dankmemes | test drive meme #14

Entry tags:

!test drive

test drive meme #14

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st. Please remember that starting in December, there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to destroy you for your vegetarian ways. This time, the Door has brought in a large group of Killer Tomatoes, from the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie.

While it is not immediately clear how these odd creatures can kill you, rest assured that you should be quaking in your boots. They can bite with their weird little tomato mouths, they can roll after you surprisingly fast, and they can even explode! Truly terrifying. But if you manage to defeat some of these agents of terror and chaos, you could make some mean salsa.]

D R A G O N A G E

SCENARIO TWO: VACATION IN THEDAS
[While you're exploring the city, perhaps you'll run into another creature that's slipped through a rift and is exploring along with you - or perhaps hunting would be a better term. Yes, Hadriel is teeming with demons straight from Thedas.

Perhaps you'll run into a desire demon, who will offer you your deepest wish - in exchange for your body and soul, of course. Perhaps you'll find a pride demon, who will play upon your strengths and weaknesses until you give in to them. Or maybe it'll be a despair demon, there to crush all your hopes and dreams.

Or maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll just find a nug.

This is a mini version of our Fadeout event this month!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: SWEDISH MANUFACTURING
[You're in luck! You know that thing you've always wanted? Doesn't matter what it is - a cool weapon, a nice dress, a well-made bedstand, a rare magical invention. Whatever it is, you just managed to find it! Whoa!

Or, well, you managed to find a box with a picture of the item on it. When you open the box, you find all the necessary components for making that item, along with illustrated instructions for putting it together. There's no written instructions, just pictures, but you're smart, you can figure it out! And it'll look just like the photo on the box. You're sure of it.

Better get building! Okay, the instructions don't entirely make sense - did you screw that part in upside down? Wait, are these pages out of order? Maybe you can ask that person nearby for help, or maybe you'll just sink into the depths of confusion and despair. But keep trying! Just think of what you'll get if you succeed!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

2. Vacation in Thedas.

[This isn't one of the zones that he's been sent to purify. Even so, it's clear that this world is impure; there are holes in the very fabric of reality that spew out things that, even if they aren't the spectres that he's used to destroying, are similar enough.]

[Purification is his sacred purpose. He will let nothing get in the way of its fulfillment.]

[He hunts the demons, walking the streets until he finds one. It tries to tempt him with offers of power and wealth, but falters in the face of the Batter's stoical countenance. There's only one thing he wants, and he grips the handle of his bat in one tight fist as he prepares for combat. It asks him what he desires, as though it would be able to provide it.]

Purity.

[Purification in progress.]

3. Swedish Manufacturing

[There are instructions for the construction of an Add-On, which would be useful since none of his are with him in this new world. The Batter would think that it was something from Zacharie, except that he'd never give away anything for free. And he'd never provided anything that needed construction.]

[Usually, Add-Ons don't need to be built, anyway. They come pre-assembled. The Batter opens the instructions that come with it, sitting with the pieces lined up in front of him and the paper in his lap. It's some kind of puzzle, he thinks. The pictures are probably supposed to be decoded into appropriate instructions, but as they are, they don't seem to give the entirety of the directions. Maybe they're out of order? Or maybe parts of them are missing?]

[The Batter frowns, and starts trying to put things together according to the directions as he understands them. All the pieces don't fit, though, and instead of being a hoop, the Add-On looks like a crooked zig-zag. That can't be right, and he pulls it apart again to start over.]

Hm.

[Somethin' about this cuts a real familiar figure. There's some pretty key differences, granted - like the whole bit where there ain't dust, the bit where the monsters ain't running scared - but there's somethin' in the way the guy walks dully ahead, locked on a precise goal, that smacks as more than a bit familiar.

Why, you can practically hear the harsh, shuddering joct! of the world shifting into something a little more monochrome, a little more combat-oriented.

Sans watches the trading of blows with his standard grin, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets. Waits for it to be over, of course, 'cause that's just good manners.]

You do this sorta thing often?

[Adversary purified.]

[The Batter turns when he's addressed, facing this new skeletal interlocutor. Another spectre for him to purify, maybe, but most of those don't talk to him first. The zone guardians did, of course, though they were also hostile and he hasn't gotten any real hostility from this creature yet. He'll wait. He needs information.]

[His grip on the Ashley bat shifts slightly. It's sticky.]

Yes. I've been assigned to a sacred mission.

[One dramatic shift from the world he occupied to this one - things are a whole lot messier. He'd gotten used to the startling crimson that spilled from humans when they died, or from one human in particular. But it turns out all humans are leaky like that, and so're a lotta other things.

He can't say for certain if this fella is appraisin' him in preparation to take a swing at him, but he's confident in his ability to dodge should the need arise.]

Sacred mission. [He repeats the words in his languorous drawl, mildly skeptical, but mostly just nonchalant.] Sounds pretty important.

