dankmemes | test drive meme #16

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!test drive

test drive meme #16

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open January 24th, and apps are open February 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE CREEPY CRAWLIES
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting to impale you on its giant claws and crunch your bones between its mandibles. That's right, this time the Door is bringing you bugs from Starship Troopers, in all their giant and disgusting glory!

Bugs are, well, giant insects that come in all shapes and sizes, depending on the rank, and are way too tall or too heavy than they have any right to be. They can move quickly, most of them have the ability to fly, and their exo-skeletons means that it's difficult to really hurt them unless you've got some muscles on you. Or a really big boot, I guess.]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: WHO'S THAT IN THE MIRROR?
[Something's lurking in the dark. Something that really wants to ruin your day by any means necessary- that includes preying on your darkest fears, or just, you know, simply killing you. But that's not a problem, right? You're big and tough! Except, so is this creature out to get you. And it knows all of your weaknesses and insecurities too because, well... it is you.

Doubles of characters will be flooding the city and attempting to ruin the originals lives by whatever means necessary. This generally involves killing the original and then impersonating them, but it can also mean killing people you love or just bringing up your awkward teenage years to traumatize you in front of all your new cool friends.

What can you do to stop it? Well, you could kill them first, that certainly won't require a few trips to therapy later! There's always locking them away, or maybe trying to befriend them because hey, who's better at ruining your life than you?

This is a mini version of our Dead Ringers event this month!]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y

SCENARIO THREE: CAN YOU JUST LIKE, CHILL FOR A SEC?
[Embrace tranquility! Or rather, get pulled, kicking and screaming into an event during which you magically have to find some chill, or else Tranquility will force chill upon you.

For this prompt, characters will find themselves in a state of sudden peace and calm, without much anger or meanness to go around. That guy you hate? Maybe you should give him a peace offering. The chick who stole your girlfriend? Maybe you should congratulate her! Everything is peaceful and everything is... sorta gray.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice to be able to relax, but we have an emotional spectrum for a reason. Pretty soon, the tranquility of this might turn into something a little creepy, even Stepfordish... but it's hard to really care when everything is so damn pleasant, right?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

'Safe for children,' huh? You some kind of bomb guy?

[ Gladio snorts. Yes, his sword is taller than he is, yes he's over six feet tall. He'd be a little insulted if he had anything to compensate for. Which he doesn't. ]

Wouldn't you like to know.

Oh, I dabble.

[Because apparently this is the appropriate time for modesty.]

Fat lot of good it did with that wee little bitey, you running away like that. Anyhoo...

[Junkrat turns to the side, hobbling over to this little cove of an alleyway where he's set up makeshift workshop for artillery on the go.]

You make much better bait than I do. Tell ya what, if you can go attract a bunch'a them with that fancy flyswatter of yours, we could take out a big chunk of their population. Much more efficient than what I've been doing so far. Whaddya say?

Right.

[ Gladio shrugs. A dude whose hair is on fire does not "dabble" in explosives.]

Look, a guy's gotta watch his ass when he hears fire. I ain't about to get burned.

[ But he rolls his shoulders, his sword vanishing into thin air as he stretches. He's got nothing better to do besides mowing down gross bugs. ]

Alright, I'm game. But if you hit me with one of those bombs of yours I'm gonna show you how hard my 'flyswatter' can hit, got it?

[ He tosses the threat and steps away to go pull a couple of nasties. He's a tough dude, he should be able to kite a decent amount in the time it'll take Junkrat to prepare. ]

Heads up!

[You know, Junkrat wasn't actually expecting him to take the offer seriously. The fact that he does makes a mad grin spread across Junkrat's face, as if Gladio needed any more ammunition to think that this might be a gamble.]

Oh, trust me, mate. [He tosses his detonator in the air casually, snatching it back up from below and tilting the business end in Gladio's direction.] If I wanted to, you wouldn't get the chance.

[For what it's worth, Junkrat thoroughly believes he didn't send this guy off to his death. He trusts this guy, for some reason, so he prepares adequately - and for the best-case scenario. Since these are dumb giant insects, Junkrat doesn't bother setting up the trap in any kind of subtle way. Part of it is for Gladio's sake, so that this guy knows exactly where to draw them.]

Here comes the payload...!

[Junkrat plugs one ear with a finger, holding the detonator up in the air, watching carefully for just the right moment to pull the trigger.

True to his word, Gladio doesn't get blown up--but he might get a bit of a push from the blast, if he's not prepared for it. As for his charges, well...

it's hard to tell exactly how many he had on his tail.

Junkrat pops up on his tiptoe, hopping delightedly and clapping his hands together while he giggles. He's blown up a lot of things in his life, but giant man-eating insects? Now that's some satisfying carnage.]

