test drive meme #14

[hadrielmods]

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st. Please remember that starting in December, there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:

1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to destroy you for your vegetarian ways. This time, the Door has brought in a large group of Killer Tomatoes, from the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie.

While it is not immediately clear how these odd creatures can kill you, rest assured that you should be quaking in your boots. They can bite with their weird little tomato mouths, they can roll after you surprisingly fast, and they can even explode! Truly terrifying. But if you manage to defeat some of these agents of terror and chaos, you could make some mean salsa.]

D R A G O N A G E

SCENARIO TWO: VACATION IN THEDAS
[While you're exploring the city, perhaps you'll run into another creature that's slipped through a rift and is exploring along with you - or perhaps hunting would be a better term. Yes, Hadriel is teeming with demons straight from Thedas.

Perhaps you'll run into a desire demon, who will offer you your deepest wish - in exchange for your body and soul, of course. Perhaps you'll find a pride demon, who will play upon your strengths and weaknesses until you give in to them. Or maybe it'll be a despair demon, there to crush all your hopes and dreams.

Or maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll just find a nug.

This is a mini version of our Fadeout event this month!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: SWEDISH MANUFACTURING
[You're in luck! You know that thing you've always wanted? Doesn't matter what it is - a cool weapon, a nice dress, a well-made bedstand, a rare magical invention. Whatever it is, you just managed to find it! Whoa!

Or, well, you managed to find a box with a picture of the item on it. When you open the box, you find all the necessary components for making that item, along with illustrated instructions for putting it together. There's no written instructions, just pictures, but you're smart, you can figure it out! And it'll look just like the photo on the box. You're sure of it.

Better get building! Okay, the instructions don't entirely make sense - did you screw that part in upside down? Wait, are these pages out of order? Maybe you can ask that person nearby for help, or maybe you'll just sink into the depths of confusion and despair. But keep trying! Just think of what you'll get if you succeed!]

Comments

matt murdock | marvel comics (earth-65)

[notthekingpin]

Scenario Three: Swedish Manufacturing

[not only do these pictographs not actually make sense to anyone trying to make sense of them, they're also decidedly not in braille. you know, sweden, you make this booklet entirely out of pictures to help the language barrier across your vast and unending market that spans the world and may, in fact, one day reach aliens, but how are the blind suppose to read your instructions? did you think of that, sweden? accessibility failure.

which, okay, might be true for your average blind human. but matt murdock is not your average blind human, he's a goddman ninja with superpowers who can see color with his finger tips. so, i mean, who is the real winner here?

so here he is, one tall, red-headed "average blind lawyer," running his fingers along the stupid drawings in the stupid swedish furniture booklet trying to decide what he's feeling here. some of the parts seem to indeed be marked with numbers but the screws don't have numbers on them themselves. this seems like a huge oversight!! and I'm pretty sure one of these pages includes not one but two extra swedish people to help you put this together, which, I'm pretty sure were not listed on the "make sure you have all these extra parts" page.

look, he knows there's going to be a really incredibly great acquisition when all is said and done and have i mentioned the goddamn ninja part yet, because he will definitely not be bested by some stupid thing in a box with stupid pictograms printed with stupid ink on stupid paper he can barely read.]

Hey! You have working eyes, right? [wow uncanny he totally knew you were right there] Would you mind coming here and following along with this ancient furniture ritual with me? I'm afraid I can't quite see the directions.

killbill showdown.mp3

[devilsavocado]

[ Well, that's not something Matt hears every day. Or "sees" as it were, since he can use his definitely superior world on fire senses to feel how this not-Matt Murdock is scanning the pages with his fingers. ]

Sure don't. [ This would somehow be a lot more fun if other Matt could see. But apparently he can't so can two blind guys really put together an Ikea.... something? Let's find out. This level of stubbornness can only be found in the Murdock gene. ]

What are you even making?

Chrysanthe de Tania ❧ OC ❧ will match style

[contritumella]

one.

[ It's a fruit. A giant, toothy fruit and for a moment Chrysanthe just stares at it because what is she supposed to do? Fillet it? Pat it on it's side and tell it what a good giant food it is? She doesn't see the threat at first, until one of them rolls up to her and explodes.

BOOM! Tomato bits everywhere, especially in her hair.

Chrysanthe starts screaming. Mostly, honestly, at the mess. ]

three.

[ What is she trying to build? It's difficult to say, primarily because the image on the box keeps shifting every time it's looked at and all the parts have hinges that swing in four directions.

That doesn't stop her from trying, though. ]

one

[livandletdie]

[Screaming usually means pain or fear. Or both. Or zombie attacks. Liv follows the sound (with the added bonus of fleeing a handful of tomatoes baring their teeth at her), ready to go full-on zombie if need be, when she sees what she thinks is blood.]

Oh my god -- are you all right? Did those things hurt you?

Liv Moore | iZombie | will match format

[livandletdie]

vacation in thedas, take 1: desire

[This can't be real. There's no cure for the zombie virus, and there's definitely no way this monster can make her human again.

But damn if Liv isn't thinking about taking its offer anyway.]

I don't know. My body isn't exactly in the best condition to trade right now, and my soul is the only part of me that's still me, so I feel like this deal is going to end up screwing you over more than it does me.

[It's cool, stranger walking by who notices this exchange. Liv's got this. She's haggling. She's totally got this.

No she doesn't, please help her.]


vacation in thedas, take 2: despair - cw suicidal ideation

[And she'd thought post-traumatic ennui was bad. This is total despair, with the added bonus of being six to the ???th power under. Undead and buried. Useless. Helpless. Her real fate as a zombie is looming on the edges of her awareness because she can't run away from it anymore. There's no morgue in this city and nobody ever stays dead, so really, it's only a matter of time.

