dankmemes | test drive meme #14

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!test drive

test drive meme #14

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st. Please remember that starting in December, there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to destroy you for your vegetarian ways. This time, the Door has brought in a large group of Killer Tomatoes, from the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie.

While it is not immediately clear how these odd creatures can kill you, rest assured that you should be quaking in your boots. They can bite with their weird little tomato mouths, they can roll after you surprisingly fast, and they can even explode! Truly terrifying. But if you manage to defeat some of these agents of terror and chaos, you could make some mean salsa.]

D R A G O N A G E

SCENARIO TWO: VACATION IN THEDAS
[While you're exploring the city, perhaps you'll run into another creature that's slipped through a rift and is exploring along with you - or perhaps hunting would be a better term. Yes, Hadriel is teeming with demons straight from Thedas.

Perhaps you'll run into a desire demon, who will offer you your deepest wish - in exchange for your body and soul, of course. Perhaps you'll find a pride demon, who will play upon your strengths and weaknesses until you give in to them. Or maybe it'll be a despair demon, there to crush all your hopes and dreams.

Or maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll just find a nug.

This is a mini version of our Fadeout event this month!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: SWEDISH MANUFACTURING
[You're in luck! You know that thing you've always wanted? Doesn't matter what it is - a cool weapon, a nice dress, a well-made bedstand, a rare magical invention. Whatever it is, you just managed to find it! Whoa!

Or, well, you managed to find a box with a picture of the item on it. When you open the box, you find all the necessary components for making that item, along with illustrated instructions for putting it together. There's no written instructions, just pictures, but you're smart, you can figure it out! And it'll look just like the photo on the box. You're sure of it.

Better get building! Okay, the instructions don't entirely make sense - did you screw that part in upside down? Wait, are these pages out of order? Maybe you can ask that person nearby for help, or maybe you'll just sink into the depths of confusion and despair. But keep trying! Just think of what you'll get if you succeed!]

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[ TWO ]

[ Sure is a goat women in the street, facing down a desire demon with an almighty disapproving glare. It's offered her something she knows can't come true, and at a cost that is so obviously not worth considering that it's anyone's guess why the demon is still bothering with her.

...Maybe the demon has picked up on that closely-guarded part of her that truly wishes that dream could come true. To have those children returned...

No. She won't indulge that fantasy, and the demon gets nothing but contempt from her. ]

I don't want to have to ask you again. Leave me be, demon.

[ THREE ]

[ IT'S

a snail finder. Like a metal detector, but for snails. With several moving parts and superfluous accessories that seem entirely useless but is she going to deviate from the (admittedly a little unhelpful) instructions? No! It would be nice to find some snails, if there are any in this city. The only way to be sure is to finish this machine.

...Even if the egg-beater-looking pieces she's attaching now are giving her pause. ]

These can't be the right instructions...

[ Help a goatmom out. ]

[A snail finder. Yipes, this place is pullin' out all the stops when it comes to quality equipment. Too bad the instructions might as well be written in upside-down chickenscratch¹ for all the help they've been. Sans ended up with an automated blender-type thing that mostly succeeded in making an awful wailing, nails-on-chalkboard noise and not much else. Which, hey, great on the pranking front, but not so much on the food-making front.

Seems a fellow monster is havin' a similar issue. Sans halts with his skull to one side, like turnin' himself at an angle askew will make the design flaws more apparent. But, mm, nope, it still looks the same is it does right-side-up.]

Maybe the other way around?

[¹ Sans, personally, has nothing against chickens, and it seems crass to assume they've all got poor penmanship. Really, he's heard chickens are quite nice, even if they've got a thing for crossin' an awful lotta roads all the time. That can't be healthy.]

Oh, hello, Sans.

[ Look, she wouldn't feel right if she didn't greet him first. But on to the problem at hand. She wonders if he's "handy", so to speak, though her first inkling is that hey may not be. Still, two minds are better than one.

THEY GOT THIS. ]

Hm... [ A quiet, thoughtful sound as she turns the instructions around. The diagram on the page now resembles something like an upside-down Christmas tree. ] Like this? It looks like some sort of...musical instrument.

[ Which, look, maybe that's how the snail finder works. By being used liked a musical instrument. We just don't know. ]

[Sans is, uh, not what he'd call a handy-man, no. He knew a handy-man of the very literal sort a while back, but, uh - that was a long time ago. Actually, it never happened.

Actually, never mind.]

I already ended up with one of those, matter of fact.

[Punctuated with a phalanx against an ossicle, twisting wryly as though cleaning his nonexistent ears.]

It, uh, wouldn't really shut up. Or carry a tune. Mostly it just made a lotta noise.

That's what I get for tryin' to build a blender.

[ Based off of how her own construction project is going, she can't really tell if he's being serious or not. It doesn't really matter either way, though, because she can't help a warm chuckle, paw pressed against her cheek like it's a somewhat foreign feeling. ]

A blender would make for interesting accompaniment. You might even say it's puree nonsense.

[ And she is so trying to keep a straight face right now. Trying. So. Hard. ]

[Don't do this, Toriel. You're going to get caught in a positive feedback loop of pithy, perpetual punnery. This is a precarious position, truly the paradigm of pellucid prosody.]

We could get it on a mix tape. Maybe play it at parties.

