Test Drive Meme #9

[hadrielmods]

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open May 24th, and apps are open June 1st.

Two quick points here as well:

1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE:
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH HENTAI TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to swarm around you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in a group of malboro, from the Final Fantasy video game series.

These plant-like monsters are essentially comprised of long, tentacle-esque stalks- sometimes with eyes on the ends- and large, gaping mouths. Their breath can be poisonous and literally make you sick to your stomach, and- just your luck- they're carnivorous. Happy hunting!]


C O M B I N A T I O N

SCENARIO TWO: DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME
[You're so tired- at least you've got a reasonably safe place to rest your head at while you recuperate, right? After all, nothing can go wrong when you're asleep.

Aaand that's where you're mistaken. For this event, all characters who fall asleep will either be Hosts or Visitors in their, or someone else's dreams. All dreams are inflicted by one of the four gods (Hope, Delight, Rage, or Fear), and will have their presence influencing the events within your dreams in order to harvest their desired emotion from you.

The sky is essentially the limit, so long as your dreams correspond with one of the four gods. Happy sleeping!

This is a mini version of our Dreamwalker event this month!]


D E L I G H T

SCENARIO THREE: JUST SAY NO
[On your kitchen table the next morning is a blue pill. Just the one pill, along with a glass of what seems to be water. There's a note in elegant script next to the pill that merely says 'TAKE ME'.

If taken, the pill can have a variety of effects. You can hallucinate, you can get uncontrollable giggles, you can feel drunk, you can feel like colors all have textures and shapes and the world is looking at you through a kaleidoscope! The drug can have whatever effect the player desires, as long as it's pleasurable or fun.

So: do you take it? Can you hear someone who already took the drug, stumbling down the street? You, uh, might want to help them, and do be careful. There's no telling what kinds of monsters are still out there.]

Comments

[verinumeri]

Allow me to rephrase - I won't allow you to dissect it there.

[fortunefavored]

[UMMMM GUESS WHO'S JUST GONNA DO WHAT HE WANTS ANYWAY also rolling his eyes again, and totally making that 'blah blah blah' hand motion--before fishing his switchblade out of his pocket]

Here is just as good as anywhere! [and yep, looks like he's totally planning on using his switchblade to dissect that secondary brain l o l it's not like it's a REAL secondary brain anyway]

[verinumeri]

It is NOT!

[ Normally, Hermann would not interfere with Newton's work, however repulse.

He does think that once it's slop on his side of the lab, it's fair game.

So Hermann marches over and in his fury, tries a very big kick.

...The problem: the floor is covered in slippery guts. When he put his full weight into the kick, his cane skidded in the muck and his other foot slid.

So, yes. Hermann is instead falling.

..Hopefully Newton has not yet opened the switchblade, because rather than let himself fall into the guts, he instinctively aimed for Newton. ]

[fortunefavored]

[okay that Newt...didn't expect. There are two fortunate things, however: 1.) Newt's reflexes have gotten quite a bit better because Haven, and 2.) he hasn't opened his switchblade yet. So when Hermann goes down, Newt startles, dropping his switchblade in his haste to catch him. He can't quite help but grunt when Hermann lands on him because wow that's a lot more Hermann than he's used to in the times when he's caught him before, but somehow he does manage to keep Hermann from plummeting into kaiju bits and instead, awkwardly, into Newt's lap. So he's now got both arms wrapped around him securely--though he may have taken a knock to the head which he yelped at because ow cane.]

[verinumeri]

[ repulsive* someone should learn to type

Instead of planking or groping at him, instead of a very clumsy and awkward impact, it's awkward, yet, but rather neat. Newton actually catches him. If they were literally any other pair -- any other couple -- it might even have been romantic. Even with his shoes sliding still in guts, with the bottoms of his trousers becoming right sopping with it.

At it is, he is a touch impressed through his surprise. He also shifts his grip on his cane so it's at least not continuing to press against Newton's head.

How to say thank you or apologize without actually saying them, because it's Newton, and because it's Newton's fault anyway so why should he? ]

...Right, well. Nice catch.

[ Definitely shoving a hand against whatever of him he can reach to try and push off to his feet, however. ]

[fortunefavored]

[Honestly, Newt's pretty surprised at how well that went himself. So he's got a lap full of Hermann, which is a nice situation, but he's also got some pants that are starting to get soaked in kaiju guts, which is not as nice of a situation. Still.... Now that he's got a hold of him, he doesn't want to let go. Herman is warm and solid; a much heavier weight than he usually is, and Newt can't help but tighten his arms around him. It's partially amazing to appreciate such a simple thing, and yet also terrible that it must be so extraordinary to hold him and to not feel the sharp jut of his hip or the press of an elbow. These things remain, yes, but they are less prevalent. They are slightly softer, more rounded. He's never held Herman like this, in this form, so he can't help but cling, to want it to continue despite the viscera. He swallows, hard, throat tight as his eyes flick over Hermann's face; over angles made not so sharp by health. Newt will ever love Hermann in any form, but to see him healthy, now, up close, makes something squeeze in his chest all over again] Thanks. [its a little wobbly, and he swallows again to try and counteract it] I think I'm, uh...I'm getting pretty good at this whole catching you thing. [he's trying for levity. He's trying.]

