dankmemes | test drive meme #14

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!test drive

test drive meme #14

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st. Please remember that starting in December, there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: HOW SAUCY
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to destroy you for your vegetarian ways. This time, the Door has brought in a large group of Killer Tomatoes, from the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie.

While it is not immediately clear how these odd creatures can kill you, rest assured that you should be quaking in your boots. They can bite with their weird little tomato mouths, they can roll after you surprisingly fast, and they can even explode! Truly terrifying. But if you manage to defeat some of these agents of terror and chaos, you could make some mean salsa.]

D R A G O N A G E

SCENARIO TWO: VACATION IN THEDAS
[While you're exploring the city, perhaps you'll run into another creature that's slipped through a rift and is exploring along with you - or perhaps hunting would be a better term. Yes, Hadriel is teeming with demons straight from Thedas.

Perhaps you'll run into a desire demon, who will offer you your deepest wish - in exchange for your body and soul, of course. Perhaps you'll find a pride demon, who will play upon your strengths and weaknesses until you give in to them. Or maybe it'll be a despair demon, there to crush all your hopes and dreams.

Or maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll just find a nug.

This is a mini version of our Fadeout event this month!]

C O N F U S I O N

SCENARIO THREE: SWEDISH MANUFACTURING
[You're in luck! You know that thing you've always wanted? Doesn't matter what it is - a cool weapon, a nice dress, a well-made bedstand, a rare magical invention. Whatever it is, you just managed to find it! Whoa!

Or, well, you managed to find a box with a picture of the item on it. When you open the box, you find all the necessary components for making that item, along with illustrated instructions for putting it together. There's no written instructions, just pictures, but you're smart, you can figure it out! And it'll look just like the photo on the box. You're sure of it.

Better get building! Okay, the instructions don't entirely make sense - did you screw that part in upside down? Wait, are these pages out of order? Maybe you can ask that person nearby for help, or maybe you'll just sink into the depths of confusion and despair. But keep trying! Just think of what you'll get if you succeed!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Luckily, he's already seen some strange, inexplicable things, such as the Green King. Seeing death and dismemberment won't really faze Yukari. You're good, friend.

Yukari tsks under a chuckle.]

So is it you can't touch matter?

[He kneels down to look closer at the box, seeing the pictograms.]

What will you do with a rocket, if you can't touch it properly?

[Not that it's any of his business, and he won't really care if she chooses not to answer. But, being a little curious is interesting.]

[She props her chin up on her palms while she watches him in a convincing mime of having a desk to sulk on.]

Such is life. Afterlife.

[Since she was missing her awesome ladybug ring from the last interdimensional city she'd been stuck in... Back to floating through things full-time.]

Look at how pretty it is and dream, probably. Or hitch a ride with some other poor bastards trapped down here if they're stupid enough to try and crash through the ceiling. You know, the usual.

[Beauty, hmm? That's something he can get behind.]

It would be rather unfortunate to see someone demolish it by trying to break free.

[ He sits himself delicately on the floor and removes his coat, placing it beside him as he rolls up his sleeves. He props the box before him and opens it, looking at the pieces within.]

But wouldn't you be able to leave on your own accord, Pink-chan? If you can pass through matter, you might be able to see bigger and more beautiful rockets, right?

[He looks at the manual as he talks, putting some of the pieces together.]

Edited (Messed up my HTML there, oops.) 2016-12-07 05:58 (UTC)

[Her eyes scan through the pieces, and she helpfully points out a few whenever Yukari pauses too long for her liking. Whether it's correct or not is a mystery... Her people grow rocketships, they don't build them. This has a million pieces, too, heck.]

Oh, you'd think. My spirit's been bound to this cave. Bummer, huh? Kinda expected it. Better than a watch, at least.

[Not as nice as a little girl. That sure had been a nice place to tie her soul. Man, she hopes Hazel's doing okay... But she doesn't let it show, keeping her usual smile in place and her eyes focused.]

I've seen some nice rockets in my time, though, don't worry. Literal rockets, not euphemistic ones, for the record.

[Yukari accepts any advice she has to offer with ease. This manual is a little hard to follow, and he's not exactly an engineer. Not that he couldn't be, he just isn't. If she knows better than he does, he certainly has no problems following such instruction.]