She should save everyone the trouble and just end it now. Hell, maybe Hope will bring her back as a mortal. Yeah, right. Given she's already part dead, any attempts at revival will just end up killing her more.)

She's fucked, but it's better this way.]

It's been nice knowing you, weird underground cave city. And you, freaky demon thing that actually talks sense. [As you pass by her, Liv looks at you.] And you too, stranger I just met. May your life be better than mine ever was.


confusion

[This was supposed to be a bookshelf. It looks like an adirondack style chair.

Liv curses under her breath as she turns the directions upside-down.] I knew I should've screwed the side on. What was I thinking, hammering a nail into it? [She sighs heavily.] Where's a carpenter brain when you need one.

confusion'

[assistanting]

No, you've got it backwards. You need to put that piece the other way.

[dont listen to her]

Edward Elric | Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

[transmutate]

scenario one: killer tomatoes

[Edward isn't even sure what started this particular altercation, but there are vegetables after him and the only good thing he can say about it is for once he's fighting something shorter than him. His automail arm is transformed into a blade and he's slicing them and dodging, getting tomato juice and pulp everywhere, but still they keep coming and coming.

He needs a way out, and he needs a way out fast. So he starts drawing them together, backing up and backing up until it looks like they've got him cornered.

Then he smirks, claps his hands, and reaches out to touch the mass of tomatoes coming at him. He stops the alchemy cycle at destruction, the same way Scar does, leading to a massive explosion of tomatoes that spurts everywhere and coats the streets and Ed himself in sticky red juice.

He staggers out of the alley, hand transformed back to normal, giving a low laugh.]

If you really wanted to scare me, you should have gone with killer milk. That would have been much more disgusting.

scenario three: swedish manufacturing

[Ed is sitting surrounded by parts and staring at the instructions. He's been looking for a new bed, and here one is, only it's in pieces and the instructions are some of the least helpful things he's ever seen.]

Maybe it's encoded? But why would they sell a bed with instructions in code?

[It doesn't make sense, and yet he keeps staring and staring and wondering what the point is of such terrible instructions. Finally, he stands, letting out a frustrated growl.]

Ahhh, screw this! [He crushes the instructions into a ball and hurls it away as hard as he can.] This is pointless! I don't need any stupid instructions to tell me how to make something!

[He claps his hands, a slight hum emanating from them, then slaps his hands onto the ground. There's a flash of blue light, and then the bed stands fully formed, though perhaps with a bit of Ed's own style worked in. He brushes his hands off, smirking.]

There. That's better than the stupid instructions would have had me do it.

[He looks around, slowly realizing that there was, perhaps, one small flaw with his brilliant plan. Like the fact that he didn't wait to bring the box back to his room and instead just dumbed the box out right where he was.]

Now how the hell am I going to get it inside?

three;

[iustitiae]

[ok, real talk: connor was going to come over and help him with ikea hell but then ed does all of, well, that.]

Well that was impressive. Solves the yelling over directions problem.

[truly, priorities. but much more importantly:]

Can you make it float, too? Because that seems like a really weird place to leave your bed.

Ranma Saotome | Ranma 1/2

[mistermistress]

Scenario One: How Saucy

Ranma is looking around, rather nonplussed at his surroundings. Just how did he get here, anyway? He's never been to any place like this, it's weird. Did he fall asleep someplace weird? Did someone toss him here out of spite? Who knows? Oh, well. As he wanders along, he sees something move towards him.

A tomato? Where did that come from? It was rolling, so maybe someone had tossed it. As he tries to walk the direction it came from though, he notices it changes directions with him. What the Hell...? And it seems to be picking up pace to follow him.

He jumps and dodges it, curious to if there's such a thing as sentient tomatoes. He certainly finds it more odd than threatening. Before long, though, more show up, and then more. Seriously, where are these things coming from? And then he sees it.

These things have faces! And rather sinister ones, at that. While he's probably seen stranger things, like himself, that's still pretty damn creepy! And the numbers at which they seem to be gathering is becoming annoying at best. He sets himself and starts throwing kicks and punches, squashing anything within reach. How scary can sinister tomatoes be? This is easy!

Until one of them bites his arm and he yells out in a surprised pain. "What the Hell!?" He flings it off and stomps it promptly. He calls bullshit! What kind of zoo is this? He roars in frustration as he starts pummeling more tomatoes. These things are a real thorn in his side, and he'll be damned if he's taken out by some ugly-ass fruit.

[shadowsangel]

If there's one thing Ryou's awful at, it's staying inside when there are dangerous creatures out and about. But really, after man-eating lizards and giant demons, what harm is a few tomatoes? He's managed to avoid most of them while out shopping, dodging between buildings, allies, ruins, whatever it takes to stay out of their way, but then just as he's rounding a corner, suddenly he finds himself covered in the splatter of tomato juice.

For a moment he stands there in shock, not quite sure just what on Earth happened, and then he sees a boy who's... well... That's one way to take care of them, he supposes. Brushing off what bits of the disgusting splattering of juice he can, Ryou is very careful to side step most of the mess and use his school bag as a shield whenever a splatter comes too close to his face for comfort. It's not until he's sure most of the creatures are dead, or close enough, before speaking up. He wouldn't want to ruin the other's concentration and be the cause of him getting hurt.

"Are you quite alright?"

Katsuya Suou | Persona 2

[catsuya]

[ how saucy ]

[Okay, so he was startled the first time he saw the tomatoes. Sentient, weaponized vegetation is no joke, despite how comical it might seem. Their speed was even alarming. But in the end, their behavior is predictable, he's faced much more threatening supernatural entities, and he has his gun with him. Ultimately, they are still tomatoes. And that means they explode dramatically when shot.

