dankmemes | test drive meme #23

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!test drive

test drive meme #23

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open August 25th, and apps are open September 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: SLIPPERY NAKED PEOPLE
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

No big deal, but there's a freaky wall-climbing zombie thing stalking you. Maybe you should get inside? Or run. Or just accept death. This time, the Door has brought in some Descendants, from the Uncharted video game.

Descendents are emaciated, man-eating monsters that used to be normal people until affected by a virus - you know how that goes! Terribly, always. They are fast and agile and quite strong, and they will stalk you and crawl up walls and maybe break your neck if they can. Badass.]

S O R R O W / H O P E

SCENARIO TWO: THE FUTURE ISN'T BRIGHT
[You found a mirror. It's your mirror, created just for you, and when you look into it - well. You might not want to look more than once, because it shows an image of the worst possible future you could imagine for yourself. Maybe you're dead. Maybe someone you love it. Maybe you've lost everything. Basically, it sucks.

What are you gonna do? Throw it away? Smash it? Keep looking over and over because you love pain? Or maybe someone else threw theirs away, and you're the one that found it. You really, really want to look. Invasive, maybe, but your curiosity is killing you. Just a peek...

This is a mini version of our Bad End event this month.]

L O V E

SCENARIO THREE: VISIT ME AND EXPLAIN YOUR PASSIONS
[You know that totally inconsequential hobby? The one that you love? Or maybe your favorite TV show or comic book? Wouldn't it be great if you had someone to talk to about it? Someone who would listen patiently while you explain the family tree from that obscure fantasy novel you reread every year?

Well, wait no longer! Your time is now! The moment you make eye contact with someone, you'll know they want to listen to you explain your obsession. They've just been waiting and hoping you'll come along and educate them! So go to town, buddy, tell them all about your waifu.

Or maybe a stranger just walked up to you and started talking about their favorite knitting pattern. That's... cool. Are you gonna interrupt them? Walk away? Get into an argument about how your favorite knitting pattern is so much better? Now's the time to show your passion, or possibly your complete disinterest! Go for it!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh yeah? Cool. Me too. Why'd you pick yours?

[And then he shrugs.] I've been to worse places. The city itself isn't so bad. It's the being stuck that blows.

[Hayden opens and then closes his mouth again, furrowing his brow.]

I forgot.

[Oh well? Oh well.]

I heard it somewhere once but I don't remember where! How about yours? Did you read it in a book?

[Oh. Harlan snorts.]

I don't remember either. I just thought it sounded cool. There's a library here, though, if you like books.

I like books but I don't read so good.

[As in, he can read, like, low level picture books meant for toddlers learning how to read and that's about as far as that skill goes.]

Do you think they have ones with lots of pictures?

Dunno. I haven't had a chance to check it out myself, but I don't see why they wouldn't. I'll take you sometime, if you want.

Hooray! That sounds fun! You're the best, Harlan, sir! You saved me and offered to take me to a library and asked what my name was all in one day! That's so much!

[Is everyone in the city this great? Maybe he should stay here forever after all!]

[oh my god]

Hah, thanks, but none of those things are that big a deal. We've got a lot of free time to kill, here. It can get boring unless you keep busy somehow.

[...]

Hey what are you, by the way? [Is that a rude question? TOO BAD.]

[No, introductions are definitely a big deal since he could've just easily snapped his fingers at Hayden and said "you" or referenced him vaguely as "that one", which he's pretty used to at this point so it doesn't really bother him. At least, he doesn't think it bothers him, but admittedly Hayden hasn't exactly stopped to think about it.]

I'm a demon! Well, I'm just an imp, so I'm not so good for so much except for my special skill which I have already showed you! And you're a human wizard, right? Right? I bet it's fun to be both of those things!

[Tell him this someday, Hayden. Harlan will systematically Blight everyone who has ever wronged you.]

Well, I've met quite a few demons and trust me, you're the coolest one by a long shot. They might've been more powerful than you, but power isn't everything. They were dicks.

[He shrugs. Demons are assholes, but also, demons and imps are something Harlan's familiar with. This all checks out so far. Interesting.]

I'm human, and technically, I'm a sorcerer. Used to be a wizard, though. [Which is a weird transition???] Sounds like we might be from the same place.

