nope.

No.

Matt doesn't. He. Does Not.

That is not what he wanted to hear, in fact it is the opposite.

This is some weird alternate universe cave bullshit. What.

FUCKK!!! ]

Funny, that's my name too.

[ IT'S NOT FUNNY AT ALL in fact it's negative funny to Matt but he's become animmobile statue of rage so he's pretty sure if he moved right now he'd just rupture a vessel. ]

Right down to the... attorney at law bit.

Wow, that is fascinating.

[but he doesn't say it like sarcasm, he says it like he truly is 100% fascinated. he leans forward on his cane more into matt's space, as if it matters whether he's closer to him or not to get a sense of him. it's about the sentiment of the gesture and making people nervous more than it is the goal of it.]

Let me be the first to congratulate you for not dying prematurely. [why matt why] You seem to have it all together. [he gestures at him (why) and smiles. at least hes taking this in stride i guess]

[ Matt wants to punch this other Matt so bad right now. How did another version of him come out this... smarmy? Gross. Why. Why this.

At the very least, Matt doesn't react to Murdock getting up in his space. He's just as bright in his world on fire there than he would be if he stepped back like five feet. Which would be an acceptable alternative right now. ]

Yeah, this cave doesn't normally just hand out Ikea boxes. Dragons and demons are more the usual fare.

[ So YEAH it is a big deal that he's doing okay and he will take that compliment however backhanded you may intend it to be, Murderdock. ]

[maybe he meant it maybe its maybelline]

Dragons and demons? That must've been fun.

Oh, loads of fun.

[ < sarcasm > ]

I hear we might get killer tomatoes next, that should be a riot.

It'll make for a tasty crime scene.

[go home jesus]

[ Face, meet palm. I cannot fucking believe you are Matthew Michael Murdock, you memeing fuck. ]

How are we the same person. What the hell kind of universe did you come from?

Aw, spoilers.

[i see your memes and raise you another one, bitch.]

[ FUCK YOU OKAY, that's actually enough to break Matt's stoic little act and have him snap at Murderdock. ]

That's not an answer.

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