dankmemes | test drive meme #14

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st. Please remember that starting in December, there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to destroy you for your vegetarian ways. This time, the Door has brought in a large group of Killer Tomatoes, from the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie.

While it is not immediately clear how these odd creatures can kill you, rest assured that you should be quaking in your boots. They can bite with their weird little tomato mouths, they can roll after you surprisingly fast, and they can even explode! Truly terrifying. But if you manage to defeat some of these agents of terror and chaos, you could make some mean salsa.]

D R A G O N A G E

SCENARIO TWO: VACATION IN THEDAS
[While you're exploring the city, perhaps you'll run into another creature that's slipped through a rift and is exploring along with you - or perhaps hunting would be a better term. Yes, Hadriel is teeming with demons straight from Thedas.

Perhaps you'll run into a desire demon, who will offer you your deepest wish - in exchange for your body and soul, of course. Perhaps you'll find a pride demon, who will play upon your strengths and weaknesses until you give in to them. Or maybe it'll be a despair demon, there to crush all your hopes and dreams.

Or maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll just find a nug.

This is a mini version of our Fadeout event this month!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: SWEDISH MANUFACTURING
[You're in luck! You know that thing you've always wanted? Doesn't matter what it is - a cool weapon, a nice dress, a well-made bedstand, a rare magical invention. Whatever it is, you just managed to find it! Whoa!

Or, well, you managed to find a box with a picture of the item on it. When you open the box, you find all the necessary components for making that item, along with illustrated instructions for putting it together. There's no written instructions, just pictures, but you're smart, you can figure it out! And it'll look just like the photo on the box. You're sure of it.

Better get building! Okay, the instructions don't entirely make sense - did you screw that part in upside down? Wait, are these pages out of order? Maybe you can ask that person nearby for help, or maybe you'll just sink into the depths of confusion and despair. But keep trying! Just think of what you'll get if you succeed!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uh-huh.

[That explains absolutely nothing, ball-man, but thanks. Sans opens a hand in a wavy, noncommittal supination, deliberately projecting nothing but a carefully casual disposition.]

Could ya maybe vague that up for me some?

[The Batter is not a patient man, and he doesn't like wasting time with useless chatter. Like this, basically, this whole conversation is just one big waste of his time, since this person seems to have no information for him, only questions.]

[And, anyway, he's holding a bloody bat and talking about purifying shit, what the fuck do you think he's going to do, bonehead?]

Are you a spectre?

Y'mean a ghost?

[Cuts to the chase, don't he? Not so surprisin', maybe, and Sans might be good for idle chatter, but he also knows how to pick his battles. That is to say, he doesn't pick any battles unless he absolutely has to.

Now ain't the time to go pickin' up any battles, see.]

Do I look like a ghost to you, pal? The name's Sans. [He'd reach out to shake the guy's hand, but given the way that bat is coated with a sticky residue, he's, uh...not gonna go there.] Sans the skeleton.

Then my task is none of your concern.

[Probably. It's probably none of his concern. Just trust the bat-wielding man who claims that his divine mandate is to beat the shit out of 'ghosts' that apparently don't always look like ghosts. Just... yeah, just trust him.]

[All the Batter would do is straight up murder the Gods and probably a few innocent people as well, and then turn the murdercave into a barren wasteland filled with abomination babies. Nothing to worry about. It's all good.]

I must purify the rest of this city. There are more impure spirits.

[He'd kinda disagree with that, Sans would. He shoves his hands back in his pockets, appraising the guy evenly. He's still smiling. He never really stops smiling.

Kinda like a certain cat the Batter might know.]

If y'mean the things crawlin' around in the tunnels, sure. Go to town with 'em.

[A certain cat, or a certain person-with-a-cat-mask. The Batter is unperturbed by Sans' perpetual grin, but he's also unperturbed by literally everything. Got the emotional range of a rock. Probably not going to be much of a snack for the emotion-eating gods around here.]

[Though he might try getting them to eat their own teeth.]

They aren't restricted to the caves.

[The Batter rests his bat on his shoulder, apparently unconcerned about the mess that he's getting on his uniform. He looks good in red, anyway, doesn't he?]

I'll purify those once I'm done here.

You want my advice, you really ought'a start in the caves.

[Yes, he's patently aware that the guy didn't solicit Sans's advice. He doesn't care.

Either way, he's not really fond of the direction this conversation is going, so he switches tacks. Slightly. He can bring things around to the beginning like a pro, after all. Call it a special talent.

Or adaptability. One of the two.]

You gotta name, pal?

I'm called the Batter.

[It's descriptive, at least. You know exactly where you stand with a guy named the Batter, who know who he is and what he does. He's a guy, and he hits things with a baseball bat.]

[And if Sans thinks that introductions are going to stall him for very long, he hasn't been around the Batter long enough. Skeleton man knows his name, he's done here. The Batter continues down the road; the hunt for impure spirits to cleanse continues.]

I have work to do.

[The Batter and The Skeleton, yeah? Talk about a name theme, heh.

And Sans...well, who're we kiddin'? He ain't the kinda guy to shoot the shit when someone clearly ain't interested in talking, huh? Yeah, nah, he knows that look.

That's someone who doesn't know when to QUIT.

Maybe keep an eyesocket out for him in the future, he's thinkin'.]

Be seeing ya.

[Should the Batter look back, he'll find that Sans is already gone.]

test drive meme #14

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