Is there a way to change that? Being bound to a specific place?

[Probably not, but he's not going to claim to know much about ghosts, considering he's still among the living himself.]

How long have you been a ghost, Pink-chan? [He puzzles over a couple pieces in his hands, wondering how they could possibly belong on a rocket.] You must have been an astronaut or a mechanical engineer.

[So he guesses, for all he knows, she could have died before those dreams were realised.]

Sure. Pretty strict rules, though. [Not totally sure how it would work here... Being a ghost is hard.] Pretty boned in that regard right now,

[Izabel squints at the pieces as well, then gives a huge shrug. Beats her.]

Well, you're lucky it's been long enough that asking isn't some huge offense, or anything. Some newbie ghost might burst into phantom tears if you keep being so insensitive.

[She's teasing, mostly. Besides, you're never supposed to ask a woman her age!!!]

Ha. I wish. Nah, just a regular girl. [Daughter of freedom fighters, but that's honestly...normal...in Saga...] Just wanted to get the hell off my planet real bad.

[He's pretty sure she just made an ironic joke there. Boned, huh? Yep, he sees what you did there. But he doesn't outwardly acknowledge it.

He places the odd pieces aside and picks up a few more. Maybe the puzzle will make more sense as they go along.]

Oh, where are my manners. Though, I would be more concerned about being haunted.

[A snarky jab back. Crying wouldn't bother him anyway.]

Oh, so you're an alien? [He stares quizzically at the instructions, not looking up as he tries to put more of this thing together. He thinks this thing might be a model and not the full-sized product.] Humn....

Edited 2016-12-07 23:24 (UTC)

[It's seeming doubtful... And yeah, if this rocket ship is meant for anything, it's hopes and dreams. Maybe a small child. She made that wish pretty early on in her life, and there were other people she would want it fulfilled for now. Sweet little Hazel... If only everything could come in a helpful box.]

Everybody's an alien to somebody, my dude. Kinda a stupid thing to say. Besides I've got my beautiful Cleave ears and nose! Should be obvious.

[Large and flat, respectively.]

I suppose that's true. But we don't usually see other-worlders on our planet. Call us uncultured.

[Well, except for him. He's very cultured, even if this is the first time he's met an alien.

He actually looks up to examine her features, allowing himself to get sidetracked from building the rocket.]

Ah, of course. How could I have not noticed such a dazzling appearance?

[A smile, casual and amused without giving any actual emotion away. At the very least, she's pretty, and interesting.]

What was your home planet like? Do you ever miss it, even though you left it behind you?

[He gives her more of his attention as he takes a mental break from the rocket, idly turning the pieces in his hands when he looks at them.]

Edited 2016-12-08 14:22 (UTC)

Okay, uncultured.

[But she's encountered this before, so it doesn't blindside her as much as it had back in Ruby City. Silly primitive cultures without interplanetary travel... She stretches her arms up, then tucks her hands behind her head like she's taking a break, too. Because she'd tooootally been helping.]

It was home, so sure. Kinda sucked a fat one, though. Big ball of mud and war. Couldn't wait to leave, just didn't happen until after I moved planes.

[Yukari frowns a little in thought. A planet covered in mud and war does not sound very pleasant at all. The thought in living in such a place, he would want to get out as quickly as he could, too.

Too bad for you, though; meeting death and being unable to touch things.]

Can't ghosts possess bodies? [Meant more in passing than actual curiousity.] It certainly must be inconvenient to not be able to do anything on your own. What kind of options do you get, Pink-chan?

[eh, it happens.]

What, you want me trying to get in your pants, or something?

[har har har bodyjacking humor.]

Nah. Not in the way people think anyway. There's a few people I can attach my soul to, but I'm kinda fresh outta those. Stuck sleeping in these cave walls until they get back in stock. [Which...wasn't going to happen. It's fine!!! It's totally fine.] What do you mean by 'options'?

I'll keep my pants to myself, if you don't mind.

[Too bad, he took that one seriously. He picks back up the pieces and starts trying to put more of them together, as if to pretend the pants line didn't just happen.]

Well, like what you can attach your soul to. What are the qualifications of a person? Or an inanimate object? [Indicating the caves with a quick wave of his hand.] What's the rulebook on this sort of thing?

[Ah, bad move, buddy. She's going to have fun with the innuendo around this one, apparently.]

