Test Drive Meme #22

[hadrielmods]

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:

1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: THE WRONG KIND OF SCARY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

There's an odd shuffling to your right and to your left. Do you know what that is? Maybe not, but at least nobody else does either. You might peek at an eye stalk or a stinger, you might catch a glimpse of something that can maybe pass for fingers... or maybe it just has a mouth on its butt because its creator was feeling particularly sadistic that day. That's right, you're looking at the creatures from Spore, EA's infamous alien creation game with the most awkward alien creator imaginable.

These particular Spore creatures are the carnivorous kind, the kind who seek out and eat other creatures so that they can instantly procreate to pass on their victim's genetic code and make their species even more wild. You might not want to stick around and watch the mating process. I promise it's just as weird as you think.]

T R A N Q U I L I T Y / C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO TWO: STEPFORD SUNDAY
[You wake up one lovely weekend morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside and sun streaming through your window. What a wonderful day to be perfectly normal and happy in the suburbs! Your family is all around you, like a Norman Rockwell painting, happy to go about their average day in their average life in their average city.

So what if your sister is an archdemon? Or your father is somehow a dragon? It's just the way that things have always been... isn't it?

The perceptive of you may begin to see cracks in the veneer, may begin to wonder why everything seems to be so perfect... and as the truth begins to unfold, it paints a much darker picture than the one you're seeing. Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?

This is a mini version of our Stepford Summer event this month!]

R A G E / D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: CAKE WARS
[There are plenty of ways in this world to rouse your competitive spirit. Many of them involve athletics- few involve such beautiful edible artistry as this.

That's right, you're in a cake baking competition, and no matter how competitive you normally are, thanks to Rage's influence, you want to win. Competitors can be in teams of two or alone, and they have until morning to bake their cakes to the fullest and bring it to Delight's temple for judging.

So what kind of cake baker are you? Do you revel in your artistry? Do you measure everything and carefully prepare each icing tip? Or do you know that you suck at cooking and decide to use the opportunity to sabotage your opponent's cake instead? Nothing is off limits, and all's fair in cake and war, after all!]

Comments

angus mcdonald / the adventure zone

[hellosirs]

spooky scary dogs with handS OH GOD WHAT

[ Angus isn't the type to panic when suddenly thrown into bizarre situations. For instance, waking up in a giant spooky cave after falling asleep in the library with a copy of the latest Caleb Cleveland novel doesn't immediately terrify him. The deep sense of unease is there, of course, but Angus deliberately buries it underneath several layers of Logic and Reasoning. This is weird as heck, but he can figure this out. He's the World's Greatest Detective, he can figure anything out. First, he has to take stock of the situation:

... Okay, he's got his wand, a notepad and pencil in his back pocket, and the latest Caleb Cleveland novel on him. That means that he can defend himself, take notes on his surroundings, and interview anyone he comes across in order to get a better idea of what this place is and how he got here. Then he can sit down with a good book once he gets a chance to rest. He's got this. He's got this.

At this point, a creature that looks like a cross between a watermelon and a dog with human hands skitters up to Angus, snuffles at his arm, and rips a chunk out of his sleeve with needle-sharp teeth. Angus yelps, and just manages to zap it with a Shocking Grasp before he stumbles to his feet and takes off running.

Okay, getting away from the bitey watermelon dog that's chasing him takes first priority, then he can figure out what's going on! ]


Pleasantville

[ Angus McDonald, World's Greatest Detective (or at least, the #1 member of the official Caleb Cleveland: Kid Cop fanclub, he has the official decoder ring and everything!), is sitting on the front porch of his house, swinging his legs back and forth, enjoying a beautiful summer day, and trying to figure out why something seems... off. He isn't sure what it is, and whenever he tries to think too hard about it, his head sort of gets fuzzy, and something about that seems familiar too, but...

It's probably nothing, he thinks to himself. I should just enjoy the nice weather and read the next chapter of my book while I'm outside.

The rest of him thinks: The weather is always nice here, isn't it? Caleb Cleveland would listen to his instincts.

He gives this a moment of thought, and then waves at the nearest person walking down the street.]

Excuse me, Sir/Ma'am? May I ask you something?

01; dog with HANDS

[restinglichface]

[The moment that Angus scrambles away, the abomination behind him lets out an anguished yelp of pain, scurrying away on it's human hands from a very familiar-looking elf standing just some feet away from the boy. Lup raises a hand and gives Angus a thumbs up across the short distance.]

Cute cantrip, little dude, but you may want to put a few more powerful spells in your arsenal for this place. The people who run this place don't discriminate by age. It's the same level of fun for everyone.

[hellosirs]

Taako!

