dankmemes | test drive meme #11

Entry tags:

!test drive

test drive meme #11

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: WORKING TITLE
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to swarm around you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in a few Working Joes, from the Alien: Isolation video game series.

Once simply androids meant for mundane jobs, working Joes have had their programming altered to isolate and eliminate threats onboard their ship- which they now believe to be Hadriel. Super strong, yet slow and plodding, an android may ask you for identification before throttling you when you don't have the right answer. They are quite sturdy and difficult to destroy without the right tools. Have fun!]

H O P E

SCENARIO TWO: BEAUTIFICATION DUTY
[The city has always looked a little drab, but now with some tools from Hope, it's up to you guys to spruce it up a bit! Your character will find themselves in a shop filled with various paints, home improvement tools, window stickers, streamers, and various other items and tools used to improve the appearance of the neighborhood.

You're encouraged to add your own little flair to the project in order to improve living standards and make Hope the happiest god in the pantheon. So, what will you do? Paint a mural? Sweep up some rubble? Install a skylight! The cave is your oyster.

This is a mini version of our Extinction v2 event this month!]

S O R R O W

SCENARIO THREE: CRY ME A RIVER
[When you wake up in the morning, something feels... off. It feels like you just watched 20 ASPCA commercials in a row and then topped it all off with the first ten minutes of Up. You're beaten down, depressed, upset by all the horrific acts and trauma in the world, and it's enough to make you want to cry.

Turn on the waterworks, because Hadriel is about to have a shortage of tissues and everyone's getting dehydrated. You might run into your neighbor crying while you're scavenging for food, or you might just find that one whole asshole in the entire movie who isn't affected.

Either way, it's time to get some hugs, some kleenex, and maybe a little bit of chocolate. Happy... crying?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Is it boosting morale? Haleek huffs, tightening her grip on Cloud Song's armor.] No. I come from Azeroth.

Azeroth? Huh. Can't say I've heard of it. Maybe if I look it up...

[Yes, he's actually pulling out his phone to search for it. But alas, there's only static.]

Damn. No signal.

So what can you tell me about your home? Since my phone refuses to be useful?

[Haleek curls her lip. The human is doing something that she can't identify by sound.] Azeroth is the home to the greatest warriors in all the worlds.

[She pauses.]

What is a phone?

Great warriors, you say? If there's a way over, I'll have to check it out. I need to challenge myself.

[He pauses too when that question hits him.]

Oh! It's um, this.

[He holds it up, and that's when he realizes that she can't... oh.]

I am so sorry. I didn't know... er...

Anyway! A phone's a way of communication between people. Most people talk over it, but I prefer sending texts. That is, text messages.

[He stops just short of insulting her. A wise choice. Haleek grumbles under her breath.] You...write on it?

[And it's a device, not a spell. Perhaps one of those goblin things that tend to start smoking and explode if you use them too often. Interesting. Perhaps she can make use of it as well, if she can figure out how to use it without flooding the components with mana.]

Hmmph! You think yourself worthy of our warriors? That is quite the boast.

On some you can, but I type on mine.

[He turns up the volume so he can let her hear the phone make click-y noises as he types.]

It usually lets me send the message, but now it keeps giving me an error each time.

[He grins, albeit sheepishly.]

Well, I'm an ordinary guy, but I'm no slouch when it comes to fighting. They don't call me the "Turbulent Wind" for nothing.

[Haleek twitches, trying to memorize the sound. Sending messages on a...phone. She wonders what he wrote. Either way it doesn't seem to be working.] "Turbulent Wind"? That is a strange name for a human.

No no no, that's the nickname my friend gave me. My regular name is Rashid. So now I just introduce myself as Rashid of the Turbulent Wind!

[And he deeply bows.]

And what's your name, madam?

[Though she cannot see the bow, Haleek hears the scrape of his feet across the ground, and feels the way that Cloud Song shifts ever so slightly. It's not an attack. It might even be respect. She distrusts it on principal.] Haleek Thunderlash, daughter of Ogrimmar. Who do you stand for, Rashid of the Turbulent Wind?

Hm?

[He straightens up and takes a few moments to ponder over what she means.]

I stand for what's good and just? I don't really stand for any one person.

[His voice is kind of shaky as he hopes the answer is satisfactory.]

Then you decide what is good and just? Hmph! [It's foolish to trust humans to do anything, in Haleek's not so humble opinion. She snaps her teeth vaguely in his direction.] You are a strange human.

Kind of? I just go with what's in here.

[He puts his hand over his heart... before he remembers she can't see him.]

In my heart, that is.

Strange human. [It ought to be said again. Haleek crosses her arms over her chest. Cloud Song whines unhappily. It looks like he won't be eating humans today.] Where is this place? I don't...know it.

I'm not that strange...

My heart? It's in my chest. Kind of just below the neck.

[He pats near the center of his chest, hoping that she could hear just where he was touching.]

No, no! [Does he think she is simple? Haleek snarls a curse, snapping her teeth together.] This place! The ground under my boots, human! What is it called?

Oh! My bad.

[He tries to laugh it off like the dork he is.]

I heard it's called Hadrial? Hadriel? Something like that. If my GPS worked in this place I could tell you for sure.

[And now he's laughing. Haleek forces her hands to relax and does not go for her dagger. He's not laughing at her. And if he starts, Cloud Song will eat well tonight.] Hadriel. A demon realm? No. I can't smell any fel magic.

Is that what the word means?

[He's not going to admit that he might be a little scared.]

I've already been through one kind of hell. Don't tell me we're in another one.

[Haleek grunts.] Maybe. It smells wrong. But demons are clever.

[She twitches.] You survived a hell world? Hmph! Maybe you are strong after all.

[Smelling demons is kind of weird, but he could see the merit. Not that he'd voluntarily smell demons and all.]

More like a hellish base. Bunch of mindless soldiers and run by a monstrous dictator. I had to fight one of his subordinates...

That is less impressive than a hell world.

[But perhaps worthy of note after all. Haleek thinks she might tolerate this one, if she had to. In small doses.]

And you won, yes? That is good. Most humans are small and weak. You are small too, but I will forgive that.

[She can hear how he shifts his weight when he moves. He's not a large man.]

I did, but just barely. The guy poisoned me before I took him out. Still don't know how I survived.

[The comment makes him look down at himself. He's not the biggest guy, that's true...]

I'm not that small, am I?

Your ancestors were watching.

[Clearly. Otherwise he would have died. But it would have been an honorable death, so that is not so bad. Haleek snaps her teeth in his direction - more playful this time, though someone unused to orcs might not be able to tell.] You are human. Cloud Song could eat you.

[The wolf whines hopefully. Haleek bops her on the nose.]

[It's a little sobering to think that maybe she's right. Maybe they were watching, or at least his friend was.]

Thanks. That's really kind of you to say.

[The warm, fuzzy feeling is quickly dashed by the prospect of being eaten by a giant wolf. Gulp.]

Ahh... I guess all humans are on the smaller side in your world.

[It's not kind, Haleek thinks. Just true. The ancestors are always watching. She knuckles her fist against Cloud Song's head meaningfully. The wolf snaps at her, though not with malice.] Very small. But not so bad as goblins.

[Goblins are so easy to step on, even accidentally.

Haleek puffs out her chest.]

Is your painting done? No? Then hurry. If you are my eyes I will make sure nothing eats you.

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