Back on Cleave, it had to be a living native who was willing to let you hitch along. Otherwise I was tied to the planet like every other dead member of my race. Fun!

[Crowded and not fun at all... Not that ghosts took up space, really.]

Couldn't tell you how I got bound to a watch last time this sorta thing happened, or if the living native idea works with this cave. Can't exactly test it, huh? Don't think the gods count.

I do suppose finding a native would be difficult. But, maybe a God does count. If they're the only natives, and have bodies, then isn't it more likely to be possible?

[This actually sounds like your classic vampire stories, where the vampires have to have permission to come in.]

I mean, you're at the mercy of their answers, but it doesn't hurt to ask. And even if it doesn't work that way, maybe they can provide you something else to attach your soul to. Something mobile. Gods are supposed to be all powerful, right?

[He thinks he can make out what's coming together to be the front of the hull in this little rocket ship, now.]

What, like my little love rocket here?

[She just wanted it to sound vaguely dirty. Izabel shrugs off the teasing tone with a bob of her shoulders.]

Don't think I want to, really. I mean, leaving would be great, don't get me wrong, but none of the gods look like they're in a hurry to get out. And the rocket can't bust through the ceiling, so...

I bet you're a real hit with the ladies back home.

[Said sarcastically, of course. He's not amused.]

Well, even if you're not able to escape any time soon, isn't it better to have something you can use? Sitting around and waiting for more magic boxes that you can't open on your own seems like a poor suggestion. If you want a way out, shouldn't you work toward one?

[Waiting for something to fall in your lap is not productive at all, you know.]

Can't say I disappoint 'em, no.

[THIS IS A LIE, SHE WOULD ARGUE WITH HER EX ALL THE TIME]

Oh, you mean like that. Nah, binding my soul doesn't do dick for me that way. Just gives me a...different anchor point? Comfy new bed, I guess. And honestly I'm more concerned with bringing people here than moving out. Shit sucks in my sector of space.

Oh, so that's how it works.

[Okay, first he's heard of those rules. How terrible it is to be a ghost that can't do anything for herself. Isn't there a moving on trick somewhere? Or is that rule messed up, too?]

Bringing people in? Why would you want to do that?

[And how does she get them here in the first place if she can't touch anything?]

Guessing there's not much of an intergalactic war going on where you're from, huh...

[it sucks man]

Frustrating as this place is, pretty sure it's still safer than the shit happening back home. Nobody here seems to have a boner for murdering or kidnapping some little girl, for example.

War, yes. Intergalactic, probably not so much.

[Battles between Kings and sectors where plenty of people have died. But, he's not particularly worried about it.]

So you're talking about saving people then.

[Kidnapping, huh? Even the Kings and Clansmen where he's from aren't above that. Including himself.]

Can you be so certain that no one here is like that? Or anywhere?

[...Well she's certainly getting some unconcerned upper class vibes from this guy, now.]

I mean, sure, there'll be assholes everywhere, but not assholes in the same way, you know? Like where I'm from? People are afraid of a dead kid like me to the point of, like, coming across as racist fucks. You not so much! So far.

If you can't touch anything, why are they afraid of you? Don't tell me it's just the way you look.

[Yukari clicks his tongue in distaste. Seriously? Racism? People still get hung up on that?]

It sounds like your people need to find a better use of their time in a war-ridden galaxy. Rather petty to be judgmental of the dead when you're trying to survive.

Guess I'm not everybody's type.

[...Also she has insane illusion powers that her people have used to horrify soldiers for years, but. You know. Holding onto that card, for now.]

Besides, discrimination's kinda a big proponent of war society. Big wigs love that sorta thing, really keeps the fires burning.

Discrimination, hmm?

[Yukari comes from a war setting himself. But his Kings seem more interested in Capture the Flag than discriminating too much against others. Sure, you had the occasional person who thought they were superiour to everyone else, but it wasn't really racism as much as it was entitlement and territory.]

I think your rulers might need to be overthrown if they just want to keep people at each others throats for nothing other than giggles. A little chaos is fine, but it gets tiring if that's all you do.

[Yukari holds up what he thinks is finally the finished product of the rocket ship, setting it on the ground in front of Izabel, watching her to see if it looks correct.]

I think that should do it, running portions and all.

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