[ If he were in the right frame of mind, Angus would have noticed that this flashy-looking elf has slightly different body language than the one he knows; she holds herself a bit differently, and is... well, a she. Instead, he's so relieved to see a familiar face that he just lights up behind those dorky glasses, and starts running for Lup. ]

I'm so glad to see you, sir! Well, not glad to see you here since it seems pretty awful, but glad to see you in general! I was hoping to get further away from it before using any bigger spells, I thought that distance might be better for something... long... range...

[ As he gets closer, Angus slows to a stop and frowns, one hand reaching across his chest to hold his bracer, where the creature's teeth had scraped against the metal and torn up his shirtsleeve. Up close, it's easy to see that there's been a mistake. ]

... Oh. Um. I'm sorry, ma'am, I... Oh boy, this is awkward.

[restinglichface]

[It's kind of cute. Lup's not sure if she's ever seen anyone light up that way at the sight of her brother before. Usually Taako entering a room was proceeded with protesting groans or people just getting up and leaving. So, it's very sweet to see anyone so gosh dang excited to see him. Unexpected, sure, but still sweet.

As Angus crosses the short distance between them, Lup just waves away his apology, like it's a bad smell she wants nowhere near her.]

No sweat, kid. It's an easy mistake to make. But, for future reference--[She points up at herself and grins.] I'm the hotter twin. Natch.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS

[hellosirs]

I don't think I'm in any position to judge, Ma'am, and I can't really call you that as a name, because that would be super weird.

[ Lup gets a long, analytical stare, like he's studying her from the ground up. It's the same kind of look that Angus uses on potential suspects, or just on people that he hasn't figured out yet. The family resemblance is obvious, and they even have some of the same physical mannerisms, and he knows Taako isn't exactly forthcoming about his past, but... ]

... He's never mentioned a sister, before.

wink wonk, let's go w pleasantville!!!

[pocketspa]

[Even in a place like Pleasantville, Taako has managed to make himself incredibly busy. Being one half of a duo managing a restaurant, getting ready to go off on a multi-city tour, and planning a show means his mind is thinking about 17 different things at once and almost misses the fact he's getting hailed if the voice didn't ping initially as someone he knew.

Except... he doesn't. Taako squints, pursing his lips a little bit as he looks at the boy addressing him. Why did he think he knew him? Maybe a fan?]

What's up, little man?

[Maybe it'll come to him in a few minutes. Now he's curious, and that's enough to push off his plans for the rest of the day.]

ALL ABOARD

[hellosirs]

Ohmygosh! You're Taako, from TV!

[ For a second, Angus wonders what a 'teevee' is, but the thought passes as quickly as it arrives. He's probably just starstruck, because how often do you meet a celebrity? That must be why the elf looks so naggingly familiar. ]

Well, I was about to ask if you'd noticed anything funny going on lately, sir, but my parents are big fans of yours, and I was wondering if I could ask for an autograph instead!

[ His parents aren't home much (or ever, it seems like, and something about that seems weird, too), but they watched that show all the time, didn't they? It probably just started in the evenings, when Angus was busy with homework, which is why he can't remember ever watching it himself. ]

They've been watching your show since... [ he frowns, and narrows his eyes a bit. ] How long have you been doing the show, sir?

DOOT DOOT

[pocketspa]

[Taako can't help but feel his mouth spread into a grin as Angus speaks, tripping over himself and abandoning any line of conversation that isn't about him. That's never going to get old.

Makes sense that he thought his voice sounded familiar, though. Sometimes it just gets lost in the crowd.]

Hey, I've always got a minute for a fan.

[He moves closer to lean on the fence, not quite going through the gate because, uh, entering a private residence when only a little boy is home is sketchy at best. He frees an arm at Angus' second question, moving to tap on his chin as he thinks.]

Mmmm been a little while, I guess. Gettin' ready to go off on our big hype tour, though, so everything's been pretty non-stop for a bit. But hey, I appreciate the dedication. You got somethin' in particular you want signed? And uh, a pen.

[hellosirs]

Oh! Um... just a minute...!

[ Angus trots inside his picture perfect house, and reappears a few minutes later with a pen and... well, he's pretty sure it's one of his parents' cookbooks. It has a cover made of soft blue leather, and there doesn't seem to be a title on it or anything, but he found it on a shelf in the kitchen, so it stands to reason that it's a cookbook, right?

(Deep down inside, Angus's inner Boy Detective is yelling and jumping up and down.) ]

This should work! Here you go, sir.

