Test Drive Meme #9

[hadrielmods]

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open May 24th, and apps are open June 1st.

Two quick points here as well:

1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE:
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH HENTAI TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to swarm around you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in a group of malboro, from the Final Fantasy video game series.

These plant-like monsters are essentially comprised of long, tentacle-esque stalks- sometimes with eyes on the ends- and large, gaping mouths. Their breath can be poisonous and literally make you sick to your stomach, and- just your luck- they're carnivorous. Happy hunting!]


C O M B I N A T I O N

SCENARIO TWO: DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME
[You're so tired- at least you've got a reasonably safe place to rest your head at while you recuperate, right? After all, nothing can go wrong when you're asleep.

Aaand that's where you're mistaken. For this event, all characters who fall asleep will either be Hosts or Visitors in their, or someone else's dreams. All dreams are inflicted by one of the four gods (Hope, Delight, Rage, or Fear), and will have their presence influencing the events within your dreams in order to harvest their desired emotion from you.

The sky is essentially the limit, so long as your dreams correspond with one of the four gods. Happy sleeping!

This is a mini version of our Dreamwalker event this month!]


D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: JUST SAY NO
[On your kitchen table the next morning is a blue pill. Just the one pill, along with a glass of what seems to be water. There's a note in elegant script next to the pill that merely says 'TAKE ME'.

If taken, the pill can have a variety of effects. You can hallucinate, you can get uncontrollable giggles, you can feel drunk, you can feel like colors all have textures and shapes and the world is looking at you through a kaleidoscope! The drug can have whatever effect the player desires, as long as it's pleasurable or fun.

So: do you take it? Can you hear someone who already took the drug, stumbling down the street? You, uh, might want to help them, and do be careful. There's no telling what kinds of monsters are still out there.]

Comments

Elmer C. Albatross | Baccano!

[keep_smiling]

[One]
[There's a very plain but pleasant-looking young man wandering the streets. His slightly worn clothes and bag slung on his shoulder give the impression of a college student on a backpacking holiday. Suddenly arriving in a strange, scary place hasn't seem to do much to wipe the bright smile from his face. Surprisingly, neither does the marlboro that suddenly turns the corner and comes face-to-face with him. Instead, he lights up with excitement.]

Is that-- Are you an Oscar? Ha, and me without a fire spell!

[Tentacles suddenly lash out towards him. Maybe someone ought to help the poor sap.]


[Two]
[Are you having a dream? It doesn't matter what emotion it's tied to. There are reasons for that. But Elmer shows up anyway, looking around much like a tourist. Despite whatever is going on, he'll greet you cheerfully.]

Hi there! I didn't know I could get lost while sleeping, but here we are. This is a dream, right?

One

[foundafamily]

[Firo stumbles upon the two just as the malboro and the man meet. Something about this guy looks familiar for some reason... but now is no time to worry about it.]

Hey! Watch it!

[Firo charges forward to try to tackle the man out of the way.]

[keep_smiling]

[Dust off those deep, dark thoughts to find him in there, Firo. On second thought, no, don't do that. You're better off.

Elmer doesn't even notice Firo until he's barreling into him. He goes sprawling just in time for Firo to take a hard slap from a tentacle. The marlboro is having a lucky day now that two people have shown up to be dinner.

The guy gives Firo a sheepish grin as he scrambles to his feet.]

Whoa, are you okay? I owe you for that one!

[foundafamily]

[Firo grunts and stumbles at the blow.]

That can wait! Come on, do you have a weapon?

[Whatever the hell this thing is... he doesn't think taking it unarmed is a good idea. He whips out his knife and tries to slash at the offending tentacle. Though even taking out that one, it's hardly enough to disable the creature.]

[keep_smiling]

[He laughs at the very idea of having a weapon.]

Afraid not. It's very admirable of you to go after something that large with just a knife, yeah? I'm thinking we should probably run.

[foundafamily]

Are you kiddin’ me?!

[Who the hell walks around unarmed? Having a knife or gun is just the norm in his neighborhood. At the least, he’d think a guy somehow lacking a weapon would try to be more alert to try and prevent these situations before they happen. Any chance of starting his lecture, though, is cut off as the malboro lashes out again, and Firo narrowly twists his hand back to avoid losing it and his weapon.