After a few such saucy encounters, he ends up with a large quantity of liquid splattered across his suit, which might be disturbing were it not tomato sauce.

He seems almost irritated the next time he encounters a rogue tomato, unholstering his gun easily.]

This is just getting ridiculous.

[Except, shock and horror, he misses! And the tomato is coming at him too fast for him to recover in time--!]

Shi--

[Oh, the humanity.]

[ swedish manufacturing ]

[These instructions make no sense, but you'd never know it from the sheer determination with which Katsuya sets about constructing this table anyway.

This was designed by humans, which means it must make some sort of sense, and Katsuya will not let it beat him. ...Even if his conviction is starting to wane. Maybe this is a test put to him by a demon after all, somehow, and that means he can't give up at any cost.

His vision is starting to blur--no. He will not let this beat him.

That doesn't mean he's immune to getting hella frustrated, though. Especially when the next part of assembly calls for a piece he's pretty sure doesn't even exist. He's so engrossed in what he's doing, and so worked up doing it, that he'll probably jump ten feet in the air if you interrupted him.]

let's get saucy

[endeudado]

[ Jesper Fahey is a seventeen-tear-old sharpshooter and he runs with a gang so you're gonna have to forgive him for being 6'3" and way too young to be looking so comfortable while dual-wielding pistols. By now he's shot every rogue tomato that's come his way and has managed to, 1. not get any tomato sauce on him and, 2. look good doing it.

But he also helps Katsuya because that's kind of what you do when you're attacked by evil vegetables, you don't leave people to get veganized, Saints forbid. ]

You can thank me later. [ He smiles, shooting the tomato with enough care that the bullet only flies past Katsuya's head. What can I say? Jesper's got good aim. ]

jessica riley ( until dawn ) this is a terrible idea what am i doing

[dutchbraids]

SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY

[ Jess has made it out of the colosseum, one arm held to her torso and a smattering of dried over scratches covering her face, and out onto the streets. She's confused, scared, and honestly quite pissed off; it's a weird combination of feelings and she's not too sure which one to focus on. So she decides to try to ignore all of them and just focus on figuring out where the hell she is and how she got here.

Unfortunately, the tomatoes have a different plan.

They come from random piles of rubble and she doesn't actually notice them until they're surrounding her feet. She stops abruptly for fear of tripping and then attempts to back up, confusion and fear starting to win out. ]

Are you freaking kidding me? [ One of them tries to bite her but she kicks it away, then starts moving backwards even faster. ] I always knew tomatoes were evil!

[unfollowing]

[Now that Matt's here, Emily doesn't feel the need to go by the colosseum anymore. However, since she figures it's generally safe to be in the city on arrival day, she goes to the sewing shop like normal.

She would ignore the voices outside like normal too, except she recognizes this one. It snaps her out of the flow of her stitching work, makes her heart skip a beat. (With what, though? Hope, because she gets to see Jess again after she was here for only a month? Fear, because she doesn't want to see if this Jess went through all the things that first her had gone through? Rage, because they haven't worked out their shit and therefore Emily is still mad at her? Maybe all of them -- hello, Confusion.)

It must be the gods fucking with her or something, but better safe than sorry. Emily puts her sewing down on the table and heads outside.

Nope, not the gods. That's totally Jess.

Emily dodges the tomato that comes flying her way and responds reflexively.]

What the fuck is your problem! I'm here to make sure you're not getting mauled by something and you just throw shit at me?

Han Solo | Star Wars

[carbonfrozen]

[one: return of the killer tomato]

[Han's seen some things in his time, flying from one end of the galaxy to the other then very reluctantly (he'll insist) working for the Rebellion: good things, bad things, things that he wishes he'd never even seen in his life, things he keeps close to his chest like a winning hand in sabacc.

He has never seen killer tomatoes before. He has definitely never seen them try to swarm him like this before, which is really more annoying than anything. He really wishes Chewie were around to help out, it'd be much easier to fend off a swarm of round, sharp-toothed little monsters with a Wookiee around.

Currently, he's trapped in a dead-end alleyway and taking cover behind a dumpster, shooting at killer vegetables. He's trying to clear himself a path through the swarm, but so far no luck--for every tomato he shoots (or for every one that explodes near him, there's bits of tomato all over him from previous skirmishes), another one rolls into place.

He really should've borrowed Chewie's bowcaster, he thinks.]

[three: swedish furniture empire strikes back]

[Finally! After two hours of blood, sweat, tears and creative cursing, Han--with, perhaps, you as well--stands back to admire the results of his hard work--]

That's not a hologame table.

[He says it flatly, crossing his arms and squinting at the--well. It was supposed to be a hologame table for playing dejarik. It does not look like one.]

I think it barely even counts as a table.

[...whoops?]

obviously this is an imperial initiative

[fulcra]

[ it had seemed so promising. a new person from her home galaxy that didn't have sith or imperial leanings, who was actually involved with the rebellion she's put so much into. and then they'd found the box for the diy dejarik table and neither of them had been able to resist.

and yet here they are. it should be finished and maybe it is but it sure doesn't look anything like any dejarik table ahsoka's ever seen. ]

No. It's definitely a table from this angle.

[ she's lying. lying with her hands folded together in front of her mouth, her expression struggling between exhausted amusement and frustration. ]

eva blair / annette devereux 《 original 》

[understate]

⟨ damn i miss doritos ⟩
( you know how you kind of think you've seen everything? like, you get to 23 years of being alive/undead and you think well, I know how the world works?

because Eva thought that. right up until there were weird, overgrown tomatoes rolling up towards her. that's... new.

so are the teeth.

let's hope they're not looking for blood, because they're not about to find any. she hasn't fed in weeks as is.

