test drive meme #11

[hadrielmods]

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open July 25th, and apps are open August 1st.

Two quick points here as well:

1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: WORKING TITLE
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to swarm around you and chow down. This time, the Door has brought in a few Working Joes, from the Alien: Isolation video game series.

Once simply androids meant for mundane jobs, working Joes have had their programming altered to isolate and eliminate threats onboard their ship- which they now believe to be Hadriel. Super strong, yet slow and plodding, an android may ask you for identification before throttling you when you don't have the right answer. They are quite sturdy and difficult to destroy without the right tools. Have fun!]


H O P E

SCENARIO TWO: BEAUTIFICATION DUTY
[The city has always looked a little drab, but now with some tools from Hope, it's up to you guys to spruce it up a bit! Your character will find themselves in a shop filled with various paints, home improvement tools, window stickers, streamers, and various other items and tools used to improve the appearance of the neighborhood.

You're encouraged to add your own little flair to the project in order to improve living standards and make Hope the happiest god in the pantheon. So, what will you do? Paint a mural? Sweep up some rubble? Install a skylight! The cave is your oyster.

This is a mini version of our Extinction v2 event this month!]


S O R R O W

SCENARIO THREE: CRY ME A RIVER
[When you wake up in the morning, something feels... off. It feels like you just watched 20 ASPCA commercials in a row and then topped it all off with the first ten minutes of Up. You're beaten down, depressed, upset by all the horrific acts and trauma in the world, and it's enough to make you want to cry.

Turn on the waterworks, because Hadriel is about to have a shortage of tissues and everyone's getting dehydrated. You might run into your neighbor crying while you're scavenging for food, or you might just find that one whole asshole in the entire movie who isn't affected.

Either way, it's time to get some hugs, some kleenex, and maybe a little bit of chocolate. Happy... crying?]

Comments

Zacharie | OFF

[catinthemask]

One: New Game Plus...?

[So stop me if you've heard this one before. A masked merchant walks through a Door - or rather, falls through one. It's rather serious, he does fall because it was OFF script. The end of the game didn't exactly conclude with Zacharie taking a trip down the rabbit hole, you know.

But nevertheless, he's back in business a short while later. Don't ask how he got wherever you find him, it's just his thing. The merchant's backpack is on the ground and overflowing with stuff, like baseball bats and...meat? It smells like it anyways. He waves anyone over who happens across him.]

Ah ah ah. Buenos días, my friend! Would you care to purchase an item? In times like these it's best to be armed to the teeth rather than rather than facing down another's!

[So yeah, masked merchant selling stuff. Totally not sketchy. But alternatively Zacharie can be found dodging the Working Joes that come after him. Apparently they haven't heard 'don't shank the only merchant in the game' before. It's rather rude!]

NOOT NOOOT

[skelebro]

[A monster? A human? Who can tell? Either way, Sans saunters over, sufficiently intrigued. He can appreciate a guy who hawks stuff to passerby, having done the same plenty of times himself.

He chuckles, and waves him off.]

Nah, I'm good. Like your style, though.

[He's just an NPC, anyway, in the grand scheme of his tale. NPCs don't need to spend G for anything.]

[catinthemask]

[NPC or not, he's still got an interesting look to him. A talking skeleton tended to bring to mind a quirky and nice RPG game but hey, that could be wrong. Just look at OFF.

But that really didn't matter much. Zacharie laughs.]

Fair enough, fair enough! Thank you for the compliment amigo. It's nice to hear I can do my job outside of my game.

[And hey, he might find something interesting for this guy later on. His introduction was next anyway.]

I'm Zacharie. The traditional items merchant necessary in every video game. Or RPG game, as it were. And you are?

[Yeah, two tags in and Zacharie goes for the fourth wall breaking. The merchant sticks a hand out for a handshake.]

[skelebro]

Sans. Sans the skeleton. Just a guy.