[ If Taako opens up the book, he'll see a note about some guy named Tom Bodett who had a charm spell cast on him by a bunch of doofuses at a train station. ]

1 Handogmelon

[doctoral_bird]

[ Malkus couldn't stand to see a young lad in any sort of peril! He was a wee boy once upon a time! These caves were killer indeed but he figured he'd come in, toss the kid in his satchel, and run off like some Krampus type hero.

That was, until a melon dog came bounding around the corner and sent his rescue upside down. ]

What the hell is that! Run boy, it's right behind you!

[ Malkus pushed the child down to make his escape, only for the monster to pounce on him instead. It was definitely an awkward moment as bits of oilcloth and dust rose in some cartoonish cloud of violence. ]

HELP LAD!

MALKUS, WHY

[hellosirs]

[ Angus GETS REKT eats dirt with a startled yelp, and sits up on his elbows to witness the sight of a gangly birdman getting beaten up by some kind of melon dog.

If he were a jerk, Angus could have run off and left the birdman in the dust... but that isn't what Caleb Cleveland would do, and it isn't what he would do either. So Angus dusts himself off, makes a mental note to clean up his skinned knees, and pulls his wand out from under his sweatervest (it's hanging from a lanyard, for maximum portability!), aiming carefully at the writhing dustcloud. ]

Sir! Are your robes fireproof? Or... or electricity-proof? Like at all? Also, that was very rude of you!

[doctoral_bird]

Survival! Didn't see you!

[ Those two answers contradicted themselves, as well as the fact that Malkus had directly addressed the lad before shoving him. The handydog slapped and gnawed at the doctor in a lightheartedly gruesome way as he screamed. ]

And probably! I don't know! I don't touch flames! Burn it! Burn me down with it!

[ Do it Angus, DO IT. ]

YEARS LATER, THIS TAG COMES BACK FROM THE WAR

[hellosirs]

That doesn't make any sense at all, sir!

[ Angus bites his lip, uncertain. The dustcloud is still writhing around, a mess of tangled birdman limbs and horrible flailing watermelon-dogs. He doesn't want this guy to get caught in the crossfire if he tries any offensive spells..

... so Angus casts Levitate on the watermelon-dog, which floats up about ten feet to flail around and gnash in midair. ]

I think running would be a very good idea now, sir!

pleasant(?)ville

[extraversion]

Oh, hello! [It's a nice morning for a jog, which is exactly what Viktor is doing when the small voice cuts through his music. He removes one earbud, head quizzically tilted. He hasn't actually heard what Angus said, and makes an educated (also completely wrong) guess.] Would you like an autograph?

[He smiles, pushing his bangs out of his face. It's a pointless gesture. They just fall right back into his eyes.]

Or perhaps a photo?

[He never turns down a photo with a fan. It helps that he's one of those lucky people that look put together and camera ready even when they're sweating in their tracksuit.]

[hellosirs]

No thank you, sir, I have no idea who you are!

[ He says it with all the bright, cheerful earnestness of a small child who is unintentionally dropping a sick burn. ]

I was going to ask... it's been awfully nice weather lately, hasn't it? Can you remember the last time it rained?

[extraversion]

[The sickest of burns. On par with the cheerful, offhandedly cruel criticism Viktor himself has been known to dole out on occasion.

He does not exaggeratedly grip his chest and make a tch noise, which would be an appropriate response to the sheer burnosity Angus has achieved, but he does look completely dumbfounded for a moment before he finds his stride again.]

... The last time it rained...? [... okay, so his stride is still a little wobbly. He looks up at the sky, frowning thoughtfully.] Come to think of it... no. I can't.

[That is strange, he thinks, for about half a second before the effects of the illusion take hold again. Then he looks back to the boy with a cheerful smile.] Isn't it wonderful? Sunshine every day!

[hellosirs]

[ Angus frowns, completely oblivious to Viktor's reaction, and stares down at his littel oxford shoes, kicking back and forth against the edge of the porch. From there, his gaze flicks to the flowerbeds lining the yard, and his expression clouds over in direct contrast to Viktor's sunny grin. ]

It's nice, yeah, but isn't it also a little bit weird? How are all of these flowers and stuff in bloom if it hasn't rained in forever?

pleasantville

[armcollector]

[Magnus Burnsides, world-famous mall cop, who is absolutely not at all world-famous in any sense of the word, has committed workplace theft. Very recently, actually. He's riding the stolen vehicle in question right now, chugging along on the sidewalk when a little boy suddenly approaches him.

Yes. He's stolen one of the official mall security Segways. He just drove the thing right on out of the mall and went on home with it. Don't worry. He messed with the security cameras before he did it. He knew exactly what to do. It was the perfect crime.