Who, uh..."assigned" you to it?

[Swinging is never far from his mind. He is the Batter, after all.]

[The skeleton's skepticism draws no real response from the purifier. It doesn't matter if he believes in his purpose, the Batter's purpose remains steadfast regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. An implacable force and an immovable object.]

A higher power. [Charming conversationalist, isn't he?] I will purify the world.

Yeah, okay.

[A higher power, huh? Don't seem to be eager to specify what kinda higher power that might be. The notion of a higher anything ain't exactly original, but there's a bit of variation where that's concerned.]

And by "purify" you mean...?

[He trails off meaningfully. You wanna finish that sentence for him?]

[He is without his Higher Power now; the Player is silent, missing, and all of the Batter's actions are his own. But even without the guidance of his Player, he has a mission to fulfill, and he will not allow anything to hinder it. Not even silence. He will continue on with his task, confident in his faith.]

Purge the corruption. [That's basically just the definition of 'purify'. Unhelpful.] Cleanse the world of spectres that defy divine ordinance.

[And anyone else that stands in his way, too.]

Uh-huh.

[That explains absolutely nothing, ball-man, but thanks. Sans opens a hand in a wavy, noncommittal supination, deliberately projecting nothing but a carefully casual disposition.]

Could ya maybe vague that up for me some?

[The Batter is not a patient man, and he doesn't like wasting time with useless chatter. Like this, basically, this whole conversation is just one big waste of his time, since this person seems to have no information for him, only questions.]

[And, anyway, he's holding a bloody bat and talking about purifying shit, what the fuck do you think he's going to do, bonehead?]

Are you a spectre?

Y'mean a ghost?

[Cuts to the chase, don't he? Not so surprisin', maybe, and Sans might be good for idle chatter, but he also knows how to pick his battles. That is to say, he doesn't pick any battles unless he absolutely has to.

Now ain't the time to go pickin' up any battles, see.]

Do I look like a ghost to you, pal? The name's Sans. [He'd reach out to shake the guy's hand, but given the way that bat is coated with a sticky residue, he's, uh...not gonna go there.] Sans the skeleton.

Then my task is none of your concern.

[Probably. It's probably none of his concern. Just trust the bat-wielding man who claims that his divine mandate is to beat the shit out of 'ghosts' that apparently don't always look like ghosts. Just... yeah, just trust him.]

[All the Batter would do is straight up murder the Gods and probably a few innocent people as well, and then turn the murdercave into a barren wasteland filled with abomination babies. Nothing to worry about. It's all good.]

I must purify the rest of this city. There are more impure spirits.

[He'd kinda disagree with that, Sans would. He shoves his hands back in his pockets, appraising the guy evenly. He's still smiling. He never really stops smiling.

Kinda like a certain cat the Batter might know.]

If y'mean the things crawlin' around in the tunnels, sure. Go to town with 'em.

[A certain cat, or a certain person-with-a-cat-mask. The Batter is unperturbed by Sans' perpetual grin, but he's also unperturbed by literally everything. Got the emotional range of a rock. Probably not going to be much of a snack for the emotion-eating gods around here.]

[Though he might try getting them to eat their own teeth.]

They aren't restricted to the caves.

[The Batter rests his bat on his shoulder, apparently unconcerned about the mess that he's getting on his uniform. He looks good in red, anyway, doesn't he?]

I'll purify those once I'm done here.

You want my advice, you really ought'a start in the caves.

[Yes, he's patently aware that the guy didn't solicit Sans's advice. He doesn't care.

Either way, he's not really fond of the direction this conversation is going, so he switches tacks. Slightly. He can bring things around to the beginning like a pro, after all. Call it a special talent.

Or adaptability. One of the two.]

You gotta name, pal?

I'm called the Batter.

[It's descriptive, at least. You know exactly where you stand with a guy named the Batter, who know who he is and what he does. He's a guy, and he hits things with a baseball bat.]

[And if Sans thinks that introductions are going to stall him for very long, he hasn't been around the Batter long enough. Skeleton man knows his name, he's done here. The Batter continues down the road; the hunt for impure spirits to cleanse continues.]

I have work to do.

(no subject)

skelebro - 2016-11-28 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

[Once the dust settles it's probably to nobody's surprise that Zacharie's here as he always sort of is. Waking up in a different Zone had been a surprise but things settled into business as usual, especially once he could see The Batter had settled into much the same.

He's wearing his cat mask as the NPC offers a jaunty wave from the wall he was leaning against, conveniently out of the way of the action when it was going on.]

Good evening, dear reckless accomplice. I'd offer a joke about falling down the rabbit hole but it has been made before. Instead, welcome to Hadriel. Getting acquainted with the local monsters? Ahhaha.

[The Batter isn't surprised when he sees Zacharie. Wherever he goes, the merchant is always there, ready to exchange his credits for goods. He doesn't care; money doesn't matter to him except for the fact that Zacharie requires it for the things he needs to complete his mission.]