[All right, so that's a lie. Or just a simplification of the truth. Video game isn't the most comfortable phrase in the world (he knew it was a game in a manner of speaking, it had to be for them, but in a literal sense? Yikes) but it's no more or less comfortable than system_information_963, which still makes the back of his skull prickle with something inconceivable.

He takes Zacharie's hand with a grin, but do look out Zacharie - there's a joy buzzer in the palm of his hand.]

[catinthemask]

[Since this isn't OFF, Zacharie can't predict jack squat. There's no script for him to follow so getting zapped by a joy buzzer attached to the hand of a skeleton happens. Not that it's a bad thing; he can take a joke better than the Batter.]

Ah ah ah! It's a real joy to meet you Sans. A real buzz. Perhaps this is the beginning of a shocking friendship?

[He winks, which is generally useless since he wears a mask, but the humor in his voice is clear.]

[skelebro]

[Sans chuckles. Always nice to meet a kindred spirit.]

Gotta say, it takes a real spark to come up with jokes that great on the fly. I appreciate that.

[Damnit, and he already likes this guy. Snap judgments are nobody's friend. When Sans judges, he does it after a decent stretch of observation. Or, like, five minutes of it. Whatever comes first.]

[catinthemask]

I like to think I am rather humerus. The average player enjoys a game with a sense of humor which I'm happy to provide along with my usual services. A good laugh can help with Mood Swings that result from any shocking scenes.

[Following the Batter's ending with space apes, for example but that's a whole different story.]

Such as finding yourself in another game entirely. Though that seems to be the case for everyone here, I assume?

[skelebro]

[God this guy really has no medium restraint at all, does he? It's kinda refreshing, honestly, even if it's also prickling at his senses some.

Well, he'll deal with it. One way or another.]

Y'got a real way with words, buddy. And I gotta skele-ton of skele-puns, just you wait.

[Another "game". Well, Sans supposes he's not wrong, exactly.]

Yeah, so this place is somethin' else entirely. Nothing to be done about it.

[catinthemask]

[Not at all! You need a guy to give the fourth wall a good kick now and then. Or all the time, in Zacharie's case.]

I will wait in anticipation for you to tickle my funny bone, amigo. As for this game, it's OFF in a few ways I am not used to but I can adapt. After all, there seem to be a number of protagonists that can buy my items.

[Just nobody tell him there's really no money here. Or that he's getting an inventory reduction if he gets in.]

The only real concern is the monsters. Apparently it is within the rules to attack me. It's rather rude.

[skelebro]

[Better watch what you say about monsters, buddy. Some of them have ears (metaphorically), and don't appreciate being lumped in with their violent counterparts.]

Yeah, so it turns out Hadriel here doesn't give a crap when it comes to your, uh, typical limitations. Otherwise I'd've set up a hot dog stand and watched everything happen from the safety of my shopkeeper status.

['Course, that's not to say he won't do it anyway.]

[catinthemask]

[He'll keep those metaphorical ears in mind if it comes up. As for now it's the only word he's got to keep it different from the specters.]

A shame my specter eradicating friend is not around to lend a hand. These types are different than the typical enemy from my game but he would have a field day.

[In more ways than one. But really, Zacharie has no plans on doing more than what he's used to. Unlike a certain someone here, he's not a boss fight on a different route. Just a merchant.

Well, unless someone needs The Judge. Then he'd be happy to do that.]

[skelebro]

Your friend's ghost a problem with non-corporeals?

[Kind of a bizarrely specific monster to fixate on, especially since, to Sans's knowledge, aren't ghosts generally invulnerable to physical attack? But, eh, multiversal variation and all that. It's never quite clear.]

[catinthemask]

The Batter has a mission to purify the land of the phantoms plaguing it and the player is assisting him in this holy task. It's a real specter-acle.

[Especially the ending, but since that passed with a severe lack of flying colors, it doesn't matter.]