(man, there's more than a few heartbeats here already. not good.)

but, back to the point. which is that the correct way to deal with a tomato nibbling you is:
a) fight it
b) ... ) Would you mind?

( ... ask it, reasonably politely?

Eva honey no. )

⟨ & what stole your soul? ⟩
( that's the thing about the undead, about why the necromancer's spell all those centuries ago resulted in Vampires being a very real part of the world: they're even more determined to survive than humans.

(Eva knows this, all too well. whether from fighting or from-

well, let's not go there. suffice to say she hasn't found a way out of this abomination of a curse, that she's trying to live with it instead.)

she doesn't want to fight - doesn't like the reminder of what she is, the powers that she never had before, entirely hates the magic she used to use so freely - but the presence of the demons alone is enough to send sharp shocks down her spine, to cause her to shiver and gather magic to cast barriers around herself or-

occasionally, which you might just see, cause sparking, electric cages to wrap tight around anything that gets too near, that makes her throat close with panic.

you should probably hope you don't surprise her when she's finished caging and running. she might just hit you too.

sorry? )

⟨ wildcard ⟩
( hit me with anything. )

2

[makeshiftkingdom]

[This is a bad day. There have been worse but Sol isn't stuck in one of those right now. No, she's stuck here, covered in tomato guts and snarling to herself, hands twitching and clutching at the lone paintbrush she's somehow - stupidily - managed to hang onto. In the midst of everything, getting torn away from the cabin and Cousin Ben and stupid, beautiful Anna, the universe has left Sol with her paintbrush.

It's gone stiff and probably won't be useful much longer unless she gets it cleaned, but there it is.

Sol snaps her teeth at the brush, offended not so much by its presence as what it represents. Stupid thing.

Then someone crashes straight into her. It hurts.

Sol twists, ducking low, and snarls out a warning. She's still human right now, still tall and spindly and weak, but the growl hints at something much larger contained within her skin. Something angry and not keen on taking shit.]

Back. Off!

[The thing - woman? monster? dangerous - doesn't smell right, not human, no sir, something else, and Sol has the sudden urge to prove that she's the scariest thing in any forest. She's only ever felt that way when other wolves come slinking out of the dark and into her territory, but this girl is no wolf.]

Sol Lee - Original

[makeshiftkingdom]

[ two ]

[There's a naked rabbit staring at her.

Sol tips her head to the side. Her joints are screaming, begging for rest, but the thing is small and oh so tasty looking. It probably can't run that fast.

What's a little pain compared with fresh meat, after all?

Come distract the werewolf if you dare. She might be drooling a bit. She's definitely turning a paintbrush over and over in her hands like a tic.]

[ three ]

[A large black wolf....thing is currently biting the hell out of what looks like a mess of Ikea odds and ends. The instructions have been thoroughly shredded and partially eaten, their words blurred and useless.

It was supposed to be an easel. Now it's a kindling.

Sol growls, shaking one of the planks hard. It ought to be punished for frustrating her.]

[ Streets ]

[She has tomato guts on her dress. Sol lifts the hem with a grimace, baring her teeth. It will have to be scrubbed thoroughly and then patched. Possibly sections will have to be replaced. She hates tomatoes. Almost as much as she hates fire and the stink of gasoline.

In the meantime, she's full of aches and too tired to spend the energy wandering. You might find her perched on a stoop somewhere, sniffing the air in a decidedly dog-like fashion.]

You! What is this?

[ wildcard ]

[Hit me.]

streets

[devilsavocado]

[ Oh boy, when it comes to leading himself by his senses, Matt's a pro. With rabid tomatoes attacking the cave, he's had to give up the act here and there (when no one's looking) so he's rather covered in tomato sauce himself as he approaches Sol. She smells... interesting, but Matt isn't nearly so obvious in sniffing her so it's totally not weird. ]

Wish I knew.

[ The fruity-vegetable smell is messing with his senses a fair bit-- or more like, he's not used to smelling this much like marinara. Still here he is, tapping with his cane like it's Tuesday in Hadriel. I guess compared to demons, this is pretty nice. ]

If I had to guess... Killer tomatoes?

cassandra pentaghast ( dragon age )

[passionates]

scenario two.
( Did the demons never cease? She supposed that with the state of their world currently that she should expect to be ass deep in them, as Varric put it, for a while now. They were still chasing Corypheus, and the rifts still plagued Thedas, though this place looked like nothing in Thedas.

It wasn't Thedas, and there shouldn't be demons, but even so here they were.

Cassandra had already killed two since her arrival, or rather on her arrival since she'd arrived with them by her feet, and now she was looking for somewhere to find out what the hell was going on. She needed information, a breather from the demons and maybe the Inquisitor if she was lucky )

[closerift]

[ To put it frankly, the Inquisitor looks like absolute shit when she spies Cassandra. Not that it matters much, she internalizes, with a sinking feeling; the Seeker isn't going to recognize her, just as none of the others have since Cullen. ]

Watch it. [ Cecily advises lightly, nodding at a last, lingering rage demon. An arrow sails by and into the face of the monster, which reels back in pain and dissolves into a fiery mess on the ground. She straightens up, then, hand sparkling with magic and breathing heavily with the week's exertions. ]

You look new. [ She speaks up, trying to keep her tone friendly, but not familiar. ] Need help with anything?

the outsider ( dishonored )

[voideyed]

( two )
[ right, so.. about this demons thing. apparently some kid didn't get the memo, because he seems to be.. chatting with one of the desire demons? even stranger, the demon might seem a little puzzled. and then, strangest, is when one's close enough, said smallish teenage conversationalist looks.. wet?

he turns, and-- ok, yeah, he's probably not human himself. his skin is corpse-pale and blue-tinged, and his eyes are completely black. there isn't more than a moment or two to take it in, though, before the demon is turning its attention on the intruder.

the boy himself floats lightly into the air several feet, then seems to seat himself, crossing a leg neatly over the other and folding his hands in his lap. he looks for all the world as if he's about to have tea and talk about the weather, and doesn't seem inclined toward helping with the demon. ]

Ah, [ he says with a thin, emotionless smile, ] I hope you'll make a show of it.

