dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #9

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!test drive

Test Drive Meme #9

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open May 24th, and apps are open June 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE:
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH HENTAI TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to swarm around you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in a group of malboro, from the Final Fantasy video game series.

These plant-like monsters are essentially comprised of long, tentacle-esque stalks- sometimes with eyes on the ends- and large, gaping mouths. Their breath can be poisonous and literally make you sick to your stomach, and- just your luck- they're carnivorous. Happy hunting!]

C O M B I N A T I O N

SCENARIO TWO: DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME
[You're so tired- at least you've got a reasonably safe place to rest your head at while you recuperate, right? After all, nothing can go wrong when you're asleep.

Aaand that's where you're mistaken. For this event, all characters who fall asleep will either be Hosts or Visitors in their, or someone else's dreams. All dreams are inflicted by one of the four gods (Hope, Delight, Rage, or Fear), and will have their presence influencing the events within your dreams in order to harvest their desired emotion from you.

The sky is essentially the limit, so long as your dreams correspond with one of the four gods. Happy sleeping!

This is a mini version of our Dreamwalker event this month!]

D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: JUST SAY NO
[On your kitchen table the next morning is a blue pill. Just the one pill, along with a glass of what seems to be water. There's a note in elegant script next to the pill that merely says 'TAKE ME'.

If taken, the pill can have a variety of effects. You can hallucinate, you can get uncontrollable giggles, you can feel drunk, you can feel like colors all have textures and shapes and the world is looking at you through a kaleidoscope! The drug can have whatever effect the player desires, as long as it's pleasurable or fun.

So: do you take it? Can you hear someone who already took the drug, stumbling down the street? You, uh, might want to help them, and do be careful. There's no telling what kinds of monsters are still out there.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He's just gonna stick his foot out and slooooowly push Newt's chair away while not letting go. Take that NERD ]

Normal people would notice something like that!

[ Time to switch tactics. ]

What if I say please?

[ while…still pushing the chair away because it's important to have options ]

Not when you're just standing there, not saying that you're there!

[he's going to kick out at Gojya's shin, then 8| get off his chair, man!!!]

I don't care if you say please. I'm not telling you! You broke it! [Newt Geiszler, master of compromise]

Gimme the thing.

[ He lets go abruptly, gesturing to it. ]

Gimme the thing, I'm gonna fix it.

[Having been pulling back from Gojya's grip, Newt has a brief moment of having to flail to keep his balance once released. At the suggestion of him fixing it, however, he legitimately throws himself bodily over it, glaring at Gojya suspiciously]

Hell no! You're just gonna break it again!

I am not gonna break it again. [ He leans on the table, vaguely exasperated, like he's dealing with someone totally unreasonable. ] 'Sides, you weren't working on it anyway. You were just sitting there.

Right, like I would totally trust you with that since you broke it in the first place. [s a r c a s m. As for that other bit--] And--and I was totally working on it! You just weren't there to see it. [he doesn't sound entirely convinced]

Yeah, okay. How long were you sitting there like this?

[ He props his cheek on his fist, mimicking Newt earlier, except with the most exaggerated stupid daydream face ever made. ]

[Newt's cheeks actually flush pink, which is kind of impressive because that hasn't happened in forever. It's not a nice feeling.]

N-None of your business! [and he's reaching out to try and shove at Gojya.] I'm allowed to look at my boyfriend if I want to, asshole!

[ He's fully capable of eating a shove without moving, so he ignores it in favor of scrutinizing the other guy. ]

Well now I feel like a dick.

[ But that whole wire-breaking thing, nope. He looks back at Newt. ]

Holy shit, you're neon red.

[Newt's shove ends up being far less effective than what Gojyo says next, considering the way Newt's face absolutely flames in reaction, the resulting red starting to even bleed into his ears]

So what?! Who asked you, anyway?! [Newt, you really have to stop making this so easy for other people] And--and you should've felt like a dick sooner, fyi, considering what you did to my project!

