test drive meme #28

[hadrielmods]

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open January 25th, and apps are open February 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:

1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: GOT ANY BREATH MINTS?
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

It looks like this time the Door is going for a little variety. You get to enjoy a couple kinds of chaos serpents, from the video game Hexen.

Chaos serpents are bipedal reptilian creatures with three horns, in two different colors. They can bite, as with most monsters, but the real threat is their breath weapons. The green ones spit powerful fireballs, while the brown ones spit clouds of poisonous gas. If you're lucky, they'll fight each other instead of you - but who ever gets lucky here?]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: ONE MINUTE IN HEAVEN
[Remember that first rush of infatuation, when your heart beats fast and your cheeks get red and you feel like you could do anything - anything - to get your crush's attention? Maybe you don't. Maybe you're too level-headed for that. Well, not anymore.

Now, whenever you meet a new person, you feel one solid minute of the most intense crush you've ever had. Their hair! Those eyes! Those incredibly attractive arm muscles! That tinkling laugh! Maybe you're the type to get nervous, maybe you'll swallow seven packets of hot sauce to show how cool you are, maybe you'll just lay down your very best pickup lines. Maybe more than one of the above - there are so many ways to embarrass yourself in 60 seconds!

But then time's up, and your insta-crush is gone, and now you get to deal with the consequences. What did you say? What did you do? That laugh you thought was beautiful and tinkling turns out to be obnoxious and honking. Also, you're pretty sure you just hit on your neighbor. But hey... maybe they actually are pretty hot, and you just made the first move. It's possible!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: THE PITTER PATTER OF LITTLE FEET
[There you were, minding your own business, when you suddenly fell into a deep sleep. Not that you remember that - now all you remember is being a child, as your consciousness has taken the form of your younger self. Here's your opportunity to run around and get into all the trouble you could hope for!

Or maybe you didn't become a child - maybe someone else did. Did some random kid just run up to you, confused and a little scared, or possibly just obnoxious? It'd be nice of you to help them out. Unless you hate kids, and hey, who can blame you? They're loud and somehow their little hands always seem to be sticky. Still. Make sure they don't run straight into the monsters outside the city, all right?

This is a mini version of our Hope of a Child event this month.]

Comments

Lavernius Tucker | Red vs Blue

[lovernotafighter]

1. Love

[Look, the long and the short of it is that... it didn't feel any different, not really. It was the same damn thing after the Temple of Procreation: everyone else got their jam on and Tucker...well, Tucker was the same; he had even kicked the Temple and his key to make sure it was working.

There was a baseline with him, and this? Well, this was it.

So, it was no wonder that Tucker still smiled at whoever passed by, that Tucker still leaned against the nearest wall (or tried to because he misjudged the distance and stumbled a little), that he still said the magic words:] Are you a transformer, baby, because you are Optimus Fine.

[Because that, too, was baseline.

Enjoy.]


2. Confusion:

[The hardest part about being a dad was how in tune to other kids it made him. Sure, other children weren't as cute as his, weren't nearly as awesome, didn't have total noble titles and were alien ambassadors by the fifth grade, but not everyone could be perfect, right? It still didn't stop Tucker begrudgingly caring about the less fortunate.

So when the kid ran into him and Tucker was done checking to make sure his wallet was still there -- what?! he had seen a lot of movies where the kids robbed people, okay?! -- he looked around. Um, so this was weird. Really weird. Uncomfortably weird. Eyes scanned around looking for a pair of frantic parents, but saw...nothing.]

Hey, munchkin. Did you escape your kid leash or something?

[What? He used it ONCE with Junior until he gnawed through the thing in like, one bite. Don't judge.]


3. Wildcard

love!

[igniting]

[There are some fun side effects to being raised in near total isolation. Namely, flirting is a skill Aloy has no proficiency in, but that's fine, because apparently neither does Tucker. That was bad enough that she can default to her usual deadpan sarcasm rather than get flustered.]

I have no idea what any of that means.

[lovernotafighter]

[Hey! Heeeeey! Lavernius Tucker was the Leonardo da Vinci of the pick up artistry world! He was to chicks what Michaelango was to coloring books! He had skill and talent and could teach his friends this stuff in his sleep.

Well, most of his friends.

This poor chick just didn't understand the references. Okay. Cool. Let's try something else, especially since she was cute. Red-heads usually were wiiiild in the sack, too, in case anyone was taking notes.]

What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

[And no, that eyebrow arch and smirk weren't exactly visible through the armor, but there was something about the way he was leaning that just screamed that it was hiding beneath that visor.]

[igniting]

[Yeah, she's... Still not getting it. She shakes her head.]

Your mind? What are you talking about?

[lovernotafighter]

[Hm. How to make this understandab--

His left hand curled into a loose fist before his right finger was slowly pushed into it. Why yes, Tucker has moved onto crude hand gestures when words just weren't cutting it.]

You and me. Tonight. Or now, if you have the time; I'd make the time for you, baby.