[verinumeri]

[ oh my god now holy italics einstein, DON'T LET ME TAG LATE AT NIGHT

His failed attempt to push free focuses certain details: Newton's arms are thicker. His chest, against which Hermann in part presses, is more solid. His cheeks, a peripheral understanding underscored when he tilts his head and looks more directly at him, Newton's cheeks are not only without scars, but rounder.

That observation strikes him with the impulse to lift his hand, to cup it over his cheek, to feel it, him, like this. Even if they manage to undo the starvation of over a year, those cannot be removed.

Something squeezes in him, too, a chest long thing, from heart to gut, and tightening at the sound of Newton's voice.

Hermann tries, too, grumbling. ]

I do not fall that often. How often have you actually caught me?

[ He should try to stand up again. He doesn't, not yet, his weight shifting almost to settle. ]

1/3

[fortunefavored]

Often enough to get good at it, looks like! [...Hermann trying, also, helps. Newt shifts his hold just a bit as Hermann starts to settle, fingers curling over one of his hips, pulling him closer to Newt's chest, the other moving to rest over the curve of Hermann's outer thigh, cradling the other man against him]

[fortunefavored]

[Of course, that's when his expression suddenly stills because omg he's had a realization.] Oh my god.

3/4 i lied oops

[fortunefavored]

I can totally use 'falling for you' pick up lines now!

[verinumeri]

[ Oh.

No.

Here it comes. He can feel it. Accordingly, he's begun to struggle -- ]

4/4

[fortunefavored]

[which is the moment, of course, where his expression shifts into a smirk] Hey Süße, was that kaiju guts you slipped in or do I just naturally make your knees that weak? [and now he waggles his eyebrows. Of course.]

[verinumeri]

[ U G H.

Hermann twists so to shove against his shoulder. Hard. ]

Y-you are kaiju guts you awful -- let go of me --

[ A stunningly sharp retort, he knows, but the important thing is that he get off Newton and away from this hideousness. ]

1/2

[fortunefavored]

[Fortunately for Newt (and unfortunately for Hermann,) as soon as the other man had begun to struggle, Newt had tightened his arms around him preemptively, so nope, good luck Hermann. Newt's got a pretty good grip on you. Also, he can't help but laugh, a high and cracking cackle, when Hermann shoves at him]

But I've got so many of them!

[biggest. shit eating grin. Ever.]

2/2

[fortunefavored]

Like--[and here his grin, somehow, widens]--Do you need a bandaid? Because it looks like you scraped your knee falling for me.

[verinumeri]

MY KNEE IS FINE.

[ Horrible grip. Horrible laugh. Horrible expression. Horrible teeth. Horrible eyebrows. Horrible man.

If he fights much harder, he might get loose, but he'll probably end up falling right into the muck. Hermann debates whether it's worth it, and also, how to shut him up.

...Perhaps if he shoves him hard enough, Newton will fall back into it, and then he can climb off relatively unscratched.

By now, it's clear none of it's toxic.

...

Worth a shot.

SHOVE. Putting his whole body into it. ]

[fortunefavored]

[Newt's laughing again when Hermann shoves--so it turns into something like a squawk and really he can't help but let go at that point, jerking back--at which point he fair squeals because look, he may have spent a lot of his time squelching about in this muck but considering he landed on his back, he now has kaiju guts soaking into the back of his shirt and they're super slimy on the back of his neck and that is just a bit much for him. So now Hermann can probably scramble free, anyway, as Newt struggles to sit up]

[verinumeri]

[ ...Success?

He half-expected to get yanked down with him, so for half a second, he blinks with surprise. Smug surprise, but surprise. Only half a second, however, as he knows he has limited time to get up and away. His hands are quick as both grab his cane and thrust it down, leverage to propel him up, and he carefully edges backwards a few steps. ]

Well, I've decided to let you have your fun with the slop, so -- ta-ra --

[ PIVOTING AND WORKING TOWARD THE DOOR as much as he would like to watch Newton struggle, he knows nothing good will follow. ]

[fortunefavored]

[IT'S CUTE THAT YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET AWAY THAT EASILY

Newt is scrambling to his feet, grabbing an entire handful of kaiju guts on his way up--] Hey! [Yep, that's all that he's managing before he's going to chuck that handful at Hermann's retreating back. Enjoy that.]

[verinumeri]

[ Yes, this he also expected.

Thing was, if he'd tried to walk backwards, he almost certainly would have slipped again. His solution had been a zigzag pattern. Alas, too slow.