[Hayden balks, taking a step backward and putting a hand to his chest.]

You think I'm cool?

[Hayden will now die for you.]

What is the difference between a sorcerer and a wizard and I am from where dead people go! If you live anywhere where people die than this is probably a truth!

[hayden do not???]

Yeah, you're really cool. Most demons are jackasses.

[That... is an interesting turn, though. Do demons and imps have anything to do with people dying? Other than, like, being the cause of it.]

Wizards learn their magic, but sorcerers are born with it. Uh... So you're from like, the underworld, or something?

[he doesn't know shit about afterlife mechanics.]

[Hayden hums as he thinks about it, looking around him like he thinks someone is going to overhear and he'll get in trouble. He leans in conspiratorially, but he doesn't really lower his voice so it's not like he's ultimately being more secretive than before.]

I was born in Hell but...nobody is very friendly down there.

[This is a secret he's entrusting you with because clearly nobody would guess that Hell is not a hospitable place to be.]

But Mister Lord Satan picked me to work in his office, which is located in a different part of the Underworld that is much less scary! So I live there instead. I have to be careful to do good jobs or I might get banished again into the scary place.

[That sounds pretty metal tbh. Your secret is safe with him, Hayden.]

That... does not sound like anything I'm familiar with, but it's all good. There's people from all over the place here. It's probably for the best that you're not the type of demon I've seen before. Like I said, they're jackasses. Usually trying to kill people and shit like that.

[He thinks for a moment.] Y'know, sounds like you might be better off here than in the actual Underworld. No one's gonna banish you to fucking Hell. Jesus.

Really? You don't think that'll happen? That's great news!

[He doesn't really know how it would happen but bad things seem to happen to him just naturally, so it's always a concern. Life is truly unfair.]

I like to be in places that are not as on fire and other such things! My favorite places have grass, though I'm not supposed to eat the grass! I was told this!

I'll go as far as to say I'm sure it won't happen. Seems like the only way to get out of here is to get randomly yanked through the Door again.

[Harlan makes a mental note to go kick Satan's ass as soon as he gets out of here. He can probably take Satan, right?]

There's a park here. It's got grass. We can find you something better to eat, though. Whoever told you not to eat grass was onto something.

[Hayden's face scrunches up as he considers these words. Something better than grass to eat...]

Beetles...?

[...?]

Yeah, there's probably beetles in--[WAIT.] No, jesus, don't eat beetles. Oh my god. Like, a sandwich or something. When's the last time you ate?

I don't remember!

[He does not remember!]

There is nothing in my pockets anymore so probably not today!

[Hayden spins on one foot in a dangerously disoriented circular motion, hands out to balance himself.]

I don't like to eat the bugs because I think they probably have families but sometimes I can't help myself...!

[Harlan takes a deep breath and rubs a hand over his face. Holy shit, this kid.]

Alright, fuck it. Come on. My apartment's close.

[He starts off down the path and waves for Hayden to follow him.]

[Nobody has ever, for any reason, led Hayden to believe that it's not a good idea to follow a stranger home. And anyway, maybe that idea kind of goes out the window when you're already in a completely strange place. Either way, he is very delighted at the idea that he gets to eat food that is not something he found on the ground.]

Okay!

[He starts to run ahead of Harlan in his excitement, but then nearly trips as he stops, remembering that he has no idea where Harlan lives. Grinning, he rocks back and forth on his heels as he tries to contain his energy.

It's fine. He'll probably crash at some point.]

[Maybe one day Harlan will realize that inviting a little boy back to his apartment after knowing each other for like .2 seconds is really weird, but today is not that day.

He wasn't lying, though. His apartment is just down the road from the coliseum. He leads Hayden into one of the big spires dotting the city. Get ready for a climb, dude. He lives on the seventh floor in a building with no elevator, a decision he regrets every day.]

What kind of food do you like? [what do kids even eat tho]

All!

[Great!]

Not broccoli or dirt.

[Okay, good, some honesty.]

Edited 2017-08-24 04:13 (UTC)

...sometimes dirt.

[Hayden stop.]

[..........

Harlan stops mid-ascent to shoot Hayden a confused frown.]

I think we're gonna need to revisit the concept of "food" here. I mean shit that's actually edible, not just whatever happens to find its way into your mouth.

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