[He lowers his bat. Zacharie is no spectre and no threat.]

Purification is necessary here. [It isn't the world he was originally assigned to purify, but he is a purifier. Where there is corruption, he purges it.] I must continue with my mission.

[It all works out in the end, doesn't it? The Batter has credits he doesn't need and Zacharie has stuff he wants to sell. But deeper speculation on their relationship is probably left to Tumblr and not the action brackets. So let's move on.]

Maiou. But of course. However I am assuming you have noticed the change in the local population, both in the enemies and the possibly not. As my previous dialog indicated, this place is called Hadriel and is an entirely different world than our game.

[Or just a role-playing game, but that's getting a little too meta.]

That all said, the common information of this place is that we cannot leave of our own free will. So things may be a little more difficult than usual, dear friend.

[It's very different; the adversaries aren't the same, nor are the inhabitants. No Elsen. No meat rivers or plastic oceans or metal harvested from animals. No Player guiding his steps and actions. This Hadriel place is certainly not like any zone that the Batter's had to go through before, but... he's here. He's here and burdened with purpose.]

Yes. I noticed.

[You probably don't interact with the Batter for the scintillating conversation.]

[He frowns at the new information. Or, well, he's probably frowning, he never really changes expression all that much.]

What is keeping us?

Edited (html, my great weakness) 2016-11-28 00:06 (UTC)

[It is rather strange. Everyone was an unique being. Zacharie didn't know a single thing about this game, all his information came from actually walking around and talking to people rather than just knowing it. No Puppeteer.

But no, Zacharie didn't a stimulating conversation but hey, like he always says, 'less talking and more action'. Or inasmuch action that can be had here. Seems they were at the mercy of those above them. Speaking of...]

From what I understand, there are Gods who seek the revival of the others and use of our emotions as batteries to power themselves.

[So they're probably looking at The Batter and wondering how the heck that'll work.]

[It'd be pretty hard for these Gods to extract any sort of emotional sustenance out of the Batter, since his default emotional state seems to be 'mostly neutral, slightly smug' and rarely shifts to anything else. He doesn't like the sound of beings that feed off of people, anyway, because you know what that sounds like?]

I see. They're spectres.

[And there's only one thing that the Batter does with spectres. This is good, though-- his purpose is reaffirmed. This might not be part of the zones that he was intended to purify, but it's still being ruled by corruptive forces. Corruption must be removed. The path forward is clear.]

I will destroy them.

[And there it is. Good thing Zacharie doesn't place bets on The Batter, he'd lose every time if it had nothing to do with purification. But back to the usual business.]

From what I understand there are currently six gods currently. They are knows as Hope, Fear, Sorrow, Delight, Rage and Confusion. As for the others I am not sure of. They also have temples here But finding them may not be as simple as ringing a door bell.

[Well, it's not like waltzing up to any of the Guardian's locations had been easy either and, given The Batter's determination, a non-issue for the most part. But it'd be interesting to see where it went in the end.]

[The Batter takes note of these things. Six current spectres, possibly more to come. All of them based off of some kind of emotional state, all of them with their own distinct locations. Getting them to meet him might not be easy, but the Batter is good at solving puzzles. He will find a way.]

Very well.

[He has work to do, then. That's fine, the Batter prefers having a clear objective to strive towards. Whether it's purifying mines or eliminating these god-spectres, it doesn't matter.]

Where is the nearest one of these temples?

[A creature, an inhuman thing so tall it could block out the sun, comes storming with echoed boot-falls. It stomps, doesn't walk, with purposeful and angry steps. The figure in white and black enrages him. He's only just arrived in this shithole and the self-righteous fiend he spots is not the sort of idiot he wants to see.

He approaches if only because the Batter is the only one around, roaring behind him:]

You. Get the fuck up. Face me.

[And this is how the big boss says hello.]

[He remembers Dedan. He also remembers that he purified him and the entirety of zone 1, so seeing him again would be surprising if the Batter had any sort of emotional range. He removes the pieces of the disassembled Add-On from his lap and places them on the ground, neatly lined up next to the puzzling directions.]

[He picks up the Ashley bat and turns. Dedan's jacket is open, just like it was for their fight in Alma. It was closed when he first spoke with the first guardian; did he rip it open just for their battle? Can he no longer close it? There are many questions, most of which will probably go unanswered.]

You're a persistent malignancy.

[He looks up at the monstrous guardian; size doesn't intimidate him. Dedan is large, but Enoch was larger.]

I'll defeat you again, Dedan. Maybe it'll stick the second time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

test drive meme #14

The Batter | Off

what a (two)l

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

why hello there :D [1]

hi :)

I'm happy there's people who play from this game :D

i only just started, but i'm replaying the game again

it's a very fun one, right ;)

i'd forgotten how good it is. it's been a long time since i played it last.

no subject

no subject

3

no subject