It was one little thing! And you're not even fixing it; you're just sitting here getting mad. Is it even yours?

[ it really is awfully easy. ]

[ When Hermann turns around, he has no face!!!!

...Just kidding. But that'd be some nightmare, huh? Not the. Hopeful sort.

Anyway.

It is a dream and so Hermann has been... faintly aware. Faintly aware of activity, of his own presence, of irritating conversation behind him. No timer sound, but he knows dimly that the pasta is ready -- and then he knows it clearly. Everything sharpens, colors becoming stark, his mind processing the last minutes of dialogue.

Hermann frowns and shakes his head, hard, before turning to drop the pot into the sink.

With something of an aggravated crash.

Because he is aggravated.

When he turns, one might wish he did not, in fact, have a face, because it's not exactly a pleasant one. ]

It's his. Who are you?

[ With a disapproving, annoyed glance at Newton. ]

You go on about my reluctance to introduce myself, when I'm sure you haven't got his name, and stop whinging, I'm sure you can fix it, but no, sir, you shouldn't touch it. You might break it again -- or more, I suppose, since what, it's still broken? And I'll have to listen to it for the next seventy-six hours --

[ Now he frowns properly at the stranger. ]

Why are you here? I don't think I've made enough.

[ Cue concerned scowling at the sink. ]

Edited (got so caught up thinking i was funny i forgot the icon) 2016-05-30 23:16 (UTC)

No. It's fine.

[ A muttered conclusion.

He'll just split his own portion. It's fine. Naturally he has to feed the man?

Or throw him out. Whichever. But he's put up with Newton this long.

Still. There's one thing left. Hermann grabs a ragged towel from the counter, turns, and chucks it at Newton's head, hissing. ]

And don't call me that in front of strangers!

[ That = boyfriend. ]

Um, I don't have to get the name of someone who broke my shit, and I'll whine if I want to! It's not like I go into someone else's lab and just randomly start picking up and fucking up their stuff! [....that may not be ENTIRELY true, but Newt believes it's true, and so it is. Mostly because he hasn't had the chance to go into anyone else's lab and fuck shit up. Anyway, it's a protest, started, but then paused by the fact that there's a towel on his face now, thrown with excellent accuracy--which he quickly retrieves and balls up in his hand]

Also, what? Are you saying it's wrong? [TOTALLY CHUCKING THAT TOWEL AT THE BACK OF UR HEAD, HERMANN]

[ Why is he here?? That's a good question.

For which he has no answer, so it takes him about two seconds to discard. He raises his hands and takes a step back from the table, though: junk inventor guy is not scary, but pasta guy looks real serious. ]

I can go, if you guys need some, uh, time. Listen, you can come to my lab and fuck shit up any time you want.

[ He does not have a lab. His lab is a disgusting dive bar somewhere. ]

[ Normally, that would hit him. However, they might as well have a (comedy) routine down. Of course Newton's going to throw it back. He had reason to sidestep -- part of grabbing the lid to drain the pasta.

The towel hits the wall with a sad thump then slides to seek comfort from the faucet. Hermann's silence as to whether it's true or not tells enough of the story.

Hermann squints over his shoulder, through the steam. ]

You have a lab?

[ 15% disbelieving, 85% not dismissing the possibility, probability. Newton doesn't look like much of a scientist. All tryhard leather jacket, skinny tie, skinnier jeans. Tattoos. Mr. Jonathan (Doctor Impossible, honestly) had been a literal supervillain-scientist. It's possible. Pasta drained. Pot back on stove. Sauce dumped in. ]

Don't invite him unless you mean it. He'll do it. Do you have a name? Despite how much you both like the word, I doubt it's Dude.

[ Don't try to tell him it's Dude. He'll end up very cross for believing it for .05 seconds. (Can't be helped with people running around named or calling themselves Deadpool and Thor.) Now stirring. ]

Listen, whoever you are, it will make absolutely no difference whether you go or stay [ seriously they'll have the same argument whether someone's there or not ], so if you're hungry, you might as well.

