dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #33

Entry tags:

!test drive

Test Drive Meme #33

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open June 24th, and apps are open July 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: WEARS HIGH HEELS WHEN SHE EXERCISES
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

And this one is, well, particularly creepy. Especially if you dislike body horror, or spiders, or being eaten. This time, the Door has brought in Virginias, from the video game The Forest.

Virginias are rather disturbing-looking monsters, looking a bit like multiple bodies all squished together. They move quickly, they can charge and leap at you, and those creepy arms and legs hurt like hell. They also make skittering noises, if you want to be even more creeped out. So have fun with that!]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: YES, LIKE THAT
[Today, it's you time. You woke up this morning and you knew it was the perfect day to practice a little self-care. To put yourself first. To treat yourself. And that's what you're going to do!

Whether that means drinking too much, skipping out on unwanted obligations, telling people what you really think of them, or eating that last donut - you're looking after you now, and it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks! All that matters is that you're happy. So party on, and let's hope your fun doesn't get in the way of anyone else's life.

This is a mini version of our Love Yourself event this month.]

R A G E

SCENARIO THREE: JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS
[This morning you didn't wake up wanting to treat yourself. Oh, no. You woke up wanting to show your anger - to the world, to yourself, to anyone watching. You want to break shit, start fights, get into pointless internet arguments. They're wrong, after all.

So why not? Find a stray piece of wood and start smashing windows. Tell someone you don't like the way they're looking at you. Post something incendiary on ~~Twitter~~ Hadriel's network. And wait for the responding anger. That's what you want, right? Someone to face off against?

Let's just hope you don't go too far.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe I'll try Pac-Man later.
Is anyone free to use the lab, or would I need some kind of permission?
I'm assuming this Door thing isn't just someone's door, yeah?

Of course you can use the lab.
Even if you need permission, I'm giving you permission.
Not exactly.
It's a door between worlds.
Or dimensions.
Or both.

This is literally the best news I've heard since I got here.

I'd say that sounds crazy, but after all the stuff I've seen I think I'll believe anything.

[there's a slight pause in replies as George still isn't used to being helpful to anyone]

Glad I could help?
Oh yeah?
What have you seen?

Oh I just mean
I like showed up and there was the whole monster thing?
I'm sure you've all seen stuff like that before, being here and all.
This place is kind of nuts so far.
[He totally doesn't put on a flashy costume and fight weirdos in his free time, not at all]

Yeah.
Been here almost a whole year.
You'd be amazed at what you can get used to after a year of putting up with Stupid God Tricks.
You'll get used to it.
Promise.
[and she's totally not a Grim Reaper, so they're good]

You've been here that long?
None of this really sounds promising as far as like, escaping goes.
Has anyone managed it?
[They have so much in common]

Yeah.
Hard to believe, even for me.
Sorry.
People have, but no one left the rest of us instructions.
[therefore, they must become bffs!]

It is what it is, nothing to apologize for.
It sounds like getting out of here isn't impossible.
So, that's kind of a plus.
Thanks, by the way.
[I am in favor of bffs!]

Okay. Thanks.
It's not.
It's just that no one knows how to actually do it.
Which sucks, but what can you do?
[there's a slight pause in response]
No problem.
I'm George. Who are you?
[yay! they need to get matching bracelets and such]

Keep trying to figure it out, I guess?
I don't know what I could do to help, but let me know if you think of a way that I can.
If nothing else, I can do some heavy lifting.
Anyway, I'm Peter, I'm from Queens.
Where'd this place grab you from?
[hell yes friendship bracelets]

That's all we can do.
Though, you might wanna ask Sorrow.
Rumor has it he knows shit about the Door.
What kind of heavy lifting?
Nice to meet you, Peter.
I'm from Seattle.
In 2003.
[get the embroidery thread and beads!]

You know like
physical labor and stuff.
Literally lifting heavy junk.
[A brief pause between replies because hey cool, something new to be confused about!]
Wait, 2003?
Didn't you say you'd only been here a year?
[They will be so trendy with their matching bff bracelets]

Ohh, okay.
Got it.
Right now, what we really need are boatbuilders.
You could probably help them lug trees around.
[she assumed the year would get a reaction]
It's not just worlds this place takes people from, it's times.
And sometimes, it even brings dead people back to life.
[everyone around them will be jealous!]

Boat stuff, got it. I can totally do that.
[oh there are some reactions going on lemmie tell you. there's a pause between replies]
I think you just blew my mind a little
But I can't decide if it's in like
A good way?
Or a bad way.
[everyone'll be mad jealous once they start getting secret handshakes involved]

Yup.
'Cause islands.
There are four of them.
[it's okay, Hadriel does that to everyone. /pats gently]
It's okay to not know.
I spent my first two months here in a perpetual state of WTF?
Once you've got your first stupid god trick or two under your belt, you'll be on the road to being just as cynical as the rest of us.
[it requires a fistbump followed by an explosion sound effect when it's done]

Oh cool, we get four islands to be stranded on.
I feel like there have been reality shows about stuff like this.
[Rude, Hadriel. Super rude.]
I'm kinda used to WTF at this point.
As long as the dead people aren't like secretly zombies or something?
Then yeah, I think I can get used to this.

The best one's the West Island.
That's the one with the Lab on it.
And the Clinic.
I'm sure there have been.
Survivor was a thing.
Is it still a thing?
[that's Hadriel's specialty, being rude]
Yeah?
Now I've gotta ask why.
But don't worry about the dead people.
They're all better here.
You will.
You'll be fine.

Yeah, it's on season like 30 something now?
I haven't really watched it
It's kind of just always been a thing. Like the Simpsons. It just never ends.

[there's kind of a long pause between replies while he decides how he wants to reply. Pretty much everything about his life rates at about a 8.5 on his WTF-O-Meter right now, just kind of in general.]

Okay so
Have you ever seen this old movie, Independence Day?
The WTF is kinda like that, with like aliens and space ships coming to Earth and stuff
Only there were less explosions I think

Oh, damn.
That's kind of beating a dead horse.
You'd think people would get sick of it.

[it's okay. George has been there, being drafted into becoming a Grim Reaper after her untimely death. that was a solid 9 on her own WTF-O-Meter and it just got worse when she actually had to start taking souls]

Yeah, I've seen it.
Kinda cheesy, but the special effects were cool.
So, wait, actual aliens?
Are they like Mr. Spock or the aliens from Aliens?

I know right? It's kinda ridiculous.

See these weren't cool Mr. Spock aliens
They mostly just wanted us dead
or like, half of us.
They didn't look cool like the aliens from Aliens though, one looked a little like Squidward
wait did you have spongebob in 2003?

Really.
Just put it out of its misery already.

Of course they wouldn't be, that's asking too much.
...seriously? That's fucked up.
Yeah, we had Spongebob.
He really looked like Squidward?!
What was his power, to make people die laughing?

Wow, Spongebob is old.
He had some kinda telekinesis, actually.
He could throw junk with his mind or whatever.
so, yeah
I guess that was a thing.

Wait, they're still making more of it?
That's a lot less funny.
Did you have to fight him or something?
Sure sounds like it.

Oh yeah. I'm from 2018 and they're still making it. There's been a couple movies, too.

[Oh dang. Does he brag about fighting aliens like a badass, or does he play it safe and just act like some normal kid? Uuuugh better just play it safe until he knows more about. Like. Everything.

Time to spin a super convincing lie!]

Nah it was
on Youtube

[Nailed it.]

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