[It begins.]

[Oh, hey! He kind of knows that person! For, like, a few minutes? Anyway, it's another person from the Underground, which means Papyrus should take extra care to ensure that she is kept safe! The sash he ritualistically wears over his battle body came with a responsibility! And she is... Well, she is facing down a demon, which means he really needs to be doing his job.

He rushes over to place himself directly between monster and demon, pointing a gloved finger at the desire demon sternly.]

Hi! Mx. Demon! You should leave the lady who mmmmight be Asgore's clone alone, please! She clearly does not want to talk to you any longer! Thanks!!

[ At Papyrus's sudden appearance, Toriel breaks off from her almighty disapproving staredown of the demon to blink at the skeleton, momentarily nonplussed. This was Sans's younger brother. Papyrus, wasn't it? Here, of all places?

But they would have to sort that out later. Right now, they have a more immediate matter to deal with..The demon hasn't seemed to take Papyrus's words to heart, though it has, at least, moved its attention off Toriel herself. ]

I'm not certain these creatures can be reasoned with.

Yes, so people keep saying! I suppose they are quite stubborn. All of the creatures that come through the Door with us are like that. But, see, these ones can talk!! So...

[The desire demon clears their throat, which they don't really need to do, being a demon, but the point is they alert Papyrus to their continued existence.]

Right! Shoo! The nice lady is tired of you! [He waves his hands around in the demon's face, who scoffs and backs off a little just from the sheer amount of movement being thrown in their face.]

[It's not hard to notice a big fuzzy white monster in the dingy conditions of this brand-new Underground of theirs. Asriel had originally dove behind a rock when he spotted her, determined to find a way to skirt around her or just turn around completely.

It's better if Mom and Dad never have to see him. It's better if they don't have to endure that heartbreak twice over. Just because he hasn't turned back into a flower yet doesn't mean he can just assume he's cured, after all.

But Mom... she's not alone. Asriel peeks out from his hiding place, watching one of those awful demon-things try to cajole her into... into something? Into something bad, he's sure. And she's doing a good job of saying no - a much better job of saying no than Asriel ever would - but...

But is it really okay to leave her to just deal with it all alone?

He... he thinks it might be a mistake to intervene. To show himself. Better to never again remember what he's not supposed to ever have again. But...

What a miserable creature, tormenting a poor, innocent mom.

He stands up, steps out from behind his hiding place, and yells.]

Go away! Leave my mom alone! She's not interested!!

[ One moment she's on level footing with the demon. Even if it hasn't left her alone yet, she knows she won't take the bait and fall for its treachery. She's long since stopped hoping for impossible things. And yet...

Suddenly, Asriel is there, and it's like the very foundation under her feet is crumbling. Her reaction is immediate: a sharp gasp, paws covering her mouth as her attention on the demon is completely pulled away.

Though, maybe it shouldn't be. Should she have expected this? Some sort of wicked trick to make her believe? Of course they would start with Asriel. Her first, her own, her child, and he's right there -

She won't let it overwhelm her. No. But whether it's real or not, there are some things she just has to do. Deliberately ignoring the way she has started to shake and keeping her gaze on the demon, she moves over towards Asriel, placing herself between her son and the creature surely responsible for this. ]

You will not harm him, demon. [ Or any of the others, if they suddenly appeared, too. ]

[She takes it very well, all things considered. Part of him expected her heart to break the second she laid eyes on him, like she'd be so stricken she'd fizzle into dust there and then or just... just Fall Down. Another part expected her to recognize the malicious empty thing she'd seen back in the Ruins, swat him away with righteous fire, stare down her nose at the sort of horrible creature who would torment an innocent youth.

But she doesn't do any of those things. She holds herself together.

He... he knows she likes to hold the hands of the children she guides. She was always very doting, and her protectiveness only seemed to increase exponentially with each child she took in and subsequently lost. He holds his paw out to her, even if he can't quite bring himself to look his mother in the eye.]

Just - just forget about it. Let's just leave. I don't think it will follow us if it can tell it isn't going to get any deals.

[If by 'help a goatmom out', you mean sit close by and play with the pieces that have yet to be attached, then Frisk has you covered, ma. It's certainly entertaining, by all rights, though they have about as much of a clue as she does as to why any sort of snail finder requires egg-beater-looking pieces and a...wind screen? Thing?

The step by step diagrams seem to think it gets attached at the end. Safety first, and all that.]

Nn. Those are the excavators, see?

[They're right there, in plain black and white. With the B47 and the C15 labels, which goes to step...eighteen?

Wait-]

[ That is essentially what it means, yes. Toriel peers at the instructions again, fist planted under her chin as she considers Frisk's wisdom(?). ]

Excavators...hm. [ True, they could be helpful for unearthing snails from the ground, but why did it look like they went on the handles of the thing? Shaking her head, she flips through the pages of the instructions and sifts through the pieces that Frisk had been playing with. ]

Perhaps we should start somewhere else. Do you see something that looks like...accordion bellows?

[ no really wtf is this thing ]

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test drive meme #14

toriel / undertale

HI OMG also number three!!!

helloooooo

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

no subject

no subject

two

ayyyyy

o7

two HELLO MOM HI

HELLO SON this went from zero to painful extremely fast

funny how dreemurrs do that

Three!!!

no subject