[ good luck, you poor bastard. ]

[unitas]

[ There is something distinctly unsettling about the teenage boy and the way he interacts with the seductive demon. It's not a moment long before the two notice her, and though she notes the demon's advance, it's the young man's dark eyes that catch at her. Alessa had eyes like that—she has eyes like that, though right now they show soft white and dark blue, the darkness of her pupil spreading like ink only when she has to use her abilities. ]

You're just going to, what, fucking watch? [ She shoots as he floats, crossing one of his legs. What the ever loving fuck? Her eyes dart to the demon, and she raises a single palm, other hand reaching for the dagger on her thigh. She's fought a handful of demons by now (and run from far more), and she knows better than to lower her guard around them. ] I really suggest you choose another target. I'm not interested in being anybody's skin suit.

[ She's not afraid to cut a demon (or creepy floating teen, if she has to). ]

Sabine Wren | Star Wars (Rebels)

[paintbombs]

one:

[This alien plant is a lot more aggressive than Sabine anticipated, but she's still not exactly frightened. She's taking cover behind a wall, methodically shooting them with both guns.

Then one explodes, covering a wall with a brilliant splash of red.

Under her helmet, Sabine grins. What a great color!

She rolls out from behind her wall and starts herding the sentient red vegetables, waiting til they're in the right position before shooting them, covering the wall and alley with carefully spaced splotches of red.

She's already thinking of what colors she'll add once the plants are defeated.]

three:

[Sabine has a jetpack! Or she will once she's done. And she was really excited about it, right up until she opened the box. Now she's staring at the instructions pamphlet looking increasingly disgruntled. She hasn't even started looking at the pieces yet.]

I don't know if I can trust the workmanship of someone with art this bad. Did they even try?

one!

[fulcra]

[ the first tell is the sound of blaster fire. she knows blasters from everything else, for all the years she's spent fighting against and beside them, and the firing pattern sounds like someone dual-wielding, which makes her even more interested.

curiosity turns to almost gleeful relief when she spots the mandalorian's colourful helmet from behind... only to be quickly replaced with frustration with a small hoard of tomatoes starts swooping in, hoping to ambush sabine from behind. drawing her lightsabers, she flicks them on with their own telltale noise, calling out as she darts forward to intercept them. ]

Head's up! Lightsabers covering your rear.

[ ahsoka knows full well that sabine knows how to fight alongside a jedi, but she's noticed before that sometimes the notice about where that force user and their weapon is going to be puts others at ease. ]

elektra natchios | marvel 616

[complexities]

scenario one:

[Her world is just weird enough that she just accepts this is happening. Of course there are killer tomatoes after her. It's only when one explodes that she starts to take it seriously. In a few graceful jumps, she's on top of the highest structure she can find. It gives her the perfect view to watch those things take each other out... and clean tomato off of her.

Be nice or else she may not help you up to relative safety.]

[devilsavocado]

[ Moves like those catch Matt's attention, for all that he may be trying to keep the Daredevil thing under wraps. This isn't his Elektra in fact she doesn't sound or smell much like her at all, but he hadn't seen her since college, since-- I won't subject us to retellings of Netflix Elektra. The point is, Matt is down on the ground, fighting off tomatoes as best as your above-average blind man perhaps could, but he hears her. Oh, he definitely hears her. Elektra. Different but the same. He doesn't have to look up to know she's there. ]

You just gonna watch?

toska | prague race

[friendsnotfood]

two: vacation in thedas

Hey, it's okay, you can come out.

[ And here we have a strange human, quite tall, closing in on the "should have played basketball" spectrum of over six feet when actually standing. He isn't standing right now, though, instead crouching down by a nearby pile of boxes or trash or perhaps just a shadowy, hard to reach place that something small could hide in, cajoling to something currently unseen.

The wide smile across his face and the general wild look about him doesn't quite match up with that attempt to sound completely friendly here, however. In truth, Toska isn't human at all, though his disguise patch covers up all that would make that more obvious. Personality, though, and that predatory expression? No amount of magic can fix that. ]

I just want to eat you. That isn't so bad, right? Maybe you're not even tasty, which means I'll let you go, so-- [ But at anyone else's approach, he'll freeze for half a second before looking up at them instead of whatever poor little creature he has cornered. ] Oh! Hello! Am I in your way?

[ Don't mind him, he is a perfectly normal human being. ]

[makeshiftkingdom]

[For better or worse, Sol isn't a normal human being by any stretch of the imagination. She also has better hearing than one would expect looking at her - scrawny little thing that she is, limping around in a torn dress and no shoes. She's moves slowly and ever so carefully, to avoid as much pain as possible. Moving hurts. Today isn't bad on the pain scale but it could change if she has to fight. If she has to shift.

She pauses, head cocked, and inhales sharply twice. Scenting the air. He's something new. Not human. She snaps her teeth in both greeting and warning.]

What are you hunting? I'll catch it if it's good.

john watson | bbc sherlock

[acclimatize]

► SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY

[ After having quite a few brushes with death, John Watson is no stranger to danger or fear. Despite being described as having "nerves of steel". Being nearly burned alive would shake anyone up. At least, he hoped it was "nearly". Suddenly coming to in... whatever this place was, wasn't all that encouraging. But the cut along his temple still hurt and the smell of smoke on him was too strong to be imagined.