[Does that help?]

[igniting]

Ugh.

[She makes an utterly disgusted face, shaking her head again, this time hard enough that the beads in her hair clink together.]

Alright, alright, enough. I got it. No.

[lovernotafighter]

Are you sure, because I can show you again in slow motion. Or fast, if that's how you like it.

[He started to, in fact, the sound of the smile thick in his voice as his finger shifted. This was not the first - nor the last - time he had done this, but it was the longest he had gone without getting hit.]

Tell me, are you a chick that likes it fast or slow?

[igniting]

[Tucker is very, very lucky he's wearing a helmet. She scoffs.]

Will you stop that? Is this a genuine attempt or are you just trying to make me angry?

Love

[disarmer]

[ Magnus just kind of stares. He's...not really sure what a transformer is, but he's not so dense he doesn't recognize a terrible pickup line when he sees one.

Should he be flattered or weirded out? ]

Uh...thanks?

[ Might as well go with flattered. ]

[lovernotafighter]

[Probably both. Both was usually safest.

And hey, at least this guy wasn't exactly shutting the proverbial door on Tucker's face. This was going better than about ninety percent of his normal pick-up line encounters (not that he would ever admit such things; some things were better hidden and lost to over-embellishments), so he decided to roll with it.]

Do you have a name or can I call you mine?

[Really, how can you resist all this?]

[disarmer]

[ How anyone could resist lavernius tucker truly is a mystery for the ages. Yeah, both. Both definitely applies.

Magnus rubs the back of his neck. Would playing dumb work here? He could just pretend this is a completely, 100% normal conversation and avoid any and all awkwardness. That's how that works, right? (He can hope, okay.) ]

I'm Magnus.

[lovernotafighter]

[Right?! He's been saying that for years!

Playing dumb was still probably nicer than most reactions; feigning ignorance was still better than flinging drinks in his face/visor, and that was pretty par for the course. Finally, somewhere that his charms and skills were totally appreciated. It felt much better.]

Magnus? [He narrowed his eyes a little, wondering why it sounded like an armor build or something out of one of Simmons' nerd shows. Huh. Oh well.]

I'm a lot of things: Chosen One, badass, totally single, but you can call me Tucker. [Because it was his name.]

confusion

[hardwearing]

[ This kid doesn't just run into Tucker -- he's on a skateboard that he's apparently just learning to ride and has lost control of, arms flailing slightly as he slams into Tucker and falls backwards off said skateboard and onto his ass with an oof. But not an apology. The boy looks about 10, with ruffled blond hair and a pink burn over his freckles from too much time in the Hadriel sun.

He picks himself up, giving Tucker a funny look. ]

A kid leash? Seriously?

[lovernotafighter]

Shit! [Tucker stumbled back a step, wincing a little because one didn't just go careening into someone without it hurting. The sound of the skateboard rolling away was a distant hum, brown eyes flickering to watch it before he headed over. One foot met the end hard enough to kick the board up, and he grabbed it.]

Dude, learn to brake before you kill yourself. [Ugh. He sounded responsible. Gross. Who was this kid, anyway? He looked... he looked familiar, but shit, when was the last time he saw a ten year old that wasn't an alien? The youngest on Chorus was fifteen and before that it had been yeeears.

Where the hell had he seen him before? ]

And yeah, a kid leash! What, do you have like a kid kennel instead? What do they do around here?

[hardwearing]

I'm working on it.

[ It's said sharply, almost defensively, as the kid closes the distance between them and grabs to get his skateboard back. If he was hurt by the collision he's hiding it well. ]

No. I've got nothing, here. They don't do anything.

[ Which had been nice, at first? Nobody paying him any attention at all. But as the day went on and he still didn't know where to get food or where he was going to be sleeping... well. It was quickly becoming less fun. Still, he wasn't going to let on that he cared. He could play street rat for awhile, he was tough. Right? ]

[lovernotafighter]

Except get eaten by monsters or some shit.

[Yeah, way to sugarcoat it for a kid who was probably going to have nightmares, if he wasn't already. But, dude, one just had to open their eyes up and it was pretty obvious that this wasn't the safest place for a person, let alone a child. What the hell.

Maybe they had been eaten.

Fuck, this was going to fall on him to find this kid's parents, wasn't it? Because it wasn't like Tucker could let him wander around all by himself and just...find his bones tomorrow. Sure, it'd mean that he'd inherit a sweet skateboard, but not worth it.]

Well, you got a skateboard, which I could totally kick your ass at, just so you know. [He couldn't; it had been a few years since he was on one. Nine to be exact.] Where are your folks?

[hardwearing]

Monsters?

[ Tucker gets a skeptical look -- monsters aren't real! Aliens are, though, and that's probably what he'd assume the monsters here were if he'd seen them. But he hasn't. Which is a very good thing because he wouldn't stand a chance against one. ]

Not unless you give it back!

[ He makes another grab, but he's kind of a small kid and Tucker can easily hold it out of reach. As for his family... ]

Why should I tell you?