Stay, I mean. Newton, fetch another plate.

Edited (also sorry for editing so much fffff ) 2016-05-31 02:46 (UTC)

Um, of course I would do it! [He glances sideways at the guy, though] If you've actually got a lab.

[Suspicious Newt is suspicious. But, true to form, they will argue, and this time Newt will direct the subject. At least a little. Hermann's suggestion has him squawking, spreading his hands wide] What?! [scowling openly at Hermann] Oh great, he breaks my shit and you invite him to dinner! [he's throwing his hands up, stomping over towards the plates so that all involved know that he is rather irritated. Also a terrible host o o p s]

[ New assessment: pasta guy is cool. ]

I told you I'd fix the thing, and you freaked out at me. I could still fix it. [ It can't be that hard, surely!! ] And—and—you could still come break all the shit at my lab. [ All he'd have to do to put this genius plan in motion is borrow someone's lab! To be returned completely trashed, if this guy is actually capable of wrecking Science Shit, which Gojyo is increasingly willing to bet he's not.

And then, turning to Hermann: ]

Thanks, man. I'm, um, Gojyo. [ He's gotten weirdly unaccustomed to introducing himself. ] That pasta smells amazing. [ It's important to stay in the good graces of the one who cooks, in any situation. He knows this well. ]

[ Poor Hermann is now at 10% and 90%. After all, the man keeps insisting he can fix it, which lends some credibility to his having a lab. Thus, he's musing: he probably shouldn't let Newton go and break all of it. This guy only temporarily broke one thing.

He's turned partially back toward them to watch Newton stomp, a faint smirk starting, because... annoying Newton is gratifying. World's #1 Couple. ]

If you don't like it, you shouldn't have sat there bickering with him for eleven minutes. I won't be rude because you haven't got any etiquette.

[ Pointedly raising his eyebrows once Newton's close with the plates. Then, to Goyjo. Who actually has manners! Look at that, Newton! More smile than smirk. ]

You're welcome, Mr. Gojyo. We have to stick together and all that. [ Should it be -san? He's not sure where to put the name. ] Have you got a last name? I am Dr. Gottlieb and my colleague is Dr. Geiszler.

[ ...yes, he's sure going with colleague, though Newton already went and said much more than needed to be said. Speaking of the pasta, he's distributing it among three plates. To Newton, quietly ] You can bring those over --

[ and back to Mr. Gojyo ]

-- and that's generous of you. [ And! Polite! See! Newton! ] I'm afraid it's all boxed and canned, but it's something, here.

Edited (....i fogot the original percentages) 2016-05-31 11:28 (UTC)

[Newt turns to listen to the guy for a minute as he's getting down plates, still a bit suspicious, but warming up at the idea of checking out someone else's lab. He's still irritated about he was working on being broken but...sure. Let the guy try and fix it. Now he's curious. Though he does wrinkle his nose at Hermann.] I wouldn't have argued with him if he hadn't scared the crap out of me! And broke the generator switch. [ah, and now the thing has a name. Anyway he will be sticking his tongue out at Hermann. Because he's a mature adult.

As for that whole Dr. Geiszler thing--] Ignore him, call me Newt! Only my mother calls me "doctor." [even now, the corner of his mouth can't help but lift in a smug grin, which he directs at Hermann because not only was he able to use that great line that he's been using for years, he's clearly about to say something that'll piss him off--] And also, apparently, my boyfriend.

[ And now he'll be taking those plates and turning to walk towards the table. His attention flicks down to assess what's on the plates, though, judging how much is on each plate...and what he saw of what was left in the pot. So yep. He's going to plop himself down in a chair across from Gojyo and put one plate in front of him, and one in the seat next to him. For Hermann.

So there.]

So. What's your lab like?