Still.

Didn't explain what the hell he was doing here. Or where the hell "here" was. He walks and searches for anyone possibly familiar or anything that seemed familiar. What he encounters is less than desirable. More like bizarre and ridiculous. A... tomato. Gurgling at him? Growling? It rolls toward him and he thinks he must be dreaming. He kicks the thing away and nearly laughs at the sound it makes.

And then it comes rolling back.

Okay. That... He sighs and decides to squish the thing with his boot. There. That was surprisingly satisfying. Now, to keep searching for -- but then, out of nowhere, there's another one. This time, much bigger. And it sounds angrier? John moves to the side and stares after it. Does the same when yet another larger one rolls at him. Both as big as a football. When another one comes at him, he rolls his eyes. ]

Oh, for God's sake.

[ And kicks it away from him. He feels for his gun and curses as he remembers whoever grabbed him must've taken it. But then that startles him into going still. He isn't dreaming. Couldn't he just have a gun appear then? Fuck. ]

[makeshiftkingdom]

No, no! [Sol is crouched on top of a large mess of rubble, barefoot and decidedly unhappy about it. Her dress is torn and covered in tomato guts. Somehow she still has the same paintbrush she'd been using -- before. There's even a splash of blue paint drying at the end. Sol snaps her teeth in a decidedly dog-like fashion, grimacing.]

You are making it worse.

The Batter | Off

[peppersteak]

2. Vacation in Thedas.

[This isn't one of the zones that he's been sent to purify. Even so, it's clear that this world is impure; there are holes in the very fabric of reality that spew out things that, even if they aren't the spectres that he's used to destroying, are similar enough.]

[Purification is his sacred purpose. He will let nothing get in the way of its fulfillment.]

[He hunts the demons, walking the streets until he finds one. It tries to tempt him with offers of power and wealth, but falters in the face of the Batter's stoical countenance. There's only one thing he wants, and he grips the handle of his bat in one tight fist as he prepares for combat. It asks him what he desires, as though it would be able to provide it.]

Purity.

[Purification in progress.]

3. Swedish Manufacturing

[There are instructions for the construction of an Add-On, which would be useful since none of his are with him in this new world. The Batter would think that it was something from Zacharie, except that he'd never give away anything for free. And he'd never provided anything that needed construction.]

[Usually, Add-Ons don't need to be built, anyway. They come pre-assembled. The Batter opens the instructions that come with it, sitting with the pieces lined up in front of him and the paper in his lap. It's some kind of puzzle, he thinks. The pictures are probably supposed to be decoded into appropriate instructions, but as they are, they don't seem to give the entirety of the directions. Maybe they're out of order? Or maybe parts of them are missing?]

[The Batter frowns, and starts trying to put things together according to the directions as he understands them. All the pieces don't fit, though, and instead of being a hoop, the Add-On looks like a crooked zig-zag. That can't be right, and he pulls it apart again to start over.]

Hm.

what a (two)l

[skelebro]

[Somethin' about this cuts a real familiar figure. There's some pretty key differences, granted - like the whole bit where there ain't dust, the bit where the monsters ain't running scared - but there's somethin' in the way the guy walks dully ahead, locked on a precise goal, that smacks as more than a bit familiar.

Why, you can practically hear the harsh, shuddering joct! of the world shifting into something a little more monochrome, a little more combat-oriented.

Sans watches the trading of blows with his standard grin, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets. Waits for it to be over, of course, 'cause that's just good manners.]

You do this sorta thing often?

Gale × OC × I am gomen

[moriturism]

SAUCE PLS

MOTHER FUCKING TOMATOS!

[ Says a young woman as she bashes one with a slightly bent metal leg of a chair she's been swinging around until it broke. For once, the red on Gale's hands, face and clothes isn't blood. She would be having the time of her life if it wasn't for the fact she hates every aspect of the place she's at, wherever the fuck might be.

Gale kicks the body (carcass?) of the felled tomato and starts walking around, a hot mess of heavy panting and grunts and tomato sauce. ]

I need to get out of here.

SWEDISH GUN MAFIA

[ Gale's box has the picture of a rather sizable, decidedly lethal looking gun. Rifle? Who cares. The only thing that matters is that there's roughly a thousand pieces and an instructions manual as thick as her head. Oh and the manual makes absolutely no sense.

Being the gun nut she is though, Gale is slowly but surely putting the damn thing together anyway. It's going to take a while, but you can already start telling it's going to be deadly.

Eventually. Like in a couple of days.

Anyone that tries to interrupt her or distract her will be subjected to annoyed grunts and maybe even the promise of using the gun on them. Once it's done. Soon. ]

Just- leave me the fuck alone.

tony stark ℼ marvel comics (earth 616)

[amelioraate]

grouping_choice = { .01 info:KILLER KETCHUP, engage:TRUE }

[Finding himself facing off against giant, sentient fruits really should be more horrifying to Tony than it is. Especially when said fruits seem to have mouths and teeth and--]

I don't even have fries for this, what a waste!

[ A pause while Tony spares a glance at his suit which is more red than red and gold thanks to a well aimed repulsor blast and physics being a cruel mistress with her need to coat him in the tomato spray. Really, he should have fries right now, damnit, fresh ketchup would be amazing with fries...

There is a moment where Tony wonders if maybe there are sentient potatoes around that he could julienne into fresh fries, and wouldn't that just be a nice change.