[ Gladio has heard weirder plans, honestly? He's good at following orders, what can I say. The sound alone is enough to disorient Gladio for a few seconds, but he manages to dash far enough from the obvious trap to avoid any permanent inner ear damage (oh joy.) The bugs explode in a blast of fire and guts, which Gladio is quick to shield himself from.

And well, at least someone is enjoying themselves. Gladio shakes some of the bug guts off his shield and chuckles, turning towards Junkrat. ]

You having fun, huh?

Oh, you bet!! I live for this stuff.

[His excitement is palpable. Junkrat thrusts an orange metal hand in Gladio's direction for a handshake.]

You did a bang-up job out there, stranger. The name's Junkrat! What's yours?

[ You are a strange man, Junkrat. But hell, Gladio's met stranger. (And he'd be a lot less friendly if he had a certain prince around to protect.) ]

Gladiolus Amicitia. Gladio's fine. [ He'll take that hand and give it a nice, strong shake. ] You did pretty okay yourself, Junkrat. And nice job not blowing me up, by the way.

[And a firm handshake to boot! What a swell dude.]

That's a mouthful. So it's not your name...

[Apparently he thinks the sword compensation is something he'll eventually figure out.]

Hey, no problem! I'm a professional, after all. You got any idea how many more there are out there?

Edited 2017-01-31 05:36 (UTC)

[ Gladiolus shoots him a look. Buddy, you won't find anything small on Gladio... But he says nothing of the sort. ]

My guess? Too damn many.

[ He looks over his shoulder. Sure enough, there's still quite the swarm out there. ]

Probably better to retreat for now. Unless you wanna spend the rest of the day and the rest of your explosives on these things.

[I'd say you'd get used to it, but people usually don't.]

Don't get me wrong, that sounds like a dream. Problem is, I burnt through most of my supply with that last one. I can find more, but those damn things outpace me just by walking.

[So as much as he still wants to blow those things up, he'd rather keep what few limbs he still has. Shelter doesn't sound like a bad idea at this point, at least until he can come up with a better plan.]

[ Gladio probably doesn't have the patience to, tbqh ]

Sounds like we better make a retreat before those things get any ideas.

[ Don't mind if they do! Quite frankly, Gladio would set up camp if this were back home but the camps here probably don't have wards like they do in Eos... might as well just keep walking for now. But fret not, Junkrat, he'll look over his shoulder every now and again to make sure you haven't fallen behind. ]

Roight.

[So mind him while he packs up what he can in a pachwork napsack. It's true, he doesn't have much left; some might even wonder if it's worth bringing along, but to a scavenger, it's always waste not, want not.

At first, Junkrat doesn't realize that Gladio is keeping such a close eye on him. Most of his focus is dedicated to staying alert of their surroundings -- constantly assessing the area around him to take inventory of architecture can be used as protection when shit hits the fan. Only is it by chance that when Junkrat looks up, he catches sight of Gladio checking on him over his shoulder. Junkrat's brows knit and raise in shock. He figured the other was just a slow walker by nature, but he's actually...waiting on him?

While Junkrat is distracted by this realization, an oversized flier lands behind him, sending a rumble through the floor, making a horrible cricket-rattle. Against his better judgement, Junkrat turns to look over his shoulder at it.]

Oh, hell.

[ Gladio's a nice guy, what can I say. It comes with the bodyguard territory. Of course looking back also means Gladio sees the bug monster land just short of Junkrat, and by the time it does Gladio is already rushing towards it. ]

Look out! [ I mean, Junkrat might not actually need help but Gladio's sure not going to stand by and watch him get attacked. He draws his sword out of the air and moves to run past him, ready to stab the oversized blade through the bug's gross face. Bug willing, of course. ]

[No, he most definitely needs the help. The only reason he's been able to survive this long is that he's been using this place's weird architecture to his advantage to keep a healthy distance between their mouths and his crunchy bits.

Which is what he's going to do right now.

Gladio's all more than welcome to make a fillet of this thing - but if he ever tries to take inventory of Junkrat's position, Gladio will find that he's practically just up and disappeared.

The oversized bug, on the other hand, seems to be rather upset with Gladio with ruining the opportunity to snatch an easy meal. His blade lands, but the hard carapace redirects the momentum, leaving a nasty gash in its natural armor. It doesn't seem to help let out some steam.

The oversized insect chitters angrily before going in to take off one of those arms of Gladio's. That ought to take care of the sword problem.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

test drive meme #16

agh html why this

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I can't believe chris parson is talking to himself right now

even with the knowledge i still can't

mind=blown

just how junkrat prefers it

i c what u did there

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