[ What the hell is going on, nobody ever believes he's smart!! Which makes it incredibly tempting to be like why yes I'm Dr. Sha and my lab is full of cool shit, except he has no idea what a lab might actually contain, which is kind of an obstacle.

As for the last name thing: ]

It's Sha, but Gojyo's fine.

[ Nobody's addressed him formally in like, ever. Ever. He ambles around the side of the table to check out the 「GENERATOR SWITCH」, though he keeps his hands in his pockets lest some nerd have a heart attack. And to Newt: ]

It's in India. [ YEAH. Good one. He's just gonna go ahead and describe a temple. ] It's really high up, so there's a lot of, uh, medicine. For altitude sickness, which fuckin' sucks. [ A pause. ] There's a monk living there.

Yes, he's terrifying, isn't he.

[ d r y l y. Desert style.

As for believing he's smart, well, looks (and demeanor) can be deceiving. He'll allow it. Case in point, still: Newton.

At whom he frowns when he turns with his own plate, noting what Newton's done with those he handed him. He reaches behind, grasping for the cane hooked on the oven's handle. ]

Mr. Sha, then.

[ Informality is not fine for Hermann. He steps toward the table, narrowing his eyes at Newton. Play it that way, Newton. There's more left to be said. ]

Wash your hands before eating.

[ India redirects his attention once more. His eyebrows begin to raise in centimeter increments at the description that follows and he glances once at Newton. ]

That's odd. You must have plenty of visitors in need of it, as I understand that those who've long-lived at such altitudes are at least somewhat acclimated. There are arguments in some locations as to local evolution.

Well, medicine isn't my area. Does the monk, what, make the medicine?

You wash your hands. [Because Newt is a mature adult. Also, he's totally reaching for that plate when Hermann finally steps up to the table 8|

Anyway, back to that whole lab thing...Newt catches the look Hermann sends his way and yeah, no, he's pretty much on the same page. So he's just gonna arch an eyebrow at Gojyo]

So....there's a monk living in the lab. Up in the mountains. Making medicine for altitude sickness? [this sounds fishy. Newt's eyes narrow] What sort of equipment do you use?

Edited 2016-05-31 22:53 (UTC)

[ He almost starts to go for the sink, but at the last second his brain registers that this is some sort of internal dispute using petty demands as a medium (something he should probably recognize instantly, from experience), and he sits down. ]

[ Oh, he has a good answer for this one. ] Scrolls. You know what a sutra is? [ he barely knows what a sutra is, but he's about to be Sutra Expert Dr. Sha: ] It's really old writing on, um, magic paper—which sounds stupid, but it's real—and you can use it to do stuff.

[ As if he could use it to do anything. All of this he says in a blasé tone of voice. He might not have any generator switches, but he knows a guy who can do stuff with magic paper!! ]

Edited 2016-06-01 01:50 (UTC)

My hands are clean. You have been tinkering with filthy machinery this entire time. Wash your hands.

[ TBH Mr. Sha should also wash his hands. Plus, then he could point to him as a good example. ...but internal dispute via petty demands is right. Speaking of petty: he raises the plate and leans back, without looking away from Mr. Sha.

Or, Sutra Expert Dr. Sha. ]

Fascinating. I don't know much about sutra, but I don't believe they do quite that in our world. You must be from a different India. What sort of "stuff"? Do you mean that the altitude sickness medicine is effectuated through magic paper?

[ He'd have been incredulous once, even dismissive. He's seen rather too much by now to doubt it, so instead, he'd like to see it. "Magic paper" suggests less the sort of "magic" of equations on a paper eventually leading to feats of engineering, and more actual magic. Perhaps the two fields are conflated in Mr. Sha's world. ]

Test Drive Meme #9

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TMW you realize you've been spelling a dude's name wrong the entire thread I'M SO SORRY

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i confess i noticed she was misspelling but like a proper hermann just waited ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- ..

oops 2/2

mah nishtana u jerk

both precious

i'm sorry x 9999

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