It was a stupid mistake really, everyone knows not to take your eyes off the prize, or, err--- tomato? There's a screech of metal and a muffled curse as another fruit comes rolling (way too fast, Tony thinks) out from his left and sends both him and his armour careening into the ground.

Ow.]

Taken out by sentient fruit is not on my to do list today. [ He groans a little, shakes off the stars in his eyes and readies for more.]




grouping_choice = { .03 info:FRUSTRATING FURNITURE, engage:TRUE }

[ This... doesn't make sense. Like, not even a little bit. He is a goddamned genius, and an engineer. He should be able to do this shit drunk and asleep and yet-- There is a distinct discrepancy between the shitty pictures that are on the page before him and the... well whatever the hell it was that he was trying to put together.]

This isn't what it's supposed to look like, is it, JARVIS.

[ It's not really a question as Tony sits amid the pieces of what was supposed to be a worktable and set of drawers, casting a half hearted glance at his phone on the floor like it might produce for him instructions that would make sense. (It won't, he already tried with Extremis, and-- well this still looked like a mess) ]

I am afraid not sir. Perhaps you would be better off constructing something of your own design?

[ There is a low growl before Tony gives up and hurls the shitty little allen key that came with this set and curses. ]

.01

[notthekingpin]

Taking you out seems to be on theirs.

[matt would know tony's voice anywhere. tony stark, weapons manufacturer, head of starkbucks coffee. but this tony stark's voice is missing the decidedly morally-gray cadence that marks that of the starkbucks ceo.

which i mean, just makes matt extremely curious. this guys is #notmytonystark which is fascinating, especially after meeting #notmyelektra and #thatangstyangrydudethatisdefinitelynotme (that's too many characters for a hashtag, isn't it?) and anyways listening / watching a dude on radar sense in a tin can get beaten up by a bunch of sentient tomatoes is truly a gift any day of the week.

so here's your peanut gallery. one matt murdock. earth-65 flavor.]

They're obviously feeling saucy after your comments.

toriel / undertale

[bscotch]

[ TWO ]

[ Sure is a goat women in the street, facing down a desire demon with an almighty disapproving glare. It's offered her something she knows can't come true, and at a cost that is so obviously not worth considering that it's anyone's guess why the demon is still bothering with her.

...Maybe the demon has picked up on that closely-guarded part of her that truly wishes that dream could come true. To have those children returned...

No. She won't indulge that fantasy, and the demon gets nothing but contempt from her. ]

I don't want to have to ask you again. Leave me be, demon.

[ THREE ]

[ IT'S

a snail finder. Like a metal detector, but for snails. With several moving parts and superfluous accessories that seem entirely useless but is she going to deviate from the (admittedly a little unhelpful) instructions? No! It would be nice to find some snails, if there are any in this city. The only way to be sure is to finish this machine.

...Even if the egg-beater-looking pieces she's attaching now are giving her pause. ]

These can't be the right instructions...

[ Help a goatmom out. ]

HI OMG also number three!!!

[skelebro]

[A snail finder. Yipes, this place is pullin' out all the stops when it comes to quality equipment. Too bad the instructions might as well be written in upside-down chickenscratch¹ for all the help they've been. Sans ended up with an automated blender-type thing that mostly succeeded in making an awful wailing, nails-on-chalkboard noise and not much else. Which, hey, great on the pranking front, but not so much on the food-making front.

Seems a fellow monster is havin' a similar issue. Sans halts with his skull to one side, like turnin' himself at an angle askew will make the design flaws more apparent. But, mm, nope, it still looks the same is it does right-side-up.]

Maybe the other way around?

[¹ Sans, personally, has nothing against chickens, and it seems crass to assume they've all got poor penmanship. Really, he's heard chickens are quite nice, even if they've got a thing for crossin' an awful lotta roads all the time. That can't be healthy.]

aymeric de borel; ffxiv

[remarkablymodest]

two;

[ Luck appears to be on his side today. Well, not counting the unluckiness that was being dragged through The Door in the first place. Though the Elezen had been on his guard should one of this worlds voidsent rear their ugly head, he is instead pleasantly surprised to be greeted by a nug.

The man crouches down, extending a hand to the odd creature. It hops up to meet his fingers and Aymeric can't help the tug of a smile on his lips. The nug is a welcome distraction from the worries that buzz in his head over the implications of being away from Ishgard. His guard isn't completely down, however, for the second he hears someone (or something?) he straightens up and puts his hand on the hilt of his sword. ]

Who goes there? [ Be you friend or foe, etc. He's ready to protect this poor, innocent nug from harm's way. ]

three;

[ It was supposed to be a desk. A model of his very one back in Ishgard. Though the man had found it suspicious, he was also eager for a comfort from home.

What it ends up being, however, is something extremely undesk-like. Aymeric never claimed to have any semblance of skill in carpentry but had thought himself competent enough to assemble the pieces provided with visual aid. Still, he's not one known to give up easily and his reputation proceeds him as he keeps working on getting this desk up and functioning.

Nevermind that it's... lopsided... Or that he appears to be holding the directions upside-down. Someone help this poor, confused Elezen man too focused on his task to think of asking for help. ]

three

[sideboobs]

[Sui-Feng has spent the better half of her afternoon on her patrol route. She's searching for any subtle information hidden in patterns, and she quietly commits little peculiarities to memory: the variable rock patterns, the familiar-yet-strange tunnels, the cracks and dents manually formed in past fruitless attempts to dig out out of the caves. Inevitably her findings are inconclusive, but she isn't rattled with impatience yet.

What remains the same on this loop is the painful secondhand frustration she feels from watching a man struggle to build a desk. After strong consideration on her fourth go-around, she diverts from her route and approaches Aymeric.]