A handful of slime smacks square between his shoulder blades. It slides down his back, leaving a blue trail down his blazer. Hermann freezes. His shoulders slowly raise toward his ears. The back of his neck darkens to a vibrant scarlet.

One might expect him to begin hollering. Instead, he's quite still, quite quiet. Turning, he walks not toward the door, but toward Newton's side of the lab once more.

Of course he has multiple boxes of gloves.

As he yanks a pair onto his hands, he notes they're a bit small -- as always -- but the box in his size is stored too far. Hermann then carefully hangs his cane on a hook beside his holograph terminal.

And turns back to Newton. His mouth in a grim line. His eyes blazing. Hermann marches to the line, bends, and takes two fistfuls of guts. One he chucks immediately.

The second, he waits until he's carefully picked his way back over, to, if possible, try to slap it against Newton's chest. Right down that awful tie. ]

[fortunefavored]

[Newt did expect some yelling, yes. Especially because that throw was an absolute bullseye, right between the shoulder blades which has him smirking, viciously. But it's when Hermann goes quiet that Newt knows he's really mad. And honestly?

Sorry, not sorry.

It also means he's going to watch as Hermann crosses over onto Newt's side and grabs at a pair of gloves, and is already starting to back up a couple steps when the mathematician crosses over the line and then proceeds to chuck kaiju guts back at him.

Newt dodges the first throw with a yelp, stumbling back, miraculously managing not to slip quite yet, though it is very slick, and he's ducking down to grab a couple handfuls himself, straightening just as Hermann makes it to him, and thus he gets a chest full of slimy, cold kaiju entrails. At which point he squawks wordlessly in reaction, before--]

Oh, you asshole--! [and yep, you're getting a handful of guts coming at your ugly ass blazer, Hermann]

[verinumeri]

[ Within the thickening mist of fury, Hermann recognizes another unfavorable set of odds: if they are now standing in front of one another, stooping continuously to pick up innards to throw and smear on one another, they will doubtless reach a point where they attempt to intercept the other while he's bent to gather ammunition.

At that point, given the condition of the floor, balance will doubtless become an issue, and they will find themselves kneeling in it and effectively slapping each other with the same tendril of guts.

Something like that.

Yes, it doesn't take much in the way of predictive models or pattern recognition to see that.

He's too irate to care. HE IS INCREASINGLY COVERED IN KAIJU SLIME HE IS GOING TO KILL NEWTON. ]

You started it--!

[ ...actually, for once, Hermann might have started it.

...fancy that.

(And his blazer is fine, thank you.)

(Except for the guts, because obviously he can't dodge it.) He tries to get his hands in the way, to grab at Newton's wrist to prevent him, but mostly succeeds it getting more of it up his sleeve.

Snarling, with a slimy glove yanking at Newton's tie to hold him in place, Hermann bends (probably thus yanking Newton part of the way) to scoop with his left hand. In the same motion he's thrusting the handful up at him. ]

Here, since you like it so much!

[fortunefavored]

The hell I did--[except Hermann's grabbing at his wrist, and yanking at his tie, which definitely throws him a bit off-balance, just barely managing to find it, flailing a bit as Hermann bends for more ammunition, but Newt, fortunately, still has one handful of the stuff and now that Hermann's bent--] I like dissecting it, not laying in it--! [he sure is going to do his best to shove that down the back of Hermann's shirt]

[verinumeri]

[ Even before starving in Haven, his clothes were a bit loose. His shirt should be buttoned to the top button, but as this is a dream and it's funnier if Newton succeeds (plus will obviously make him angrier, kudos Rage), somehow there's just enough room for Newton to worm a nice, wretched tendril down his shirt.

On the one hand, thank goodness for undershirts. On the other, there's a chunk of kaiju guts slithering down his back.

Hermann yelps, jerking upright. ]

How dare -- aiecck! --

[ His right hand spasmodically released Newton's tie, but his left does keep swinging -- hopefully to get some of it on Newton, and if there's any justice in the world, in his awful face -- but he's rearing back, reaching behind under his blazer, yanking at the back of his shirt so it can fall back out and not pool and sit at the small of his back.

He should really just focus on that.

But, you know, same problem: Hermann's irate.

He tries too much.

He also tries to kick some of the guts on the floor at Newton.

Miraculously, he's still upright, but it's a very unsteady, wobbly, sliding upright. ]

You should be buried in it, I'm going to bloody bury you in it!

[fortunefavored]

[Newt has just enough time to cackle madly as some of those guts go straight down the back of Hermann's shirt, and the subsequent noise he makes--before he's choking off the noise, jerking his head away as Hermann's other hand comes up, shoving a fistful of guts right into the side of Newt's neck, which is so many shades of not fun, and now that his tie is released, he's jerking back half a step--] I'd like to see you try, you--[but unfortunately, he will not get to finish his insult as,in his attempt to avoid the guts kicked at him, he looses his footing and goes down pretty hard onto his back, possibly just close enough to knock hermann's feet out from under him as well]