Only now he's been apparently caught red-handed by this kid who's just asked an innocuous question. But that look in his eyes. Magnus can tell this kid can see right through him. There's something about him that just makes him feel like he's definitely about to get arrested. He's not sure why. It's just a nerdy, noodly sort of kid. The exact kind of kid Magnus would've alternately teased and beaten up the real bullies for when he was in school.

Wow, that was a long time ago. Let's not think too much about that. Or how... foggy his entire childhood is. Huh.

Anyway, right, he's stared blankly at this kid long enough.]

Uhhh, sure? I'm allowed to have this, by the way. Mall security brings their own Segways to work.

[He points at the badge on his chest that reads "Security". He's some kind of official person, so don't try anything, kiddo.]

Is your mom or dad not watching you? Grandpa, maybe? Is this your house? Are you loitering?

oH MY GOD

[hellosirs]

What? No!

[ No matter what sort of crazy AU shenanigans situation he's in, one thing about Angus will always remain consistent: despite being the world's greatest detective, he is still pretty damn gullible and ridiculously easy to troll, which is why he looks absolutely guilt-stricken and scandalized at this accusation! He can't get arrested for loitering, what if it goes on his permanent record?! ]

I'm not loitering, I... I live here! [ He's pretty sure that he does, anyway! ] My parents are away on a very long business trip, and my Grandpa is asleep!

[ ... Wait a minute. Angus squints at the segway, eyes narrowed in suspicion...]

... Sir, you do realize that being mall security and wearing your uniform outside of work doesn't actually make your authority extend outside the mall itself, right?

:')

[armcollector]

Excuse me? Do I have to walk you outside?

[Wait. That doesn't track.]

Do I have to walk you into the mall and then walk you back outside? I'll do it. I do cardio. Just, just a good run around the neighborhood. Get my exercise. I'm not like those other lazy security guards.

[He definitely tries to do cardio, which basically consists of a run once a month if he ever feels like it and actually remembers to. One time he got a gym membership, went for a couple hours for three nonconsecutive weekends, and stopped going but was too lazy to cancel so he never got his money back.

Somehow, though, he's got some muscle on him beneath the... bigness. It's probably just natural? His natural power to lift three grown adults at once. Yeah, that sounds about right.]

Besides, I earned this uniform. I'm a valued contributor to society. I have authority in the community.

Uh, anyway, what's your question, Ango?

[Wait, where did that name come from? He's never heard of anybody named Ango, it just sorta... came out of his mouth.]

I can't believe Magnus was Paul Blart all along

[hellosirs]

[ Angus tactfully avoids looking at the segway while Magnus waxes on about cardio and laziness. Pointing it out would be very rude, he thinks, and he isn't 100% sure that Magnus can't arrest him. He's about 99.9% sure, but that .01% of doubt in his mind keeps pointing out that legal citations would look bad on his future college applications.

... Wait a minute, 'Ango?' Angus doesn't make friends easily, let alone ones playful enough to give him goofy nicknames, but this one feels weirdly familiar... like a warm blanket, or a bearhug, or a slightly painful noogie. ]

... I didn't introduce myself, sir. I think that something very strange might be going on, but I'm not sure what it is yet. I was going to ask if you'd noticed anything odd lately, but knowing my name out of nowhere and abbreviating it to a pleasantly friendly nickname is pretty odd, so I think you may have already answered my question.

pleasantville pls

[weedbgon]

[ Off is a good way to describe the day, maybe the past couple of days. Things haven't been totally... right. He'll have a second nature reaction to something that doesn't fit, or reference a party he never went to, say hey to a stranger he knows he's never really dealt with. Today's no different.

Namely because he just sort of wants to trip this small, polite child for no apparent reason. Merle doesn't try it, but the fact that he thinks about it kinda stinks. Why's he such a jerk lately? ]

I mean, I'm not gonna stop you from asking. Shoot.

[hellosirs]

[ It's not Merle's fault that he wants to revert to his instincts. Angus just has an permanent Zone of Bullying around him; if he went to public school, he'd be the sort of kid who spent most of his educational career being stuffed into lockers and getting wedgied. ]

Thank you, sir! Have you noticed anything odd around here, lately? Or, well... oddly normal, I guess? Maybe too normal?

[weedbgon]

[ He's so good and only finds suffering... poor Ango.

Merle scratches under his chin, thinking the question over. It's definitely a good one: it puts words to the vague and unreliable feelings he's been trying to explain to himself. Too normal. ]

Ahh, yeah, you know what? I think so. I think that's what it's been! I mean, I know for a fact I haven't done my taxes in the past ten years, but I haven't even gotten a letter about it. That's shady.

[hellosirs]

[ It's his lot in life! ]

... Sir, you might not want to say that sort of thing out loud? Especially not in public, when there are mall cops on segways patrolling the neighbourhood?