You're holding your directions upside-down. [Her voice is strong and self-assured despite the silence of her movement. She takes the sheet and flips it for him.] But it seems like you aren't bright enough to be handling a set of sharp tools in the first place.

Rico | Penguins of Madagascar

[kab00m]

One.

[Rico has no idea where he's ended up, but he DOES know one thing.

There are giant tomatoes running around for some reason. He knows this because shortly after he dropped in (with a generally unpleasant bump and a couple bounces) one of them started chasing him around.

But he's a penguin! Penguins are more noble than that. They shouldn't be chased around by giant tomatoes. So, instead, he starts chasing it. Tomatoes are edible! Maybe he can eat it, instead of it trying to eat him. ...sure, it doesn't seem all that scared of him yet, but give it time! If it doesn't eat him first, anyway.]



Three.

[Rico doesn't really need much in life. Food, family, someplace to sleep and something soft to sleep on and he's pretty much set. So when he finds the box, he decides to save it for later instead.

...which translates to swallowing the thing whole, but who's keeping track, really. How else is he supposed to save it for later? It looked like a neat box! No telling who else might have walked off with it instead.

So instead he wanders off, box safely stored away, to look for something more immediately exciting. Like helping other people build their things! You might find a penguin waddling up to you, or sneaking up close to look in your box, or looking expectantly while you're busy being frustrated. He's here to help!]

[drbyronorpheus]

He's tempted to pick it up and ask loudly "HAS ANYONE LOST A PENGUIN!?" But sometimes animals turn out to be sentient and that could be awkward.

Instead he tries to get closer to its eye level. "Hello?"

Miss Quill | Class

[war_itself]

[1]
Wiping her bloodied hands on her jacket, Quill steps out of the arena and appraises her surroundings. Underground, unfamiliar architecture, notably derelict architecture, like the aftermath of a war. Not exactly a flourishing civilization around here then, so it'll probably take a while to find someone useful. Whatever, if one of the cracks in space-time at the school spat her out into some kind of alien sparring arena, there's bound to be another one close by to take her back. She has a certain lying prince to interrogate about a certain Cabinet not being empty and nothing is going to get in her way for long.

Further down the street she begins to take note of suspicious rustling and flashes of red in the rubble. She's expecting an attack any minute now, but when the vegetables finally roll into view, she can't help but stop and stare. "Seriously? Did someone knock over a bin or something?" she asks in disbelief. One comes up at her ankle from behind and without thinking she crushes it beneath the high heel of her shoe. Given the fact that this doesn't result in her writhing on the ground in pain, the arn apparently considers mobile vegetables to be fair game. "Lucky me," she mutters to herself with a roll of her eyes and sets to kicking and squashing the things in earnest. After just a short time, she really is getting quite swarmed, but a warrior of the Quill race isn't about to run from a bunch of salad with teeth. When a particularly large juicy explosion splatters all over her blouse, she shouts in frustration, "I'm going to tear out your seeds and make you watch!"


[2]
"Shoo," she sternly commands the hairless little creature at her feet. She'd stopped to get her bearings amidst the debris and the collapsed buildings, and when she'd turned to continue down the street, there it was. Staring at her out of blind eyes, nose quivering. What does it want from her? "You're really quite ugly, you know," she says experimentally, in case it can be put off with insults. It hops around on its hands - like those weren't weird enough on humans - and sniffs at her shoes. Maybe it likes the smell of whatever she stepped in on the way to school this morning, because it makes the dubious decision to follow her. Well, as long as it doesn't get in the way. "Alright, but I'll probably eat you if I end up stuck here for a while," she informs it frankly.

[onlythemonstrous]

[2]

"You probably shouldn't eat things you find in the street," the Doctor chides by way of greeting. Some things you really shouldn't have to tell people. Who knows what it even is? The Doctor doesn't, and he is reasonably knowledgeable. It's probably not particularly sentient, or venomous, but plenty of things don't look like they will be, until they're forced to show their hand, say, by being nearly eaten. She'd been right about one thing, it's a terrifically ugly creature. "It has hands," he says, as though she might somehow not have noticed.

Suì-Fēng, Bleach - Scenario Two

[sideboobs]

[Sui-Feng takes her time battling the demons falling from the rifts. They are remarkably similar to Hollows in that they appear to radically embody negative emotions; but besides lacking the telltale masks, they evidently don't have souls to carry on to Soul Society after being struck down by her zanpakutou. Defeating a rage demon gave her nothing but a scalding blade and a lump of hot goo at her feet.

Most remarkably, it occurs to her they have a sway on her own emotions. For now, facing a grim and sickly green demon fills her with an unusual sense of dread and trepidation she wouldn't normally experience in the midst of battle, especially when she is so confident in her own superiority. The manipulation should give her all the more reason to destroy it quickly, but she chooses instead to play mouse and let it chase her.

What are you?

Letting the chase drag on is inevitably bound either to attract the attention of a go-getter, or get a bystander caught in crossfire. Sui-Feng is cognizant of her surroundings, but people still somehow have a tendency of getting in the way.]

morgan walker | oc!

[danseur]

Scenario One:

What the actual shit is going on here?

[ morgan doesn't really super care who he's talking to right now, or what the circumstances of this encounter really are. maybe he's jumped into an alleyway your character is hiding in, or possibly he's just literally flung himself into hide in the first unlocked apartment he can find. these silly little details are all trumped by the fact that tomato guts are dripping down from his forehead into his eye, and he makes a quietly disgusted sound as he drags his sleeve across his face.

he trumpets his lips slightly, just trying to spit some imagined seeds out. ]

Is this normal? Like - is this the kind of shit I'm expected to put up with here?

[ introductions can come later. the answers to these questions right now are clearly more pressing for him, circumstances be damned. ]