dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #22

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Malkus couldn't stand to see a young lad in any sort of peril! He was a wee boy once upon a time! These caves were killer indeed but he figured he'd come in, toss the kid in his satchel, and run off like some Krampus type hero.

That was, until a melon dog came bounding around the corner and sent his rescue upside down. ]

What the hell is that! Run boy, it's right behind you!

[ Malkus pushed the child down to make his escape, only for the monster to pounce on him instead. It was definitely an awkward moment as bits of oilcloth and dust rose in some cartoonish cloud of violence. ]

HELP LAD!

[ Angus ~~GETS REKT~~ eats dirt with a startled yelp, and sits up on his elbows to witness the sight of a gangly birdman getting beaten up by some kind of melon dog.

If he were a jerk, Angus could have run off and left the birdman in the dust... but that isn't what Caleb Cleveland would do, and it isn't what he would do either. So Angus dusts himself off, makes a mental note to clean up his skinned knees, and pulls his wand out from under his sweatervest (it's hanging from a lanyard, for maximum portability!), aiming carefully at the writhing dustcloud. ]

Sir! Are your robes fireproof? Or... or electricity-proof? Like at all? Also, that was very rude of you!

Survival! Didn't see you!

[ Those two answers contradicted themselves, as well as the fact that Malkus had directly addressed the lad before shoving him. The handydog slapped and gnawed at the doctor in a lightheartedly gruesome way as he screamed. ]

And probably! I don't know! I don't touch flames! Burn it! Burn me down with it!

[ Do it Angus, DO IT. ]

That doesn't make any sense at all, sir!

[ Angus bites his lip, uncertain. The dustcloud is still writhing around, a mess of tangled birdman limbs and horrible flailing watermelon-dogs. He doesn't want this guy to get caught in the crossfire if he tries any offensive spells..

... so Angus casts Levitate on the watermelon-dog, which floats up about ten feet to flail around and gnash in midair. ]

I think running would be a very good idea now, sir!

Test Drive Meme #22

1 Handogmelon

MALKUS, WHY

no subject

YEARS LATER, THIS TAG COMES BACK FROM THE WAR