And that's where I come in, the only item merchant in the game. I make quite a bit of money and they are able to equip The Batter with weapons to make sure they don't face the Game Over screen for the umpteen time.

[Even if the only 'weapons' Zacharie sells are baseball bat. Hey, gotta stick to that theme, you know?]

[skelebro]

[The player. So a secondary entity.

Boy, but does that sound familiar. What's this "Batter" got to help him through it, huh? Determination? But that's assuming he's even human, which...it's not clear if Zacharie is either. It doesn't really matter one way or another.]

And you got no problems helpin' him out? Even if he might not have, uh...everyone's best interests at heart?

[So Sans might be projecting a little bit. Sue him.]

[catinthemask]

[Perhaps. But it's less determination this time and more about who's in control.]

Ah ah ah. None at all. I am merely the items merchant and although I did play the part of The Judge in one section of the game, I am not in a position to judge.

[The rendering of that belonged to his friend: The Judge. The jury was the player and the executioner....well, that all depended on you, didn't it Zero?]

Besides, OFF in the end is just a video game. Another player will play it and things will repeat.

[So nothing matters.]

ScrrreeeEEEEAAM ZACHARIE

[tongueamok]

[Carlisle isn't used to people talking to him on the street. He's even less used to people deliberately calling to him. What he's least used to is someone trying to sell a scrawny fellow like him weapons.

And so, after making sure there's no one else around -- no, no one else, so surely he must be talking to him -- Carlisle gives the masked merchant a puzzled look, pointing to his own chest.]

I'm sorry, but are you talking to me?

:)

[catinthemask]

[Since he's wearing a mask Zacharie can't exactly give him a smile, so instead a thumbs up will have to do.]

Yes I am! I am currently selling a variety of items and weapons to protagonists such as yourself in trying times like these. Are you interested in taking a look?

[Fourth wall, what fourth wall?]

[tongueamok]

[That puzzled look grows more incredulous by the second.]

... Protagonist? I'm a cleric, not a protagonist.

[Seriously, he can't see himself being the main character of even his own life.]

[catinthemask]

Ah, a support type! Excellent. Would you like to buy an Eye? It has a one hundred percent success rate of allowing you to see things like your enemies' HP. Always useful for those difficult boss battles that drag on. And that with a few other things may help your party avoid an untimely death.

[Hopefully Carlisle's been exposed to some video games to recognize a few of these terms. If not...enjoy more confusion?]

[tongueamok]

[He's from the most fantasy-filled fantasy world to every fantasy itself into existence, so... nope.avi.]

My enemies' what? Boss battles? Party?

[Yep. That'd be confusion.]

[catinthemask]

[Oops? But by this point Zacharie's run into people who've given him the same look, so he knows when to stop kicking a hole in the fourth wall and just get to the point.

He reaches down into his backpack and pulls out a polished glass eye. It's a pretty blue color! And the exact size of the average adult human eyeball.]

This is an Eye! In non video game terms, it will allow you to see how well your enemy is doing when you crush it. Naturally, as it's made of magic it won't hurt you. I also happen to sell items that will recharge your health and CP...erm, energy as well!

[tongueamok]

[Carlisle grimaces at the trinket produced by the masked man.]

That- that's not a real eye, is it? I mean, just because it's made of magic doesn't mean isn't not real.

[catinthemask]

Ah ah ah! Of course not. Although as a product of myself and my items coming from a video game and thus being unreal, the Eye is very much not real by normal standards. The only items I sell that comes from something is the Meat.

[Hench why there's a smell of...meat, coming from the backpack. Not a bad smell, mind. It's just there.]

[tongueamok]

[His grimace is still there.]

I get the distinct feeling that the more questions I ask, the worse off I'll be.

[infinite1up]

[This is just the kind of thing to brighten up Sato's day. Not that it's even been that bad, but it's always good to know who to go to for your essentials. Ammo, guns, high explosives... that sort of thing.]

I agree entirely. Now... let's talk ammunition.