…Maybe this guy is right. If there’s one thing fighting non-humans has begun to teach him, it’s that sometimes a retreat is in order.

He grabs for this strange man’s wrist to try to yank him along.]

We can get to the armory down this street!

[keep_smiling]

[Elmer allows himself to be dragged along, since he doesn't know where they're going. He seems fine with this; probably a little too fine, since the marlboro is coming after them.]

Great! Though, I'm hoping we can just lock ourselves inside and away from that thing? I'm not much for weapons.

[One]

[notjustinthemirror]

[ He just watches in mild amusement. ]

You're not very good at this.

What do you think they'll do? Suffocate you? Eat you? Poison you? There's quite a few possibilities.

[ And he's just gonna stand there and watch apparently. ]

[keep_smiling]

[The tentacles grab Elmer and hold him up, as the marlboro menaces him with its great, big, tooth-filled mouth. It's a little distracting, but he still manages to answer the spectator.]

Everyone knows they do this bad breath thing! Status ailments, yeah? Well, everyone who plays video games would know, I suppose. Ah, and since this is real life and not a video game, I don't have any spells to defend myself! Any chance you can help?

[notjustinthemirror]

Sorry, fresh out of spells.

I can light it on fire if you'd like. But it seems pretty determined to eat you.

[keep_smiling]

That might work! I'd prefer if you could leave me out of the fire, but I understand if you c--

[Too late. The front half of Elmer has been shoved into the marlboro's mouth. Things are looking bad.]

[notjustinthemirror]

That's very understanding of you.

[ He watches for a bit as the tentacled monstrosity chews a few times, legs still hanging outside of its mouth. Well, can't hurt to help.

He lights a bottle of tequila and tosses it onto the thing, setting it ablaze instantly.

Who he's helping is anyones guess. ]

[keep_smiling]

[It's pretty gruesome. There's crunching, there's blood, and then there's fire. The marlboro roars in surprise and pain, dropping the half-chewed Elmer in the process. The monster starts to skitter away, and miraculously, its snack is still breathing.

More than that, the bones that had snapped were popping back into place, and all that he bled was actually seeping away from the marlboro and back into Elmer. Fascinating and disgusting all at once. It's not long before he's sitting up, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.]

Ah... That was unpleasant! But you managed to get me out of there, so you should smile.

[Yes, he sees the mask. No, it's not changing his opinion.]

one;

[circumitus]

[Did someone say "fire spell"? Pretty sure they just did.

[While Rey may not be equipped with any spells, she does have fire on her side. More specifically, her entire arm is freaking on fire as she rushes from behind the tentacled creature. Rather than screaming in pain, she launches a fiery burst of heat straight towards the malboro.

[The monster, plant-like as it is, is particularly susceptible to this. Good thing it was more focused on Elmer, but now it's not looking too happy with Rey as it whips one of its vines at her face...

[Ow.]

[keep_smiling]

[That was a pretty amazing spectacle, and Elmer watches wide-eyed until she takes a hit.]

Ouch. But hey, thanks! I'm unarmed, but I'm impressed with your ingenuity with your own way of fighting!

[Seriously, that takes guts, lighting your arm on fire. Unless it's magic? Maybe it is.

He's not quite sure what to do, so he offers a suggestion.]

Perhaps we should make a break for it though, yeah?

[circumitus]

[It's just a scratch. No big d. Not like she hasn't taken enough hits, if her scarred face is any indicator.

[She stumbles backwards, the fire trailing towards her hand. She catches the next tendril that lashes towards her, sending a blast of flame that erupts the plant appendage.

[Rey blinks when this stranger suggests that they hightail it.]

No worries. This shouldn't take long.

[Good thing the malboro is made up of plant properties. It catches fire easily with the next burst from her burning hand. Doesn't take long before the creature is rendered to charcoal.

[Her hands then clap together, waving off the fire from her otherwise unharmed skin.]

There. [That wasn't so hard, now was it?]

[keep_smiling]

[Elmer lets out a low whistle and even gives Rey some applause. Impressive!]

Wow, amazing! Simply amazing. You managed to defeat the monster and save my sorry hide, so you should definitely be smiling. Good work!