[ Actual answer: he has no idea where he is or how he got here. 8'D ]

[lovernotafighter]

In a bit, short shit.

[Tucker held it up, higher out of reach; he wasn't the tallest of the Sim Troopers, but at least he still had something over a ten year old. It seemed like a stupid thing to be proud of, but he had no shame, never had; he took his victories where he could and lauded them accordingly.

But he just wanted this kid's attention, dammit; he just needed to clear it with him that he was okay, that he had parents, that he wasn't a walking monster midday snack, and then Tucker could be on his way. Totally reasonable, totally made sense. Why couldn't kids get that?]

Because if you don't, I'll skate off on your board doing sick tricks and everyone will just know you as the kid who wasn't nearly as cool as I am. [Would that work? It had to work.]

Come on, just tell me.

1

[requiemshark]

[Ephemera tips his head to the side and stares at the Sim trooper for a good ten seconds. That's not the reaction he was expecting from one of Washington's idiots, even if Ephemera does have his armor and helmeted on and nobody's seen the ruin of his face just yet.

Apparently the gods are fucking with people again. That's great. Sim troopers have been inflicted upon the general population. As well as....

Whatever that's supposed to be.]

Are you high?

[Ephemera rocks back on his heels.]

Whatever you're on must be awesome.

[lovernotafighter]

[Okay, so maybe Tucker hadn't exactly realized who it was he was hitting on when the line left his lips (and it was a great fucking line because, come on, all of them in their armor pretty much had this Optimus Fine on lock down). Now that he did, and he was staring at that familiar paint job? Oh. Well, fucking shit hell.

But it didn't matter, not in this minute (fifty-nine seconds and counting), because damn, sure this guy was an asshole that wanted to kill, like, all of them, but--]

I wish. [Because being high would explain why his heart was still beating hard, why his cheeks were burning, and--]

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home. You know, in my bed.

[There will be a time in roughly fifty-six seconds from now when Tucker would much rather gut himself with his own sword than remember this moment. But maaan, is that time far away and the clock is ticking slow.]

[requiemshark]

[.....yeah. Fuck this.]

I was going to be nice, [Ephemera tells him slowly, taking a step forward.] Because you're one of Washington's and I'm trying this anger management thing. But you're starting to piss me off.

[He doesn't like being mocked. That's the only explanation Ephemera can think of for the Sim trooper's behavior. Therefore, he feels completely justified in making a good attempt at ramming his knee into the guy's dick.]

[lovernotafighter]

[Hey, hey! He wasn't mocking him! Every flirtatious word was in complete earnest for the next forty-nine seconds.

Tucker felt his eyes widened as he took a step back, unsure how a) he was pissing him off, and b) when Wash started to own him; if anything, Wash was more theirs than vice versa. Dude, come on, the facts kinda spoke for themselves.]

You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me--

[And that was all he got out before a knee rammed into his dick, knocking the wind out of his lungs and dropping him to his knees in a fit of twisted up agony. Okay. Yeah. That was way worse than getting a drink thrown in your face.

He thought he might throw up as he sat there, doubled over. ] W...what the...ffffuck? S...should've known... you'd be feisty. [Forty seconds.]

[requiemshark]

[Don't kill the idiot. Don't kill the idiot. Don't you dare kill one of Washington's idiots. Ephemera repeats the mantra in his head, furiously. He doesn't like this man and the situation is starting to make him uneasy, a nagging feeling like he's missed something crawling up from the surface.

For one, the man sounds sincere. For another, he doesn't give up even after Ephemera's clocked him in the dick.

The gods are fucking with him, Ephemera decides. Either that or he's finally lost it completely.

Awesome.]

Hey, baby.

[Ephemera lifts up his arm. Activities his flame thrower. Lets the fire dance a little. His voice is tight, angry. Just like his stance.]

Try that again and I'll show you a really hot time.

[lovernotafighter]

[This wasn't going well. This wasn't fucking going well. Sure, he was used to being shot down, getting told no, having people get disgusted and walk away, but it had been some time before he had basically saved a planet that he had been kicked in the dick for antics like this. God, he forgot how much it hurt.

And now--

Well, now we're bringing weapons into it.

Tucker stared, and some part of him, some tiny, itty little bit of him knew he shouldn't say anything. Really. He did. But his heart was still doing that beating thing and well--]

Is it hot in here, or just you? [He swallowed, the pain like a weight in his gut still, but the words wouldn't stop.] Because, dude, I'm thinking it's both.

[Sorry.]

i'm sorry for him

[requiemshark]

[Ephemera felt his good eye twitching. He's being mocked. He decidedly does not like it.

Washington will definitely be pissed if one of his men gets killed. Or seriously maimed. But.

Ephemera leans forward a little.]

You'll live.

[At which point he activates the flame thrower for a short, bright burst.

It'll probably shock the hell out of the guy and sting a bit, but the survival suits are aptly named. A short burst probably won't do permanent damage.

Probably.]