[circumitus]

[For a guy whose life was just in mortal peril, he's awfully chipper. Perhaps anyone would be happy just to be alive in this situation. It'd be pretty embarrassing to be killed by an overgrown shrub on your first day.

[She's definitely not smiling, though.]

Take it that means you're all right?

[He looks all right. In one piece, at least. That's about the most anyone can hope for around here.]

[keep_smiling]

[Elmer thumps a first on his chest to demonstrate how fit as a fiddle he is.]

Never better. I'd be even better if I knew where I've ended up, but for not I'll take it one step at a time. Unless you can help me with that part, too?

[Two] | Rage!

[federalbureauofimmortals]

[Welcome to Victor's nightmare. There are reports, newspaper clippings and pictures pinned to the walls with strings connecting them all in different colors. Events both big and small. Several papers are in different languages.

Elmer's face is up there on the wall along with all the other immortals Victor knows about and some he only suspects. Several are marked as "devoured" or "dead" and a couple, including Fermet, is marked with a question mark after devoured or dead. Victor turns on Elmer when he hears that voice. He grits his teeth and points a finger int he smiling man's face.]

You! Now you show up? What the hell do you think you're doing anyways? Or are you just here to mock me too? You're a strange one but I never picked you for being that sort of asshole. Just an asshole who doesn't care and just keeps screwing with everyone's plans. Seriously, do you know how shitty it is to have to cover up someone jumping off a bridge? That was you wasn't it? Smiling man showing off for some random nobody? Of course it's you! I can't even track half of you, let alone keep covering for you. What if Nebula catches you? You want to be a rat in some god damn cage as they poke and prod you for your secrets? Huh? Do you even care? Well? Speak up! Come on and say something for yourself! Don't just stand there!

[Victor has to stop to catch his breath, which is the first pause he's given Elmer to even speak up to all those accusations and questions.]

[keep_smiling]

[Oh please. If anyone could be resistant to Nebula's poking and prodding, it's Elmer. Been there, done that.

He's only half-listening as he looks over the wall.]

I see you haven't changed a bit, Victor! You could probably lower your blood pressure by a ton of points if you just stopped and smiled once in awhile.

And hey, I asked you a question first! If this is really a dream, is this what you really dream about?

[federalbureauofimmortals]

[Hey, it's Victor's dream and he's trying to save you all. And everyone from you.]

Lower my blood pressure? You know it'll just return back to normal.

And I'd smile more if you guys stopped making my life difficult.

[He choose this life.]

Dream? It's a god damn nightmare! That's what it's like having to be the responsible one.

Wait...

[No wait. Why would Elmer be here? Where's his team? Victor remembers he's not home so his team shouldn't be here. If that's true why are they in one of his warehouses?

He crosses his arms.]

If this is a dream why are you here?

[keep_smiling]

Just because you can blow a gasket doesn't mean you should, Victor.

[He plucks one of the clippings from the wall to look it over, but gets distracted by Victor's question.]

Hmm? Oh, I was going to ask you the same thing! But with sort of scene, this definitely seems like your sort of dream, doesn't it? That's pretty weird!

[federalbureauofimmortals]

Just because you can get on my fucking nerves doesn't mean you should, Elmer C. Albatross!

[Honestly, he hasn't seen you in a long time Elmer. He's just happy you weren't eaten. For certain degrees of happy.

Though the confusion about dreams seems to calm him down some, though.]

You know, if this was a good dream everyone would be back on a ship, on the ocean, away from everyone else and we'd be settling this whole debate of our purpose. Everyone would bring up good ideas, you'd say something stupid like making people smile, and Huey would come up with a shitty idea to terrorize the public. Then I'd pitch my idea and everyone would praise me for it and I'd get to retire.

So it's got to be a nightmare. That must by why you're here too. Though I think Huey being free again would be more fitting. Or Szilard so I can punch him in his asshole face. You're actually only a migraine in the bigger scheme of everything you know that?

[keep_smiling]

You've got some pretty tame nightmares, then, which is a good thing. [Elmer could talk about his actual nightmares, but that sure isn't going to make anyone smile.] Instead, you should smile since this dream has given two old friends the chance to reacquaint!

[He waves the photo he plucked off the wall, that happens to be Maiza, in the direction of the others.]

Do you really work this hard to keep track of us all? That's really impressive!